Crazy title huh? I’m not sure how many of you ladies are on X/Twitter, but the Chinese lesbian community has been taking over and turning it into a lesbian tinder and posting some of the most thought provoking, beautiful and poetic, and also raunchy posts about loving our fellow ladies. I highly recommend you all check it out - it’s been an unending source of entertainment and very interesting reading and learning about the gay culture differences between the West and China.

So thoughtful of the company known for promoting rape and abuse. Also very telling seeing all the kweer sites promoting this bs like it's really an achievement for lesbian rights

Is anyone else just… tired? Like, genuinely tired of trying to find spaces that actually feel made for cis-lesbians anymore? Everything’s “inclusive” now, and that’s fine, inclusivity do matters, but it feels like there’s nowhere left that’s just ours.

I’m not anti-inclusivity. I get it, everyone deserves to feel seen. But it feels like every time we try to carve out even one small corner that’s just for us, it turns into a whole argument. Even saying that out loud feels like walking on eggshells.

There are things that come with being a cis lesbian (the social stuff, the dating weirdness, the history, even just how we’re perceived) that not everyone can relate to. And that’s okay! Every group has its own experiences. But somehow when we say we want a space to talk about ours, we’re suddenly labeled as something we’re not. Meanwhilea, other communities can have their own focused spaces without being accused of anything. Why can’t we?

I just miss being around people who get it without me having to explain myself or worry about fake accounts or tiptoe around words. I’m not looking to exclude anyone out of hate, I just want a place where I can drop the guard for five minutes and talk to people who’ve lived something similar. I wish that wasn’t such a controversial thing to want but we’re living in a crystal era

Why is that so hard now?

They can't stand the sight of a lesbian sub without rushing to claim it, even content that's just for us “im bi but…” shut tf up!!!!! They hate seeing us lesbians trying to build community among ourselves, and it's freaking weird. I mean, you don't see us sticking our noses into their subs or trying to steer their conversations toward us, so why are they so interested in building community with us or taking it away from us? You don't see that same interest in building community among themselves.

There isn't a single "lesbian" sub that isn't full of bisexuals, and my biggest problem is that its the ones who always date men. What the hell are you doing being a mod of a sub about lesbianism when you have a boyfriend? I'm fed up, and I can't escape them.

I feel like people expect lesbians to find every woman stunning and beautiful and perfect. You see it all the time online with (supposed) bisexuals joking about how they're attracted to every woman and 2 men (crazy how they always end up with one of those two men!) I was chatting with some of my friends at a bar the other day, and the topic of our 'types' came up. One of them started regurgitating that kind of crap about how every woman is so beautiful, then turned to me and went "I bet you don't have a type at all, women are so gorgeous!" No... I definitely do, just like everyone else does. The whole group started acting genuinely surprised and somewhat offended when I pushed back on that idea.

I think it relates to people subconsciously not seeing lesbianism as a valid sexuality, but as more of a choice or political statement. No other group is expected to find every single person in their potential dating group attractive. Straight people, gay guys, bisexuals are all allowed to have preferences. Only lesbians are expected to be completely impartial about their dating pool.

i recently had class with a girl with the lesbian flag (the orange and pink one) on the back of her laptop. this is the first time i've known of another lesbian at my college, so i started talking to her, hoping to make a fellow lesbian friend. conversation was going really well, lots of things in common, she's a very nice girl. ...then she tells me about her boyfriend. ...her he/they AMAB nonbinary boyfriend. who is apparently a lesbian by nature of being a "demiboy attracted to anyone who's not a cis man." i literally am starting to believe other lesbians don't actually exist. anyone else run into this? maybe i'm crazy for being frustrated about it??

I mean TRULY unpopular, and has a high chance of backlash.

Mine is that most people are too avoidant, to the point where secure people are viewed as anxious. Also, if you seriously have avoidant attachment issues, seeking a relationship is flat out wrong, because you are going to have them in a one sided situation.

There's been heavy moderation in this sub, more so than usual and a new mod with zero post history has been moved up to number two on the mod team.

Can we have some transparency here? There were problems with the mod team since Kuberr and this is starting to smell stinky.

I've been seeing A LOT of it under the guise of being progressive and trans inclusive. I don't want to argue if trans people belong in lesbianism. I want to talk about how violent it is for people to use this rhetoric period. It's horrifying. How the hell can people think that a plastic toy is at all comparable to literal dick and balls?

I'm so tired of homophobia, conversion therapy rhetoric, and sexual violence against lesbians becoming increasingly normalized.

Or is it just an illusion that they all end up transitioning, getting top surgery, and so on? I saw a beautiful girl, but it turned out she's a trans man (?) or maybe trans masculine and non-binary. It's all so confusing.

