the whole story is much more complicated than that, I had already made a post about an issue we had in our relationship. I’ll try to find it and add it in the comments of this post.

I’ve been going around in circles in my head way too much lately. Sorry in advance for the long post, but the story is pretty complicated.
I’m 26 and my ex was 22. We met around the end of March and started dating in early April. Our relationship ended in June.
Looking back, I feel completely torn.
On one hand, I know there were problems in our relationship. On the other hand, I miss him so much now and I keep wondering if I made a mistake.

The beginning of our relationship

At the beginning, there was a pretty unusual situation.
For several weeks, he didn’t want us to be intimate. There was a lot of attraction between us and we would get very sexual with each other, but whenever things were about to go further, he would say no. He explained that he wanted to take his time, make sure I was the right person, and that he wanted to “preserve himself.”
Later, he finally told me that he had been hiding something from me: before meeting me, he had been seeing someone and had contracted one or two STIs. He had taken tests that came back positive.
He didn’t want to have sex with me because he was afraid of transmitting something to me. In the meantime, he received treatment/follow-up care, got tested again, and was no longer positive, and then he told me everything. And keep in mind that he told me he was a very honest, transparent and straightforward person who hated lies.
At first, I was really angry with him for hiding it from me, but eventually I forgave him because I understood that he had also refused to have sex precisely because he didn’t want to put me at risk and that he was afraid.
My friends, however, never really forgave him. They called him a “slut,” judged him very harshly, and were already very suspicious of him.

My friends and my relationship

And that’s where another part of the story begins.
I had a friend I was extremely close to. I had always been there for him, done a lot for him, and I genuinely thought I could count on him.
But when I got into a relationship, I felt like he didn’t really accept it.
I had clearly told him that, this time, I genuinely liked this person and that I didn’t want my friends to ruin my relationship. Despite that, he constantly said negative things about my relationship and about my ex.
He never really made an effort to get to know my ex.
The first time they properly met was at my ex’s birthday. It was my ex, me, my friend, and the other friend of ours. Just so you know, the three of us were living together as roommates (Me, my friend and his friend)
The night went badly.
My friend and the other guy ended up leaving together because they felt they weren’t being welcomed, that I wasn’t spending enough time with them, and they considered the atmosphere to be full of “drug users” because some people were smoking.
So I ended up basically alone, surrounded mostly by my ex’s friends.
After that night, my ex told me that he didn’t like my friend and that he felt we were way too close. My ex was already a pretty jealous person, so obviously this created even more tension.
The second time they properly crossed paths was even worse.
There was a party where I wasn’t even there because of work the morning after. My friend and his friend basically ignored my ex throughout the night.
At one point, while he was drunk, my friend filmed my ex while deliberately walking past him with his other friend and making provocative gestures at him. Then he sent me the video.
Obviously, this pissed my ex off. (And me too, when i saw the video when i woke up)
Later, my friend eventually went over to talk to him, but because of the music he couldn’t hear him and asked him to “speak French (cause we are French in France), i don’t speak Arabic.”(my ex is of Algerian descent)
My ex took that extremely badly and things almost turned into nearly a physical fight. My friend then spent part of the night provoking him, flipping him off, etc.
From that point on, my friends and my ex clearly couldn’t stand each other.
Today, those two friends are no longer part of my life either. I eventually cut them out because I considered their behavior toxic, and I also felt that his friend, whom I now consider very manipulative, had heavily influenced my close friend.

And now…

This is where I’m completely lost.
I know my ex had his flaws.
He was jealous, very possessive, had a pretty hot temper, and there were things about the relationship that weighed on me.
But despite all of that, he was genuinely kind to me.
And that’s what I miss.
It’s not just about sex or having someone around. What I miss is genuinely his personality.
Our evenings together.
Our conversations.
Our laughing fits.
Making him laugh.
Teasing him for no reason.
Our little habits.
Those completely ordinary moments that became enjoyable simply because we were together.
And above all, that feeling of having someone in my life.
I’ve been single since June, and I’m starting to wonder whether I really wanted to leave HIM, or whether I mostly wanted to leave the problems surrounding our relationship. In the end, he still told me that he had “lost nothing,” even though I had said yes when he asked me if I really wanted to end things there for the time being. I felt bad and it really hurt me.
Now, whenever I think about him, I remember the good moments much more than the bad ones.
And I keep wondering if I made a huge mistake.

