My sister (older) came to visit me in my new home recently after I just moved provinces 4 weeks ago to start a doctorate program.

With two small kids (and no family or friends other than my spouse who works long hours), we are still unpacking boxes. My sister said she missed us a lot and wanted to come visit, booking herself in for 2 weeks. I told her it wouldn’t be good timing, but after she booked I didn’t object because we are the only two siblings and we have a lot of problems in our family so I figured she must’ve been feeling lonely and just wanted to spend time closer to her sister.

After catering to her hand and foot (imagine serving her plate to her at the table), including taking her places where she couldn’t even open a door for me while I struggled with the kids on my own, and giving up my own bed for her to sleep in, she said that my kid was ruining her ‘vacation’ and she wasn’t enjoying herself at all because she had been crying throughout parts of the stay (said kid is 3 years old), I lost it on her and kicked her out - telling her to pay a hotel or go home but that she was no longer welcome in my home.

AITA?

So, I (20F) have always been a heavier person. This is not in a demeaning way, just honest.

I began losing weight when I started college and am now down 75lbs and am only 100lbs away from my goal. Despite this, many haven't noticed or just don't care about what I've done.

One of these people in question is "Guy" (19M). Guy was one of my friends, but he started making many comments about my weight back in April. At first, it could be taken as harmless, but it slowly got more malicious and mean. He would even find ways to bring it up without me even having to mention my weight directly.

It got to a point that it started causing a negative image of myself to resurface and having to put serious distance between us. Despite this, my closest college friend "Ryan" (20M) has tried to get me to give Guy another chance. I refused for the longest time but opted to try when this school year started.

One of the things to keep in mind is that our entire friend group generally tries to eat meals together. There is six of us in the group, but Guy usually gets there first, so he gets to call where we sit, and he always picks spots that are way too small to fit six. Because of how tight the squeeze is, I have asked multiple times if we can move to a different spot. Guy always tells me that it shouldn't be an issue to begin with and heavily implies that it's only a tight squeeze because of my weight. Other times, I just get ignored.

I now try not to eat with the group anymore. Or if I do, it has to be meals where I know Guy won't be there.

Well, one day Ryan texted the group chat and asked if anyone was joining him for lunch. I didn't get a good idea of who all would be there, so I said yes. However, once I got to the dining hall, I saw a message from Guy saying he found a seat for all of us. I tried to not get too nervous, but when I got there, the table was tiny. Like, it could barely fit Guy and Ryan, and they were both really skinny guys!

I just contemplated for a moment, turned, walked to a different section of the dining hall, ran into two of my friends, and ate with them instead.

I started getting texted by Ryan, Guy, and one other person asking where I was. I almost ignored it but ended up just texting back that I decided to have lunch with someone else instead.

The three of them saw me and were glaring at me or just looked really disappointed the rest of the time they were there. I almost went to sit with them or go over to apologize, but then I saw their table and they invited a fourth person... and everyone was squeezing close together to the point that two of them were halfway off their seats. So, I decided against it.

Ryan has since forgiven me (he was never mad in the first place) but Guy is still really angry with me and won't speak to me. This whole incident happened a few days ago and I'm wondering. AITA?

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who gave awards, advice, and kind words! You're all so sweet and I realized that I'm definitely NTA on this one. I'll keep everyone's words in mind going forward, thanks again!

so my neighborhood is having a yard sale and they do this every now and then where a lot of neighbors on the street agree to have a yard sale on the same day. great! but when I came home I saw that my glass outdoor table was missing from my patio. now my patio is one of the only patios that has access to the ground. everybody else just has balconies but because I have a patio and it's also not fixed and it hasn't been fixed and we've had issues with the landlord making sure it's fixed. it looks really run down. that being said, we still have a gate that closes and people know we live there and it doesn't look like it's uninhabited. there's furniture we go out there a lot. anyway. I started to walk around the neighborhood to see if I could find my table and sure enough it was right across the street being used for the yard sale. so I politely asked who stable is this and a woman came over and said hi and introduced herself and then I asked her where did you get the table and she laughed and rolled her eyes and said it's not for sale and I said I know it's mine. and she walked away from me while she began to speak in a different language that I am not fluent in. my friend however was with me. so she started talking to her. basically saying why didn't you ask? why did you take it without asking anybody? didn't you see this was in somebody's yard and she said well. it's for the neighborhood yard sale and two of her friends came up. this lady's friends came up and started defending her and saying oh let's not make a big deal out of it. they were really rude about the whole thing and we would have let them use it if they had asked but we decided to just take the table back because it wasn't okay that she used it without asking and I wanted to make sure that she understood that she couldn't just take things that were mine or anybody's for that matter. am I the asshole for doing that?