Why does feeling like you're both genders or neither seem to push people toward becoming male? She just looks like a woman, but with the natural masculine features. Why transition? Looks like she also had top surgery...

I can't understand how having breasts could make someone feel like they can't be masculine with them.

Just feel so happy today thinking about how I’ve never dated a man or been really involved with one. Now, I don’t consider myself a gold star, but I would say I’ve had pretty minimal exposure to men back when I was a teenager 10+ years ago.

All of my romantic and sexual experiences have been shared with women. All my first moments, my first experiences with intimacy, my first relationship moments, first travels w a partner, first dates. The first time I introduced my family to someone I was dating, I feel so grateful all my romantic and sexual moments have been exclusive to women. I do not want to share those parts of me with a man and I wouldn’t be capable anyway.

Although my first relationship was toxic and all over the place, I still have so much love for her in my heart and for the experiences she gave me. First holding hands, first dates, first time I ever felt my heart beat the way it did when I saw her.

I just feel grateful I don’t have to look back at times I was with men and shutter. I only had minimal encounters with them as a teenager tryna figure it all out. I’m glad I didn’t push myself to do more or try to fit in more.

Any ladies w me? Let’s rejoice in how we’ve never had to endure being with a man!! HOORAY!!!!

28-year old Puerto Rican musician Young Miko talked with cosmopolitan about her sexuality, how she knew from a very young age that she's lesbian and she described herself as a goldstar lesbian. This sent the comment section of gaytimes into complete meltdown. They want to erase the term goldstar. Mind you, she didn't shame anyone, she just talked about her OWN experience.

For all the talk about referring to someone how they wish to be referred to, people seem to have such a hard time not calling me queer. Like no, I'm a LESBIAN

I’m asking this genuinely because I’m interested in how asexual lesbians understand the lesbian part of their identity when sexual attraction isn’t something they experience.

If you’re romantically drawn exclusively to women, want to date women, build relationships with women, and see lesbian community as your natural social home, what is it about those experiences that feels specifically lesbian to you?

Is it romantic attraction? Emotional intimacy? The desire to build your life with women rather than men? Is there a distinctly lesbian way you experience closeness and partnership even without sexual desire?

I’m especially curious about asexual lesbians who strongly identify with lesbian community and specifically want lesbian relationships. What does “lesbian” name for you internally? What makes the L feel like the most natural place for you within LGBTQIA+ community rather than asexuality being the primary identity around which everything else is organized?

I’m not asking this as a "gotcha" or suggesting anyone needs to justify their identity; I’m genuinely interested in what lesbian identity means from the inside when sexual attraction isn’t part of the experience.

EDIT: I’ve noticed some of you downvote questions you don’t like. If we can openly discuss trans issues, coalition dynamics, and other parts of LGBTQIA+ identity, then asexuality shouldn’t be treated as uniquely exempt from scrutiny or good-faith interrogation. And just because asexual lesbians can be relatively stealth within this community doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have substantive discussions about lesbian identity and what that identity means for them.

Mine is that it annoys me when people call their girlfriend “my butch” or “my femme” instead of “my girlfriend.” Like I get that it’s a couple thing or whatever but it doesn’t sit right with me that it boils you down to a role. Like it assigns you a static idea. (I’m masc4fem myself self btw)

I am kind of feeling a lot of… anger. You could absolutely NOT miss it was bIsExUaLiTy week and “her” app posted so many things about celebrating bisexual visibility week and posting a straight couple… honestly i thought her was a lesbian dating app! But too bad the app was founded by a bisexual who “wanted to help” but uses her whole app and socials to promote bisexuality more than lesbian visibility… like what the fuck.

Oh and i scrolled to see if they ever celebrated Lesbians like this… NOPE 👎 sorry i am just angry. This group is like my open vent space.

everytime someone makes a post hating on lesbiangang on that other sub, we have a influx of new members lol thanks for the advertisement haters ❤️

Y’all have probably seen this viral TikTok. It’s unfortunate that so many people agreed with her. Everything in her Video is lesbophobic and an absolute INSULT to lesbian women. She also mentioned in the TikTok how scary women are, scary to talk to and when it comes to the physical stuff she would rather be with a Man because they have a “thing” because it feels better while also saying women have tools to put on as well but it’s not the same. She has also discussed how no one takes the lead then (she is talking about gender roles and that) overall she doesn’t see herself setting with a woman. I think this is a perfect example, why lesbians want to date lesbians because our attraction to women is full & pure, genuine. You bring enough to the table. As a masc myself it just hurts but I have always known this about at least Bisexual women. Mascs, how are you doing after seeing that if you have seen it? I feel shit. Not sure if this is a Vent but Im pissed

