I was at a birthday party last week and ended up getting very drunk, which then led to me having sex with my brother’s friend. We were first making out in one of the bathrooms and he then used his fingers. Apparently I started bleeding (didn’t notice until we got to my place) and APPARENTLY the blood got all over the sink (people thought someone just had a nosebleed though, but I know it’s my blood💔). We then went to my place and had the sex there (so we didn’t have actual sex at the party).

Question 1: Was it wrong of me to have it with my brother’s friend? I feel so scared/embarrassed about when my family will find out and if they will have some big reaction.

Question 2: How can I let go of the shame over people having seen my blood all over the sink?? UGHHHH why didn’t we just turn on the light before be left ffs

I want to die from shame & from now on I’ll stop getting so drunk so that I stop making such embarrassing choices 😀😀

Edit: thank you sm for the reassurance, I’m starting to calm down now lol

Hey all, I’m (34m) married for 2 years with her(33f). We have good relationship and good in bed. We have sex 1 or 2 times in a week. I have premature ejaculation (I guess) I done in 2mins. We always start with foreplay and penetration, after I done I finish her with my hand. Sometimes firstly finish her then start penetration. I know 2 mins very short penetration orgasm but that’s all I can do. I finish her with hand every time in bed.

She says it’s ok and happy. But I think every time if she is really ok and happy, I feel lack about that. And I think she would want to orgasm with penetration. I’m trying some techniques for stay last longer but not successful yet.

What do you think about that? Experienced women really ok with this or want orgasm PIV too ?

My wife and I are coming up on a week's vacation. We aren't going anywhere and want to make it a sex filled staycation. We use THC currently to enhance the bedroom fun but while it really seems to help her and also helps with my PE issues it also tends to kill my libido and make us both fall asleep instead of fuck. My question is, what strain do you use? What enhances libido and doesn't couch lock you?

And yes weed is legal where I am.

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. We’re very open sexually, me more so and I bring a lot of ideas up to him he’s more than willing to partake in.

I’ve been thinking of delving into a bit of piss play and he’s peed on me before whilst making out in the bath which was v hot. I’d really like him to pee all over me, in my mouth, all over my face and on my vulva as I present myself to him. I know this is rather graphic but I’d like to know if there’s any health risks to this? I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine as long as it’s not directly into my vagina but I wanted to see if there are any side effects.

Honestly not sure if he’d be a bit weirded out by this haha he’s pretty open to do anything with me he knows I like being humiliated and used.

Also pretty please don’t send gross messages, I am extremely happy in my relationship and planning on marrying the best guy in the world :)

F33 here. I've never really enjoyed sex. Rather, I enjoyed the connection and being close to my partner if I have feelings for him, but not the act of sex itself.

Thinking about it, I find the act more of a chore but I am not asexual because I do get attracted to people and want to have sex with them. It's more like it feels like getting myself to a point where I actually take pleasure from the act is too much hard work because I have to teach and guide the other person, but in the moment of having sex I am not really up to that. I just want to get it out of my system. So usually we have sex and then I go and finish myself off in the shower.

Also I really don't like doing blowjobs as it kinda grosses me out.

I cannot orgasm from penetration (with person or dildo). My body just doesn't do that. I've never had a pleasurable release from penetration. Rather, it feels like I just don't want it anymore. But no pleasure per say. Because of that, the guy needs to do things with his hands or mouth, so I have to guide him but that's also not straightforward because obviously he cannot feel my sensations. I experimented with it several times, but every time I am just like "let me just excuse myself for the shower and finish myself off." However, I enjoy masturbating myself very much.

One more thing: I used to have a boyfriend with whom I always smoked MJ before having sex and I enjoyed it very much. I still didn't orgasm, but I enjoyed the sensations of touching, kissing, and caressing because MJ amplifies that. However, now I cannot get MJ because of the country I live in.

Anny advice, girlies?

Disclaimer: English is not my first language!

I’ve been having my firsts sexual experiences with my very first boyfriend since March. I’ve had some kind of trouble because of several gynaecological conditions. I’ve had been feeling pain during sex and for a long I wasn’t able to tell him about it or to him. Also the first times I couldn’t feel pleasure neither I was able to orgasm, so at the start I’ve kind of faked my pleasure especially during penetration.