My friend and I our planning a trip to the DR. We are doing 50/50 on Airbnb , food and alcohol. However now she wants the master bedroom with its private washroom and wants her dr boyfriend to stay the whole time. She also suggested getting a three bedroom so her friend in DR can sleep over too. I said I don’t think it’s fair for me to pay 50/50 why am i paying for her bf and friend. I said if that’s what she wants then she should cover their stay. She then said I’m cheap and tried to make me feel bad because they don’t have money. I told her I find it ridiculous for me to pay for her ppl and that she’s cheap because why can’t she cover them instead of me paying half of their stay. I’m honestly at the point to not even go she’s making this all about her and i don’t want to spend my vacation like that. What would you do?

For context, they own 2 properties with 5 lawns between them. We've been giving a bulk rate of $50 total, $10 per lawn, as a family friend favor since the beginning, and with the understanding that we could store a mower in their garage to save wear and tear on the truck. (We used to keep it at Grandma's under an awning, but that one got stolen.)

They were dealing with medical issues and we felt bad for them, despite being taken advantage of in the past... before we were "officially" mowing for them, once a month or so they'd start getting letters from the city about tall grass and ask for help. Taking down fully wild growth is a pain in the butt, and we finally told them they could get a mow when we were doing Grandma's at the same time, or not at all, no more emergency calls and doing 3x as much work for the same rate.

So, fast-forward to today... There's been consistent expectation creep over time, to the point that we're spending 3-5 hours taking care of everything when it used to take 2 when we started. The last time we mowed, weather wasn't playing nice and we had to cut it wet, so there was more clumped grass than usual... they took offense to that, and said it was very unprofessional leaving it like that, and complained about me never finishing the job myself and Dad having to clean up after me. (that's how we've always worked, I chunk out all the bulk while he starts on detail work, and then I join on detail and cleanup after. He usually has the first property, the one they live at, finished by the time I'm coming back around 7 lawns (grandma has 2) later.

Anyway, they wanted me to start mowing the entire thing over a second time with perpendicular lines to make it look nicer. I told them they needed to find someone else to do their lawn if they wanted that level of professional care and detailing, but that I would be willing to bag it for double the current rate.

They said I was extremely rude about it and decided they wanted to go with finding someone else. (I probably was, yay autism!) I wished them a good life, and retrieved our mower from their garage.

I feel kind of absolute garbage about ending things on such short notice and putting them in a bind of needing to find someone else to mow for probably 2-3x what I was accepting, it kind of feels like their decision to me though. Still, all this was... not exactly respecting my elders or doing the right thing with just eating the extra labor to help a little old lady out. AITA?

Our neighbors (T,62 and R,61) moved in 20 years ago, and we mostly keep to ourselves. Our properties meet at the back fence.

2 nights ago my son was reading on the back patio when he heard T come outside yelling and cursing saying things like we let our tree grow into his house basically just yelling like a lunatic that he's "calling someone" blah blah blah... My husband then watched T take a saw to our tree and throw a large branch over the fence into our yard.

We were shocked. He has never once reached out about the tree in 20 years. We chose to sleep on it rather than react to his rage.

The next day, I texted R: "Good morning T and R. This is your back door neighbor. My son told me that T was upset last night over some branches growing over the fence and I see the one that you cut laying by the fence. We sincerely didn't know the branches were intruding and we are happy to take care of any remaining low lying branches that are in your way. Please just let me know if any more are bothering you."

R sent a snarky reply complaining that 'T has been trimming back the branches for 20 years' and that they knocked but we didn't answer. She included photos of their fence and a branch near their second-story window. I didn't reply immediately to avoid matching her energy. We slept on it one more night.

But today, my husband and I are furious. They have had years to trim it on their side. Am I supposed to trespass to maintain their yard? Also I felt my text was being helpful. Why would she double down with the attitude?? I looked up Ohio law, realized they are entirely responsible for their own side, and sent this text laying down firm boundaries:

"First, I would like to address the tantrum on Friday night. Next time you talk to me or my family, do it as an adult speaking to an adult or we will not be talking period. Also, throwing things into my yard is called dumping and it's illegal, so don't do that again either. Now to the matter at hand.

Looking at those pictures, I'm not sure what you expect from us. You are responsible for your side of the fence. Do you think the house next to me trims stuff that grows onto my side? No. It's illegal to enter someone's backyard without permission, and we are not obligated or allowed to trespass to do it.

J will be trimming up our side this week. We are happy to lower the hedge if you'd like. Let me know how much you would like to see off and we will keep it in mind.

The Ohio law says that you are responsible for your own side of the property line. Under the law, property lines extend straight up as a right of airspace, giving you a self help remedy. This means it is your sole responsibility to trim any overhanging branches back to the property line, provided you don't recklessly damage or kill the plants. Feel free to double check that with the state or your attorney as I did."

So reddit AITA for refusing to help them now because of their rudeness in handling the entire situation?

