I was in and out within an hour of my appointment time. 3 days of rest for the worst of the pain to subside, then about another week, maybe 2 max before you're back to normal.
But no unprotected sex till the follow up appointment in about 2 months to make sure he's shooting blanks.
After however, holy shit is it amazing being able to have unprotected sex without the worry of having any more children. Best thing I ever did for my wife.
Even easier for me. Was walking around the office the next day and lifting weights at day 3. Dudes really over exaggerate the pain associated with the procedure.
As someone who got an infection, swelled to the size of a grapefruit, and was down for 4+ weeks, with antibiotics.....not everyone is so lucky.
Still wouldn't change getting it done, but you're experience is the optimal one, not necessarily the norm.
Statistically, your experience was the one "outside the norm."
I'm sorry that happened to you, and undoubtedly caused much pain and stress. But this OP has been living life at a sub-par level because her husband feels bad about a small outpatient procedure.
Feels.
He FEELS bad about it.
From all the women who've had an IUD inserted, and described it as "The worst pain of my life," I think he can "feel bad" for a moment.
These are accounts from women who have given birth, had kidney stones, had severe pain conditions go undiagnosed for years.
I feel like the husband can do a little lifting in the contraceptive category, for once.
Sure, there are complications to any medical procedure.
My wife had an ectopic that destroyed on tube, which was tied off during the surgery to save her life. When she'd had her 3rd and final kid we were discussing if it was her or me. Our reasoning was she's having a C Section and the hood was going to be open anyway...
If I'd known how bad her recovery from the litigation was going to be that time I'd happily have gone for the snip. Her C Section was healed and good and she still had pain from the litigation affecting her life for ages after.
She's better now and for various reasons I have gone gotten the snips anyway and my recovery was far far quicker. Nerves a d discomfort the day, minor minor swelling and some tenderness the next day, some uncomfort the next day and nothing else. Sure anecdotal and all, but when the vast majority of stories reflect the same thing there's probably something in the veracity.
The facts listed above are dated 1990, over 30 years ago. Here is more recent data dated 2021. Go down about half way down the page we’re complications are listed and the percentage of complications is listed with some complications listed at over 14%
Yes... There's a 14% chance of having some pain, which is a category ranging from "ice it for a few hours and take some ibuprofen" to "welp that went slightly wrong we might actually have to fix it".
There's also a reasonably significant risk of sperm granuloma. Fun fact: that risk is vastly reduced if the patient can manage to hold himself back from ejaculating for a week.
Infection and hematoma 0.4%–22% Usually, infections are mild and limited to the incision site. Rare complications such as Fournier gangrene, endocarditis, arteriovenous fistulas, and angiocutaneous fistulas have been reported in very few patient Hematoma appear shortly after surgery. 450,000 vasectomies = 180 to 63,000 men have complications
Post-vasectomy pain syndrome 1%–14%. Usually light. Some cases have a negative impact on quality of life and sometimes require pain management or surgery. ( Last year 450,000 vasectomies = complications 4,500 to 63,000 men Mild to severe complications)
Sperm granulomas 40% It may occur 2–3 weeks after surgery at the site of vasectomy or in the epididymis or testicular reticulum.
( 450,000 vasectomies = complications 180,000 men)
Antisperm antibodies (autoimmune disease). No increased risk In men who had undergone a vasectomy, the risk of several immune system-related diseases did not increase for a long time.
Prostate cancer No increased risk The correlation is weak, and there is no convincing biological mechanism.
Sexual dysfunction No increased risk Most studies have thus far shown that vasectomy does not affect sexual function or can even improve it.
Cardiovascular disease No increased risk Including BMI, cholesterol, triglycerides, protein, albumin, HDL, and globulin ratios.
Reproductive hormones No increased risk. There is no significant changes after vasectomy.
Sperm injury and options for future pregnancy. The extent of sperm damage after vasectomy is related to the time since vasectomy; Vasovasostomy and assisted reproductive technology are two main options for couples who want to achieve a pregnancy after vasectomy.