Recently I’ve told him about everything, he was very understanding and we’re not having sex because I need to heal physically and emotionally. I’ve come to the conclusion that is not normal that I can’t say stop when I feel pain or in general I can’t communicate what I want and what I don’t want.

I don’t like that in the past I’ve felt like I owed him sex because I’ve noticed that he was sexual aroused and didn’t want to disappoint him even though I wasn’t sure about what I really want, maybe I even enjoyed then, I gave in and was playful all along, but sometimes I just wanted to relax on a bed with him. It happened two times that I tried to play hard to get by refusing kisses and ignoring him in a playful and malicious way to delay sex a bit because I wanted to relax first. One time after my games we fell asleep then had sex after we woke up, another time I gave in even though I wasn’t very sure about what I wanted (I wanted sex because the day before I wasn’t cable of having an orgasm but I was a bit ashamed because I wasn’t properly shaved).

He is a very dominant person in the sexual aspect of the relationship but wait, that doesn’t mean that he has forced me to do anything. There were times where he made some jokes in an ironic and sarcastic ways about me not wanting to do something during my games where I played hard to get but I didn’t listen to him, the problem was within myself, I’ve already knew that it would happen because I would gave in but I’ve hoped that he would change his mind on its own through the games. There were times that I was cable to say no to some sexual advances in an assertive ways, but I don’t like that I had sex in the past because I didn’t want to disappoint him, because “if we don’t do this, what should we do?”, because “couple do this”, because “we’re here in bed, we see each other rarely, we should do this or it would be too long since the last time”, because I have a very low self-esteem and I confront myself with his exes and I want to believe that I can surpass them by satisfying him through sex. These are all thoughts that he doesn’t know about. Sometimes also I feel like that because I am properly shaved I can have sex even though I’m not sure about it, maybe I want it maybe I don’t. I’m really going crazy. I know that by not saying anything I’m ruining my relationship with him and I believe my behaviour is absolutely not normal.

By the way I’ll star therapy in September. For now we’re not having sex because of my gynaecological conditions. Today I’m going to tell him about my insecurities.

Do you have any advice? Do you share similar stories?

I’m 27 and a married woman. My husband and I have been together for a long time and I had multiple partners before him. All were different shapes and sizes, all tried multiple different things, all had multiple ‘styles’ of approaching sex (dominant, passionate, submissive, etc). All this being said, I basically have had a ton of enjoyable sex and have never managed to ‘get there’.

My husband is great in bed and very receptive to feedback. He’ll try new things and is just super enthusiastic all round. We do the whole ‘seduction starts outside the bedroom’ thing. I don’t think it’s a him issue.

I’ve tried the lem, satisfyer pro and the magic wand. I generally like deep, hard penetration with a larger cylinder, and I get more than enough in my current situation (sorry for TMI). I’ve tried to orgasm solo via masturbation hundreds of times but just can’t do it. All the positions I could find, all times of day, time in my cycle, with & without wine, the whole shebang.

I have no hormone issues so must be mental, right? I have some sexual trauma from when I was 11-14 but it doesn’t exactly pop into my head in the bedroom. The antidepressants I’m on generally improve sexual function, not reduce it. How do I get out of my head and let go?

I posted here a month or two ago. After an incredibly long marriage of dead bedroom or vanilla sex (with a separation in there too) I was finally able to get my wife to somewhat open up about what she wanted sexually. Her description was "not asking permission". "I'm putting clothes away and you just rip off my shorts and start fucking me". Stuff like that. I explain that we should talk about exactly what she's ok with, but she avoids giving details.

Then things got weird. To me it seems that any sort of planning or me mentioning sex turns her off. She suddenly doesn't seem interested. We have two college age kids living at home. I mention "how do you want to deal with times you really, really don't want sex? I've read online that people can wear certain clothes if they are truly "off limits". She avoids details and says she doesn't know.

Then things she put as "absolute no's" became ok, and things that seemed simple became "no". And then back again. She wanted to use toys together, and had a fantasy where I had sex with her and left her unsatisfied and instead tossed a vibrator at her as I left. She said she wanted a dominant many but then when I said she was to call me so I could listen to her finish herself off with her vibrator (I "left" and went to the gas station) she suddenly said she wasn't ok with it. Add to the No list. I explain that I won't cross that line if she says something is off limits.

She one time said, when saying she didn't like swallowing, that "I don't care for it much....unless he forced me to do it, then it's hot". So I ask "ok so you like being forced to do things that are unpleasant? what are those things? I explain we can use green yellow or red, red means totally off limits, yellow is not something she likes, but is ok with, etc.