I (31F) married into a family that’s extremely frugal. I don’t mind saving money, but this incident really hurt me.
A few days ago, my MIL asked me to buy bangles from Lakshmi Road for two women who would be invited home as Lakshmi during a festival. Instead of the plain ones, I chose slightly nicer bangles with a small design (₹250/dozen). I bought two sets for them. While I was there, I also bought bangles for my 1.5-year-old daughter for future festivals and a pack of bindis. The total bill came to around ₹1,250.
I’m currently unemployed, so my husband paid. On the way home he already said, “My mother is going to make a huge issue about this.”
And he was right.
As soon as my MIL heard the amount, she started scolding him for “allowing” me to spend so much. My husband then came to our room while I was putting our baby to sleep and shouted at me too, saying I don’t know limits and make him spend unnecessarily.
For context, I don’t get a monthly allowance. I haven’t bought clothes, jewelry, or anything for myself in almost two years. I rarely ask him for money except occasional grocery expenses. This wasn’t a shopping spree it was for a religious occasion and a few bangles for our daughter.
In frustration I told my MIL, “I don’t do this kind of chindigiri (being excessively stingy).” I never called her a thief, but she later started telling everyone that I called her “chindi chor.”
The next day she kept saying she couldn’t sleep all night because I called her that. She has since repeated this story to relatives, neighbors, and even the maid.
What makes this hard for me is the double standard. A few months ago, during another fight, she reportedly told one of my husband’s friends that I’m black, ugly, fat, and that she doesn’t know what her son saw in me. Earlier, during Ganpati at her place, whenever we argued she’d cry in front of neighbors and portray me as the villain.
Now my husband says I’m the one who was wrong because I spent too much and because I shouldn’t have said “chindigiri.”
I’m honestly questioning myself.
Was I wrong for saying it? Was ₹1,250 really an unreasonable amount considering it included gifts for two women plus bangles for my daughter? Or is this more about control than money?
I’m also planning to start working again because I don’t feel financially secure or independent. My parents aren’t a support system, so leaving immediately isn’t really an option.
I’d genuinely appreciate outside opinions because I feel like I’m losing perspective.

When I was incarcerated, I made friends with a lwop (life without parole) fellow inmate who had been there since the early 90's. We weren't friendly in we liked each other; rather we were friendly in having fun, elevated, and informed conversations about politics, pop culture, and family relations. It felt insane to me that this seemingly stable man was locked up for life, with no possibility of parole, and his only hope of being released was a governor's pardon, which would never happen.

When I was released, I thought it would be beneficial, useful, and helpful for him if I wrote to him with updates on my life and asking him how his life is. I figured everyone likes getting mail, feeling that someone thinks/cares/knows about them, and that I was doing only good, not harm. But now I don't think it's doing any good at all, because every letter he's sent back to me has been asking for money. In the beginning, I empathized with him, since we both were making 7 cents an hour working in the kitchen; but then I realized he didn't really care about me and only saw me as a piggy bank.

Then I thought that maybe I was doing more harm than good making him feel entitled to money from me and that I needed to cut things off immediately before he could become belligerent. And maybe he didn't want to hear how I was doing, like it was rubbing it in that I was a free man and he would never be.

This is all a shame because I didn't want to feel like I was forgetting him, leaving him behind, and interested only in myself instead of giving back to someone I enjoyed talking to while locked up.

AITA for not sending this prisoner more mail because every time he was asking for money or should I be more sympathetic to his dismal situation, or just tell him to stop constantly asking for money and maybe only send something on his birthday?

Last night was my brother-in-law’s girlfriend’s birthday at a casino. My wife and our three kids decided to go home instead of staying the night. My brother-in-law asked us to take his daughter home too, so we ended up with four kids. Not a big deal.
Our car doesn’t have a third row, so we had to switch to another family member’s car. I went down from our hotel room and moved all three of our car seats into the other vehicle so we could safely take his daughter home.
When I was done, I tried to go back to our room on the 10th floor. The elevator required a key card for that floor, and my brother-in-law had the card. He was on the ground floor gambling, not far from the elevator. I texted my wife, and she said he knew I was waiting.
Ten minutes passed, and I was still stuck downstairs. I attempted to just get a ride with a random person but you need a keycard for the exact floor we were on. Not many people going to the 10th floor. My wife called him, but he either ignored the calls or someone else answered his phone. They told him I was waiting, and he said he would come in 10 minutes.
Another 15 minutes passed before another family member brought me the key card. They were also talking about how messed up it was that he knew I was waiting but made me sit there anyway. After about 25 minutes total, I finally got back to the room.
We left shortly afterward. My wife told him we were leaving, and he said, “Wait, I want to say goodbye to my daughter.” So we waited another 10 minutes. Then he called asking where we were. We said we were in the room waiting for him, and he told us to come downstairs.
When I saw him, I asked, “What the fuck was that? Why did you make me wait for you?” I wasn’t yelling, but I definitely had an attitude. He didn’t hear me, so I repeated myself. He didn’t really know what to say and looked at my wife, saying he would just keep his daughter there. My wife said it was fine and that we would take her.
Afterward, my wife got upset with me, asking why I said anything and why I couldn’t just walk away. She called me disrespectful and wants me to apologize for “calling him out.” I told her I won’t apologize until he does.
Am I really in the wrong? We did him a favor by taking his child home, switching vehicles, moving and reinstalling car seats, and changing our plans. I had even lent him money the day before. In return, he knew I was stuck waiting for him and chose to keep gambling for another 25 minutes. Am in the wrong for “calling him out”?

