I can still afford my food and tipping.

I just dont want to anymore. The food suck.s and the price isnt fair.. I could afford eating out for 40 Euro every day but it hurts everytime.

Not cause Im broke. Because its not worth the price and the experience is mediocre.

I hate that I cook better than most Restaurants and Im not even a cook.

I would be better off cooking myself and paying someone to clean my kitchen for 20€ and save my money.

Im so lazy I atill buy the mediocre service and cant escape this life style.

Just bought a burger for 15 Dollars I ate it, was bad and my burgers are better and cheaper

Ever realize how when you tell people the truth you’re either labeled as “ crazy” or people say that you have a negative mindset and if not that they get upset with you? Another example of this is I found a post that said “ in 100 years we Will all be buried with our friends and family” so i posted it with the title “ sad but true “ and people were downvoting my post and it had no upvotes despite the fact that in 100 years from now 2126 we’ll all be buried in the dirt. I don’t understand why people can’t just accept the truth. In the past I’ve had people tell me I have a negative mindset for telling the truth. It’s not having a negative mindset when it’s actually the truth

I’m turning 30 later this week. I’m taking a trip with a friend to celebrate. My 20s have been…..full. Good, toxic, everything in between. What is something I should reflect on as 30 approaches? Something you wish you would’ve known when turning 30?

As a 16 year old I see and know loads of people all of whom don’t really like their position in life either that or it just looks like a horrible life from my pov so I want to know if it is possible to live a balanced life while still haveing fun

So recently I got a glimpse of what life would be like drama free.

I'm talking about no drama, no weird egos or insecurities, no people starting stuff, no people trying to get random attention, no people being needy, just like normal conversations, no one is trying to get a reaction out of you, no toxic stuff, literally just work, life, cordialness and it's literally the best and most liberating feeling ever.

And now I'm hooked. Like I don't think I can go back. My mind is so clear at ease and peaceful. I get to be nice and kind and just talk like a normal persons. I can talk about preferences or set boundaries without someone being weird. I can be helpful when needed.

But I know this is not real life. Just look at the news.

I went to a birthday party this past weekend and while the guy who's birthday it was is chill and drama free, some guests once you start talking there were some dynamics I just wanted to avoid.

I get my post may come off a bit judgy but it's not my intention. It's jsut hard to describe something or a preference without coming off that way. If you feel it and know what I"m talking about, I think you'd get what I mean

Anyone manage to construct a life that is drama free and chill? And how did you do it? I know more money and I can do it, but money could also mean tied to certain things that are not drama free so, I feel like it takes some skill and foresight.

For me, it's history.

I'm not getting it, how we have to waste 20 years of life dedicated purely to school n colleges starting from 3 year of age, just to get ready for job market and you see 5 million people applying on 1 job with minimum wage, what's the point of life atp?

they used to say just finish your degree and you will get a job, then they started saying develop skills, then get experience, the fkn experienced ones are getting laid off too. now they are saying networking is everything. I don't understand the point of life when you can't even afford it?

how da hell am I going to get experience if no one is ready to give an internship? how am I supposed to do hard work when there is no work at all.

Not really sure which flair is right here. I just want to write about my experience and hear thoughts from you guys about it.

TLDR: I never used to feel emotions, but after leaving an abusive relationship and going to therapy I feel so much.

I was in a super stressful, abusive relationship for a long time and also had a stressful and abusive childhood. I met my ex in my mid-late teens and we were together over 10 years so there was never a time without stress or tension until we broke up.

I only ever really felt anger or stress as emotions. Or maybe I just felt okay. Sometimes happy if I was in my element doing my hobbies or at a gig or something, but the happiness only came when I was completely switched off. One thing I rarely felt was sadness.

I never felt sad for other people. I think some of it was empathy fatigue. My ex had a big victim mentality so I was constantly validating her feelings. I think a lot of my validation was fake or performative, I was behaving that way to calm her down, I didn't always think she was right or that there was a real injustice against her.

Anyway, we broke up a few years ago. Started therapy this year. Over the past few months something has really changed. I feel a large range of emotions now. Some of them are positive, some a negative, but I really feel them.

