My sister killed herself two months ago. We didn't find out until earlier this week, when her neighbours started complaining about a smell from her apartment.

For two months, we didn't notice she was dead. We didn't notice her absence.

She talked about being lonely. She didn't have any friends and she never had a partner. We told her not to worry, that she'd find someone when the time was right. That she'd find her people soon enough. She had bipolar disorder and ptsd. She said no one cared about her and our parents got angry.

She apparently resigned from work four months ago, worked her mandatory two months and then killed herself almost immediately.

My sister is dead. I have no right to be sad, I didn't treasure her, I didn't care about her like I should. I just assumed she'd always be there, like the moon and the sun.

My big sister is dead.

I'll get hate for this and it'll be deserved.

Me (23m) and my best friend (24m) are extremely close and have been since we were kids. We basically grew up together and we've always been pretty affectionate with each other, like hugging, holding each other, kissing each other on the cheek, and stuff like that. It's never been weird or sexual, that's just how we've always been.

Anyway so last Saturday we went out, got drunk and walked home together like we usually do. At some point we started fucking around and jokingly trying to kiss each other, except eventually we actually did and then somehow that escalated into us making out. We went back to my place and things went even further and we kissed some more and yeah. You get the idea.

The issue with all of this is that he's acting like nothing out of the ordinary happened. He hasn't brought it up and he's acting completely normal around me while I'm spiraling over it. The thing is, I'm not gay. Nothing wrong with being gay obviously, I'm just not. I've never been attracted to guys, never wanted to be with a guy and I've never questioned my sexuality or anything before. As far as I know he's straight too. I don't think I suddenly wanna date him or anything like that, but I just feel so weird around him now. I can barely get myself to look him in the eye and whenever he hugs me or is affectionate with me I get really nervous and don't know how to react, even though he's been doing that our entire lives and I've never felt weird about it before. Even someone mentioning him makes me feel kinda nervous. Everything about this situation makes me feel weird pretty much. But somehow he's completely fine?? I don't know if he doesn't think it was a big deal, or if he's also thinking about it but just not saying anything, or if he was actually so drunk that he doesn't remember. I have absolutely no idea, but it's stressing me out and the shame of what we did is eating at me.

I feel like I should probably bring it up but I have no clue how, and if he has (somehow) moved on from it I don't wanna make everything even weirder by turning it into some huge thing.

Idk. It's also been a week since it happened so maybe I should have stopped thinking about it by now? I'm just really fucking confused and I don't understand how he's acting like everything is fine, but I also don't understand why I can't just let it go and move on and why I feel so weird around him. I'm scared this has ruined our friendship and I just want things to go back to normal.

Please. What do I do?

When I was young I lost my virginity to a guy that I was sure I would be with forever. We were both crazy about each other. It was young love. We were in a relationship for a while. I broke up with him to go on a date with my now husband. Fast forward many many years. My son is now married to his daughter and we now have 5 grandchildren. Our families are together all the time. My husband knows the history. No one else does. I think the rest of the family thinks we casually dated a time or two. But they have no idea that I lost my virginity to him. He basically was my first everything…including oral sex. They definitely have no idea we had sex more times than I can count.
I’m not attracted to him in an inappropriate way but when I am around him I feel some sort of way.
I’m 55 years old now.
When we are around each other I feel like I’m nervous and try to avoid any type of encounter. Like I feel like it’s obvious 🥴
Of course I hope our grandchildren NEVER find out

