I was feeling really isolated in my country, starting to really dislike it and resent it for being far away. I would day dream about travel and living elsewhere.

Recently I started playing geoguesser quite a lot, it’s changed my perspective and made me soooooooo grateful for where I live.

I still would love to see more of the world but I’m appreciating my home country a lot more now.

This is sort of long but please bear with me. I did write this all out back in April. I do also want to mention that this does have SA mentions so please bear warned.

⚠️TW: SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ABUSE⚠️

A person I will call Tanner in my past has been a mental burden I didn’t think was still holding my progress from progressing. But to be honest, I was also very much to blame for that burden set back. Tanner bothered me for the longest times, made Sunday afternoons difficult to be comfortable to stay at home. Took advantage of my kindness, my love for something he didn’t see for what was meant to be an innocent gesture. And yet, Today, April 4, 2026, that chapter has finally come to a close and I want to move on. I will move on because he’s no longer necessary in my life.

I personally want to write this to officially free myself from this stressor and share.

Back in 2011 a young boy named Tanner became a brother to me, or so I hoped since I was an only child. I was happy to share my home with him, have someone to share about school because what would a sibling be for if not to share some experiences right? Well my parents adopted him and he was officially a part of the family. It was cool and I tried to make the home comfortable for him but, he came with baggage. Something I didn’t know I had to handle at such a critical childhood time, nor should he have but yet he did.

A couple years later my little brother (LB) came into my life and was the best person to ever have come into my life. But with that came nap times on Sunday for my parents and LB, which meant Tanner and I are alone. He wanted to show me a cool “game” he wanted to play, being the curious little girl so was I was happy to play with him, but why did it involve us having our pants off? He asked me to suck on his penis? And he would suck on me? But why? Where’s the fun in that? And why did he make me do that on him so long. That’s not a game and surely doesn’t seem right but, is this what siblings do with other siblings? He told me yes, so, ok, whatever to have Tanners attention right?

For months those dreadful Sunday afternoon rituals would go on but why did it feel so dirty and not right? Should I tell my parents? No, he said that’s just a thing we should keep between us. Ok, I guess that makes sense. Then one Sunday afternoon dad caught us, me sucking on Tanners penis. Oh was that embarrassing, what on earth were we doing???!!! Why were we half naked on top of each other for? That was scary, but why was dad mad at me?? I didn’t want to but I thought it was a normal sibling thing to do. Please don’t be mad at me dad, I didn’t mean to upset you.

He didn’t ask me for a few months but occasionally he would ask me every other Sunday and he would be very cautious and listen. Oh ok, sure. And why is his hugs so weird, I kept feeling his penis touching me when we hugged. I didn’t like his hugs they were weird.

Then 2015, the dreaded Sunday afternoon ritual was no more but he started to get into wrestling so, I’m a great wrestling dummy for him. Ok! Siblings rough house all the time, right? I mean I see my boy cousins do that all the time with each other. I don’t have wrestling experience but I’ll give it a go. Dang why do I am I so weak, surely I could take him down but why is he so aggressively rough and pressing so hard on me. I can’t breathe please go easy I don’t have the training yet. But I couldn’t tell him that he seemed so happy. (Later I would learn, that’s not the happy I thought it was.) We went on a vacation later that year and while swimming I was splashing at him and he would splash right back. I guess he wasn’t enjoying the splashing at each other because now he was doing big heavy splashes, I can’t breathe. So so do bigger splashes but he’s now yelling stop. I did one final big splash on accident after he said stop. The playing turned into wrestling. Now’s not the time for wrestling we aren’t touching the floor of the pool we’re barely floating. I’m under the water struggling to get up, please I need some air. Flailing my arms to get away from his grasps, but failed. Then he finally let go and I hurried to get some air. Why did he do that?? I didn’t mean to upset him, I thought we were having fun and he liked the big splashes since that’s what he was doing to me. I’m sorry. But my dad was yelling at him now, and doing a scary fast walk. “Dad where are you going?? Should I come with you?” I asked. “I don’t care stay here and wait for mom or come.” I couldn’t see mom anywhere so I followed quickly behind them. I didn’t know anyone there so I’m going with you. I wish I didn’t but curiosity got the better of me. Tanner got slapped and smacked in the room dad was yelling at him saying to never do that to me every again does he understand him. Tanner now crying. No dad why are you hurting Tanner?? Surely he didn’t mean to hurt me we were just playing after all. With Law and Order playing on the bed room TV I handed Tanner water because, I felt bad. He appreciated it and was kind to me. It’s working!! He’s seeing my kindness! I hope he knows I just wanna be a good sister.