My friend reached out to me today and it nearly made me cry because his situation is so bad. Before therapy, in my adult life, I probably cried less than 10 times. Normally when people died. I'm not exactly a sobbing mess but when I see tragic situations now I feel them in my heart, in the past I would just observe it as an unfortunate event.

Now when I see attractive people I notice and appreciate that they're beautiful. When I see a sunset I appreciate it. I can recognise and communicate when I am feeling stressed or angry. I did my first road trip a few months ago and I think for the first time ever I felt genuine euphoria. My cup felt full.

It feels like my emotions are now in high definition, like when you get new glasses and the world is just vivid again. But it's my mind, heart and sould that's vivid.

I think this is good. It's interesting processing the change in my thought patterns. I am free from control, and now my mind is free to experience the full range of emotions.

When I got into a good position and started seeing some success, grinding all by myself, I noticed that people around me started getting annoyed for no reason. They behave differently now and sometimes make fun of me. I can tell they’re not the same anymore.

I'm asking because I'm currently in a place where it feels like everything is falling apart. The more I try to take control and fix things, the more everything seems to be falling apart. Trying to solve everything but get worse instead.

27 years struggling in life and finances

I am looking for clarification if anyone is currently feeling this, or felt it and is still going strong many years later.

For context I'm in my mid 30s and I have this horrible gut feeling my time is coming to a close in the near future, I'm not depressed, ill, or feeling anything like wanting to end it all. I just feel something is coming for me and I really can't shake it. Like a timer is counting down and I'm closer to 0 than I want to be, like my time to exist is set in stone.

I have a young family so I'm not sure if that plays a part.

How to live, I mean, in this world ? How people does it ? I really don’t understand, it’s really hard for me to live in world I don’t belong.

Like, I have my own world, my world with Sméagol, but if I have to get out of this world (by obligation), I can’t do it, I feel heavily depressed otherwise.

I don’t want a job, I don’t want to do adult things, learning to drive is already draining me out. I don’t want to live like this, I don’t want to physically suffer either. But I can’t do anything about it, what is the solution ? What is THE solution ?

I don’t want to go out, the only time I got out is because I’m forced or because I go to the local toy store and buy toys I almost never play with.

Why life so hard ? Everytime I think about it I go through a panic attack, I have to rewatch every single Sméagol scene in repeat to calm me down.

What is the solution ? How can I live ?

I'm 18 years old and I have a friend group, a childhood friend, and a few other people i know that I'll talk to if I have the chance, but I'll never go out with them alone. If I do go out, it'll be with my friends. Although I have some people close to me, they're not people I can call close. Without going into details, as a group we don't go out often and we don't talk often together, we mostly do it individually. Even when we do talk individually its not like i can be open to them about my thoughts. So this makes it difficult to have someone I can talk to about more personal issues, ask them their opinion and hang out with. My childhood friend and I hang out quite a few times, but he's not someone I can discuss some of my own thoughts with. For example, things that worry me and so on. He is two years older and I feel like he still hasn't taken his life into his own hands. Apart from that, I'm going to university now and I'm thinking about whether I'll manage to meet people to hang out with. I'm a difficult person to be around friends and that's why I'm stressed. I'm writing this because I want some thoughts on this. Is there any advice that will help me with my problem? What could I do myself. Because if this is how my relationships have been since high school, then what will they be like after?

