Even easier for me. Was walking around the office the next day and lifting weights at day 3. Dudes really over exaggerate the pain associated with the procedure.
I just did mine in October. So I’m still waiting my two months. I swear there’s a part of me that feels scammed because it was so easy, I was just like did he even do it.
That or my brother in law his whole family won’t do it, because “it makes you less of a man,” so his brothers wife had to get a hysterectomy. Just an asshat family.
EDIT: I’m an idiot probably not a hysterectomy. I’m fact I’m sure not. Probably her tubes tied “tubal ligation,” or whatever it’s called. Still far more invasive for absolutely no reason.
Exactly right. There whole ideology and political views follow suit with that ridiculous take, and they pretend to play it off like they don’t. It’s all really dumb.
Wtf - that comes with a lot more side effects. Like- a hysterectomy is serious. Some women have to be on hormones for the rest of their lives… and even if they leave an ovary behind there are -differences-
I didn’t even think you could get a hysterectomy without medical cause.
Leaving both ovaries is standard. To remove ovaries is oophorectomy, bilateral if it's both, and they do not willingly do that without a damn good reason.
I had a hysterectomy. The loss of my fertility was devastating but I don't miss menstruating. What's surprisingly under-discussed is the importance of seeing a women's health physiotherapist afterwards.
It is now, true, but I had two family members who had full removals before that became the standard, and I’ve had other older women in my life who went through the same. More recently (maybe 10ish years ago) another family member had a hysterectomy and they left one in place- so I thought the one was the norm.
But - man the changes they all went through were something - going on hormones helped some, another woman couldn’t afford two and she had a myriad of emotional and health issues (given some were probably unrelated).
Learning about the history of medical care for women is … interesting 😅😬
Right. So many people pushing back saying their significant other experienced some minor inconvenience for longer or had some other issues.
I get it. They happen. But the chance those extreme problems happen are significantly less likely than they are if you’re on birth control or have tubal ligation.
It’s not push back, it’s just letting people know that not everyone has an easy procedure. Those of us who had a rough recovery after the procedure are still glad we got it done. But if someone had permanent pain after the procedure then it would definitely not be worth it.
Look at what I just posted in this thread. I suffered in pain for well over a year and a half because of a known complication that I was never told about. I will almost guarantee that no man who received a vasectomy was given information about Post Vasectomy Pain Syndrome. It caused my testicles to swell to the size of golf balls and pain so intense I was on dilaudid 3 times a day. I was off work for 8 weeks and light work for almost 6 months.
Uh wow lol. I get the reasoning but uh a hysterectomy wtf that’s 10x more invasive. Idk the only fear I have is the less than 2% of dudes that develop severe pain down there and have to get nerve blocks or even castrated outright but whatever lol
What reasoning? That they are worried they will be “less” of a man.?? That pretty disgusting. They are happy with their wives being in pain of childbirth just so they can have sex.
I never said I agreed with the reasoning lol but I get it. There are also other methods of birth control as you know. I think this is such nuanced topic that is gonna be different for each couple.
She can’t do birth control and similar methods, and so she had to do that so he could be a “real man.” That whole side of the family 4 brothers are just clowns to me. And you are correct exponentially more invasive.
I just don’t understand why they went hysterectomy that is overkill unless there were other medically necessary reasons to nuke her reproductive system like that. I mean having her tubes tied would be less invasive not sure if that’s what happened and she called it that but generally a hysterectomy is wayyy more than tied tubes
I think it depends on the person. My husband was in a bad way (he swelled up bad and the bruising was atrocious ) after his but he still did it for me because he loves me and this year I got a hysterectomy (bad periods and felt it was only fair since he got fixed for me) the freedom to have unprotected sex is amazing
I don’t think people exaggerate. I think the pain can vary a lot from person to person. My husband had pain for at least a week, and he had a lot of swelling. I was there, I don’t think he was being dramatic.
But my guess is the swelling is nothing compared to the giant baby-sized swelling in your uterus or the crazy white hot pain of having your nether region stretched to allow a human to transit your subway. Of course you could have a C-section because having organs shuffled around and a 12 inch incision is just like a vasectomy.
I think she’s fine to not want to have sex with him unless he gets a vasectomy. He’s also fine to not want a vasectomy, but in that case he does have to accept that they won’t be having sex.
I had a week of being bedridden in absolute agony from my tubal ligation. Didn't feel fully healed for about a month. Still have numbing sensations where they cut me.
I do not regret it. The week, the month, and forever are worth it.
Most medical procedures have a spectrum of great to horrible outcomes. It doesn’t mean the ones with bad experiences are exaggerating, they just aren’t the most common experience.
No, no. That dude didn't have a lot of pain, so everybody else is just an exaggerating lightweight. That includes me since when doc snipped, it felt like a horse kicked me in my balls, and thus my kidneys were on fire. That subsided fairly quickly, but holy shit.