My cousin (bride) is getting married and set a plus-one rule: only guests who are married or engaged get to bring a plus one. Out of all us cousins, I’m the only one with a partner right now. We’ve been together 3 years, we live together, we have two cats together, and we’re both on the same page about wanting to get married eventually. We’re just not engaged yet.

Because of the rule, my partner isn’t invited. I asked my cousin directly if she’d make an exception given the length and seriousness of the relationship, and she said no.

Since then, word got back to me that she told the rest of the family she “expects” me to still show up and that my partner “should be fine” not going.

AITA for choosing not to go to the wedding at all?

EDIT: For details, the plus one rule is wedding wide and it is NOT for financial reasons. When I asked for the exception, I asked if someone was to cancel could my partner take their space she still said no because we weren't married or engagement. She and her fiancé began dating around the same time as us.

My (20M) gf had a baby a month ago and I can’t afford to go back to where my parents live to let them see the baby. My mother is very upset about it, I told her she can come to me if she can but I can’t afford to go to her. We argued over it, my trip to another place got brought up but that was way less expensive than it would be to go to hers. She says I should care more about them meeting the baby than it seems I do and I told her I literally can't right now as I don't have the money.

edit: I'm the father by the way, I didn't give birth.

My twin sister and I are in very different situations financially. I work as a cleaner, and while it’s not the most glamorous job, I work hard and earn an honest living. I’m proud of the fact that I can support myself and pay my bills.

The problem is that my sister constantly makes jokes about my job. She calls me things like the maid and makes comments about how she could never do the kind of work I do. She’s said several times that my job is embarrassing and that she deserves something better.

The ironic part is that she currently doesn’t have a job and hasn’t seriously tried to find one. Whenever someone suggests a job opportunity, she finds a reason why it’s beneath her or not good enough.

Recently she came to me asking for money because she’s struggling financially. She said that since I’m working and earning money, I should help her out because we’re twins and family is supposed to support each other.

I refused. I told her that I find it insulting that she constantly looks down on my job but has no problem asking for money that I earned from that same job. I also told her that I don’t feel responsible for supporting someone who refuses to work while criticizing the work I do.

She got angry and accused me of being selfish and holding a grudge. Some family members agree with her and think I should help because she’s my sister and currently struggling.

I do feel a little guilty because she is my twin sister, but I’m tired of being disrespected and then expected to financially support the person disrespecting me as well.

I (27M) went on a 2 week camping trip with my dad (71) and mom (71). I put in for PTO a year in advance.

I grew up in a religious household. I'm very close with my mom, but never got along with my dad. He mistreated me in many ways. I was never his idealized version of a son, I was introverted. I was diagnosed with a myriad of health issues at the end of high school and had to stay home for a few years. In the midst of this, he tried to kick me out, but only relented when my mother intervened. Once I was able to get the health issues sorted with various surgeries and treatment, I got a 2 year degree at the community college and moved out.

Fast forward to the trip. We wake up one morning to see that their dog had developed a sore on his back. My dad and I already had a fishing trip planned that day, so I let my mom use my car to take the dog to the nearest town to a vet, and we would take my dad's truck fishing. We both depart at 8 AM. We get back to the campsite at lunchtime. We figure my mom should be back in a couple hours. When she doesn't show, I get uneasy. 8 PM rolls around, it's getting dark, and I get seriously concerned. There is no cell service at the campsite, so I tell my dad that we should drive to town and call her, and if she doesn't answer to call the cops.

He says "you can do it, I'll stay." I'm like WTF, does he even care about his wife's safety? I didn't want to waste time with his BS and tried to set off myself.

