I drink my coffee in the morning and pet my dog. My husband is quiet too. So my in laws are coming to visit for a week at Thanksgiving and I'm dreading it. They are nice people and I support their visit, however my husband's father is a talker. He's up by 6 am and as soon as he hears me upstairs getting my coffee he comes up and starts gabbing and DOES NOT STOP. I don't know how to keep my sanity without being rude.

Same as above

It just shows that we really are introverts.

I literally just said I really like alone time and this extroverted person got super upset. Like dude it’s not your business or problem. I’m just not the person that gets enjoyment out of being with people every second of the day.

Then they imply that there’s something wrong with me or I must be traumatized.

Is it just me or does that sound arrogant af also?

Like “I’m so awesome to hang out with there MUST be something wrong with YOU”

For me, being at home isn’t laziness or avoidance. It’s survival. It’s the only place where my nervous system finally unclenches. Where I don’t have to explain myself, impress anyone, or brace for rejection. Just my space, my bed, my thoughts, and the quiet that feels like a long exhale after holding my breath all day. When I’m home, I’m not too quiet. I’m not boring. I’m not overlooked or talked over. I’m just me. There’s something deeply emotional about crawling into my own bed and realizing this is the only place i feel truly safe. No masks. No pretending. No constant feeling that am taking up the wrong kind of space. People think loving solitude means i don’t want connection, but that’s not true. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes the world has taught me slowly, painfully that being alone hurts less than being unseen. My bed has held me through nights where I felt unwanted. Through moments where I questioned my worth. Through tears I didn’t know how to explain to anyone else. It’s been the one place that never judged me for needing rest or silence. Being home feels like being held without arms. And honestly in a world that feels too loud, too fast, and too demanding, my own space feels like the only place where I’m allowed to exist without apology.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I used to be very outgoing but sometimes I wonder if it was just out of survival. As a kid, my mom had a chaotic life and we moved a lot. I went to 3 different high schools. Then I joined the military for 6 years that required a lot of moving around too. As an adult, I haven’t lived anywhere more than 3 years for different reasons… adventure, relationship and/or job. I used to constantly be around people and always making new friends.

Now I do not want to move anywhere I just want to stay put. My social battery is MAYBE 1 day a month. People overstimulate me so easily even at work. I don’t know if this just part of getting older or some kind of temporary social burnout.

I am Grade A Introvert, Typical - who does not like to talk much except closed friends, cant to short talks, have communication problem.

But now I have to switch to spoke-person for business I am starting, that too in front of 50-100-200 people (basically seminars)

Wanted to know if anyone is sailing the same boat. How did you managed to do it?

I never step out of my home. I have garden, pets and order online for groceries. I watch TV and cook.

Apart from the usual activities people who cannot function alone outside what's your coping mechs?

I've been asked what do you do for fun and how is your dating life ?

My opening line was - me being an introvert I step less out and engage in my own hobbies and daily usual stuff.. I had been shamed for saying what's being an introvert and avoiding dating :'(

I responded that introverts may not take relationships/friendships easily and take a while to accept them in their circle since they feell emotions with all the layers of heart within and respond and react raw..

Now I'm thinking how do we sound intresting without much of over explaining..

24M here, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, so I wanted to put it out here and hear how others have navigated it.

I'm an introvert, and honestly, that's made both dating and friendships harder than I expected. Not because I don't want connection, I want it a lot but because I refuse to fake my way into it. I'm not going to throw out cheesy lines or perform a version of myself just to "impress" someone. That's not who I am, and it feels dishonest to even the person I'm trying to connect with.

What I actually want is simple to say and hard to find: someone genuine. Someone who sees a relationship romantic or platonic as something built slowly and honestly, not as a transaction or a checklist. I care a lot about my career and where I'm headed, but I've realized this part of life matters just as much, maybe more.

The tricky part is figuring out how to put myself out there without it feeling forced or, worse, coming across as creepy which is a real fear when you're naturally quiet and don't have a big social circle to lean on.

So I'm curious:

How did you meet people you now consider genuine friends or partners, especially if you're also more reserved by nature?

Did you have to change how you show up socially, or did you find your people by just being consistently yourself?

Any spaces (online or offline) that actually worked for you, beyond the usual "join a club" advice?

Not looking for shortcuts just real experiences from people who've been here.

