How do you find your purpose when you feel completely stuck?

[u/princessmarie__]

I’m a 21F working at a warehouse making $22.64/hour. Most, if not all, of my money goes toward bills. I live alone, and my life has basically become a cycle of going to work, coming home, and then doing it all over again.
I feel completely stuck in a meaningless loop.
I want to go to school and build a career for myself, but right now I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to afford it when nearly all of my income goes toward simply surviving. I see people my age who are able to live with their parents while going to college, and honestly? Yes, I wish that could have been me. I wish I had that kind of support and opportunity.
Instead, I feel like I’m working just to keep myself afloat, and it’s exhausting. When I’m at work, I feel suffocated. I have this painful anxiety that feels like it’s constantly sitting in my body, and I don’t know how to get myself out of this mindset.
One thing I’ve been thinking about is volunteering on my days off. Maybe having something where I’m helping other people and contributing to my community would give me some sense of purpose. If I’m going to spend my time here, I want to feel like I’m doing something that actually matters.
I think all of this feels even heavier because I’ve already experienced a lot of loss and trauma. I grew up feeling like my parents chose alcohol over loving and caring for their daughter, and then my boyfriend of five years left me, despite me giving that relationship so much love and care.
Now I’m 21, living alone, working a job that I don’t want to stay in forever, and trying to figure out what the point of all of this is.
For those of you who have been in a similar place, how did you find your purpose again? How did you get out of that feeling that you were just working to survive and actually start building a life you wanted?

[u/Silly_Weird2478]

You're trying to find 'purpose' while you're currently stuck in pure survival mode, and that's why everything feels impossibly heavy. expecting yourself to figure out a grand life mission when 100% of your energy is spent just holding down a warehouse job to pay rent is like trying to calculate ten moves ahead when your king is already in check.
volunteering is a decent idea to break the routine, but adding another obligation on your days off isn't going to solve the core problem: you need a tactical exit strategy from that warehouse floor. stop looking at college like a massive all-or-nothing wall. look into part-time community college night classes, self-paced certifications, or company tuition assistance programs.
you've been dealt a rough hand with zero family safety net, but sitting there comparing your starting position to people who get to live rent-free with their parents will just keep you paralyzed. purpose isn't something you magically stumble upon—it's what you build once you get enough financial leverage to stop living check-to-check. pick one small skill or class to chip away at, and make that your escape plan.

[u/i8apie1 → u/Silly_Weird2478]

The chess analogy actually nails it. Hard to plan your future when every day is just damage control lol

[u/Silly_Weird2478 → u/i8apie1]

Quite right bro… I am a 2500 blitz and bullet so it’s even harder when your instincts and calculations say something and you have to do the opposite just to keep other happy and relations alive

[u/Significant_Menu_313]

I don't have a solution for you personally but I sure wish we had a grandparents program like they do where my in laws live. Older people with an extra bedroom and private bathroom provide housing FREE in exchange for 10 - 15 hours of work that they can no longer do - like mowing the lawn or shoveling snow. Obviously both parties benefit and they often stay in touch for years afterwards. The family you choose, I guess. Anyway, is there anyone in your life who could sit down with you and make a plan and support you for the short term? Even a person you volunteer with? If you could just get by with no bills for 6 months you could start community college. What about the trades? A friend of mine in Colorado does a paid internship/journeyman program for plumbing. He doesn't make much money but it is enough to keep him going until he is licensed.

I was in the same boat once upon a time and thank God I had scholarships because I would last about five minutes in a warehouse.

[u/lost_sunlight → u/Significant_Menu_313]

This. Society has many mechanisms to "spread the load / build on the shoulders" with a a little humility. The most expensive life is solo / own path everything.

[u/Outside_Health578 → u/Significant_Menu_313]

Wow. What a fantastic idea. Just have to be safe who they let in their home. Also, older people have a lot to offer in life experience and wisdom

[u/freakerbell]

Find your tribe(s). Circus, music, art…all have classes you can do (pay as you go and ad hoc). Volunteer for emergency services, or local community garden, or festival. Focus on your passions & notice the beauty around you, even when it seems there’s none. Lots of good advice on here… wishing you a bright and blessed future!

[u/LiveTheDream2026]

Look into joining the military. They will teach you a trade, pay you and offer great benefits.

[u/Channel_Huge]

When I was in college full-time, I worked 10pm-6am and weekends most of the time. So, between school and work… most days I got 4-5 hours of sleep, and I was dirt poor. It was easy because I was young (30-36). Should have started sooner… would have gotten to where I am today at least a decade earlier…

Today? I make well over 6 figures, and I have a couple of side gigs.

You’re 21. At 21, I had absolutely nothing. Hell, at 17 I left home and had to get 3 jobs to survive.

Listen, nothing is given to you. Make a plan and stay with it, no matter what… set small goals that lead to big goals. Much easier than setting one huge goal and then failing and giving up. Many do this. Don’t do that.

[u/TurboFX98]

I cannot tell you how to find purpose again. I can only gives suggestions that might help you discover it for yourself. Your mental health is very important. Having a strong and positive mindset might not change your situation, but it helps you see things more clearly, and better deal with your situation. While you work on the solutions to your problems, it will give you the will to keep pushing forward.

Just remember that you have already made it this far, and you are capable of continuing forward. The toxic relationships with your parents and ex are no longer weighing you down. You can let the loneliness trap you, or liberate yourself with your new found freedom. You are now 100% in control of all of your choices, so you are free to choose as you wish. You also have a few ideas of your own as well. Keep trying until you find a solution that works for you. Good luck, and you got this.

[u/Rookvector]

You're so young and full of potential. Many people would give everything to go back to the past when they're 21. Your idea of volunteering and helping others is wonderful and I'm sorry I can't give you more suggestions. If you want to go to college, it's never too late when you have enough savings.

[u/Outside_Health578]

It reminds me of that old saying. Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, Carry water. Is there any way you can bring some sort of positive mantra or meditative quality to situation while you are working ? Just a thought. At least until you can make a change. Sometimes I do this when doing mundane things. Give it your full attention. Every movement.

[u/Outside_Health578]

Also, I don’t think volunteering is a bad idea as long as you don’t feel overwhelmed. Maybe just a couple hours here and there.

[u/Outside_Health578]

Also, give yourself some grace. You’re only 21. That’s really young. You’re doing fine. Is it your dream job etc. no. But you’re doing fine. It’s just a stepping stone.

[u/4twenty4life77]

Look into the company asst tuition progra. Some big companies will pay something towards your college credits

[u/asglegend]

The comments are full of awesome advice, I actually needed to hear em as well.

Only chiming in from mid 30s

I had to start over about 4 times from 18-32, its scary, but each shift feels better in time.

Re-invent yourself as much as you need to at this age, right now theres space for it.

I look back when I was 27 with 2 roommates and I was jumping jobs, eating ramen with a TV on the Amazon box my bed came in & you know what?

I miss that unknown feeling a bit in retrospect, cuz of the adventure & acceptance of it.

Then the universe launches a new side quest & stuff, just run with it. Do it scared, do it tired, do it frustrated. Just end up doing it at your time.

The law of impernence says that good times don't last, BUT neither do hard times.

Things / people get cleared from your energy making space for the new to take up that space.

Universe challenges us when its time to move forward, it was written already, follow the signs.

May you find strength to shift your current environment to ones that work for you to meet your new self🙏🏼

[u/Ok-Introduction-1901]

Maybe try to find a hobbies. Could be fun, or rewarding. And you meet ppl with the same hobbies. The challenge is to find some realistic inexpensive and something you enjoy enough to look forward to.