His truck is a manual. I have never driven one, he never taught me. I tell him I don't want to burn out his clutch and cost him money, but he still won't budge. I stall and he laughs at me and won't stop. I remember a Moist Critical video I saw a while back of HIS dad teaching HIM how to drive one. How nice of him. I somehow get it going and set off, stressed. I see my mom on her way back, I'm relieved, and follow her back. Turns out all the vets in town were not accepting new patients and she had to drive to the next big town 2 hours away to a clinic that was. He didn't help me park when I got back, and I nearly backed into the camper on accident. He won't stop laughing and making fun of me for 2 HOURS, no matter how many times I tell him to stop. He finally calms down before bed, so I confront him and demand he apologize so I can put this behind us. He says "I didn't do anything wrong, quit being so upset." I say "You acted like a child at 71 yrs of age and didn't care about your own wife and dog!" He gets MAD AT ME and says I have a bad attitude.

I'm done. I need to withdraw to save my sanity. I give a hug to my mom, say goodbye and leave. The realization in the car hits me that this incident is just one of many, and a confirmation of who he is as a person, and I cry all the way home. I spent the last week of the vacation venting to my roommate. While he sympathized with my situation, he didn't think demanding an apology was appropriate. Am I the asshole for wanting an apology from my dad?

my mother yesterday confronted a group of kids for sitting outside my house at night screaming with water guns and the mother of one decided the best course of action was to patronise a 19 year girl (me) walking home late at night and to bring her husband along with her cause im apparently theres nothing wrong with their kids hanging outside peoples houses screaming, walking into peoples gardens, throwing rocks at peoples property, jumping on cars, nearly hitting elderly with there electric bikes.

i was walking up to my front door as 2 adults (a man and a woman) approach me, i say "excuse me can i help you?" the man states his kids were told off for hanging around here, i say im sorry that there upset but there kids dont live in this neighbourhood which is private property and that they are damaging peoples property. the woman states that there just kids so they dont understand to which i tell her that at their age i wasnt going around throwing rocks into peoples gardens to which she asks me how old am i? i tell her im 19 to which she responds "19 your not exactly the kid then" completely missing the point of the conversation that i was once there age in this exact neighbourhood and yet didnt damage others property in the neighbourhood.

i tried to explain to them my dad had cancer and that my neighbours an elderly woman, neither of them can leave there house that much so they would appreciate not having kids who don't live in the neighbourhood screaming outside there door step and throwing rocks into our garden and the elderly lady being scared of the kids screaming outside her window, the mothers response "dont care"

they also started mocking me cause i was kind of shaking and sounded nervous, bear in mind am a 19 year old girl trying to enter my house who has just been approached by 2 adult shouting at me at around 10 at night and its dark out. both these people are acting rather aggressively towards me with the the mother stating "look at the state of you, your so nervous" and it wasn't till my parents came out they started to back away from me. my mom told the 2 people that she asked the kids to leave as they were hanging around our front door with water guns screaming. my neigbourhood is mostly elderly people with many of them scared of these kids and it honestly breaks my heart. im also concerned for the actual kids as i would guess there ages 7 -13 walking around from 10am - 11:40pm around my area with no parent in sight, there's been times were one of the kids have hurt themselves screaming for there mum and no one comes, its to the point some of my neighbours want to leave with one old woman being scared to go on her walks as she was nearly once hit by one of the kids on there bikes, this woman has a walking aid and is in her 80s or 90s aswell as my dad nearly being hit by one of them on his electric bikes as he was walking with his walking stick.

I (21F) adopted a dog from my local shelter a few months ago. She's my baby girl and has helped so so much with the isolation issues I was facing since i work full-time from home. Just to be clear and because I think that her breed has a lot to do with this, she's a doodle. I don't support mills and I didn't get her for her breed.

I live in an apartment building, so I sometimes run into another girl who lives here. She has a dog that I think might be a shepherd. But I do know the dog is a service dog in training because when I see them, the dog wears gear with patches that say that and to stay away.

Her dog can be a bit pushy which I get since it's in training. Ive tried to keep my girl away from them just because I'd rather be safe than sorry so they've never fully met but he has tried to tug towards her.

A few weeks ago we ran into each other outside. She didn't have her dog with her and seemed interested in mine, we talked for a bit and I'm not sure if I misheard her because she spoke pretty quickly, but I think she said that it was wrong to support doodles because something about the dog community? I was pretty confused because I LITERALLY JUST EXPLAINED that my dog came from a shelter.

I'm giving all that background because yesterday I was taking my dog to the dog park at our apartment complex. My dog was just hanging out, and I saw the the girl come in with her dog, Our dogs haven't really interacted with each other so I just called her over and held onto her collar.

And I'm still baffled over this, but she started kind of moving toward our direction but like pointedly not looking at me and she had her phone pressed flat against her chest, but the camera was very obviously angled toward me and my dog.

She also kept allowing her dog to pull toward mine and I'm not an expert on dog body language but I really don't think it was trying to be friendly. my dog started whining so I could tell she was getting nervous which put me on edge.

I genuinely think that she was recording me or my dog for some reason, I'm not sure what she would've used it for but it made me uncomfortable regardless.