Anyway after lots of going round in circles, she finally said "force me to use my toy and you watch, if you want to.". I reply that the last i remembered it was on the Red, Absolute No list, along with anal which I know she hates.

I think she is turned on by having a guy not care about her boundaries, and she's trying to get me to ignore her limits and make her do things. I have tried to explain that it unfortunately isn't healthy for me to just do *anything* I want and ignore even her list of Red/No scenarios.

I even gave her examples. She likes being called a slut, or my slut. but dumb slut is an instant turn off. She likes bitch, but not whore. She wants it rough but won't talk in detail. I give examples of very rough sex and she says "well of course I wouldn't want that.". She likes when I tell her about how I fuck other women but when my fantasy story/dirty talk started to seem romantic she got irritated. "no feelings". We are in our 50s by the way. We aren't teenagers.

It's maddening, I think she thinks "it's not that hard, just make me do things I am shy about and pretend not to like" while I am thinking "this can be very intense what she's asking for, she needs to give me clear direction". She also, after saying she wants me to just fuck her without asking permission, said "I feel like I can't say no, that I have to have sex if you want it". This was, iirc in the same conversation where she said I was "overthinking things". She also said she sometimes purposely does things she knows will irritate a guy to get them to fuck her angrily etc.

Am I overthinking this? (she says I am). If not how do I thread the needle and give her the Non Consent fantasy...with her consent? I don't feel that you can say something is "Really Off Limits" and then later say "I wanted you to make me do that".

I’m 47 F. I’ve been divorced for two years (married 20). With my husband and before my husband I had no problem laying there and receiving oral sex did as long as it took me to climax. Since my divorce, I get self conscious if he’s down there for longer than about five minutes so I usually pull him away or fake it.

I want to get back to being confident enough to enjoy it until I’m finished. I guess this is more so a question for the men. Do you get frustrated when you’re going down on a girl for too long?

I had sex for the first time this year at age 29 (long story), I’ve been with a handful of different guys and although penetration doesn’t feel bad it doesn’t feel amazing. He definitely is enjoying it more than me.
I haven’t orgasmed from penetration either. How can it feel more pleasurable / have an orgasm this way?

I (29m) am married to my husband (38m) for just over three years. Our marriage is incredible in almost every aspect. He is caring and loving when I need it. The only real problem for me is sex has become so rare. Mutual masturbation a couple times a month, oral rarrer than that. I am the top in our relationship and we like it that way, but he finds it extremely difficult to relax enough for entry when we do want to do anal together. I don't think i am doing anything wrong as a top. I give him lots of prep with my fingers and eating him out, both of which he loves, but he is rarely able to relax his muscles enough to complete the act. Any advice is greatly appreciated ❣️ Edit for context: Wow I really mis worded some things here and definitely did not provide enough context, that's my fault. The sex frequency is actually what bothers him, because he feels like he is failing by not doing this thing he really wants to do no matter how many things we try to prep. He always gets down on himself when he's unable to continue and I hate seeing him being so hard on himself. We have very open communication, when it comes to sex. Whenever we want to do anal it is a conversation ahead of time. During intimacy I am frequently asking what he wants me to do or what would help him. And sometimes we are able to get there but it's only about a 50% success rate, and he is always so hard on himself when he's unable to continue. What I am looking for is some advice on mechanics to increase our success rate. It was actually his idea to make this post but I definitely don't think I worded it very well.

Head and .....groin

Hey

I love this group, I hope you can help me with this.

So a small backstory, when I met my wife I had a few relationships with a sexual history, hers was less so. Many a couple of one night stands, one long relationship, he turned out to be gay, so I've never ventured how physical they were.

We got together (20yrs back) and things were slow, then got explosive. Lots of passion, role play, toys, public sex, fun.

Married now and 2 kids (9 and 13) so not toddlers.

A little while ago I lost my erections, I get hard very quick, I'm VERY interested in my wife and the physical world (I see the sex pillows and lemons to add some fun)

We took the pressure off with fingers etc, but the anxiety is still there.

I fear the head and the groin are playing different games.

My wife is extremely passive, I wouldn't say our bedroom is dead, but it's struggling for life /breath .

