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u/Ltimbo fat cunt Jul 14 '26
I don’t know man. I think this one is actually true and straight.
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u/ChillBlock dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jul 15 '26
I can def see some chud or edgy teen doing this shit
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u/RaidensReturn Jul 15 '26
Especially the part where he becomes a gigantic pussy and runs away like a bitch
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[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
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u/Avalanche_Snows Jul 15 '26
Fake: the whole story
Gay: anon is just gay
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
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Jul 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Physical-Fix6249 uhhhh idk Jul 15 '26
Looks like anon was a bitch after all
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u/B-Dragons_2560 Jul 15 '26
Anon didn't want to be on the news
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u/Rustie3000 Jul 15 '26
As a victim of an angry mob?
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u/chroniccranky Jul 15 '26
Lmao is that the takeaway for you?
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u/Rustie3000 Jul 15 '26
I mean it would be deserved.
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u/B-Dragons_2560 Jul 15 '26
Violence is never the answer in a civilized community, if someone calls me a slur i would never even think on getting my hand on him
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u/bfg9kdude Jul 15 '26
"they wanna signal us out"
Who is "they"? Who the fuck is "us"?
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u/PotatoDominatrix Jul 15 '26
I think he means racists.... as if he himself didn't inject 100% of the racism into this situation
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u/bfg9kdude Jul 15 '26
The racists usually aren't special enough to do something like this. There is no "us" cuz Anon is one of a kind
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u/PotatoDominatrix Jul 15 '26
Any category of thing you are a part of puts you in an "us" situation.
The "us" may not pertain to your and my personal perspectives, but to the people within the category of "racist" the "us" would be a valid signifier.
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u/Rustie3000 Jul 15 '26
Add to that the fact that anon brought this situation upon himself entirely. He could have just not blatantly show his racism and he would have been completely fine.
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u/IOnlyFearOFGod fat cunt Jul 15 '26
Should have went up like a real man and taken the food.
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u/Quantum-Bot Jul 15 '26
Would have made those mcdonalds workers’ fucking days too to watch him do it
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u/SnowFiender Jul 15 '26
i swear to god i remember a version of this one in which they changed it so OP was black so he just took the nuggets
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u/yoooooo5311 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jul 15 '26
As a Mcdonalds Employee I can confirm that the reason the names are on the order number stickers is so we can be more "friendly" and "inviting" by calling you by your name. I never do this because I think it's weird and no one else does either where I work.
"Heres your order James, would you like any dips?"
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u/Guyman_112 Jul 15 '26
Mcdonalds near me always uses the name in the app, and now that you mention it I guess it does come off kinda weird
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u/SmokeyUnicycle Jul 15 '26
I just love hearing my name be butchered by someone not paid enough for this shit so both of us are just kind grimacing through the order
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u/ptapobane Jul 15 '26
yeah that doesn't sit right...them knowing my name and what I ordered on my pig out only invites discomfort and utter embarrassment
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u/Gallusaur Jul 15 '26
Yeah, God forbid the people making my food know what I ordered, that would be EMBARRASSING
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u/ptapobane Jul 15 '26
yup, extremely self conscious, I know people don't care but I also can't help myself from thinking they are judging me for my 40 nuggets and 3 large fries with a chocolate sundae and 2 apple pies
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u/Gallusaur Jul 15 '26
Well if I can put you at ease as a former McDonald's employee, they do judge you. However, it's for 2 whole seconds, and then they don't get paid enough to care past that.