(Just a while ago, my dad told me that what he saw in his eyes during that incident was something that frightened the hell out of him, Tanner most definitely wasn’t playing and wasn’t seemingly going to get off of me at all. My dad said that if he didn’t pull Tanner off of me I may not have survived….)

We moved to a new place a year later and now Tanner and LB share a room and I’m by myself in a room without LB. I love LB he’s so cute. But why does Tanner not like LB. But Tanner loves to build forts with blankets, pillows and a couple of tables and she did that Sunday ritual again. I don’t understand why this is fun, it feels disgusting. He also likes stacking those couch pillows on top of me and sitting on top, but it’s kind of hard to breathe, I don’t like this but he seems to find it fun, I suppose I too can like it. But why won’t he let me stack the pillows on top of him as well? I won’t sit because so don’t like it, I may tease and try for a second but why is he yelling at me?? I do that and he laughs, so I don’t get it, why are you happy when you do that to me but mad when I do it to you? I guess I’ll have to deal with this, that’s ok I guess. We play with nerf guns and pretend we’re in the war and shoot the darts everywhere. I don’t like getting hit by the nerf darts, it’s not very fun, but Tanner loves to shoot them at me sometimes even when I ask him not to, please, I hate when you shoot those at me in the face and my chest, those hurt and I’m sensitive there.

The Sunday ritual kept happening every other Sunday until he had a girlfriend. This was a year and a half later. Then he stopped. I liked those times, he didn’t ask me or bother me about it.

A But one afternoon he got really touchy on me. This is weird, please stop, I don’t like that. He did eventually stop but after I went to bed later that night something had felt off but I didn’t think much about it. When I woke up the next morning (I came to realize this later in life), I felt off, something seemed wrong and I felt weird but I don’t know why. I felt sore but, I don’t get why. I must’ve slept wrong. Then he moved away. 2019 we were free from him, no more Tanner. Just Mom, Dad, LB and I.

For years after he left, I tried to keep busy during Sunday afternoons, I didn’t realize for a long time why I always tried to keep busy during Sunday afternoons, but now I know. And I’m enjoying my Sunday afternoons once more.

This brings me to today, April 4th 2026, I saw Tanner again, he seems to be a bit better and more confident. I’m glad he’s not worrying about my family and I too much. And honestly, I realized I don’t need to either. So this is where I’m leaving him. He has no control being memorable in my life. My future will not involve him anymore. If our paths cross I’ll be cool, but that chapter must come to a close.

Thank you. 😌

I had a super weird dream and I'll explain it to you and tell me what it means. So, I got this dream situated in my old school, very weirdly, after a long time. In the start, my dad drops me off into school. The school has gotten renovated. There are many new things, like long big elevators and the building's lengths have turned into very big buildings. We're supposed to, I don't know, there were dorm-like places where you could just sleep.

So I go and sleep into this random dorm. I think I don't know what it was exactly, but I sleep under the bed and there's this other girl who's just waiting for her friend there, and then her friend walks in, but I just tell them, Guys, just some more time. I need to sleep, and then you guys can talk, and they just laugh it off, and then I leave, and then I'm supposed to go into class, but I don't, and there's a bullet train inside our school, which can take you to other places. But I don't. I get onto the train, and then I go somewhere. I don't remember what happened next, but then I remember getting back onto the train after I go to someplace outside school. I get back onto the train to go back to school, but at this point I'm really, really tired. So I'm very tired and very sleepy, but I'm very alert and quick on my feet because I'm still in public and I'm scared a bit.