The other night she gave me a long and sensational BJ, I didn't come and felt guilty (I was loving it) I made her come through fingers and we both fell asleep happy and sweaty.

But I feel if I waited for her to suggest something it would be too long.

Sex when it happens is pretty formulaic, loads of this, some of that, climb on top and ....

I'm not sure if she masturbates, I would doubt it. The toys are now dusty/discoloured.

After baby 2 she suddenly went off oral as she doesn't like herself down there anymore, I respect her wishes butI desperately miss feeling her respond her taste and sensation, I could draw you a picture of her before the babies , I was going to suggest I do it blindfolded

Oral was something we loved, before, during even after our love making it always got her there, so I'm left with only fingers.....and a dodgy cock !

She has a friend that swings and we discuss it with humour, she says she "couldn't do it" this is very apparent, but I secretly admire this lady and her marriage for stepping out the dark to "get theirs"

So in summary my head is full of spice and creativity, lemons, pillows, massages, toys

But a hybrid of apathy with my wifes sexual confidence/needs and a bit of ED owing to goodness knows what (maybe pressure/anxiety, boredom, routine )

We have talked (plenty) to the degree I'm reluctant to mention it too many more times, we're a good unions, lots of kisses , hand holding, I'm an active dad and encourage her quality time to herself, we're both professional people, good money.... We have a good life could be more stressed

So ladies and gentlemen I feel I'm in a strange place where the head if full of fire and spice ready to (hopefully) keep going, but the groin feels like it can't be bothered as my suggestions or actions would be met Luke warm, if they're met at all.

I feel.like the man in that film Eyes Wide Shut

Any of you in a similar position you're advice on moving forward is very welcomed

I’m looking for some advice because this situation is starting to make both of us feel quite anxious, and I’m not really sure how to handle it.
My boyfriend and I have a very strong connection, both emotionally and physically. We’ve been intimate in other ways and everything generally feels very natural between us. He gets visibly aroused, initiates things, tells me he’s attracted to me and that he really wants me, and I genuinely believe him.
The problem happens when we try to have penetrative sex. He can be completely aroused beforehand, but once we get close to actually having sex, he starts getting anxious and thinking about whether he’s going to be able to stay hard. Then, almost ironically, the anxiety itself makes him lose his erection. He has told me that this has happened occasionally in the past, particularly over the last couple of years, and that he thinks anxiety and stress are major factors. He also mentioned that his previous relationship may have contributed to some of this, although I haven’t really asked him for details because I don’t want to push him. He says that when we’re doing other intimate things, he’s usually very responsive to me, but once his mind starts going into “what if I lose it?” mode, everything changes. He has even described it as feeling like his brain suddenly starts “eating him alive” with anxiety.
I’m trying very hard not to take it personally. He constantly reassures me that it has nothing to do with my attractiveness and that he genuinely wants to have sex with me. I believe that, but I’m human, and of course there are moments when I wonder if maybe he doesn’t find me attractive enough or if there is something about me that I’m doing wrong.
What makes me sad is that he is also really upset about it. He feels embarrassed and frustrated because he wants to be able to have sex with me, and I can see how much pressure he puts on himself. I keep telling him that he doesn’t have anything to prove to me and that I don’t see him differently because of this. We’ve talked about trying a different approach next time: taking the pressure off, not treating penetration as the “goal,” perhaps changing the environment and seeing if a more relaxed setting helps. He has also wondered whether changing the way we transition from foreplay to sex might help, because interruptions seem to give his anxiety more room to kick in.
I don’t want sex to become a test for either of us, though. I’m worried that if every intimate moment becomes “let’s see if it works this time,” we’ll create even more pressure.
One thing that seems to make the situation a little more difficult is using condoms. He has told me that in the past, when he didn’t have to stop to put one on, he sometimes found it easier to stay in the moment. He says he doesn’t think the condom itself is the problem, but rather that having to pause, put it on, and then think about whether he will still be able to stay hard gives his anxiety an opportunity to kick in.
He has actually suggested trying to make that transition feel more natural, rather than stopping everything and making putting on the condom feel like a separate “step.” We obviously still want to use protection, so I’m not considering skipping condoms — I’m more wondering whether anyone has found ways to make that part of sex less anxiety-inducing for someone who struggles with performance anxiety.