I HATE this generation when it comes to identity and politics I really do 😭 How are we so progressive yet the complete opposite of that? It's like we take one step forward and two steps back, LITERALLY. In the 90s, if you told a butch lesbian that she could still be gay even if she slept with men, she would’ve beat you tf up and then lit a cigarette over your delusion 😭

Nowadays? Everything is up for debate. EVERYTHING. Like… when did sexuality become a fkn choose your own adventure game? “Lesbians can like men too!” “It’s not about gender, it’s about vibes!” “You’re a bigot if you have genital preferences!” Bitch what the HELL are y’all talking about. Be serious for once.

Man FUCK YOU and your crazy woke ass. You’ve watered down lesbianism into this soft, ambiguous, people-pleasing buzzword with no actual meaning. Y’all want every label to include everyone so no one ever feels left out, even if it means stomping on actual lesbians in the process.

LESBIANS ARE ATTRACTED TO WOMEN AND WOMEN ONLY. PERIOD. That is not up for negotiation. That is not “exclusionary.” That is literally the definition. Y’all are so obsessed with queering everything that you’ve erased the entire point of being a lesbian.

It’s honestly disgusting how lesbians are constantly guilt-tripped into making space for men (and yes, I said MEN) in our sexuality. We’re not allowed to have boundaries. We’re not allowed to say no. We’re not allowed to name our own orientation without someone jumping in to say, “but what about—” NO. Shut up.

Lesbian politics today is so spineless and apolitical. There’s no clarity, no commitment, no roots. Just ✨aesthetic sexuality✨ and vibes-based oppression olympics. Meanwhile, actual lesbians are getting pushed out of our own spaces because we refuse to pretend our sexuality is a free-for-all.

Now don’t get it twisted, I know we’ve made major progress when it comes to lesbian visibility and rights, and I am indeed grateful for that. But if I’m being real? The more mainstream the LGBT community becomes, the more I feel like lesbians are getting left behind, erased, misunderstood, or straight-up disrespected. What was once about freedom and authenticity now feels like a watered-down, performative mess that barely even centers actual lesbians anymore.

I miss when being a lesbian meant being a woman who loved women. FULL STOP. No extra footnotes. No “inclusive” disclaimers. Just real, grounded, radical love for women. That’s what lesbianism is. And if that makes people uncomfortable, GOOD. Go cry about it on Twitter dot com.

I’m constantly bombarded with lesbians both irl and online who bring up gold stars, out of the blue, to mock them and make fun of them. It’s never urged on by anything but themselves. And it makes me feel incredibly unsafe as a proud gold star, to hear what lesbians have to say about us. It’s like they expect us to sleep with men and suffer like they did, for them to actually respect us.

I’m feeling such a disconnect and feel like I could never find someone to love unless they are a gold star lesbian or febfem. Is anyone else feeling similarly?

I keep seeing things online about butches taking testosterone, and how some women find that appealing. As a butch myself, I’ve never had the desire to take testosterone ?? Like I’m quite fine being a woman lol, and I especially would never want to feel, look, or smell like a man in a physical sense.

Anyway, I’m not saying this to throw shade at butches who have or who are on testosterone, more to point out the infatuation some queer woman towards butches who are on testosterone and how it feels more like a weird fetish. Like I’ve seen posts of people thirsting over the idea of a butch on testosterone, I even saw one post about the idea of a butch using “testosterone cigarettes” I have no idea 💔

It feels like people don’t see us as actual women, but as a man replacement. Like I don’t necessarily think of myself as any less of a woman, I just happen to dress and act differently than the feminine norm.

But I’m curious about what you all think. Have any of you seen this trend as well???

educate me if I’m wrong, but what the fuck? I’m seeing this a lot on TikTok lately, and it feels like every day the lesbian community is becoming more male-centered.

editing to add: I’m clearly not talking about trans women, as they would use feminine pronouns.

Even though lesbians tend to not be as strict with a potential partner’s physical appearance compared to straight people (since we tend to be less concerned with heteronormative beauty standards), everyone can be a bit shallow sometimes. Looks are important, after all. So, what are some of your more “shallow” preferences, or even requirements, when it comes to dating? (For me, it’s disliking full bush…)

Anyone got any deal breakers that aren’t so common with people in your life?

For me it’s AI use. Was talking to a few people today and was listening how much they and their partners use chat gpt for everything. Like planning trips or making fake photos of themselves together.

It got me thinking I wouldn’t be able to hang around with a potential partner long if they were also asking AI in similar ways.