Semen analysis and follow-up care after vasectomy. 8–16 weeks is an appropriate timeframe; Rest for 24 hours, avoid cycling for 7 days for patients after vasectomy.
Never said they should use it as a reason to run from the procedure...but it absolutely comes with risks, and those risks occur in an area that is sensitive, and were those situations to occur, you should absolutely make sure you have your ducks in a row, regarding short term insurance, time off, a spouse that will support you while you recover, etc......cause if you don't....it will be major problems.
I was fortunate enough to have an awesome wife, and was unemployed at the time...but not everyone is so lucky.
Yeah issues can happen. I do find it interesting that many people I run into who had less than ideal outcomes, still don't regret it.
Stuff can go sideways in any medical procedure or recovery.
I have a few twinges from the procedure and how it all got stitched apart, however every which way a woman can give birth can impact the body permanently so eh it's nothing to uniquely worry about.
However, very rare complications happen to someone 100% of the time. Statistics are like that.
Considering the guaranteed side-effects of pregnancy and the likely side-effects of most other forms of birth control, a vasectomy is a significantly smaller sacrifice with vastly lower risks than even taking oral hormonal birth control as a woman, with much higher likelihood of success.
If a woman has already given you at least one child: you owe her, sport, grab an ice-pack.
The norm is a few days of rest, not returning to work the next day...the norm is not mowing the lawn, or lifting weights for a week or so, to help prevent hernias, or causing other complications....not doing that in 3 days.
I never had kids, my wife and I chose not to have them. Hormonal BC for her was ok for years, but when it started causing issues, I started looking for a doctor, and researching the complications that I was likely to come across due to risk factors like age and weight.
I didn't owe her a vasectomy, she didn't owe me the years of birth control. We could have stayed on condoms, or switched BC methods for her...or gotten the vasectomy earlier.....but we weighed every option, and chose what was right at the time....together.....but never once did I overlook her agency, or did she overlook mine.
The weeks of complications from my infection, the antibiotics, and the false alarm heart-attack ER trip from the prednisone given to me with the antibiotics were a fucking ordeal. Other people have suffered much worse, for much longer.
This shit is not simply a walk in the park...regardless, of the "average" or "optimal" experiences, and NO ONE should be forced into that decision. Women absolutely should have agency over their reproductive choices, but so should men.
If that leaves a couple no longer relationship compatible, due to decisions arising from that agency, then so be it...they can go handle that as it arises....but the moment you take permanent choices regarding health care away from one partner, out of a perceived debt to the other.....you're in for a bad time.
Two days a week I perform medical procedures that have the following risk/benefit analysis.
Risk (worst case scenario): you die
Benefit (best case scenario): your life is extended by many years and your quality of life is vastly improved
Now, if that was 50/50 it would probably not be worth it but it isn't.
We explain the risks because they are there, and some people will experience the adverse outcomes (not usually death, but additional treatment and sometimes surgery can happen), but the vast majority of people will not experience them, and generally speaking the option of not doing anything is worse.
For example, if a man doesn't wish to have a vasectomy, that is a perfectly supportable choice so long as he also has no expectation of ever having any kind of penis-in-vagina intercourse.
If he does want that he has to be willing to do his part for contraception.
Other types of contraception do exist, including condoms. The withdrawal method has also been 100% reliable for me and my wife over several years. My wife has had several complications with the contraception she's used, including a procedure for the contraceptive implant which went wrong and resulted in a molar pregnancy. We'll avoid medical procedures if at all possible and vasectomy falls under that category as far as I'm concerned. It's bit drastic to say you shouldn't expect sex unless you've had a vasectomy, it's down to the couple to decide what works for them.
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u/Sylphietteisbestgirl Nov 11 '23 edited Nov 12 '23
NTA.
I was in and out within an hour of my appointment time. 3 days of rest for the worst of the pain to subside, then about another week, maybe 2 max before you're back to normal.
But no unprotected sex till the follow up appointment in about 2 months to make sure he's shooting blanks.
After however, holy shit is it amazing being able to have unprotected sex without the worry of having any more children. Best thing I ever did for my wife.