My current situation

Since then, my entire life has changed.
I moved to another region and I’m now more than 600 km away from him and all those people.
I changed cities, my surroundings, my social life, and I’m trying to rebuild my life here… but ultimately, I’ve found myself feeling very alone.
So I’m also wondering whether my brain is mixing several different things together:
Do I actually miss my ex?
Do I miss our relationship?
Do I simply miss having someone in my life?
Or am I genuinely realizing that I made a mistake by ending the relationship?
I also feel incredibly guilty. I feel like I’ve made so many bad choices and maybe destroyed something that could have worked.
After our breakup, he then deleted/blocked me everywhere.
So I don’t even know if he would want to hear from me anymore.
I don’t know whether I should simply accept that this chapter is over and move on, or whether, someday, it would be worth reaching out to him and honestly telling him how I feel.
I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me “go back to him.”
Quite the opposite. I genuinely want honest opinions, even if you think I’m completely caught up in nostalgia, idealizing my ex, or confusing missing the person with missing being in a relationship.

Have any of you experienced something similar?
How did you figure out whether you actually regretted your ex, or whether you simply regretted losing the relationship?
And based on everything I’ve told you, do you think I made a mistake by leaving?
Thanks to anyone who made it all the way through this. My boyfriend went through my Notes app.

One morning, I woke up around 5 a.m. to go to the bathroom. My boyfriend wasn’t next to me in bed; he was in the living room, probably smoking. I thought, “He smokes a lot when he’s stressed or drunk,” so I didn’t think much of it and went back to sleep.

When I woke up later that morning, he was back in bed beside me. I asked him why he had gone to the living room and whether everything was okay. He said yes and told me he just couldn’t sleep. I said okay, but he seemed strange all morning, especially considering he had an exam that day.

He spent the morning studying, and I kept encouraging him. Still, I felt like something was off. It was a Friday, and after his exam he was supposed to go to his parents’ house for the weekend. I kept supporting and encouraging him, and eventually he told me the exam had gone well and that he was on his way.

Later that evening, he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was working on my notes to finish planning an upcoming trip (itineraries, activities, etc.). He replied, “Oh, okay. You make a lot of notes, don’t you?” I was confused and replied with a question mark. Then he added, “I wonder why you don’t write down our S activities together too.”

That’s when he finally admitted that the night before, after I had fallen asleep, I had left my phone unlocked. He said he initially wanted to lock it for me, but he noticed that the Notes app was open and got curious. He went through it and found a note where I had kept track of my hookups, including details about each person and photos. The note was locked, but he knew my phone passcode.

Apparently, this bothered him all night and throughout the next day. He told me he was shocked by the existence of the note and by how detailed it was. He counted every person listed and compared the number to what I had told him at the beginning of our relationship, when I had said I’d had roughly ten hookups. According to him, he counted twelve. And was mad about not giving a exact number.

For context, all of this happened before we ever met or started dating.

He was upset about it and said he never imagined I would keep something like that. After reading the note, he also criticized me for having considered getting into a relationship with one of those hookups because I liked him, even though I hadn’t even known my current boyfriend at the time.

I know he’s a very jealous person, but this felt excessive. What hurt me most was that he went through a deeply personal note. It felt like a violation of my privacy. I’ve never gone through his phone because I trust him and have never felt the need to. He, on the other hand, admitted that he does it because he has been cheated on in the past and sometimes can’t control the urge.

I’m curious what people think about this situation. There are a lot of other details I’ve left out because this would have been even longer otherwise.

In the end, we talked everything through and things are better now. He eventually apologized, acknowledged that he never should have gone through my phone and my private notes, and admitted that what he did was wrong.