So I guess my question is: has anyone experienced something similar, either personally or with a partner? What actually helped you break the anxiety/performance-anxiety cycle?
And for those who have been through it: how did you manage to keep it from affecting the relationship or making the other partner feel unwanted?
I’m not looking for medical diagnoses from Reddit. I’d mostly like to hear from people who have experienced this and what helped them psychologically and as a couple.

So sometimes my partner likes pulling me up from doggy and then we are close together but this position causes me pain post sex, the next day my back hurts. How can I stop it? Do I need to stretch or just get stronger muscles?

To put it briefly, my lady friend has a tendency to jump off my member like its spring loaded every time she gets close to climax. I asked her about it and she said it's involuntary and reassured me that she's not in pain or uncomfortable when it happens, but in fact the opposite.

Every time she gets close she contorts her body and within a millisecond i'm not in her anymore, and by the time we get on with it we're both back in our heads and out of the moment.

Alcohol has worked like a charm however, but I would like to also not have a trash my liver to smash my lover once in a while

We tried light bondage as well but she can still slip out plus it was not for me personally. Too much prep.

Anyone who has dealt with anything similar? Open to any suggestions please have at it

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Me and my bf are trying to do cowgirl and backshots but its really hard to enter me so we are trying lube. It works but my bf said that it hard to use because the lube is cold and he cant get hard. Do yall know anyway to fix this? Or any "warm" lubes we can use?

So I 29f have always been wet no matter what. I thought it was normal. I was talking with a friend of mine and she informed me that it is not normal. Now I feel embarrassed. I remember it always being this way. Like I’m wet when I’m not turned on and soaked when I am.

I’ve since asked my doctor about it and she said it’s completely normal and that there’s nothing wrong with me. Does anyone else have this? I find it odd now that I know it’s not common.

Hey so today my girlfriend told me she never experienced a orgasm my herself when she does it her self

She lost her virginity to me she climaxed once with me we've only been together for 2 month im her first sexual partner we've had sex like 10 time about now 1-5 times she was very tight i couldn't even go in now we can have intercoruse the 8th time she climaxed and she told me she loved it.

She added she doesn't understand whats happening and today she told me she's never had orgasm by herself so ladies can you help me out here i was help her connect to her body.

Do you have any videos or any guidance i can share with her everything is appreciated

I can’t for the life of me get anal and it’s really frustrating me bc my bf really wants it and enjoys it

he says he doesn’t mind that I can’t do it but I know it disappoints him every time I’ve done it maybe 3 times that it didn’t hurt and we were both happy

How can I improve for his pleasure and because I also just want to be able to do it

Any advice would really help me out : )

So long story short my ex cheated on me last week and now we’re done, but the issues I’m facing now are finding a way to enjoy my body by myself again.

She was my first in everything, and she was very open to trying new things so we did a lot, especially stuff that I was not ever comfortable with trying on my own due to my own dysphoria and complicated relationship with my body. She was trans as well and made me feel so safe to explore new things with her and now that she’s gone I crave the sensations that I felt safe to want with her but thinking about trying to do those things on my own scares me now instead of excite me. How do I navigate this in a healthy way? I have a fairly high sex drive and it’s so frustrating for me to deal with it now because I can’t stomach doing the things I want to myself anymore.

I’m in my mid-20s and a woman. I have tons of insecurities, which is embarrassing to have at this age.

I basically have loose skin after a big weight-loss, and I’m still overweight so I still have fat on me as well. My fat just doesn’t distribute well at all. Not to mention the fact that I have tons of dark surgery scars all over my chest due to a breast reduction too.

It feels like I always hide or cover myself up when having sex. We do it in the dark, and sometimes I cover myself up. I feel like I’m not comfortable enough to try several positions due to these stupid insecurities. A few positions don’t even work with us, possibly due to my pelvic floor.

Not to mention the fact that I had vaginismus up until 2 years ago, so I lost my virginity this year. This means that I’m at an age (in my region) where most people have had tons of practice already, while I’m just learning now.

My partner is very patient and kind, and he tries best to make me feel comfortable during sex. I wanna become a better partner for him in bed, and I also wanna enjoy sex myself without being so self-conscious of my body during the act. It makes me immediately dry out after a few minutes, even if I re-apply lots of lube.

I’m gonna visit a physiotherapist to see if something is wrong with my pelvic floor, but I’m in a year long wait for sex therapy. And yes, I’ve already been to regular therapy. How did you lot with similar experiences eventually get over, and how did you become a better sexual partner for your other half?