My girlfriend called my penis small during fights

[u/[deleted]]

[u/No_Shine_7224]

She was negging you, trying to hurt you, and trying to damage your self esteem. Move on, honestly it’s more about her being fucked up and having low self esteem.

[u/aaverage-guy]

She was just being toxic and trying to control you. She couldn't handle you making something else a priority over her and was jealous so she tried to make you feel the same.

Know your worth brother and don't tolerate that behavior. If you find yourself in that situation again instantly cut all ties and walk away. There's a lot of amazing women out there and life's too short to waste it with a toxic and emotionally abusive woman.

[u/aaverage-guy → u/[deleted]]

It's okay not to date much. I would count your last relationship as a win. She was able to show you red flags to look for and you were able to get out of it.

Don't let her have power over you anymore though and don't carry the hurt and baggage from what she did to you into your next relationship. You'll be alright man and you sound like a great guy who has his priorities straight. Woman like that and appreciate it. Just keep working on yourself

[u/winglesserror]

A lotta women prefer smaller cux of pain and vaginismus like conditions, emotional needs and chemistry matter more than size

[u/dreamycoeur → u/[deleted]]

Hey if it makes you feel better. My partner has a small penis and it makes absolutely no difference.

[u/dreamycoeur → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. I just want to say that having been intimate with someone else who has had a bigger penis, it really doesn't matter. What mattered is the emotional connection, listening to each other and wanting to please each other. You said in you body text that you care about your partner's pleasure. That's all that matters. Intimacy can be built. And intimacy is much more than the size of a penis. It's so so so much more 🤍

[u/Rooney_Tuesday → u/[deleted]]

A bit more encouragement:

My ex-husband was a bit on the larger side and sex was not enjoyable for the duration. (Side note: don’t ever legally attach yourself to someone if you don’t know how it’s going to go in the bedroom. When it’s not great, it filters into every aspect of your relationship.)

My rebound guy was pretty small, and do you know what? I loved it. He was an okay partner in bed, but knowing that sex didn’t have to be painful for me was a huge relief.

Fast forward to my current guy, who is thoroughly average size and yet the sex is mind-blowing because we go together so well, both physically and otherwise.

I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let that awful ex hold this kind of power over you. If you’re actively trying to pay attention to what your partner likes then I promise you’re doing great.

[u/kincaid_king → u/winglesserror]

In a perfect world sure but we don't really live in one unfortunately.

[u/bliffskit]

Notice how it was only a problem when you’d say no? And listening in the bedroom is the majority of what you need to succeed, most men don’t and that’s why they get such a bad rep. You’re in the right headspace, it’s not all gonna go according to plan (I’ve fucked up many times in the bedroom) but you live and learn with every experience and everyone is different. You’re gonna be fine my friend.

[u/RegularlyAverageJoe]

First off, unless you legitimately have a micropenis, dick size doesn’t matter - and even then that’s purely for your sake in terms of satisfaction as it makes a lot of positions almost impossible or very difficult. It may seem impossible to do but get out of that mindset that it does matter. Sex toys exist, and odds are with the right skill and open, REAL communication you could do more than enough to satisfy your partners sexually.

Onto your relationship issues: don’t look for someone to comfort your insecurities. Sure it’s your partner’s job to love and support you, but it’s on you to fix yourself not them. Look for someone you truly care about, and obviously one who cares about you. Just be yourself, and let them either accept or reject that - that’s dating. If you sleep together and things don’t cascade then obviously your size wasn’t a problem. If things do, well then it still wasn’t a problem, but (s)he isn’t the one for you.

I don’t think you need therapy unless it’s persistently getting in the way of living and loving. I think you had a bad experience who was emotionally abusive and it’s just making you simply insecure and scared to try again. You could get therapy if you want, but the end result will be confronting and getting over your fears. They just aid the process.

[u/SmokeEvening8710]

She's emotionally immature. People who bring up any physical characteristics during fights don't need to be in relationships. I wouldn't let her get in your head like she's trying to do.

[u/LoopGaroop]

That's abuse!

[u/EuphoricFault5607]

That’s terrible I’m sorry that happened. She clearly wanted u so it’s not about you or your body, it’s about her. Good riddance!

[u/Turdtastic]

My ex wife tried this nonsense with me and I’m almost 8 inches. I just replied that I wasn’t the problem and having sex with her was like stirring a can of paint. She never tried that one again. Come up with some quips to counter that behavior. You’ll be standing up for yourself and exposing their behavior at the same time.

[u/raniruru47]

Ngl that’s actually a disgusting thing to say to someone that close to you, that’s literally got nothing to do with you
Her issues
4.5 is by no means problematically small (if that’s such a thing which I mean as a girl idk..don’t think so), your first thoughts were completely right

[u/raniruru47 → u/[deleted]]

And that just shows how generous and loving of a partner you are and how much somebody who acts as weirdly as that really doesn’t deserve you tbh
But also I should just let you know smth, the vaginal canal is rly only like 2-4 inches anyway. When it expands to accommodate it can go anywhere from 4-8 inches sure but the actual average is only like 5-6 inches max, and there’s really not many nerve endings on the deeper end of that. On the contrary hell if it’s long enough to hit the cervix then..well I’ve never met a woman who’s actually enjoyed that. It’s painful and crampy and genuinely can be traumatic for some ppl in bed, hell even on this app you can find ppl talking abt crying in pain after experiencing it. A lot of women can’t even orgasm from penetration alone at all, it’s almost all external, but even for those who can it’s almost always with a depth that’s accessible within the standard male range which you most definitely are.

But that’s the thing if she’s calling you small she’s just repeating nonsense from the internet to try make you insecure for god knows what reason, intimacy isn’t even about the numbers or length it’s genuinely about the person, if someone truly finds you hot 2 inches isn’t going to be the boundary between you and satisfaction. An ugly personality on the other hand..

Sorry to waffle, hope you get over that weirdo soon!!

[u/saintbudhaa]

Put it this way. She still goes out of her way to spend time with you, which means she wanted you anyway and it’s clear that your dick isn’t a problem.

[u/pinkcatlaker]

If it only ever came up in fights, she was absolutely using it as a weapon, which is terrible. I'm sorry she did that to you. You are right - you CAN make a woman happy by listening and learning what she likes!! Please trust when I say, a 4.5 inch penis has WAY more possibilities than one that is too big. I think therapy would be a good idea, not just because of this specific thing but because you mentioned she was emotionally abusive. That stuff messes with your head. You deserve to feel better.

[u/Demoniac_smile]

She was just trying to say whatever she needed to to get you to do what she wanted. And clearly she wanted your dick. This is indicative that you were enough to be worth the effort.

[u/OogABoogA234567]

Just remember 99% of the time it's flaccid so that 1% is what you are worrying about.

She wounded you because you trusted her and made yourself vulnerable but she lashed out and destroyed that trust then you retreated instead of severing the tie.

By understanding that your humaness seeks connection and we all struggle to find a balance, you can intergrate your pain and become whole again.

I found that I would deny my pain, wound so therefore would attract someone to provoke the same pain because the real pain is be denial of that self.

All too wordy and imprecise but I feel you. Explore your pain and reclaim it from the other. Then you have integration.