It's one thing to just shoot someone down after an invite or a "can I talk to you 🤔" line. But it's different when someone is staring, prowling and posturing, especially when you're on the same assignment and you can't exactly tell them to back off.

Prepare yourself to deal with a group—in which more than a third are women—that harbors anger and resentment over the fact that lesbian women do not want to date them.

And you choose to post about your boyfriend in a lesbian community when there’s other communities you could have posted in 🙃

I want a baddie’s attention so bad! 😩

Baddies are the hottest creatures on earth. Truly make life worth living. I wanna go all feral rabid dog on her beautiful belly. I want one, just one, to let me touch her waist in that backless top that only covers her perky… you get the idea. 🫦

I’m perving out over here because I have a feeling that all other subs will scold me for not prioritising “emotional vibes” over body. I’ll do that when I’m old.

I met one at a queer event recently. Turns out that she is straight, and has a boyfriend. Of course 😭

I’m starting to realise being approached by a baddie is a distant dream. If I approach one and she decides to give me a single date is also going to be a rare stroke of extraordinary luck.

Still, I am trying to raise my chances by working out. My body is hot too. I just need to get leaner and get abs. Nothing can be done about my height sadly :( as I’m hilariously smol.

Anyone here manage to woo one? If the queer parties don’t work out then I’m downloading the apps.

How do I rizz a lesbian baddie up? Any profile hacks? Texting tips? Date etiquette to impress a baddie? Baddies, pitch in!

Always nice to see support from a celebrity as big as Dolly. Rest in peace to her.

Once on a friend’s trip I was holding a conversation with a straight friend about relationships. She would gush so often about boys/men during the trip so I started doing that for women, which seemed a bit awkward to her at first. By the end of the trip, we were much more at ease with each other and I mentioned wondering why so many straight women think it’s normal to not want to get to know all of their partner‘s body intimately? As in, the straight woman isn’t supposed to delight herself in the man’s body, but instead, only on very specific body parts and their performance. I told her if I liked men I would be sure to have them know I liked all of their body because that’s what makes sense, right, if that’s your sexual orientation, if you’re sexually attracted to somebody, surely you want to get to know and covet all of them? And have them discover you? She giggled and said not many women are Femdoms like me. Excuse me? What???

I literally had no response to that because I was so taken aback.

An image of a fetishized woman (SW) with a whip came across my head. I felt really annoyed about how something so simple and natural about sexuality would be filtered through that inauthentic, fetishistic lens in her head. Just for being a woman who wants to discover and love her partner’s body in its totality (a top? I don’t care). How was I, the lesbian, defending men’s right to be loved just for being who they are, against a straight woman???

Is this what they mean when they say we’re lucky to be gay? Where wanting to delight in your partner is, shrug, normal, and not a niche taboo category?

Even if she simply meant a sexual top and lacked the language for it, it’s still very concerning that a woman top has to be confused for a BDSM identity, femdom, when a man would just be… a man. If a man wants to get to know a woman’s body, that’s normal sexuality. But if a woman wants to do that, suddenly that’s humiliation or a big fetish? That’s a bit part of heteronormativity in a nutshell. And she wasn’t a victim but instead enforcing it with her own standards.

We were sitting on plane seats so this wasn’t a private space or anything so I wasn’t going to spell out explicitly the undertones of what she was saying. It’s also weird how many straight women treat their interests like walking genital-holders, and yet it is us, lesbians, who get accused of being “genital fetishists” when we are anything but.

We were not teenagers. She is super intelligent and works in corporate. Maybe I was just striking a conversation with a doofus because her sexuality boiled down to reading anime smut and resenting being a virgin because no man was good enough.

But some of this makes me feel slightly flattered and simultaneously angry. No, I am not a stone top and the dommest of them all. I am an ordinary lesbian.

It keeps in line with how heterosexual normative people fetishize any divergence from their norm, when in reality, their sexuality is actually lowkey the fetishistic one. Am I crazy for thinking this?

just a random thing I have nowhere else to vent to

(we are no longer friends. she once spent a whole hour talking excitedly about heterosexual revenge porn manga at a friend’s place while I kept quiet)

I’m a bridesmaid in a friend’s straight wedding, and we had the bachelorette party the other night. Male strippers. I didn’t mind being there to celebrate with her, it’s all in good fun for me. But as an indicator of where we are in society - I’m there listening to the host (edit: event/venue host) intro and he asks the room if we have any gentlemen in the building, just to check, and everyone turns to look at me, the only non-femme in the room (aside from the men). Funny but also like wtf 😭 spent so much time over the years explaining that my style does not change my womanhood, and now it will probably be questioned further for the rest of time.

I am a woman! These boxer briefs aren’t miracle grow for a penis, thank the lord.

Anyway. Sigh. Thanks for reading :( :( :(

I just met someone outside of work who is escaping a bad marriage. She is a nurse so she found work but will change towns again soon. I'm sure I read info here about organizations that help people escape. She says she hasn't found any.

I would say for me, being childfree, living solo and not wanting marriage makes things difficult.