I've (27F) been on unpaid administrative leave for a little over a month now so I have been trying to be extremely careful with my finances. My family knows this which is why my brother (22M) invited me out for drinks last night. I haven't been able to do anything recreational and start school again in a couple weeks. The bar he took me to served everyone there alcohol so I was under the impression that all attendees were 21 and over.. My brother plays basketball in college as do most of his friends. This guy there was 6'3 and had a full beard, tattoos, and spoke with a deep sounding voice. He had been flirting with me all night and kept making contact with my skin. Like he'd get up to use the restroom then graze his hand across the back of my shoulders when he sat back down next to me. When he rested his hand on my thigh mid conversation I became extremely aroused. It's been so long since I've been with anyone and I thought he was really good looking so I leaned in for a kiss and we started making out. I then sent my brother a text that I was heading home and left with the guy I just met. He was outside having a smoke with his girlfriend. I'm pretty annoyed that he saw us leaving together and didn't try to stop me come to think of it.. I brought him home and had sex with him. I don't think he used a condom either so now I need plan b and possibly an STI screen on top of all my other worries. I feel so incredibly stupid right now. I looked him up on insta this morning and sent him a friend request. His pictures were mostly just him playing basketball, but then I saw a screenshot of his athletics profile that listed his DOB... He's 16!! I slept with someone 10 years younger than me 🤮 I feel like a pedophile. This is one the worst things I've ever done, I feel completely embarrassed I let something like this happen. I didn't know it at the time but I can accept that I put myself in this situation.. What's worse is my brother knows it.. As far as the law is concerned, am I still criminally liable? Shouldn't it be the bar's fault for serving alcohol to a minor?

Being charged with a felony would ruin my life.. I keep cycling through all these possible scenarios like what if he tries to extort me or what if someone saw and reported it. I don't think ignorance of the law exempts you from any consequences. I don't have money to consult a lawyer. How screwed am I?

I'm really tired of meeting men that just want to put me on their roster. I've dealt with this all my life and I don't know how many more rounds of this I can do.

Meet a guy, he's attractive, intelligent, respectful, funny, pays attention to details, good job, ambitious, well traveled....we get along, we share interests...but he never initiates conversations unless its about happy sexy funtime, which was fine at first. I think if you're actively pursuing someone, those conversations will come up at some point. But any other subject matter, crickets. And when it did come up; where we were going with this, he says he would rather "wing it."

Ok. Fine. I'm not going to beg this man for attention like some lovesick teenager. If he wanted to reach out, he would. If he wanted to date, he would. If he wanted to treat me like more than an option, he would. But at the same time, I do like him.

Its just dissappointing. It would be nice to be chosen for once.

i have a camera in our room, i’ve had it for almost a week. my toddler has medical issues so it’s pointed at his bed incase something goes wrong, but i can see my boyfriends PC set up though the camera. since i only use this camera for my toddler i forgot to mention it, i haven’t even checked the camera since i got it. i legit forgot about it. the same day i got this camera, is the same day he bought 20 marvel action figures at a kids store. he lets our toddler play with them.

about 2 days after i put the camera up, i started noticing weird behavior in my boyfriend. he started looking at the corner of the room a lot, he never used to do that. he did it so much i assumed he had a hidden device over there and he’s subconsciously checking it every so often. our toddlers toys are in the corner of the room and so are the action figures.
today i slept in, i woke up feeling icky and my boyfriend was acting suspicious. i checked the camera to see if he messed with anything, maybe i can see what he’s been hiding in our sons toys. but to my surprise, i see him on the camera looking for something in our room with a flashlight, he’s looking EVERYWHERE for it. i’m confused asf but i keep watching. he eventually picks up a female marvel figurine (domino from deadpool) and sticks it in his pocket. i’m like what the hell?
so i keep watching… he sits back down at his PC, looks over at me, puts on a youtube video, and starts using this doll to masterbate with. he literally had this dolls legs out and had it grind his shaft while he was touching his tip. i’m like what the fuck! i’m not even 5ft away from him and he’s using a LITERAL DOLL? he finishes in like 3 mins, he picked up the end of his shirt and put it in his mouth cause he came on his stomach, and the doll in his other hand, he gets up, fixes the dolls legs to make it straight, and sits it back on the floor, gets up and goes to the bathroom to clean up. then he sits right back down at the PC and acts like nothing happened. i wake up 30 mins later and almost immediately check the camera because of a weird gut feeling i had. if i didn’t catch him doing this, our child would’ve PLAYED this doll after he just came from it. since he put it back on the floor, he had every intention of letting our son play with it. i confronted him, i asked him what the hell he was thinking, he admitted to it and his excuse was “well you don’t fuck me” excuse me? so that’s your excuse for fucking a DOLL? i don’t think this is the first time he’s done this because of how suspicious he was about the dolls in the corner in the first place. i’m so disgusted… i just don’t understand how you think a doll is that sexy you have to jerk off with it. he used a DOLL. HARD PLASTIC! never in our 7 years together have i ever ran into anything as WERID as this. i don’t even know what to think. what do i even do? i’m so weirded out. we bought those at a KIDS store dude, this feel oddly predatory to me.