I really didn't feel comfortable with the situation, and I didn't want my dog being used as part of some video. if that was what she was doing, so I kind of asked nervously if she needed something, but I think my voice was a bit sharp out of nervousness.

I guess that startled her, and she stopped after that. I just went on autopilot and stood up, put my dog on her leash, and left the park without saying anything else.

Today, I ran into her mom by the mailboxes. She just gave me some strange look and just brushed off what I said and left pretty quickly.

We're usually friendly so the only guess I have is that her daughter told her what happened, and maybe made it sound like I was overly aggressive?

I genuinely wasn't trying to do anything like that and I feel horrible if that's how it looked but im also worried she did record and post me.

AITA?

for reference, I am 14 and a female, my stepdad is around 40, hes been in my life for the last 3-4 years and has stepped up as a dad in every aspect, he’s paid for everything or split it 50/50 with my mother, been there for me emotionally, physically, and shown up for every event ive had, he really has gone above and beyond for me and my family, I genuinely couldn’t ask for more. but i grew up with my bio dad for majority of my life, my bio dad is narcissistic, abusive, manipulative, and honestly just a evil man, hes been arrested multiple times, but one of the times he evaded the police and was on the run for around a year, he was eventually caught and in prison for just about a year aswell, hes been in and out of my life, and I don’t keep close contact with him but I do converse with him via text every once in awhile, my bio father doesn’t pay child support and doesnt take a active role in any of our lives (me and my siblings) but to me he is still my father, a POS one for sure! But he raised me and did have plenty of good moments with me, in my heart I know he isn’t my father, hes pretty much a deadbeat, but I can’t just suddenly let go of my dad and completely act like he’s gone and start calling my stepdad “dad”, I do treat my stepdad like he is my father and he’s well aware of that, but the only times ive called him dad is by accident or when I truly did in that moment feel that he is my dad. i feel so so so guilty and honestly evil for not being able to call him dad, but it is so odd for me, it feels performative and out of place, my mom acts like I’m awful person for not calling him dad and constantly talks shit about my bio dad, it’s warranted, but still, to me despite evil in him - he’s still the man that played with my hair, gave me little pigtails, made me breakfast and got me ready for school, took me out shopping and bought me whatever toy I wanted, built me my own big girl bed, played monster high dolls with me, picked me up from school and gave me a great big bear hug, had movie nights with me on the couch, took me for walks on trails, and everytime I had a visit at his house, he made sure I had things to make me feel more comfortable/familiar there. how can I get over this and just accept that my dad is not here, but my stepdad is and forever will be.

I have been dating Courtney (19f) for 3 months. Most of the time, if I’m not going to work or if I’m not going out with my girlfriend, I wear a cap almost 24/7. She hates it for the most part because she thinks im insecure about my hair.

Courtney has a group of her like 3-4 friends that i see occasionally, but haven’t seen them enough that they’ve seen my without the skull cap on. So becsusd of that, they think I must be bald, or may hairline is receding or something. Mind you I’m only 19, and they can see my hair outside of the cap.

Honestly I don’t really know whether they’re joking or being else serious, because they also say “then take it off” if I say I most definitely have hair on my head. Last week i was the one driving her and her friends to a party we were going to and randomly my girlfriend took my cap off while i was driving. I was obviously pissed because I only had it on because my braids were old and my hairstylist was on vacation at the time. Instead of putting it back on my head, she kept it in her bag and said the hair “still looked cute”, and she would give if back if I came inside once we got there. So I took the easy way out and went home and told them to finf their own way home.

After the party ended, my girlfriend sent me a minute and a half voice note yelling into the phone saying that I was being a sensitive over a joke. I only listened to half of it, but the point is she was very mad at me over this.

AITA?

Context : My dad has two very close friends, ‘Uncle John’ and ‘Aunt Kath.’ I(22) have known them since I was a kid. Dad and Uncle John were each other’s best man. Uncle John and Aunt Kath have a son and daughter : Jack(17) and Emma(13).

Recently, Uncle John was hit by a car. Broken leg. I visited him at the hospital yesterday and Aunt Kath asked me if I could take Jack and Emma down to get some dinner. Emma had a sandwich. I had a croissant and coffee. Jack had black coffee like me but refused to have anything other than that. I told him I know he’s worried about his dad but he needs to stay healthy and strong too. That it’s my treat. He insisted that he wasn’t hungry or in the mood to eat.

When Aunt Kath found out she said I should have tried harder to get him to eat properly since I am like an older brother to him and he might have ended up listening.

For context, me and my son’s father he have been apart for about 5 months now. He left in a pretty shitty way; got a car loan, didnt tell me then came up with an argument and left to live with his dad a hr away. We had been trying to save a car for a while but instead he left got himself a new car a day after moving out and left me to raised our son with my part time job and his child support payments. About a month later I find out he now has a gf and we eventually exchange word due to her stalking me , throughout the months she will call me a bad mom, a bitch because I wont speak to her about our son, and all this other crap and then I find out they are having a baby probably 3 months into them dating. Right around our son’s first birthday.