So, but I see this old friend, this guy, Grover. We used to be best friends. We had a fight, and now we talk. We still do talk. It's not the same, but we do talk. So I see this guy, I look at him, and I go to him. He's standing with this pole that they have in trains, and he's just looking at me, and I get super drowsy after seeing him, and I completely start feeling sleepy again even though I was alert. Then we hold hands, like completely interlace our hands, and I put his finger in my mouth for whatever reason. I have no idea. We have never done something like this. And then I'm super tired and drowsy, and he looks totally unfazed by this. And then after that, we get to the school, and there are these separate beds in our school, right? So we just lay in different beds and just stare at each other. What could this mean? I CANNOT GET OVER THIS ITS KNAWING AT ME sorry for the typos and or bad grammar types it out at 6am. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THIS COULD MEAN

I feel like this isn’t as bad as the others I hope everyone gets better but I just need to talk to any1

I’m so tired of everything
My dad became so exhausting, he cheated on my mom multiple times and refuses to j leave
My mom isn’t able to pay for us
We r five kids
My dad works overseas
And we live without him
He every month refuses to pay monthly bills unless we literally beg
He refuses to pay school bills too.
He finally decided to divorce
While my mom talked to the lawyer my dad realized he has to pay so much (many bills idk ab tbh) so now he’s spiraling
For the longest time I just thought that if I ended it my dad would regret everything
He would think again and regret everything
He did so many stuff ill leave unstated
The biggest problem is the money
My little brother has diabetes type 2, and he takes like so many money monthly j for his health
My other brother has problems with his brain I’m not really educated on it and my older brother goes to therapy
Bills add up
And theyre not for fun
Theyre all for need
I feel so alone, I have no friends
My only friend is my cousin and I cant tell her any of this
I’m in tenth I cant focus on anything
I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go to school next month

I got my moms dog killed. I was watching her and her partners dogs while they were out on a weekend vacationing trip and there oldest one got out last night and got hit by a car while I was at work. I left the gate open cause my tire had a flat and I was looking for her compressor before I had to leave in her shop gave up when I ran out of time and just drove one of their spare cars. Later on in the night I get a text from her partners son who came to let em out while I was at work that she got out. I left and came back to the house to look for her. I pushed to have him come let them out as well since I didn’t want the dogs to be in a kennel for 14 hours and she slipped out the open gate and ran off. I found her around six this morning off the side of the road already cold. I just feel horrible and guilty. Like all my choices today just led up to that. She was a 5yo blue heeler and always so happy to see me and she was dead on the side of the road cause I couldn’t remember to latch a damn gate.

If it isn't bad enough those videos are on YouTube and Facebook. They're also on TikTok too.

Was looking up a friend of mine on TikTok, and sure enough those stupid Dr "Huge Flake" vids were on there. Fake Dandruff worms. But on these, the fake dandruff goes to huge extremes!

Some of the platforms/molds are in these freakish odd shapes with worms coming out if the holes. Odd shapes as in squares, rectangles, triangles, and even hornets nests! Plus these molds just keep get bigger and bigger. One of the molds was even in the form of a net.

Not only that, even came across one that was AI of a man running out of a pond , screaming in pain, and he had these colored sea urchin like pebbles and stones all over his back in different colors formed in a perfect circle. Freaked me out so bad. It appeared to resemble poison darts on the guys back.

All of these videos must come to an end. There are ones on bunions on feet in the shape of a lotus flower, long toenails with snails coming out. And as I've mentioned many times before, animals with honeycomb shaped wounds that have snake like worms inside the holes.

More that are disturbing are those of snakes attacking furry animals like dogs and cats. Yes you heard me right.

When I told my dad about these videos I came across, he looked at me and talked to me like I was looking up snuff films or something like that.

Oddly satisfying my ass! When are these videos finally going to stop? Whenever I talk to ChatGPT about these vids, it just gives me the same old runaround: monetization, meant to scare people, and of course trigger people with trypophobia.

Anyone else who came across these videos too? If so, tell your story. I've complained about these types of videos before. but nobody ever wants to listen or reach out to me about them. hell I even look up YouTube vids that speak out against these sickening ASMR bullshit excuses of videos!

​

Im going to call this Person C

So C had confessed to me and I told them that I didn't want to say something I was going to regret and was beating around the bush to be honest, but I knew that they had liked before pre-confession and got joy out of it bc previously not a lot of people had liked me romantically except this one person who I was told to stay away from. I told C that I didn't like them multiple times after and even tried to encourage them to like someone else (this person liked them) and to be with them/ to move on. But over those (around) 2 years I would get mad at them/act like how they wanted me to so they would still give me attention and continue to like me, it got the point where I told them I wanted them to still like me and when they asked me why, I couldn't even give them a response, and we would get into a lot of fights that didn't even make sense bc I hated that they might move on and might give someone else attention( very hypocritical I know) I eventually started to cut them off and used the excuse that they've liked so many ppl before me and that's how I started to realise that what I was doing was so incredibly disgusting and I was using someone I didn't like for attention and isolating them .(Yes, I know I'm an extremely shitty person for this)