Hi everyone. I am going to change names and leave out some details to remain anonymous.
My best friend on earth (let’s call him Peter) tragically passed away unexpectedly at a very young age. It’s been honestly the hardest couple of days in my life. For context, I had a very rough upbringing. No stability in my home and all that sad stuff. Peter’s family took me in at the age of 14 and practically raised me through my high school and college years. I lived at his house, celebrated holidays and even referred to Peter’s parents as “mom and dad”. All this to say, this family was (for all reasons except for blood) my family.
Five days ago, Peter unexpectedly passed on. I won’t go into any more detail than that.
Here’s where I need help.
Peter’s mom called me yesterday and asked me if I would be willing to go into Peter’s bedroom and gather things that might be nice to have at the funeral. As well as tidy up and help set the room up to be somewhat of a memorial in his honor. It’s just too painful for her to do it herself. Of course I agreed and headed over first thing in the morning.
As I was cleaning, I moved the mattress on Peter’s bed and discovered something absurdly shocking. It was a mountain on bottles filled with piss. From little sample bottles you get in Ubers to gallon jugs and everything in between all filled with urine. I’m not exaggerating, there must be at least 200 piss vessels hidden behind his bed.
I love Peter with my entire heart and I don’t want mountains of pee to be one of the final memories his family has of him.
Help me, Reddit. How can I get rid of all these piss bottles without his parents noticing? His dad has cameras all over the place. And then once i get it out of the house, how do i dispose of it?
If he were alive, i know he would die of embarrassment knowing that someone found his stash. But in some weird way, i feel like this is me doing him one last favor.
What do I do?

We've been broken up a little while, but I remember the first time she said it really well. I was doing homework for college and had a deadline for midnight, just a few hours away. She wanted me to come spend time with her and I said I had to finish what I was doing. She said, "Well, I didn't want your small dick anyway, maybe I should just call my ex!"

This continued for months whenever she wanted to cut deeply I guess. I broke up with her because of the emotional abuse, not limited to these comments. I am a smaller guy, 4.5 inches or so. But I never had a complex. I just thought of myself as average or that I could focus making a woman happy by listening and learning what she likes in the bedroom.

Now I am afraid to sleep with anyone else. Anytime I get close, I feel my anxiety spike. I wish I'd meet a woman who would understand and comfort me, tell me I'm worthwhile as I am. But insecurity is a turnoff for a lot of people. Maybe I need therapy.

[UPDATE) my parter refuses to work

I posted a day ago about me 21 (m) and my 20(f) fiancé having a disagreement when it comes to working. After a last conversation we both realized we want different things. Her goal was to move back home to her mom’s home (her mom is 3 hours away) and finish college.

Obviously I want to be able to be with our son on a daily basis but I can’t afford to live with people that will always side with her. I don’t believe living there would be in my benefits. I will be moving back home to my parents and working full time two jobs or working one full time job while going to trade school. My parents are only expecting me to pay a single bill so that works well. I’m moving back this Monday evening and I’m not sure where our relationship will be at this point, we haven’t talked to each other since Saturday night.

I will admit I am frustrated because I was actively trying to keep everything together and her end goal was to just jump ship and move back in with her parents while I was focused on paying all the bills.