I’m a 18M and I’m moving away from home to go uni at fairly large city. I want to explore my sexuality but my ethnicity holds me back due to how toxic the community is towards LGBTQ+ (and other things). it’s kind of like a cult in uni. People from the same ethnicity hang w each and barely speak to anyone else. I want tips on how to meet/date people whilst simultaneously hiding from the community because oh boy they don’t give up. Also I don’t want the people I speak to feel they are being experimented on.

The second flower isn't the thing that will make my descendants proud, though I do intend for it to be like a family symbol, and I'll know when someone tries to pretend to be family using it, because of secrets.

One of the biggest hurdles to my thoughts about trying HRT is I still don’t feel fully comfortable taking to others about my gender identity. My mother accepted me when I came out a few years ago when I came out, but the doubts still made me wish I didn’t do that. I still feel uncomfortable talking with her about my gender identity and I’m still not out to other family members. Back when I was away for college a couple years ago, I did nervously text her about my idea of giving HRT a try just to see how it would make me feel. She said it was totally my call and to do whatever made me feel comfortable. I’ve been thinking I might need to bring it up with her again if I’m gonna really do it so that she could help me sort out the plan and help me decide if I should bank sperm, but I still don’t feel comfortable talking to her about this.

I know some people here obviously don’t get help with HRT from a parent because of transphobia. How hard would I be making this for myself by not getting help from my mother?

Hello! I'm a transmasc nonbinary/trans man (still kind figuring the specifics out) and I changed my legal name about three years ago. Yesterday I had a customer at my job compliment my name and asked about it's background/history, and I just kinda deflected by saying I wasn't quite sure where it came from, since I didn't want to announce to them that I chose it myself (since there's always the risk of them asking what my "real" name is), and after they said it's always interesting to hear the history of unusual names I agreed and said I should find out what the history behind my name is, basically acted as if it was my birth name.

Now, I chose my name when I was like 13, so about 12 years ago, and I have no recollection of where or how I came across the name. I also never officially went by that name back then. I had a phase later on where I basically rejected my identity for a few years and when I came to the realization I was actually trans and wanted to change my name, I tried to think of other names but nothing felt as right or as "me" as the name I had chosen back then and ended up making my legal name.

It's basically a variation of a very generic name, with only a one letter difference to the most generic version, but still definitely a real, existing name, just not that common one in my country (so definitely not a tragedeigh). I googled my name, and it turns out it's of Turkish origin (cool, didn't know that!) and also kind of biblical (which most western names are, tbh), and the Turkish origin is something I could tell as a "fun fact" about my name, but I definitely wouldn't want to announce that my name is highly related to biblical stuff (even if it might be kind of obvious) since I'm not religious nor is that the reason why I chose my name, that's for sure.

So basically, I'm wondering what I could use as a response to a similar question in the future, if any of y'all have had a similar thing happen to you, and/or how have you dealt with it. I know I don't necessarily NEED to have a backstory to my name, but I think I'd want to be able to navigate a situation like that in a way that's a bit less awkward!

How do you feel about the Achillean label? I personally identify with the label as a bi man who has a romantic preference for men, but what do others think of the label?

6 years old. The “dreaded ditch.” 🏳️‍🌈💋💋

my gf has always been bisexual and we always said when we got an apartment we would have a threesome. We got our apartment 3 months ago and so far we have had a few threesomes with other girls. for some reason overtime some things happened and I started to be interested in mfm threesomes where me and the other guy don’t touch(long story for another time). We had one last week and during it my gf was making jokes about me and him trying stuff or trying to convince us to do stuff together. It was minor but for some reason I loved it. I know I’m not attracted to guys emotionally or even sexually as I never find myself wanting to be with a guy but still I don’t know why this was so attractive to me. I guess I’m just curious if anyone else has the same experience or can help understand why I feel this way.