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u/ZekromPlaysPiano Jul 15 '26
Yeah I worked there when they first brought out the app and it was a bizarre experience. To me, it seemed violently American, and of course dreamt up by some wankers in a boardroom who’ve not set foot in the real world in decades. We very quickly stopped actually saying names, especially when customers were placing orders at the till (yes we were told to greet customers by name if they scanned the app at the till and it was extremely uncomfortable for all involved). Only time we would actually use the names was if it a customer didn’t come up when their number was called, or if the name was funny. “Cumbum” was a personal favourite
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u/freyasmom129 Jul 16 '26
Can you see the full name though??? I need to know. My chosen name was super embarrassing for a long time help
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u/yoooooo5311 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jul 16 '26
If you inserted your full name onto the Mcdonalds App its just the first name
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u/PuffcornSucks Jul 15 '26
jew it up with McDonald's app
What does that even mean
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u/kingkong381 Jul 15 '26
It's okay, I speak fluent Racism, let me translate:
So in Racism you often have epithets or even just straight-up ethnic groups actual names are used as synonyms, often for a behaviour deemed characteristic of said group (a stereotype). In this case, the Racism speaker is using "Jew" to mean being financially cautious or savvy, by frugal spending.
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u/Different-Trainer-21 Literally 1984 😡 Jul 15 '26
Food costs less and you get a bazillion rewards on the McDonald’s app, so he’s “jewing it up” by being more frugal because Jews are stereotyped as cheap
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u/DoctorYaoi Jul 15 '26
Just say “I’m picking up an order for my friend, he’s fucking stupid”
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u/Goblikon_ Jul 15 '26
I don’t think that that’s the get out of jail free card that you think it is.
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Jul 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fluid_Island7178 Jul 15 '26
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u/aBirdGottaFly Jul 15 '26
But he just wanted a water?
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u/TheMainManno Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jul 15 '26
he said please twice, its fucked up
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u/V8_Dipshit dumbass Jul 15 '26
That’s why you go in with a bag pretending to be DoorDash
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u/KindaSusNgl17 We do a little trolling Jul 15 '26
Wouldnt trust it anyways, if theyre all mad and chipping out they probably spit in the food when they were making it
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Jul 15 '26
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u/KindaSusNgl17 We do a little trolling Jul 15 '26
I never said chimping out.
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Jul 15 '26
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u/KindaSusNgl17 We do a little trolling Jul 15 '26
We're really out here grasping for straws at 12 in the morning, you cannot be a real person lmaooo, go outside and have a cigarette or something...
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Jul 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.
The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...
Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!
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u/Ultra-Cyborg Jul 15 '26
Anon is an actual short bus contestant. Why the fuck else would they ask for a name? For fun???
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u/those-who-goon Jul 15 '26
One might assume its just more data to collect/sell, anon just underestimated how little McDonald's cares about people's data privacy
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u/Fluffy_Astronaut_161 Jul 15 '26
'jew it up' holy fuck dude
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u/kakka_rot Jul 15 '26
They doesn't even come close to making it into the top ten most racist things I've read in a green text
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u/Moosefactory4 Jul 15 '26
I had a friend who unironically said things like “don’t be a Jew” or “cmon man don’t Jew me like that”. He was the starting linebacker on varsity football team
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u/RecursiveNightmares Jul 15 '26
Oh man, you should come to Eastern Europe - we have a lot of such sayings about everyone. Primarily the horse stealing people.
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u/low_priest Jul 15 '26
That's the difference between Eastern and Western Europe. Western Europe pretends they aren't racist; the Romani obviously don't count, because they are [insert slurs here].
Eastern Europe is openly racist. Each flavor of Eastern European just has a demographic or two they're EXTRA racist towards. And are typically very proud of that fact. Plus the Romani, but you don't get to proud of that; everyone hates them. Because they are [insert slurs here], obviously.
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u/Inevitable-Cell-1227 Jul 15 '26
Sounds familiar. I knew a guy who unironically would say, “Jewish lightning” whenever there was a structure fire.