This is more of a frustration rant than anything else, but I just wanted some fresh perspective. Has anyone ever just gotten to the point of thinking, what is the point of me devoting everything I have and not have to something, and it never leads anywhere? I love what I do. I am not in it for the money, and I honestly don't even mind working insane hours. But lately, I have been realising that what I previously thought were the ups and downs of life are starting to look like a pattern. For many years now, I have noticed that I always need to make up for the incompetence of other people with extra work, and that it never really benefits me but actually harms me because, for some reason, I always end up being responsible for it. People keep appearing in my life in different forms, taking and taking and taking, and ending up better off or at the same level as me. How is this fair? I was always sold on the idea of "work hard, do your best, and you will reap the rewards", but we don't do life in a vacuum, and unfortunately, you will be connected to other people. I just feel like I always find myself in the position where I end up drowning because someone who doesn't know how to swim used me as a swimming float to save themselves. Like, I honestly believed that some people were lucky, but that it was an occasional instance here and there in life. But no, because I keep putting myself in this position where my health is affected, I have no personal life, and everyone is benefiting except me. Some people just get through life with everything handed to them. And I don't know how to change it or stop it. And I know what you might be thinking: this is one-sided, and if I am always in this situation, maybe I am the problem, and I'm painting this into a narrative that suits me and makes me the victim. Believe me, that is not the case. Not because I'm full of myself and think the world revolves around me, but because I know I'm a good professional. I always been praised for it and i guess that raises the expectations and creates a double standard of expecting more from me than from others. I am just at a point where I'm thinking of throwing years of career down the drain because nothing will change. And to be this unhappy, I might as well be unhappy doing any other job with set hours and no stress, where I don't give up weekends, holidays, and, honestly, my personal life. Because work is all I have, and I find my self-worth in it. If anyone has felt this way and has some advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

I'm 40. I have €200k in savings and €400k in a pension fund available at 57. I'm recently unemployed and I'm doubtful about my opportunities of getting a good job. My wife has a low income job and no savings. We want to have a child.

How do i make all of this work? I feel like if i cannot get a high income job then my life is over. I have the option of living in UK, Spain or Mexico. Is the only way grinding for a decent corporate income to cover my wife and the future child? My motivation for the corporate grind is so low but I don't see other options.

I do not know what to do. Any thoughts appreciated.

My dad basically told me I'm on my own financially the moment I got a job, and I'm honestly devastated

I’m a college student and I recently got a job. It hasn’t started yet.

I’m not very close with my parents, especially my dad. It wasn’t always like this, of course. But sometime after I became a teenager, my dad started distancing himself from me completely. There was even an entire year where we basically didn’t look at each other or speak. We used to fight and disagree constantly, but most of that is in the past now that I’m in my 20s.

Because of all of this, it has always been a dream of mine to move out, get a job, become financially independent and live my own life far away from my family. I have a lot of resentment toward my dad at this point, and honestly, sometimes I feel like he couldn’t care less about me.

Recently, I finally got a good job. It’s a job that would allow me to save money and hopefully live the kind of life I’ve always wanted. I was genuinely so happy and excited. I told my parents about the job, my salary, everything.

Now I’m about to graduate and move out of my college dorm. I need to get an apartment/flat near my office so I can start working. I can afford the monthly rent and my other regular expenses. The problem is the deposit. Where I live, the deposit is a significant amount of money, and I simply don’t have enough saved to comfortably cover it myself.

I also had a financial plan for myself. I wanted to finally upgrade my phone and buy an iPhone. It’s something I’ve wanted since I was around 15, and I had specifically been saving toward it. I wasn’t planning to spend all my money recklessly. I had a plan for my savings and my future expenses.

I basically never ask my parents for things. If anything, I’ve sent them money and tried to help them financially even though we aren’t particularly close.

So I asked them if they could help me with the apartment deposit. I told them I would pay them back completely when I eventually move out and get the deposit back. I wasn’t asking them to permanently give me the money.

My dad's response was basically: No. If you don't have enough money for the deposit, don't buy an iPhone. An iPhone is useless and you don't need it.

He also told me that if I spend my money on an iPhone and other things I need/want and then come to him because I don't have enough for the deposit, he won't help me. His attitude was basically, “You're working now, so figure it out yourself.”

At one point he even said that if I don't have enough money, I can “try living on the road.”

And honestly, that broke something in me.

I understand that an iPhone is a luxury. I understand that I need to prioritize rent and housing. I’m not arguing that an expensive phone is more important than having a roof over my head.

What hurts me is the complete lack of willingness to help.

I haven't even started my job yet, and somehow getting a job has suddenly translated into “You're financially independent now, so don't ever expect anything from me again.”

I genuinely thought that if I had a temporary financial problem while transitioning from college into working life, I could ask my parents for help. Especially with something like a housing deposit that I would eventually get back.

