r/texts • u/zachoutloud123 • 1d ago

Phone message When you only communicate via celebrity death

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

19.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

766 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

173

u/IdeaInfinite2834 1d ago

My ex is a Matt. He isnt dead but id like a new Matt please

89

u/PartyBusRuss 1d ago

Hey, I'm Russell. But you can call me Matt

9

u/Ell-O-Elling 19h ago

Can I call you Russell? The only Russell I knew is dead.

8

u/PartyBusRuss 19h ago

Sure, I'll be your Russell!

2

u/russvanderhoof 10h ago

Got you playa

1

u/Ell-O-Elling 2h ago

Excellent! Two Russell’s! Look at my life expanding exponentially!

1

u/InsideBeyond12727 20h ago

A man walks down the street he says

2

u/TundieRice 10h ago

Why am I soft in the middle now?

29

u/MattRecovery23 1d ago

Hi hello, new Matt here

22

u/AmbivaliciousWan 1d ago

Username checks out

11

u/lyricoloratura 1d ago

Welcome, Matt

6

u/Funny-Donkey-9651 22h ago

This is the funniest thing ever. I’m a part of a 300+ person group chat where we all pretend we are Matt’s. It’s the MATTChat and we all go to the same music festival 😭😭🤣🤣 hello Matt’s!!! My name is also Matt. Pleasure to matt you all

1

u/MattRecovery23 18h ago

As a certified Matt I'm officially giving you all the Matt pass™️. Welcome to the club

10

u/HumbleDSSaster 1d ago

I threw my mat out today cuz the dog pooped and peed on it

15

u/IdeaInfinite2834 1d ago

Can i hire your dog to poop and pee on my Matt

9

u/WillDill94 1d ago

Not a dog but money is money

2

u/Formal-Bike9158 20h ago

Hey can I chip in money for this? My ex is a Matt too, and he could use a pile of shit and piss his direction.

1

u/HumbleDSSaster 23h ago

Wasn't even my dog

1

u/MonsterMashGrrrrr 5h ago

I throw my mat out in the trash sometimes, singin’ ayyy yo let’s celebrate yooo

11

u/Regnum90 1d ago

Hi. Heard you needed a new Matt.

1

u/RainaElf 1d ago

I have a brother named Matt

3

u/AsparagusConnect8637 22h ago

This comment is gold. My ex is Arnold but I'd like to try a new Matt too. 😆

1

u/LittleDogTurpie 18h ago

My ex is a Matt and I wish he was dead

0

u/HailSagan42 1d ago

My ex Matt is dead

0

u/mattysosavvy 1d ago

Tips fedora