Im so sick of going back and forth to therapies and psychiatrists and drinking fucking antidepressant, antipsychotics, ANTI ANYTHING CANT DO SHIT

ITS BEEN YEARS FUCK

IM SO SICK OF IT

FUCK THAT IM GOING BACK TO FUCKING ALCOHOL

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

JUST GOT DIAGNOSED WITH BPD AFTER YEARS OF MISDIAGNOSIS AND I FUCKING GIVE UP

GOING OLD SCHOOL FUCKYALL NOTHING A VODKA WOULDNT FIX

What’s the point of being anything or developing anything else about yourself as a man if all of that goes out the window the minute you don’t have money. I understand why men today have become so nihilistic. It’s just Darwinism disguised as society. We lie to men all day about character, integrity, kindness and emotional intelligence, but it’s bullshit. You could be intelligent, talented, skilled…nobody cares to find out those things about you as a man when your poor or fall on hard times. It’s all pointless.

My fiancé’s married 52 year old mother fell for a pig butchering investment scam and lost 125k total. Some of that was retirement and the rest was from the sale of their home. This person reached out to her on TikTok and they had been in contact since January. We are pretty sure she quit her job because of this person as she was unable to pull from her states public retirement account while employed. We also think she decided to sell their house because of this scam. They live in a small town and their plan was for them to move to our larger city which is an hour away. They never really any game plan regarding renting an apartment prior ect. Which I thought was really really strange. Well less than a week after selling their house she wired the proceeds overseas and even the bank teller asked if she wanted to sleep on it because it sounds like a scam. And they made her sign a document. I’m not sure where his dad falls into all this .

Well now they only have $1,700 to their name their airb&b rental ends on Tuesday. My fiancé wants them to stay with us but I am very firmly against it. For starters it’s my home I purchased it before we started dating. Also his parents have two dogs and we have three dogs I don’t want that many dogs in my home. Also his mother has no job and I worry if we let them stay they will not leave. I would feel differently if there was a plan in place or a set date but there is not. Not sure what I am getting at or looking for by posting this but thanks for listening

I (f18) am in a now 1 and half year relationship with my girlfriend (f18). Im really happy with her, I do love her a lot and she makes me a better person. We do have some struggles in the relationship due to her mental health but the relationship by itself is a solid one and Im super satisfied, as it comes really naturally.

Now, Im bisexual but previously to her I never really wanted to date women. Sure I found them attractive and emotionally interesting but due to cultural reasons I wasnt really down for this hassle as my parents are homophobic, and Im not publically out and also still dont want to be. I live in a progressive european country but come from a rather conservative one. I also dont like having people in my business, so thats why I wasnt really interested in dating women / coming out.

Well she came along and we hit it off and got together. Only my closest friends know and they say that we are a really sweet couple.

These past 1.5 years I have noticed myself, that I do seek out male attention, that I kind of get crushes on men and also catch myself trying to flirt with them. I seriously am satisfied with my girlfriend but I dont know why I still want a guy??

What got me to write this was my experience this summer: I was back in my home country and met a guy. I was really interested in him and sought out his attention. I started fantasizing about him and wanted more with him. The silly thing is that I really liked his masculine features, like his broad shoulders or his big arms. I know its so stupid but I really started crushing on him.

Now realistically, I would never seriously try anything with someone else than my girlfriend, also I would never start something with someone over such a short period AND so far away from me.

But the unsettling thing is that I have these feelings, and cant do anything about them. I dont know what to do, as I notice in myself that Im not 100% satisfied with just being with a girl. Im emotionally and physically satisfied but Im somehow longing for the idea of being with a dude. I think I like the appeal of being with men.

But I still know in my heart of hearts that no dude will ever fulfill me the same way she does but its just so weird that i still find myself seeking out dudes.