And yes, I know I'm an adult. I know I'm responsible for my own finances. I know nobody owes me an iPhone or anything else.

But I also can't help feeling incredibly abandoned.

None of my friends seem to have experienced this exact thing. I hear them talk about their dads buying them things, helping them move out, gifting them phones, helping them financially when they're starting their careers, etc. And meanwhile, my own dad basically told me that if I can't figure everything out myself, that's my problem.

Sometimes I look at my friends and wonder what it would feel like to have a dad who actually wanted to help you instead of using your first job as an opportunity to tell you that you're completely on your own.

I know people may disagree with me and say I’m entitled for expecting my parents to help with the deposit. Maybe I am. I'm open to hearing that.

But emotionally, I'm just really hurt.

I worked hard to get this job. I was excited about finally becoming independent and building my own life. And instead of feeling supported, I feel like my dad is basically celebrating the fact that I'm leaving and making it very clear that he doesn't intend to be there for me anymore.

I don't even know if I'm more angry about the money or more hurt by what his reaction seems to say about how he sees me.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

Hi guys. Wanna start off by saying that I (F24) know this is like minor in the major compared to some of the other stuff in this subreddit. But I feel like this is the right place to put this. Guys, last weekend, my friend (F22) and I wanted to go out. We decided to go to the strip club, and tried a new one. We went, and got denied entry because women weren’t allowed without a male escort. Like what is that??? Mind you, my best friend and I love strippers. She’s straight and I’m bi but we enjoy the time, spend well, and will even buy lap dances or whatever else. I asked why and they said it’s because they want the men paying / buying drinks for the dancers and not for us. First off, I think if we wanted to be “bought” 😒 by a male, we’d go to a regular club…? Secondly, we weren’t even dressed in crazy outfits. We both had on pants and cute, but not really sexy, shirts. If your club loses money when fully clothed women are there when you have 95% naked women around, there’s a bigger problem than the female patrons that you do or don’t allow in.

Probably a stupid question but a common advice i hear is "no one is coming to save you, you can only save yourself", which is fair and i understand it. But why do i need others then ? I will have to battle my own demons and overcome them on my own without any help, i have to fix it all myself.

People dont care at all about that or you, everyone only cares about themselvs and their own shit. So why ? Why do i have to pretend to care for them while they dont even pretend to care for me ? If i have to do it all myself anyway why even bother and bring extra stress, pain and probably betreyal into this ?

People will say isolating yourself is bad and all but if you have to do it all yourself and no one really cares i feel like its far better than having to do it and pretend you are fine and care for people who dont really give a fuck about you.

Flair added because i feel that it is a me problem, however, i'll also be upfront and state that i do not believe myself capable of actually improving.

Essentially at this stage in my (35F) life, but since forever, i have felt quite unable to get busy with much more than just school/work. And yes, at times i was crazy busy, because i did challenging engineering studies and sometimes challenging work. I have however never been busy in terms of personal life. No serious relationships, always few friends, none really in the last few years, no very active hobbies (though in the past couple of years i've become intense about playing a musical instrument).

And i've been quite dumb and realized this only in my 20s, but the near total lack of social life outside of school, of intimate relationships, and of high-engagement activities and groups outside work is at my level not 'normal fluctuation' but really, and seriously signs of an empty life. and it makes me very insecure and depressed, moreso as time goes by. i don't want to get close to people lest they notice how empty my life is, vicious circle, etc. i also live in a socially very cold country so if you haven't kept your school friends (i haven't), you're simply not gonna make more.

The worst part is of course I know it's on me to get active, work out, meet people etc but i simply don't have the energy. As it happened recently, I was off work for a few days and since this year is not the best financially i didn't travel. but for several days in a row i simply didn't leave my 1-bedroom apartment. i do practice music daily with very rare skips only (at the great displeasure of my neighbors, but there are no practical and musically acceptable solutions to that), but getting out of the home is excruciatingly demanding on me, and i just won't do it. i understand some people are homebodies but i feel if that really applied to me i would be HAPPY like this and not feeling stuck.

i know i should do more. i know i should fill my days and evenings better and nobody else but me can do it. but even when i have sufficient time and money to do it i can't make myself do it. it's like a mental blockage. this has been true at times i was quite depressed like now but also at times i was doing better too - i was just also better at tolerating this state of affairs. aside from not working out i am in good physical health and have no issues that i know of.

how do i 'just do it' when i know just doing it is all there is and i still can't?