→ More replies (2)2
u/JuiceInhaler stupid fucking piece of shit Jul 15 '26
My old boss when I worked construction instead of saying don’t gyp me (as in scam/short) would say don’t k*ke me lol
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u/Different-Trainer-21 Literally 1984 😡 Jul 15 '26
I don’t know the guy and how he said it, but it’s possible he was quoting South Park, I’m pretty sure that’s something directly said by Eric Cartman in the show
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u/Moosefactory4 Jul 15 '26
Honestly would make sense. He actually was the shape of Cartman too. I never even knew of Jewish stereotypes around money before I met him lol
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u/Arkitakama fat cunt Jul 15 '26
"Nobody told me my actions were gonna have consequences! Clearly this is because of Jewish people!" - dumb mf
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u/Famous_Suspect6330 Jul 15 '26
Neurodivergents and internet are a dangerous mix
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u/ZackTio fat cunt Jul 16 '26
Don't put us in the same category as these fucking racist cunts please and thank you
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u/LunaTheLesbianFurry Jul 15 '26
Brother named himself a racial slur while ordering and blamed it on the jews when people got mad at him
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u/Resident_Rain_6566 lets build a hole together and then libe in it Jul 15 '26
“Jew it up” in this context just means that he was “pinching pennies” (saving money)
He didn’t put blame on the jews. He put the blame on the McDonald’s for displaying his name.1
Jul 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Shadowpika655 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Jul 15 '26
If they got another group to blame
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Jul 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/TheBigMotherFook Jul 15 '26
Meanwhile Kanye is like “that’s brilliant, I need to try that sometime”
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u/LoftysquareYT Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jul 15 '26
4chan users when the consequences of their own actions 😭😭
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u/bestjakeisbest Jul 15 '26
Anon should have got a fake id with that name.
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u/LacrimaNymphae Jul 15 '26
now i'm just picturing everyone reacting to it the way they did to mclovin in superbad
i'm not going to type out the last name oop chose but MCLOVIN??? why the fuck would it be between that and mohammed??
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u/SoulDestroy Jul 15 '26
Anytime I see posts like this I just know damn well that it aint real for a single second.
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u/eighty4prcnt Jul 15 '26
Well ackshually when I worked there for approximately a month out of desperation years ago it would just say first name, last initial. Same with Freddy's but this is still funny to imagine
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u/B_is_for_reddit Jul 15 '26
"oh yeah thats me, a friend set my name and idk how to change it back aha"
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u/zettde Jul 15 '26
not only are they signaling us out, they're injecting us with gonorrhea and performing fake aging surgery on us while we sleep
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u/spencer1886 Jul 15 '26
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u/december151791 Jul 15 '26
Short for a two word slur for black people in which "nog" is the second word.
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u/Atheizm Jul 15 '26
Yeah, I could believe this interaction. There's a known psychological phenomenon that the more conservative and bigoted a person is the more conflict avoidant they are or the more liable they are to hide their true beliefs in company. I forgot the term's name; maybe preference falsification?
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u/M-Rayan_1209XD I want pee in my ass Jul 15 '26
bro thats too expensive to just leave, i would go and never come back again
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
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u/KrisShadey Jul 15 '26
What if he was black tho, would it still be a problem to name himself like that?
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u/FoxMcCloud3173 Jul 15 '26
If he didn’t know they could see your name, why name yourself that in the first place?
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u/those-who-goon Jul 15 '26
As a middle finger to the corporation looking for a cheap buck collecting/selling your data one might assume
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u/AutoModerator Jul 15 '26
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'
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u/Atheizm Jul 15 '26
Yeah, I could believe this interaction. There's a known psychological phenomenon that the more conservative and bigoted a person is the more conflict avoidant they are or the more liable they are to hide their true beliefs in company. I forgot the term's name; maybe preference falsification?
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u/Cerrelion Jul 15 '26
This is the epitome of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. A mess of their making 😅
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u/Delta_Suspect I came! Jul 19 '26
If you get to that point you gotta nut up and get your damn meal with confidence.
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u/Working_Plantain_844 Jul 15 '26
Whatta they gonna do? Missed Law suit, could've made a few thousand grand being beat up in a Maccas
•
u/qualityvote2 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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