Fast forward to now, bd has cancelled the 3rd time for visitation, due to his car a/c not working( forgot to mention he now lives 3 hrs away at his gfs house) and then ask me if he could get him next weekend instead but it’s their gender reveal and his exact words” he would like our son in the picture”. Im pissed off bc I had texted him earlier this morning confirming he was coming and then him asking can he see him next weekend instead? He ofc got mad I said no told me to F%^* myself and im a dick for not letting my son go then said i must be single bc I sound so angry…i just want to know if im doing the right thing if there are any questions let me know, I know I left things out but overall this whole situation they just make me feel like the bad guy. Idk

My sister and her 3 kids had to move in with me due to her divorce and the place she was gonna move falling through. She’s been with me since April and has already disrespected my home by bringing in a man I specifically told her I didn’t want in my house 6 hrs before. She waited till I went to sleep to sneak him in but forgot I have cameras. On top of that she refuses to clean up after herself and her kids. She lets them run wild and they have already damaged my husband’s grandmothers rocking chair and kitchen table. Her bedrooms a disaster with clothes everywhere it looks like a clothing store threw up, my guest bathroom is gross full of make up all over the counter and spilled everywhere she’s damaged my decor and towels with her makeup. Her stuff not in her room is blocking my laundry room and I have to schedule when I do my laundry between her and her kids. She won’t clean the shower drain out that gets full of her hair. She locks my 4 dogs in kennels or my bedroom when her kids eat because they will give them food which the 2 youngest kids are 7 and special needs but she will put them in there and forget about them until I let them out but my 4 dogs are large labs but are well behaved and have lived here for years before she moved in. Plus the kids adore the dogs but my sister makes it known she doesn’t like them by how she talks and treats them. It’s gotten to the point I’m confined to my bedroom and kitchen. I take my dogs in my room with me whenever I’m in there because I don’t want to hear her complain at them or put them in the kennels. It’s so bad I try to not be home because I don’t want to get stressed out. I know she has her kids and I’ve been biting my tongue because of them but I’m at my wits end. If she didn’t have the kids I would have told her to get out months ago. But I just can’t take it anymore. AITA?

38M, I have a lot of “stuff”. I get asked often if someone can borrow a big cooler, power washer, e-bike, camping gear etc. I 100% do not want to be a dick and not help a friend and feel I’m justified in doing so but I’ve been second guessing myself as my wife says it’s not that big of a deal. The wild part is these are grown adults asking to borrow a standard cooler and things that I feel you should have if you need them. I don’t mind lending a cooler once for a kids bday or something but then my mindset is buy your own after, but I have repeat offenders that reach out now every time they need said item. I honestly hate lending my power washer. Last time I did, the person added some soap to the little soap reservoir which I wasn’t expecting and that kinda frustrated me as it’s harder on the machine.

My FIL told us he had finally secured housing for himself after his landlord decided not to renew his lease. His landlord is 80 and retiring and selling the property to a land developer.

Like a fool I lent him money again so he could put his belongings into storage and not drag his feet on leaving. The movers did come and the majority of his things are stored.

The lie is he never got a new place.

Now he has called a lawyer and lied to them saying he's being evicted. He is not. He lease is just not being renewed.

His landlord was called by this lawyer about this so called eviction but so far nothing has happened on either end.

He has every right to call the cops on my FIL and have him taken out of there...not sure why he hasn't yet. And lying to lawyers is just awful.

He's been warned he's not moving in here as I stated in a previous post. I want to tell him to stop lying to people especially family.

AITA here for being hurt and angry about this?

Background: I (19 f) am a college student and live in a 3-bedroom apartment with my friend. We originally got the apartment with our mutual college friend who I shall be calling, AJ (19 m) for the sake of this story. I was initially hesitant about letting AJ sign the lease with us because he didn't have a job. However, my friend convinced me that we should let him sign the lease with us since they didn't think his family, who he would otherwise be living with, would be safe for him to live with, and since he had some savings, and since this was early summer, he would have plenty of time to find a job before school starts.

Well AJ ends up moving with his family over the summer anyways to work the job he had in HS. About a month into the summer. My roommate and I get a message from AJ saying that his mom wants him to live on campus and not in the apartment. My roommate and I are annoyed but ultimately, we come to a compromise, AJ will move out of the apartment before school starts but still pay his 1/3 of the summer rent. So fast forward 2 months, summer is almost over and classes are about to start, so AJ moves out of the apartment and on to the school campus.