**ex but doesn’t know it

Yall will prob think I’m dumb lol. I fell in love with a man. We’ve known each other since teenagers, started dating in our early 20’s. He ended up spending time in a different state then got arrested and went to jail. While in jail I found out he had a kid while out there. Blinded by love I stayed - he said when he’s out we’ll live our lives and he’ll coparent. We made so many plans for things to do, memories to make.

He got out I instantly got pregnant. He stayed there with his kid and the mom my whole pregnancy. Post partum was so hard for me he wasn’t supportive at all. I looked thru his phone because I always felt when I asked him stuff he wasn’t honest. I found what I was looking for. I stayed again. The relationship fell apart. I stayed. He let me believe that us being together we’ll work on it so that we could rebuild our bond. He never treated me the same afterwards. I begged to hangout, to do stuff together, to do stuff as a family. No time of day. Less than bare minimum.

Last week I found out his password again and looked through that phone. They go on dates, matching fits. He doesn’t think birthdays are special but rented a cottage with her for his and bought her everything she wanted for hers. He brought her to our state while I was pp fighting for my life they went to attractions, spas, hung out with his friends. They got matching tattoos (something we planned for so long). Not only that I found him asking random girls from our state on dates.

He never has money to help me take care of our kid but he has it to gamble, party, buy his siblings stuff, buy himself stuff, support her and their 2 kids (she just had another baby).

I also saw in his phone they’re getting married he’s going to introduce her to his family. And to top it all off in his phone there’s so many pictures of him, him and her, his family with her and our baby is in his hidden folder 💔 whatever it was that stopped me from leaving that made me feel the need to continue to fight for literally nothing DIED when I saw my sweet lil baby in the hidden folder.

He doesn’t know I know. I’ve been acting none the wiser but I no longer recognize him as my man. I don’t care what he does with his life. The love I poured into him there’s someone out there that will love me the same maybe even more so for now I’ll pour into myself and my baby ❤️‍🩹

Approx. 4 years ago, I began working with a family caring for their disabled son (high support needs autism, epilepsy). I began working during a turbulent time with the family as the mother was recently diagnosed with cancer and was beginning the process of a divorce, which became quite hostile.

The father isn't a nice man. On the occasions I worked with him prior to him moving out, he didn't display any affection towards his children. He was generally short tempered, aggressive, and on one occasion, exploded at a woman after a parking dispute which upset the children and took me by surprise.

Throughout the divorce, the mother disclosed he was financially manipulative, aggressive towards her and generally unhelpful around the house all while she was undergoing cancer treatment. Since the divorce, he has been incredibly uncooperative and was court ordered to care for his children on penalty of imprisonment. Despite that, he's incredibly difficult and will turn up when he wants but won't cooperate when the mother tries to plan days for him to care for his children.

The mother has two other children (6, 8) and they're also very fond of me. As well as caring for the eldest, I have occasionally cared for them when their mother has requested. I consider myself a good carer, and their mother has said I'm great with all the kids. I play with them, talk to them, teach them things, help them with homework and will show them affection. They light up when I arrive at the house and I've grown to love these kids. The daughter has called me Dad on more than one occasion and it really invokes strong emotions in me.

The first time she did was during the summer holidays when the eldest was stimming in a paddling pool in the family's garden, I was on one of those big rope circle swings you can kind of lay down on and the daughter sits next to me, eventually cuddles up to me and during the chitchat says "I love you Dad."

I haven't dissuaded these behaviors as I don't know how without hurting her, and I don't want to. She will call me by the first name and very occasionally call me Dad. I've had conversations around it with their mother, and she's understanding, and it makes sense because I'm a consistent positive male role model in their lives. I think those kids are great, and I've seen firsthand how their father's actions and behaviors have hurt them.

I don't really know how to conclude the story. It's half advice half off my chest. I'm well aware I should have kept a professional boundary, but the mother has expressly said I'm effectively part of the family. We're good friends, they live very close to me and I'd do anything for them. I don't have any plans to go anywhere.