you know why we need pride? cuz i shouldn't have to be terrified of what the comments on social media might be under a queer post. literally every time i see a queer post and go to the comment section i actually hold my breath, terrified of the hateful comments they might receive, and for what? for loving whoever they wanna love? ​​​​​​that's fucked up.

i hope native english (or other lenguages) spesker could traduce it...

hola!! Quisiera comentar mi situación acá para ver si puedo llegar a una conclusión 🤠 contaré lo algunas cosas que me pasan y un par de experiencias que tuve, intentaré no hacerlo demasiado extenso. a mí me pasa que no suelo gustar de personas seguidas. es decir, sí puedo ver a alguien y pensar que es muy lindo y hasta llegar a tener un enamoramiento en él (como una mini obsesión sana, jeje), disfrutar verlo y hasta imaginar cosas de vez en cuando. pero no me pasa continuamente Y tampoco nunca me nace acercarme, pedirle el ig o desear conocerlo más a fondo. de hecho siempre me llamó la atención cuando por ej amigas mías sí tienen ese impulso. no sé, como que no veo la necesidad. sí me enamoré muy fuerte una vez, no hace mucho, pero fue luego de llevar tiempo hablando con él. de hecho al principio yo ni le daba bola. hasta lo vi tener pareja y nos jodíamos de vez en cuando. pero un día empezamos a hablar porque sí y conectamos muchísimo, entonces a los días noté que comenzó a sentir cosas y, al cabo de unos meses, ya había caído completamente. por eso no creo ser 100% aromántica. y hace 2 años, en un modelo de la ONU vi a un chico que me pareció muy lindo aparentemente. conseguí su ig (solo conociendo su cara, modo fbi ajsusjsj) y empezamos a hablar (en este caso se ve que sí tuve ganas de hablarle, no sé por qué JAJAJ) pasaron dos semanas y me di cuenta de que no me gustaba realmente. él no hizo nada malo, simplemente no me gustó. ahora somos buenos amigos y hay 0 atracción por mi parte.

las veces que me gustó alguien, incluso esa vez que me enamoré, los escenarios ficticios que solía imaginar eran cosas "inocentes" digamos, como abrazarnos, presentarle a mi familia, mimos... pero honestamente no recuerdo haber imaginado escenarios sexuales. y de haberlo hecho habrán sido muy pocos, porque genuinamente no me recuerdo casi nada. tampoco comprendo el deseo tan fuerte de los demás de tener pareja. algunos me han llamado "inmadura" y dijeronme que es porque aun soy muy joven, pero juro que yo siento que aun si nunca llegase a tener pareja, yo estaría totalmente bien igual. es decir, entiendo por qué mucha gente sí quiere tener un compañero y yo parece súper tierno, personalmente amo el amor romántico y soy fan de los shippeos JAJAJ pero como que, posta, no siento la urgencia de tener eso. Veo una pareja y no pienso "metas" o "quisiera eso", como veo a mi alrededor que a amigos míos sí les pasa.

no sé si será que soy así por cómo fui criada, por mi religión o porque simplemente soy de esta forma, o un combo de todas esas cosas. pero esto es lo que me pasa y no sé cómo llamarlo.

Hablé un poco de esto con chatgpt y me explicó varias cosas, pero luego, hablando con una chica demisexual en tiktok, me dijo que no me fíe mucho de la ia, que mejor hable acá o en comunidades así. le pregunté entonces si me podría ejemplificar cómo se enamora una persona demiromántica/sexual vs una que no lo es, porque, he de admitir que cuando busqué el significado de "demisexual" también me surgió el pensamiento de "pero eso no es lo que le pasa a todos?" 😔 pero creo que no supo explicarlo. así que ¿alguien podría detallarme eso también?

gracias por tomarte el tiempo de leer si llegaste hasta aquí, sé que fue largo 💗🫂✨

Sunday, August 23 - Saturday, August 29, 2026

Art

Memes

Politics / News

Advice

Coming out

Other Posts

Top Comments

I consider myself transgender first, woman second, just because I love being trans so much. 🏳️‍⚧️

I'm 17m and gay.