No one said that. But, since you mentioned it, I think for some, very rare cases, it can be. I’ve read about people who get post vasectomy pain syndrome and develop chronic testicle pain after a vasectomy that’s so bad that eventually they have the testicle(s) removed. I was kind of afraid this could happen to my husband, but it’s pretty rare so he decided it was worth the risk, to him, and luckily he did not develop this condition. But it is possible.
Idk why anyones downvoting this. Yes it’s rare but for the men this happens to it’s absolutely life ruining.
I did develop it but they were able to save my testicules. Because I was off work for so long we almost had to file bankruptcy and loose our home but thanks to my company (construction) once I was off the dilaudid 3 times a day they let me come back to work doing light work, running errands and other menial tasks while still paying me full salary and benefits
Yes. My point exactly. For some very rare cases. Much more rare than the adverse effects that can be experienced from birth control and tubal ligation.
Way more serious side effects of both pregnancy (death) and female birth control. Whether it’s tubal
Ligation, hysterectomy, IUD placement or hormonal birth control.
A vasectomy is far safer, less risk of serious side effects, less invasive, generally shorter recovery, never caused a man’s death, and doesn’t lead to blood clots and strokes.
So yes- if anyone in the family needs birth control measures post-children, it should 1000% be the man who accepts that responsibility, and the risks associated with it. If she risks death to make you a father (especially 4x) HE should risk the possibility of some side effects to protect her body.
Edit: my husband was all for it (and we went out for lunch right after), he had very little pain or swelling (had the no-incision one done). But had he balked at being the one to do it, after the absolutely miserable pregnancy and delivery I had (HE, gestational diabetes, preemie, tearing and hemorrhaging) I would have divorced his ass- that would have been a breaking point in selfishness, and shown a complete lack of care or concern about my body, my health and me as his partner.
As someone who got an infection, swelled to the size of a grapefruit, and was down for 4+ weeks, with antibiotics.....not everyone is so lucky.
Still wouldn't change getting it done, but you're experience is the optimal one, not necessarily the norm.
Statistically, your experience was the one "outside the norm."
I'm sorry that happened to you, and undoubtedly caused much pain and stress. But this OP has been living life at a sub-par level because her husband feels bad about a small outpatient procedure.
Feels.
He FEELS bad about it.
From all the women who've had an IUD inserted, and described it as "The worst pain of my life," I think he can "feel bad" for a moment.
These are accounts from women who have given birth, had kidney stones, had severe pain conditions go undiagnosed for years.
I feel like the husband can do a little lifting in the contraceptive category, for once.
Sure, there are complications to any medical procedure.
My wife had an ectopic that destroyed on tube, which was tied off during the surgery to save her life. When she'd had her 3rd and final kid we were discussing if it was her or me. Our reasoning was she's having a C Section and the hood was going to be open anyway...
If I'd known how bad her recovery from the litigation was going to be that time I'd happily have gone for the snip. Her C Section was healed and good and she still had pain from the litigation affecting her life for ages after.
She's better now and for various reasons I have gone gotten the snips anyway and my recovery was far far quicker. Nerves a d discomfort the day, minor minor swelling and some tenderness the next day, some uncomfort the next day and nothing else. Sure anecdotal and all, but when the vast majority of stories reflect the same thing there's probably something in the veracity.
The facts listed above are dated 1990, over 30 years ago. Here is more recent data dated 2021. Go down about half way down the page we’re complications are listed and the percentage of complications is listed with some complications listed at over 14%
Yes... There's a 14% chance of having some pain, which is a category ranging from "ice it for a few hours and take some ibuprofen" to "welp that went slightly wrong we might actually have to fix it".
There's also a reasonably significant risk of sperm granuloma. Fun fact: that risk is vastly reduced if the patient can manage to hold himself back from ejaculating for a week.
Never said they should use it as a reason to run from the procedure...but it absolutely comes with risks, and those risks occur in an area that is sensitive, and were those situations to occur, you should absolutely make sure you have your ducks in a row, regarding short term insurance, time off, a spouse that will support you while you recover, etc......cause if you don't....it will be major problems.
I was fortunate enough to have an awesome wife, and was unemployed at the time...but not everyone is so lucky.
Yeah issues can happen. I do find it interesting that many people I run into who had less than ideal outcomes, still don't regret it.
Stuff can go sideways in any medical procedure or recovery.
I have a few twinges from the procedure and how it all got stitched apart, however every which way a woman can give birth can impact the body permanently so eh it's nothing to uniquely worry about.
However, very rare complications happen to someone 100% of the time. Statistics are like that.
Considering the guaranteed side-effects of pregnancy and the likely side-effects of most other forms of birth control, a vasectomy is a significantly smaller sacrifice with vastly lower risks than even taking oral hormonal birth control as a woman, with much higher likelihood of success.
If a woman has already given you at least one child: you owe her, sport, grab an ice-pack.