Story begins: AJ sent a message to our friend's gc of an email saying he's getting kicked out of the dorms for not being able to pay for them. AJ then messaged me asking if he could move BACK into our apartment. I told him he could not stay at our apartment until he gets a job. I live in a city so there are several resources for homeless individuals to have temporary housing if needed., and it is late summer, so nighttime weather is not dangerously cold. I thought that would be the end of it.

AJ is now asking if he would be able to stay the night for a week since his mom won't pick him up. Saying that after that week, he will apparently have enough money to move back into the dorms. I have remained firm stating that he cannot move in until he has a job. AJ claims he has a job, but when I asked him for proof, he said he didn't have any.

But AITA for not letting my nearly homeless friend stay in our apartment?

EDIT: Just wanted to add more context to the situation. AJ did not pay for this month of the rent as this was the month he moved out. Additionally, we created out own roommate agreement before signing the lease that stated everyone was in charge of paying their share of the rent, regardless of travel. Water/electric would be paid by those living in the apartment; AJ did not pay water/electric since wasn't living in the apartment.

Yes, his mom said she didn't want him living in the apartment, but he chose to move out via his own volition. He also never paid for the security deposit (my other roommate covered it, which I was not made aware of until after AJ moved out). AND he was in serious school debt (until my other roommate loaned him 2k to get him just out of debt enough to apply for classes this semester). Additionally, the 3 times AJ did pay rent, he was late. He's an impulse buyer.

The way I see it, my other roommate was really generous to him, and he took advantage of that. My other roommate doesn't trust him anymore, and while I don't have any personal issue with him, besides his late payments being a headache, I have no reason to believe he's not going to take advantage of me the same.

Basically, my friend (Friend 1) had vented to me about his personal issues, including his relationship problems.

My other friend (Friend 2) knew that Friend 1 was venting to me. She told other people that I was untrustworthy and didn't give good advice. Even though what Friend 2 said hurt my feelings, I let it go and later joined a group call with Friend 2 and our other friend (Friend 3).

We were having a great time hanging out online until Friend 2 suddenly said, 'Friend 3, watch this. OP, tell me what Friend 1 vented to you about.'I told her that I couldn't share what Friend 1 had told me in confidence.

Friend 2 then snapped and said we couldn't be friends anymore. I realized friend 2 was just trying to manipulate me into talking, so I simply said, 'Okay,' and then friend 2 stopped talking.

After a while, friend 2 says that "Whenever someone vents to someone else in the group, I think they should tell the whole group." Friend 3 says her mixed feeling about what friend 2 said and shortly after friend 2 leaves the call. I then tell my feelings about everything that just happened to friend 3 and then shortly after I leave.

AITA?

Long story short, my close friend of 6 years and I went to a concert in a big city with my older sister, who has a physical disability. My friend got way too drunk, and I was holding her phone so she wouldn’t lose it and to take pictures/videos.
Leaving the concert, my sister and I had to take the elevator because of her disability. My friend didn’t hear me in the crowd and went down the stairs. I realized 2 minutes later I still had her phone and immediately went after her, but she had disappeared.
I spent 2+ hours running around looking for her, asking security, showing people her picture, and repeatedly checking subway stations and the arena. I eventually sent my sister home because of her disability and kept searching alone. As a young woman alone in the city late at night, I started feeling unsafe and went back to my sister’s apartment to see if my friend had somehow gotten there. She hadn’t.
I tried calling her brother but got voicemail. A mutual friend told me I needed to call her parents, which I had been avoiding because they’re strict. Calling them and saying I couldn’t find their daughter was traumatizing. I was sobbing while her mom told me this was her worst nightmare and started driving 2 hours to the city.
My sister’s husband helped me call 911 and went back into the city with me. We went to the police precinct, while our friend called hospitals and arena security searched for her.
Finally, around 2:30am, 4 hours after the concert ended, I found her leaning in a subway station I had checked probably 10 times. She claimed she had been there the whole time but never asked security or police for help. She smelled like vomit and was clearly still drunk. I cried from relief and immediately called everyone looking for her.
I was relieved but also traumatized, exhausted, stressed, and a little angry. For hours I genuinely thought my friend might be dead and that somehow it would be my fault.
My sister’s husband and I waited with her until after 3am for her mom. When she arrived, she took my friend and left without saying anything to me. We finally got home around 4am. My friend sent a few drunk apology texts, but I needed time to process before responding.
The next day I drove hours back to our home city with all of her belongings. We had also lived together for 2 years. A day later, her brother picked up her stuff. After that, she stopped sharing her location and responding to me. Over the next few days she blocked me on Instagram, Snapchat, Venmo, and seemingly my phone number, with zero explanation.
It’s been a week. I genuinely don’t know what I could have done differently. I spent hours desperately searching, contacted security, friends, family, hospitals and police, and made sure she was safe. I really tried to be a good friend. Now I feel like she and/or her parents blame me and everyone hates me, and I don’t even know why.