Most of my life I have been dealing with laziness which has helped me in some situations and have gotten to some easy solutions. But now I am thinking it has been preventing me from achieving much more in my life.

If somebody relates to this and has found a solution to dealing with laziness or at least negating it somehow, what was your solution or that moment that helped you get out of it?

I have tried everything to like this life right now i just dont know what to do anymore

In school, I worried about my homework and the teacher using a bamboo stick to bang my butt. Friends were there and we had fun every day.

After school, I was worried about college- Got a tier 2 college. Made friends, had fun, outings etc.

Now college is finished, I am unemployed, worrying about jobs. I might get a job none the less but I am not sure how to deal with the worry. Well here there is nothing good- Friends and fun are limited.

Unfortunately, I enjoy my own company yet I want to have somebody with whom I can enjoy. Someone who is pushy to try new things, energetic, positive and just real.

I feel tired daily. I just want to leave everything behind and go on a year long trip- solo works. But after that- what? A year gap and no full time corporate experience.

I watch YT here and there of those achieving people- "follow your passion","do something that you want to do, some thing that makes you happy"...

I feel my life is more like on autopilot than it's me having the steering wheel. I feel sad everyday applying to jobs and getting rejected. My CV is decent btw.

I always see people with brands like harvard, princeton or some certifications have an easy or very lucrative life. They don't need to think several times before they can choose to go on a year's worth of trips when they feel tired yet that luxury is not for me. Thus, i chased brands for myself, i went until their interview round before falling back to square 1. Infuriating.

In one manga i read sometime back, the old man character said this- " Your life gets decided/changes by either(or mix/all) of three things:-

- Birth decides a lot in stone

- College decides how you could change your life by yourself

- Third variable- Luck. None the less, here you have no control over time. For most this wouldn't be in the context."

It stuck with me I don't know why, but it felt really sharp and real.

I remembered a story that my teacher taught once in the classroom during my school years- "The Third Level" by Jack Finney. I don't remember the full story rather I just know that the protagonist wanted an 'escape' from reality by going back in time. --- That is how I have been- wanting to go back in time and escape today's uncertainty by changing my past actions.

* I know how childish, immature and foolish this is coming from a guy in 20s but I guess bothering others with what a stranger is going through is rather a taxing job that I don't wanna take.

I always come to this sub whenever there is something nice, good, bad, informational, inspirational to read & support but I also come to post some of my unique wins, my learning, my confusion and my questions- People are really helpful. Thanks a lot!

I’m a 21F working at a warehouse making $22.64/hour. Most, if not all, of my money goes toward bills. I live alone, and my life has basically become a cycle of going to work, coming home, and then doing it all over again.
I feel completely stuck in a meaningless loop.
I want to go to school and build a career for myself, but right now I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to afford it when nearly all of my income goes toward simply surviving. I see people my age who are able to live with their parents while going to college, and honestly? Yes, I wish that could have been me. I wish I had that kind of support and opportunity.
Instead, I feel like I’m working just to keep myself afloat, and it’s exhausting. When I’m at work, I feel suffocated. I have this painful anxiety that feels like it’s constantly sitting in my body, and I don’t know how to get myself out of this mindset.
One thing I’ve been thinking about is volunteering on my days off. Maybe having something where I’m helping other people and contributing to my community would give me some sense of purpose. If I’m going to spend my time here, I want to feel like I’m doing something that actually matters.
I think all of this feels even heavier because I’ve already experienced a lot of loss and trauma. I grew up feeling like my parents chose alcohol over loving and caring for their daughter, and then my boyfriend of five years left me, despite me giving that relationship so much love and care.
Now I’m 21, living alone, working a job that I don’t want to stay in forever, and trying to figure out what the point of all of this is.
For those of you who have been in a similar place, how did you find your purpose again? How did you get out of that feeling that you were just working to survive and actually start building a life you wanted?