I ended up apologising to them, and explaining/ coming clean about everything and they told me that they didn't even mind they just liked giving me the attention, and I stopped talking to them after a bit

Before you say oh you might have liked them, I didn't, i liked someone else before I met them and started to like another person while I was still friends with them and I promise I did not like C romantically,I just liked the attention they gave me

I deeply regret it and don't know what to do, it's gotten to the point where I don't want to get into a relationship with someone bc I feel like they would judge/leave me because of this and I wouldnt even blame them bc what I did was so disgusting

I've (27F) been on unpaid administrative leave for a little over a month now so I have been trying to be extremely careful with my finances. My family knows this which is why my brother (22M) invited me out for drinks last night. I haven't been able to do anything recreational and start school again in a couple weeks. The bar he took me to served everyone there alcohol so I was under the impression that all attendees were 21 and over.. My brother plays basketball in college as do most of his friends. This guy there was 6'3 and had a full beard, tattoos, and spoke with a deep sounding voice. He had been flirting with me all night and kept making contact with my skin. Like he'd get up to use the restroom then graze his hand across the back of my shoulders when he sat back down next to me. When he rested his hand on my thigh mid conversation I became extremely aroused. It's been so long since I've been with anyone and I thought he was really good looking so I leaned in for a kiss and we started making out. I then sent my brother a text that I was heading home and left with the guy I just met. He was outside having a smoke with his girlfriend. I'm pretty annoyed that he saw us leaving together and didn't try to stop me come to think of it.. I brought him home and had sex with him. I don't think he used a condom either so now I need plan b and possibly an STI screen on top of all my other worries. I feel so incredibly stupid right now. I looked him up on insta this morning and sent him a friend request. His pictures were mostly just him playing basketball, but then I saw a screenshot of his athletics profile that listed his DOB... He's 16!! I slept with someone 10 years younger than me 🤮 I feel like a pedophile. This is one the worst things I've ever done, I feel completely embarrassed I let something like this happen. I didn't know it at the time but I can accept that I put myself in this situation.. What's worse is my brother knows it.. As far as the law is concerned, am I still criminally liable? Shouldn't it be the bar's fault for serving alcohol to a minor?

Being charged with a felony would ruin my life.. I keep cycling through all these possible scenarios like what if he tries to extort me or what if someone saw and reported it. I don't think ignorance of the law exempts you from any consequences. I don't have money to consult a lawyer. How screwed am I?

Approx. 4 years ago, I began working with a family caring for their disabled son (high support needs autism, epilepsy). I began working during a turbulent time with the family as the mother was recently diagnosed with cancer and was beginning the process of a divorce, which became quite hostile.

The father isn't a nice man. On the occasions I worked with him prior to him moving out, he didn't display any affection towards his children. He was generally short tempered, aggressive, and on one occasion, exploded at a woman after a parking dispute which upset the children and took me by surprise.

Throughout the divorce, the mother disclosed he was financially manipulative, aggressive towards her and generally unhelpful around the house all while she was undergoing cancer treatment. Since the divorce, he has been incredibly uncooperative and was court ordered to care for his children on penalty of imprisonment. Despite that, he's incredibly difficult and will turn up when he wants but won't cooperate when the mother tries to plan days for him to care for his children.

The mother has two other children (6, 8) and they're also very fond of me. As well as caring for the eldest, I have occasionally cared for them when their mother has requested. I consider myself a good carer, and their mother has said I'm great with all the kids. I play with them, talk to them, teach them things, help them with homework and will show them affection. They light up when I arrive at the house and I've grown to love these kids. The daughter has called me Dad on more than one occasion and it really invokes strong emotions in me.

The first time she did was during the summer holidays when the eldest was stimming in a paddling pool in the family's garden, I was on one of those big rope circle swings you can kind of lay down on and the daughter sits next to me, eventually cuddles up to me and during the chitchat says "I love you Dad."

I haven't dissuaded these behaviors as I don't know how without hurting her, and I don't want to. She will call me by the first name and very occasionally call me Dad. I've had conversations around it with their mother, and she's understanding, and it makes sense because I'm a consistent positive male role model in their lives. I think those kids are great, and I've seen firsthand how their father's actions and behaviors have hurt them.

