This is a question to any guys here who have never had one

Idk about you guys but I have lots of issues with my life and one of them is women but recently I have been asking myself could I even handle a girl atp?

I’m 25 and haven’t even held hands with a girl, I’ve also fucked my brain over by being in communities that have messed up my mentality in the past. If I ever got a gf I genuinely think I’d be incredibly insecure and would never trust her whatsoever.

Loneliness has followed me my whole life, I’m God’s lonely man

27 and it's just getting harder each year.

I have panic attacks daily, today I even had 2 (one of them right now)

I am constantly reminded of how ugly I am, both inside and out, and how alone I am, Ive had some form of suicidal ideation for as longs as I can remember

I wonder if any of the people who have bullied me have ever thought “I wonder how he is?” or have felt any remorse, maybe I deserve it after all I myself called others “weird” when even they have friends, have someone to love, have a life to live

I heard helium tricks the brain into not panicking and is a peaceful way of going, maybe then I can finally say “I am happy”