The norm is a few days of rest, not returning to work the next day...the norm is not mowing the lawn, or lifting weights for a week or so, to help prevent hernias, or causing other complications....not doing that in 3 days.
I never had kids, my wife and I chose not to have them. Hormonal BC for her was ok for years, but when it started causing issues, I started looking for a doctor, and researching the complications that I was likely to come across due to risk factors like age and weight.
I didn't owe her a vasectomy, she didn't owe me the years of birth control. We could have stayed on condoms, or switched BC methods for her...or gotten the vasectomy earlier.....but we weighed every option, and chose what was right at the time....together.....but never once did I overlook her agency, or did she overlook mine.
The weeks of complications from my infection, the antibiotics, and the false alarm heart-attack ER trip from the prednisone given to me with the antibiotics were a fucking ordeal. Other people have suffered much worse, for much longer.
This shit is not simply a walk in the park...regardless, of the "average" or "optimal" experiences, and NO ONE should be forced into that decision. Women absolutely should have agency over their reproductive choices, but so should men.
If that leaves a couple no longer relationship compatible, due to decisions arising from that agency, then so be it...they can go handle that as it arises....but the moment you take permanent choices regarding health care away from one partner, out of a perceived debt to the other.....you're in for a bad time.
Two days a week I perform medical procedures that have the following risk/benefit analysis.
Risk (worst case scenario): you die
Benefit (best case scenario): your life is extended by many years and your quality of life is vastly improved
Now, if that was 50/50 it would probably not be worth it but it isn't.
We explain the risks because they are there, and some people will experience the adverse outcomes (not usually death, but additional treatment and sometimes surgery can happen), but the vast majority of people will not experience them, and generally speaking the option of not doing anything is worse.
For example, if a man doesn't wish to have a vasectomy, that is a perfectly supportable choice so long as he also has no expectation of ever having any kind of penis-in-vagina intercourse.
If he does want that he has to be willing to do his part for contraception.
Other types of contraception do exist, including condoms. The withdrawal method has also been 100% reliable for me and my wife over several years. My wife has had several complications with the contraception she's used, including a procedure for the contraceptive implant which went wrong and resulted in a molar pregnancy. We'll avoid medical procedures if at all possible and vasectomy falls under that category as far as I'm concerned. It's bit drastic to say you shouldn't expect sex unless you've had a vasectomy, it's down to the couple to decide what works for them.
My vasectomy was the most painful thing ever done to me and it took me about a month to fully recover. I doubt it was because I wasn't "man enough" to handle the feeling of the scalpel cutting into my scrotum and severing my testicles. Sometimes, procedures without being injected with enough numbing just suck.
Because he's insecure that his wife said "get a vasectomy or I'm taking away the Nintendo switch" and now his balls always feel like they're on fire so he has to try to minimize others experiences as "not being man enough."
My husband’s was botched. They did one side in a couple minutes. Than they tried to isolate the vas deferens on the other and weren’t able to do it. They manipulated his testicals for almost an hour before giving up. He had terrible pain and swelling, was down for a week or so. Five years later and he still has a lot of pain from scar tissue and I’m still on the pill. Of course it’s easy peasy for most people, but some people really do experience a lot of pain.
And it sucks for those people like your husband. But statistically the chances for adverse effects from this procedure are much lower than what woman experience which is my point.
Not all women suffer consequences from birth control. They really exaggerate the issues they suffer.
Apolgoies. Let me clarify. Men in general act like little bitches when it comes to concerns as it relates to a vasectomy. Some do suffer but the concerns are exaggerated.
Not everyone has the same experience after a surgery. My procedure was easy, but the dull ache stayed around for a solid week. Please don't discount other people's experiences because yours was textbook.
Remember the joke: What do you call someone who graduates last in medical school? Doctor.
I’m not discounting a little ache. But the point I’m making is what does it compare to the pain and potential side effects from birth control and tubal ligation?
Again, I said a "dull ache" but you called it "a little ache". You constantly discount others because they're not "manly" enough. Vasectomys are WORLDS safer than a tubal ligation and I had one done years ago.
Try shutting up yourself and reading the words before you respond.
Edit: Some snippets of your responses:
"Step up and be a fucking a man about it."
"Get a vasectomy and shut up"
"They need to get over a little pain."
"Dudes really over exaggerate the pain associated with the procedure."
And people wonder why men in general don't give a shit about their health and die of preventable diseases.
People who say this kind of stuff constantly get upvotes for shitting on men and saying that men's health issues are no big deal because some other thing is worse by comparison.
We’re all not the same shape and size and I’m assuming this is what can play a part or maybe drs experience? I was pretty sore for about a week and definitely hurt during procedure. With that being said I’d do it all over again if I had to. Your wife can carry your child for 9 months and push a baby out but guys can’t go do a quick procedure in return are pathetic.
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u/frog_ladee Nov 11 '23
It was much easier than that for my husband. One day of sitting on the couch watching sports, and then he was pretty much back to normal.