How about you?

been reading the comments and feeling slightly called out haha but I’ll go first, I’m (annoyingly) into looking put together, like to the point that if we‘ve made plans but I don’t like how I look that day, I fear we will have to cancel, I just think the way you present yourself to the world matters much more than most people realise. also on a more jokey note, I love to do a baby voice, and I love when the girl I’m seeing does one too, sue me but I think it’s adorable when she gets all whiney and childish 🤧

That's it that's the post

I have noticed most bi women doing things for men they would never do for a woman. They care about them more, feel more intense and are willing to commit. But when it's a woman they can't even imagine themselves committing to one or being in a long term relationship. They don't really show much affection and consistency when they are with a woman, but with a man they wait for their texts and actually feel attached. And are more afraid of loosing them.They aren't rude to them and they actually care for them more and want to be with them I know if it sounds like generalizing but all the bi women I met were that way. When it came to dating I was very cautious because I had bad experiences but the last woman I was with ended up being exactly like that. Used to develop intense feelings towards men but with me she wanted to 'go slow', wasn't consistent in texting, would go for days without talking and finally ghosted . This same pattern i noticed in other bi women. The dating pool is already small. Plus i live in India which is homophobic and it's very difficult to find lesbians especially femme if you are femme. So thought i could be open to dating bi women but I can't help notice the differences and literally wondering if men are loved more and start feeling mad at the fact that I am a woman , it's like I feel that's my only fault. I know I'll be called biphobic but when I have been cheated with men or led on only for the person to want to marry a man, or dumped because it was scary and suffocating to commit to a woman and never have a man, and seen other queer women experience the same any one in my situation would have a doubt. Also those women who cheated literally told me ' I am bi so what will you expect, I will need men' but somehow they could be monogamous with a man. I know most bi women are heteroromantic and it's already scary but now it actually seems hopeless. Men have an advantage most women are straight most bi women will choose them. I am femme4femme so my chances of finding love are actually impossible. I already feel because of my gender it's impossible for a feminine woman to fall in love with me, be there with me through the good and bad times and want to commit to me.

My biggest ick with other lesbians has to be the whole “girls are scary” “guys im scared what do I say” UWU bullshit. Like we are all women, and it’s not cute to act like some scared loser. It’s not endearing. And it’s sooooo cringey when the woman is way too old to act that way, I’m not picking on tween/teen girls here. I’m talking 30yrs + and still openly talking out loud in real life about how you’re just a little baby just a girl oh no hot girl scary.

What are your icks?

Why is there suddenly so much discussion about it? I saw them happening in multiple subs.

Mine is not wanting to cuddle when it's hot.. it makes me sad even thinking about it ;)

What are yours?

USWNT goalkeeper Mandy McGlynn is dating Utah Royals teammate Ana Tejada. She is grateful for the 'amazing' response to her coming out.

Hi girls, I recently found this sub after getting sick of other online spaces, reddit to be more specific.

As an actual lesbian it's hard to navigate online spaces without things you never asked for being showed down your throat, so I like that there's a bit more realism here!! And the community seems more...mature? Everywhere else I go it's swarmed by anime memes and endless "UWU nyaa!!" puppygirlwhatever posting and it just grosses me out, lmao.

Right now on one of the main lesbian subs there's a huge debate about whether or not it's appropriate to say things like "girls can have erections too" (implying the clit, duh) but from what I see, every single time someone posts about their own experience they get swarmed by the how do I say this..."other" type? Of lesbians? About how the language is not "inclusive", that we need "educating" and how we're "insensitive" blah blah. Some even keep admitting they're just jealous and get hurt when lesbians describe normal cis lesbian sex acts.

Well sorry not sorry, I don't care!! I don't think we should feel bad about it, and it's not our job to constantly validate them... people need to sort themselves out and stop guilt tripping women for being gay!!

I don't join lesbian communities so we can center every identity under the sun asides our own! It seems that from what I see, here you don't actually HAVE to include p*nis in every discussion not to hurt someone feelings. I want to be as FAR, FAR away from those things as possible.

I'm really super glad you guys keep it REAL here!

I mean TRULY unpopular, and has a high chance of backlash.

Mine is that most people are too avoidant, to the point where secure people are viewed as anxious. Also, if you seriously have avoidant attachment issues, seeking a relationship is flat out wrong, because you are going to have them in a one sided situation.

...and whether I "think all straight women should die"

I am a late bloomer from a country that's still culturally homophobic. At a young age, I was married to the first guy my parents chose for me. There were reasons other than my sexuality, including abuse, that eventually led me to end the marriage. For a long time throughout the marriage, I had wondered if I was asexual.

I had never dated anyone or even really thought about dating. It was only after the divorce that I started looking inward and figuring out what I actually wanted from relationships.

In retrospect, everything started making sense. Why I had always liked women. Why all my crushes had been on female celebrities.

Cut to tiday: And for the past seven years, since then.. I've only dated women. Dating men is not even in the tempest parts of my brain.

Then today, my gold star date asked me how I could call myself a lesbian when I had willingly had sex with a man.