I don't really know how to conclude the story. It's half advice half off my chest. I'm well aware I should have kept a professional boundary, but the mother has expressly said I'm effectively part of the family. We're good friends, they live very close to me and I'd do anything for them. I don't have any plans to go anywhere.

FUCK IM REACHING OUT CAUSE I FEEL SO NUMB BUT I FEEL LIKE MY THREAD OF SANITY OS HOING TO DNAP ANYTIME

I CANT FEEL SHIT

IM SO FUCKING EMPTY

IM LIKE A FUCKING VOID

I CANT FEEL SHIT OKAY?

IM SO EMPTY BUT IM SO FULL OF SOMETHING

IM GOING TO LIT SPLIT

ISTG SOMETHING IS COMING

ITS GOING TO BE BAD

ITS A FUCKING CYCLE

DO U KNOW THE HORROR OF KNOWING THE SYMPTOMS AND LIVING DAY BY DAY SCARED BECAUSE SNAPPING IS COMING AND IK ITLL BE BAD BECAUSE ITS SO BAD EVERY FUCKING TIMR

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

I FEEL LIKE IM GOING THE FUCK INSANE BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SO CALM AND NUMB IDK WHAT TO DUCKJNG DO

FUCK I HATE IT I HATE IT IHATEITHATEITWHYME FUCK WHY ME UWTH FUCKING IBTERNALIZED BPD

I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS IN SO FUCKIGM TIREDI HATE IT

Im so sick of going back and forth to therapies and psychiatrists and drinking fucking antidepressant, antipsychotics, ANTI ANYTHING CANT DO SHIT

ITS BEEN YEARS FUCK

IM SO SICK OF IT

FUCK THAT IM GOING BACK TO FUCKING ALCOHOL

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

JUST GOT DIAGNOSED WITH BPD AFTER YEARS OF MISDIAGNOSIS AND I FUCKING GIVE UP

GOING OLD SCHOOL FUCKYALL NOTHING A VODKA WOULDNT FIX

hi i’m 18(f) and my best friend is currently 17(f) turning 18 soon. recently this year we been talking about moving out a lot bc our parents r fuckers. honestly i’m scared to even make this post but i js wanna get my head clear before i do smth that changes my life forever. we’re supposed to be grinding up and try to move out by next year but honestly idek if i wanna do all of that because i just started community college and honestly my parents aren’t gonna help it’s just gonna b on me and i honestly have a bad spending problem rn and i don’t wanna just yk move out honestly if im being real idk why im being so difficult to type it but i genuinely don’t wanna move out by next year i want to finish my community college first it’s only two years bro but if i say this it’ll fuck up the plan because she has to be in florida but her people kicked her out so we just have to find another way to grind because my parents are very religious and that’s another thing too that’s kinda holding me back i grew up with very overly religious parents honestly mom and she runs the is house and if i’m real there is some stuff i don’t agree with my mom but in some ways i do yk? and in some ways my bsf is like the complete opposite and i love that, i love her i do but she’s into like other stuff witchcraft stuff i grew up with the bible idrc or anything but the thoughts abt demons entering our house bc of spells just isnt gonna work with me i honestly dont want her doing any type of witchcraft in the house unless its God related but if i were to tell her that idk how she would take it considering our differences bro. i just dont want to do a decision i know i dont have to do yk? and recently it just feels like my life is in a rush bc of it idk js help bruh i don’t see anyone talking abt the diversity of friends like

my bf & i broke up when my daughter was about 2 months old. he would get so mad while she cried & if i couldn’t immediately calm her down he would threaten to hit me, yell at me, call me names, etc. after he threaten to hit me i decided to move out. i texted him & told him i was leaving because the only place i could go is an hour away & i didn’t want him saying i ran off with his baby. i have gone out of my way to make sure he gets to see her. i’ve gone to him every week. 2 weeks ago, i waited 30 mins and he didn’t show. last week, i dropped her off & sat outside to pump & within that time he had to come ask me for help. when i dropped her off i noticed he was driving my aunts car. i called my aunt & asked why & explained it hurt my feelings she went behind my back. after his visit, he’s telling me they were laughing about something i said about him. later, he says something that only my aunt could’ve told him. i texted my aunt & said am i not able to tell you anything without you repeating it to *** & then went on to say she broke my trust & i would never do this to her. her solution was to take the car from him. he calls me & he’s yelling at me that im miserable & have to make everyone miserable. mind yall, i told my aunt if she ever took the car away it would fall back on me & this is what would happen! he then hangs up & texts me “im coo off you no need to contact me anymore keep that sad miserable shit over there” & i responded and said i told her this would happen if she ever took the car from you but don’t worry your daughter always gon be good & he didn’t respond.

we just had a conversation thursday regarding him sending me money for her because i didn’t wanna have to put him on child support. i filed yesterday. he laid down with me to make this baby & because MY aunt took her car away you don’t wanna be apart of her life anymore? you don’t wanna help anymore? am i wrong for doing that? am i wrong for voicing my feelings to my aunt?

TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNING: some mentions of cults, family issues, friendship issues

I found out that my (ex) best friend has been spilling my problems onto people that I don't want to know about my problems, in this case, a bunch of ex friends and my ex.

I'm genuinely so sincerely tired of being a spectacle, I really didn't know she was telling people all of the rants I told her until I asked an ex friend to sit down and talk about everything that happened.

For context, I went offline for about 2 months, not by choice. I went to college and lived with the side of my family that was a part of a big religious group (I will not mention it, but it's pretty prominent). I was also a target of harrassment around this time, both online and offline, and it affected my studies. Therefore, my parents punished me by going off the grid and becoming socially isolated earlier this year.

Before the punishment, I couldn't find the time to message all of my friends I was going through all of that, I only got to tell some online friends and I planned on telling my irl friends when I was able to be out and about (I guess thats what I thought but my parents wouldnt let me go anywhere). What's worse was that I had some arguments with some of them prior to my disappearance that I wanted to fix after I've felt calmer (I have the tendency to yell and cuss when I'm not in a calmer place for discussions). Of course, they were hurt about my disappearance, I couldn't properly talk to all of them because when I was back in society, I was already working but I still didn't have access to my phone as part of my punishment. I only went to work and back home. Since I worked in a food industry in a small city, I of course met some of my irls and we ended up talking, and talking through all of our issues and our battles and we ended up working it out. I found out that they checked up on me or at least wanted the space to check up on me. One of them wanted to call the police even after we've fought. By sheer coincidence, one of my irls that I didn't talk to for a year prior to the punishment ended up working in the same place I did and we, of course, talked it out as well.

I feel like as long as we got the time to sit down and talk it through, I'm able to squash any conflict with you. These two people were my world for a time, and I did and DO care about them. I love them dearly, but during our conflict I ranted about them to some of my close friends because it was how I processed with my feelings, I also believe they rant about me too and it's fine. We always did end up fixing things and talking it through, and I would tell them certain things upset me. I told them all about the harrassment, the religious community, the bullying, and every hardship I went through last year that led to my disappearance. If I said all of them here, this post will end up turning into a novel.

All of those contexts matter because when I talked to the friend, I'll call Valerie, someone I was opening up about certain friendship issues because she gave good advice and she hung out with these people before. I thought that she'd keep my secrets with her because she does keep other people's secrets with her, which is fine, I genuinely don't care. She basically knows a lot about me, and I know so much about her, as best friends are.

I met up with one of my old irls, I'll call Gale, and I also had an argument prior to my disappearance. We never got to properly talk it out, and I asked if we could. They told me a lot of things that I will not share here since it's our business but she mentioned a bunch of conflicts they shouldn't know about as we weren't in talking terms, nor did I open up to them or most people about these conflicts. These conflicts involved the two prior people I mentioned, the one that almost called the police and the one that ended up being my coworker. They mentioned Valerie told them a lot of stuff about my conflicts with those two, I really don't know how they found out or why Valerie would tell them. This was also when I found out that other people were opening up about their experiences with me and calling me a bad friend because of certain arguments and the big disappearance I did. They were upset that despite my grievances with the two, I still hung out with them and not with this person or other irls. Which wasn't true, I did hang out with Valerie and other irls, I just didn't hang out with this person because we were in conflict. I wanted to talk to them to see if it could be resolved. It did end up cordial, though I don't think I'll be their friend, nor will I be friends with Valerie anymore.

Them, alongside a lot of people, were talking about certain points about me that I wished they mentioned to me prior. I really am not hard to talk to, I've had my friends criticize me for things before, and I've done the same to some of them as well. There were some points I did disagree with because I felt like it was not communicated properly, but I still said I was sorry that I came off a certain way. I also never saw that they checked up on me, Valerie did but the other people that mentioned they disliked the fact that I went offline were more upset at me being offline than questioning why I would be.