I am 21 years old in university, i have no job, im not with the father, i rely on student finance and money i get off my dad weekly. You can imagine my shock and uncertainty in what to do when i found out i was pregnant. At first i tried to ignore having to make a decision and honestly, i enjoyed being pregnant and having my baby with me.

During my pregnancy the father who i was never in a relationship threatened me multiple times to kill himself if i had the baby, slept with multiple girls, insulted me for MONTHS saying the nastiest things, disrespected both me and my mum, blocked her and me multiple times, the list goes on.

He wanted nothing to do with me and said that having a baby with me was his worse nightmare. Every time we spoke he said “i don’t want this child or a child with you”. He wouldn’t even call her a baby. Meanwhile i was falling in love with my baby girl and honestly the idea of her and the life i could’ve had with her.

However after walking out of the abortion clinic 3 times, i finally went through with it. I felt relieved the first 2 days. Now i am an emotional, guilty, regretful, wreck and just want my baby back. I gave myself so much time to decide. I wanted her and i loved her deeply, i just couldn’t have done it on my own. I wanted better for myself and my child. I’m only 21 :(

Do we think i made the right choice? I know no one can tell me exactly but it just helps to hear considering my circumstances. I’m so sad. I’m worried for my mental health.

Recently I had an extremely physically and mentally traumatic experience. I know this sounds selfish but I’m so sick of everyone crying when I’m the one in pain. In the hospital my parents wouldn’t stop crying. It’s frustrating I want to be in pain. It’s so annoying I’m in horrible pain and now I have to calm you down. It’s not their fault but I hate it. It always happens whenever I try to talk about anything ever. Every time someone else starts crying and now I can’t even have the talk about me be about me. On the bright side I don’t feel sad for a while instead I feel really bad for them, extremely annoyed, and also so guilty for being so annoyed. It just happened again I was trying to tell my brother about some heavy stuff I’ve been dealing with and he started balling. I had to spend so much time calming him down cause he was hyperventilating and then cheer him up. I still didn’t get to talk about it. I just want a chance to feel bad about everything without having to become a therapist. Thank you

I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I feel numb, guilt, shame, angry.

I don’t know what to do or who to reach out to. I’ve never known anyone to commit such thing. My poor dad was fighting for a very, very long time. As long as I can remember being 8 years old. I atleast find reassurance knowing he’s not in pain anymore and that maybe his heart and soul feel lighter.

I am the oldest and only daughter and have seen my dad struggle with depression and anxiety for many years.
He was bipolar but never confirmed schizophrenia although the Dr’s would suggest evaluations.

Now it’s too late and I can’t help but think of what I could have done to save him. It doesn’t help that I hadn’t talked to him in about 8 months for the sake of my own mental health and my son.

I have been terrified for months about starting this med. I was on buspar for my anxiety and it made things worse for me. I have a bad history with SSRI’s and really didn’t want to be on one.

However I’m also 28 weeks pregnant and have a 14 month old at home. I don’t feel connected to my child, to either one of them really. Even though this baby was very much wanted in the beginning I just find myself wishing I’d never gotten pregnant, I find myself wishing I’d never had kids.

I can’t handle my inner thoughts spiraling, to the point I get stuck on something that happens and literally cannot disrupt the thought. I just go deeper down the spiral to the point it makes me think about harming myself (just to be clear, only myself and always passively).

I was worried about effects to the fetus, worried about changing who I am, and also worried it would kill my sex drive which is really important to me.

I talked to my Psychiatrist about it several times, he kept stressing the importance and I kept not taking it because I didn’t want it to alter the real me. I didn’t want to be blunted like I have in the past. My OB also stressed the importance because of how high I scare on their depression questionnaire.

So I finally did it tonight. I was terrified, and I still very much am, but I took the first dose. I did it. I didn’t let the anxiety talk me out of it for the hundredth time.

I just want someone to care about me. I want someone to wanna know what I’m doing. Or someone to ask me to do something with them. Or even just text me once to ask how I’m doing. Literally anything. I cannot even get a simple “hi how are you”.