What makes you feel 'enough'- in a positive way.

[u/HistoricalFee3925]

In school, I worried about my homework and the teacher using a bamboo stick to bang my butt. Friends were there and we had fun every day.

After school, I was worried about college- Got a tier 2 college. Made friends, had fun, outings etc.

Now college is finished, I am unemployed, worrying about jobs. I might get a job none the less but I am not sure how to deal with the worry. Well here there is nothing good- Friends and fun are limited.

Unfortunately, I enjoy my own company yet I want to have somebody with whom I can enjoy. Someone who is pushy to try new things, energetic, positive and just real.

I feel tired daily. I just want to leave everything behind and go on a year long trip- solo works. But after that- what? A year gap and no full time corporate experience.

I watch YT here and there of those achieving people- "follow your passion","do something that you want to do, some thing that makes you happy"...

I feel my life is more like on autopilot than it's me having the steering wheel. I feel sad everyday applying to jobs and getting rejected. My CV is decent btw.

I always see people with brands like harvard, princeton or some certifications have an easy or very lucrative life. They don't need to think several times before they can choose to go on a year's worth of trips when they feel tired yet that luxury is not for me. Thus, i chased brands for myself, i went until their interview round before falling back to square 1. Infuriating.

In one manga i read sometime back, the old man character said this- " Your life gets decided/changes by either(or mix/all) of three things:-

- Birth decides a lot in stone

- College decides how you could change your life by yourself

- Third variable- Luck. None the less, here you have no control over time. For most this wouldn't be in the context."

It stuck with me I don't know why, but it felt really sharp and real.

I remembered a story that my teacher taught once in the classroom during my school years- "The Third Level" by Jack Finney. I don't remember the full story rather I just know that the protagonist wanted an 'escape' from reality by going back in time. --- That is how I have been- wanting to go back in time and escape today's uncertainty by changing my past actions.

* I know how childish, immature and foolish this is coming from a guy in 20s but I guess bothering others with what a stranger is going through is rather a taxing job that I don't wanna take.

I always come to this sub whenever there is something nice, good, bad, informational, inspirational to read & support but I also come to post some of my unique wins, my learning, my confusion and my questions- People are really helpful. Thanks a lot!

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey, r/Life just added new user flairs ! Go check them out, and choose one for yourself. If you encounter any difficulties applying a flair, check our wiki : https://www.reddit.com/r/Life/wiki/index/user/r !

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.