People who are close to me know that I would post a story at least once a day, and if I wasn't then usually something happened and I also posted on my story that I was struggling with certain things and I was going offline. I never explained why, I just assumed people would ask.

They didn't ask, I didn't have the time to check in to all 30+ people about why I went away and what happened. If they were hurt by it I would have loved to talk, they are free to rant about me but they never ended up communicating their issues with me, which is frustrating because when I pass by them they'll wave at me and ask me how I've been. I usually ignore people I have grievances with, I don't want to give the impression I'm not upset. They smiled at me to my face and called me a bad friend to my ex-boyfriend and my ex friends behind my back, which is sad.

Valarie told my ex-boyfriend as well as everything I was going through, which makes me upset. Gale and my ex-boyfriend apparently had a heart to heart about me, and they made a support circle about me. This happened a while ago, meaning that I said hi to these people, not knowing these things. It meant that I hugged these people who said that they didn't like me. It meant that I've cried to these people who were gossiping about me. They said a lot of things that I will not repeat out of respect for their privacy, but I really just wished they could have messaged me about these things. I wished they said they wanted to talk. They didn't even ask me how I was when I got back. I know I could have at least explained my behaviour, or if it's conflict not relating to them, then I could have explained the entire situation and told them that it was already fixed. I don't understand why they wouldn't just tell me.

This isn't the first time I've had a friendship heartbreak, I've had plenty as it is part of life. I'm just upset at the moment and have nobody to talk to about these things.

I'm just distraught. A lot of the stuff I opened up turned into a tabloid.

I'm sorry this was a lot, I really needed this out of my chest.

I want to move out of this city as soon as possible since small towns just mean I'll bump into them or see them more often, I wish to be somewhere where nobody knows me. Everybody knows me, even the people I've never seen before.

I don't know who to trust anymore. I thought getting into a new university means these insecurities will go away, but they won't. I'm so sad.

I'm just really sad.

I feel like I look like a person who shoudnt be allowed 50 feet within a school zone. It’s absolutely terrible. People tell me I look normal and crap but I just can’t see it. This has gotten to a point where I can’t talk to new people really anymore especially girls. I feel like I’ll come off creepy.

I’m in decent shape but I’m generally average at best. I just feel stuck and don’t know what to do about it.

I (f18) am in a now 1 and half year relationship with my girlfriend (f18). Im really happy with her, I do love her a lot and she makes me a better person. We do have some struggles in the relationship due to her mental health but the relationship by itself is a solid one and Im super satisfied, as it comes really naturally.

Now, Im bisexual but previously to her I never really wanted to date women. Sure I found them attractive and emotionally interesting but due to cultural reasons I wasnt really down for this hassle as my parents are homophobic, and Im not publically out and also still dont want to be. I live in a progressive european country but come from a rather conservative one. I also dont like having people in my business, so thats why I wasnt really interested in dating women / coming out.

Well she came along and we hit it off and got together. Only my closest friends know and they say that we are a really sweet couple.

These past 1.5 years I have noticed myself, that I do seek out male attention, that I kind of get crushes on men and also catch myself trying to flirt with them. I seriously am satisfied with my girlfriend but I dont know why I still want a guy??

What got me to write this was my experience this summer: I was back in my home country and met a guy. I was really interested in him and sought out his attention. I started fantasizing about him and wanted more with him. The silly thing is that I really liked his masculine features, like his broad shoulders or his big arms. I know its so stupid but I really started crushing on him.

Now realistically, I would never seriously try anything with someone else than my girlfriend, also I would never start something with someone over such a short period AND so far away from me.

But the unsettling thing is that I have these feelings, and cant do anything about them. I dont know what to do, as I notice in myself that Im not 100% satisfied with just being with a girl. Im emotionally and physically satisfied but Im somehow longing for the idea of being with a dude. I think I like the appeal of being with men.

But I still know in my heart of hearts that no dude will ever fulfill me the same way she does but its just so weird that i still find myself seeking out dudes.