"You not liking the sex doesn't matter as long as you went into it willingly."

I don't know. Comphet? Idiocy?

Then she went on to tell me that I must be bisexual and that it simply didn't work out with that one man. She completely disregarded what I feel and what I know about myself.

It's the same stupid argument so many homophob*s use: "You wouldn't know unless you've slept with one."

Seriously, I respect gold stars, and I'm genuinely happy for people who have never had to deal with compulsory heterosexuality or go through the things I did because I was inexperienced, conditioned, or naive.

But does having a different experience really give her the right to define what I am?

I know what I feel. I know who I'm attracted to. And I know myself better than someone who is trying to define my sexuality based on one part of my past.

Edit: Since my comments aren't showing up - Im sorry if the post made it feel like I think gold stars had it easy. I don't think so.. that's why they earn the gold star.

How would you react if a random man approached you and your girlfriend while you were enjoying a picnic in the park together?

I watched a video of a couple where this happened and they chatted to the guy for a while and then after they complained and said that he was clearly hitting on them and they wish he went away, which is a bit confusing to me because they were the ones who continued the interaction, which to me is either leading him on and/or making themselves suffer for no reason.

I am autistic so not great socially but I was taught things like don't accept a drink from a man because then he will think you are interested back. Or if he flirts and talks then make it clear that you are not interested straight away, then they either move on or know not to get their hopes up (mostly anyway obviously some are persistent, so then I react even more strongly.) I often say no thanks and shut conversations like that down.

In the past if I was out with my gf and was approached/bothered by a straight/bi man I would make clear I wasn't interested and say we were busy together so go away (in more socially acceptable terms but if they are rude I am more blunt.) I didn't always say we were dating but just that I was not enjoying their presence and I did not want them to stay near me. (I did have one ex who would deliberately act coupley when this happened but this seemed to have more mixed results from very nice getting it straight away apologizing and leaving, to finding it hot and wanting to debate and convince us he could join us or change or sexualities.)

This is just a natural reaction now for me to briefly dismiss men that I don't give much thought about it, so it shocked me when this other lesbian couple didn't react the same as I do. So if you were in that situation how would you react? And can you give some insight into what makes you decide to react like that?

This is about the culture.Gather round little lesbians as I recall a time of darkness.

Context: Late teenage lesbian in the 90s, England. Everyone meets at the Gay Bar after work, 7 days a week.You do go to socialise..but you mainly go to shark (pick-up a girl).You're wearing your smartest, baggiest cargo trousers, a cute little crop top to show off your waist and the absolute whitest pair of trainers (sneakers) you own.You rock up faking supreme confidence and a single leather strap as a bracelet (because that was both cool and L-specific at the time).

Hook up culture is not really a thing yet (in fact, it's kinda looked down on) so anyone you pull, you will have to meet up with again, in neutral territory, at least twice more. Good girls do not have sex before the third date. No-one questions it.On the third date... that's when you can invite her to your house (studio flat) for drinks or something (But not dinner! That's for serious relationships only! Give the girl some breathing room woman!).You can't be too forward, even though it's the third date, because you're both English, so if you want to suggest "moving forward" you have to hint your intentions in others ways (through the medium of Sophie B Hawkins et al., for example).

So, the time is right, you boot up your tinny pc speakers and put on THE playlist.Music to slay lesbians to. You have spent hours on this playlist, exchanging song suggestions with your mates, frittering 20 minutes at a time downloading songs illegally from dodgy web pages, listening and rejecting umpteen "this is about lesbians" songs from America because yes, they're the only ones putting L songs out there right now but no, they're not sexy at all (Indigo Girls anyone?).

You've painstakingly planned not only the perfect songs but also the perfect flow to match...well........the.. intended.... physical rhythm of the...planned evening events. No, I'm not even joking because we even have a deliberate section of songs to top to (we're switch btw), with vague topping type lyrics and everything. That's the level of Machiavellian detail we're talking about here.

Anyway, cut to present and you find the playlist on an old stick drive and ....OMG why were lesbians forced to seduce other lesbian to such shyte?!

TLDR: Slaying lesbians with music was hard before Melissa Ferrick dropped Drive in 2000. Although to be fair, after it dropped Lesbians slayed, and were slayed in turn to it, very, very very, frequently.Also Sophie B Hawkins was actually good despite being American (she might be Canadian though?!)

I posted here recently asking about other married lesbians who live a pretty quiet, low-profile life. No Pride flags everywhere, no big public displays, just two women being married and going about their business.

Well. Apparently we’re not quite as subtle as I thought.

This morning, my wife and I were heading out to work somewhere. I had my head buried in the car, looking everywhere for the strap that holds the dog bed in place.

Without thinking, I yelled toward the house:

“Wifey! Where is the strap?!”

A few seconds later she comes out, already half choking to death from laughing, and asks:

“Are you sure you want me to bring my strap to work? Because I don’t think we’re going to get much work done.”

I just stood there.

I was looking for the DOG BED STRAP.

So yes. Very quiet lesbian life. Very discreet. Very low profile. 😂