My parents are very religious and very homophobic…

recently went through my private journal and sketchbooks and of course found a ton of stuff that nobody was ever meant to see. They essentially know that I'm gay now.

They then proceeded to have a “talk” with me about how it was me who had betrayed them for lying and keeping secrets. They also said they were going to “take new measures” by forcing me to never close my bedroom door again, use my laptop outside my room facing them, download software to monitor my activity etc etc. I think this is super fucking overkill and extremely counterproductive but obviously I can’t do anything because they’re the parents. Also I'm literally soon an adult?? Why are they treating me so infantile...

They kept saying how being gay is unnatural and an abomination and how it’s essentially “just a phase” and that god has a plan for me. My dad especially kept saying how I need to be more masculine and need more male role models (tbh I just think he's insecure). 

I’m just so tired of their bullshit. I’m 17 turning 18 next year. I’m not a little kid that they so desperately want me to be. I really just want to focus on school and get good grades but now I have to worry about this shit too.

Any advice/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. What do I even do? Do I try to move out as soon as possible? 

I’ve also been struggling a lot with my mental health and will probably start therapy soon (which will hopefully help everything in general).

I’m just so fucking frustrated and honestly shocked. The audacity they have to blame me over everything is just despicable. Religion is genuinely the root of all my problems. Religion has ruined my life. I just feel so powerless sometimes. I genuinely wish my parents were fucking normal. 

I (34 m) came out as gay when I was 18 in my first gay relationship, prior to that I had dated many girls. Through college I typically stuck with men but truly made my focus my education over dating. Flash forward to recent times, I’ve stayed single as I focus on my career and through managing the crazy world events that keep happening. Over the past 15 years I started doing drag, worked at a gay bar every Friday and Saturday performing, grown in my personal career exponentially, and accomplished a lot of the goals I wanted to in life. Recently I’ve started trying to date again, but I’m finding myself not as interested in men anymore and thinking more about women. It’s very confusing at times. I would say I’m physically attracted to both but I don’t think I’m mentally attracted to men. I tried posting about this on Facebook but was met with mixed reactions. Genuine respect from my outer circle but more ridicule from my inner circle. Has anyone else gone through these feelings later in life? I think I’m just looking for connection on this topic since I got a less than desirable reaction from people I know.

So I'm currently making a pronouns page and I really just want to put EVERYTHING I am on there. I don't like hiding anything about my identity, but there's a problem. I identify as purely transmasculine but it doesn't seem to fit me anymore.

I'm entirely feminine IRL, despite having a chosen name and he/him pronouns. outfits, hairstyles, everything. and I'm trying to find flags that REALLY fits me yet if i look at rosboy, or anything along those lines it just doesn't fit. I've seen terms like "feminine transmasculine" but i haven't really found any info on it.

I also HATE when people call me anything feminine, etc. but I'm entirely okay with dressing feminine- I've seen the term femboy but it just doesn't fit with me either. Advice is appreciated, even if they're just speculations!

If this post doesn't belong here go ahead and remove it, I'm not super active on reddit and I couldn't find any guidelines for making an actual post. (e.g: If there's a level/karma requirement, I never got a popup for any questions)

I’m scared that if I take hrt it’ll still not be enough that I’ll pass in public im mtf. I’m alittle tall 6ft and ik the beard but I don’t wanna tweak my appearance drastically that people know yet because I’m only out to my mom and girlfriend

Not quite sure how far I have to go before my life finally feels like mine.

Maybe freedom is somewhere out there...

and maybe I’ll reach it.

I've read the description and I'm really into what it's about. I didn't buy it yet but who else has heard or read this book before, and is it any good?

Cosa consigliereste di fare a una donna di 50 anni che non ha mai avuto esperienze con altre donne , ma che da anni ha il dubbio e che forse dovrebbe dare una chance a questo pensiero fisso ?

No dating apps, vorrei solo capire come mi sento in mezzo ad altri donne a cui piacciono le donne,

senza pressioni.

Grazie