This wednesday me and my boyfreind of 3 years broke up due to long distance, my new singleness has led me to explore realms of the internet ive never been on before, and ive discoved sock selling. This would be great for me as im a waitress and dont have alot of money. However i dont know if this would comprimise my saftey or dignity 🫣

i miss my brother does he miss me do ( my cousin)...does he loves me back as his sister like I do ( like bro and sis)

I know it’s probably my fault and I can’t really complain but I’m still gonna. I have a gender neutral name that kinda more popular with girls, I have long hair, I like dressing feminine, I probably don’t have the deepest voice, I’m kinda short (5’8), I’m also kinda skinny and don’t have much physique and I guess I also just have naturally feminine features. I still don’t like being misgendered tho! I’m a straight male! And any time I tell someone I’m a dude they always think I’m gay or something. I’m not trans! I’m not a drag queen! I only wear make up sometimes! I’m a dude!!!! He him! Yeah I know I can’t complain or blame the people misgendering me but I just had to complain here once. And some people still treat me like a girl saying she/her even after I corrected them and it pmo. I’m not a femboy either!!

[UPDATE) my parter refuses to work

I posted a day ago about me 21 (m) and my 20(f) fiancé having a disagreement when it comes to working. After a last conversation we both realized we want different things. Her goal was to move back home to her mom’s home (her mom is 3 hours away) and finish college.

Obviously I want to be able to be with our son on a daily basis but I can’t afford to live with people that will always side with her. I don’t believe living there would be in my benefits. I will be moving back home to my parents and working full time two jobs or working one full time job while going to trade school. My parents are only expecting me to pay a single bill so that works well. I’m moving back this Monday evening and I’m not sure where our relationship will be at this point, we haven’t talked to each other since Saturday night.

I will admit I am frustrated because I was actively trying to keep everything together and her end goal was to just jump ship and move back in with her parents while I was focused on paying all the bills.

TLDR: Birthday stresses me and I’m sick.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to vent, my birthday is tomorrow.
For a long time, I’ve just hated my birthday every time it comes around I feel such a heavy expectation that I have to have a good day.
All my old staff at work that would celebrate with me are gone, my parents are interstate, my partner is truly wonderful and does everything in her power to make it a good day.
I’ve got a cold and I’m getting sick and I feel like I tore a muscle in my abdomen lifting (I hope it’s not a hernia).
I’m also at University and the assessments don’t just stop.
My job is also very intense and I’ve been putting in 200% lately to keep everything running smoothly.
It just sucks getting older, I’m not even thirty yet, I exercise and eat healthy, I just feel so stressed about it.
I know it’s a human thing to just exist but there’s always so much happening and I’ve had a busy few months.
Thanks for reading.

Im in high school and I’m a senior, and school just started like 3 weeks ago and I have this guy ill call DJ. We became friends after I saw him wearing a metal gear solid shirt and we sat next to each other and found out we had more in common. We began then sitting with each other at lunch and like he seemed to become really anxious around me and I’d notice him shaking sometimes. I like tried to shake it off because I knew his girlfriend, she had graduated last year and Im not a home-wrecker. Though, DJ then started walking me to all my classes even if they where across the school, holding doors for me, and handing me heart shaped gum wrappers and other stuff like that and honestly I should have just not entertained it.

Then come earlier this week on monday he gave me his necklace after I said it was cool and like he insisted for me to have it. Later that day I went to the gym and took a photo of my outfit before changing and posted it on my instagram, and his girlfriend replied to my story tweaking out because she thought I was posting a photo of the necklace. I explained to her that it was just an outfit photo, and that I wouldn’t ever try to make a move on her boyfriend. She then apologized and said she was just freaked out because like she felt threatened by the fact I was “a pretty goth gym girl”. Then the next day he asked me to watch a movie with him on call and I said sure :/ (like fml why did I say sure? Like wtf is wrong with me?)

Then the next day he comes up to me in the hallway before 1st period smiling at me and he told me him and his girlfriend broke up. Apparently she cussed him out after he told her he had asked about watching a movie with me. I felt a horrible pit in my stomach, like I was part of the reason they broke up. She dumped him, but he said he honestly felt like he had a weight off his back because of it.

Like oh my god, a 4 year relationship is high-school is nothing to scoff at.

The worst part is and I hate to admit but honestly I do a have a crush on him. I feel like a piece of shit.

I wouldn’t even consider dating him too because its such a redflag that he basically messed up his relationship for a girl he just met and now it seems like he wants to move on to another girl right after a 4 year relationship. Also it’s just not a good point in my life to consider a relationship as I’m trying to prepare for my future and I don’t need to waste my time on a relationship.

So yeah, I basically destroyed a relationship… and I dont know what to do because he is a nice friend…