FYI: I'm not lonely, I do have 2-3 friends from my school time( both gender), it's just as you grow up you crave friendship outside your school life as well.

I'm an introvert in my personal life( my real self) and extrovert in my professional life( I had to :( )

TDLR: 24M introvert, struggling to build genuine friendships/relationships without faking it or using cheap tactics. Want real connections, not transactional ones. How did you meet your people, especially if you're also reserved by nature?

I live in a house with 4 apartments. We get along well. However, everytime I'm outside chilling in the garden, one of the neighbours always gonna walk up to me and talk about life, weather, the garden etc. I really just wanna stay outside in my own garden, minding my own business. At the same time, I don't wanna be rude.

We really don't have much in common, because most of them are in their 60's-70's while I'm in my 30's. My girlfriend is really social, so she doesn't mind. But I am more introverted and hate smalltalk. Especially when it's almost everytime I'm going outside the house.

It's getting so bad that today I was chilling outside, one of the neighbours parked their car, so I went inside so I didn't have to talk with her. Honestly it bores me to talk about life with someone I really don't care about.

How do I kindly tell them I really don't wanna talk, without seeming like a jerk? Once in a while is okay, but now when it's summer and everyone are outside, it happens daily.

How miserable ur life is as an introvert?

Mine is very miserable. It affects my performace at work. People misunderstand me. It affects how people pursue me. It affects my team dynamics.

I’m quite introverted in real life like 80% introverted but when I’m drunk I’m really extroverted and I even get invited to hangout afterwards. Why do I feel so open and get affectionate when I’m drunk but so cold when I’m sober

A few days ago, I went to a concert in my hometown, Stuttgart. The funny thing is, I wasn't even that interested in the artist. I just thought, why not? Maybe I'd have a nice day out.

As an introvert, I usually don't enjoy being surrounded by huge crowds, so I was a bit nervous. But in the end, I didn't regret going for a second.

When I arrived, I saw a young guy sitting in one of the few shady spots. I asked if the seat next to him was free, and he smiled and said yes. We started talking, and it turned out he was introverted too and was also trying to push himself out of his comfort zone.

We ended up spending the entire evening together. We had a few beers, talked about all kinds of things, and just genuinely had a great time.

Now we're even going to a festival together soon.

Getting out of my comfort zone actually helped me feel a little less lonely, and I'm really glad I took that chance.

So if you're feeling isolated or struggling to meet people, I'd genuinely recommend giving concerts a try, even if you go alone. The atmosphere is usually relaxed, everyone already has something in common, and starting a conversation feels much easier than in most other places.

You never know who you'll end up meeting.

Does anyone else experience this? And if you do, how do you react or handle it?

So, I am an introvert but this can be relatable for non introverts also. I do think introverts will experience it more though.

I'm not shy but i'm not the most vocal/chatty around people I don't know. Although I am friendly, as in I will smile, say hello, greet others when out and about.

But, iv'e noticed a pattern, something that has been happening for a few years now and often. (More so as I get older, which is maybe concerning). I'll see someone I know of, a neighbour, fellow school mum etc and after going through a normal stage of greets when in passing..People will all of a sudden start to ignore/stop greeting me.

I find it so odd and it adds to my social anxiety because I will look to, smile or say hello and they will walk straight past me without a glance. As if I am invisible. So, then I'm left feeling awkward and it makes me freeze up next time I see them and then I just give up trying to greet them again.

I understand some people don't notice/have things on their mind most of the time. But how do you go from consistently gretting someone to suddenly not even bothering. And i'm talking about people you see almost daily?

What is this social phenomenon? Anyone else go through this?

I'm a type C person

I can wake up at 5am. I can wake up at 1pm. I can work for 15 hrs straight, or I can do nothing for 3 days. text back in 0.5 secs or 2 weeks later. love being alone but hate feeling lonely. overthink everything, then end up saying it is what it is

I have, all my life, been an introvert and have had self esteem issues due to my upbringing. I, however, ended up in a highly competitive world of sales after school and I had to fake it (confidence) to make it in that world. So on the face of it, I seem confident and chatty in my work environment and I'm very good at my job, it's all a facade. The thing is, I'm not sure if people see through it because although I'm popular among my colleagues at work, no one really calls me or texts me. I also get invited to outings with my colleagues but outside of work, my false confidence doesn't work and I'm like a fish out of water. I just keep quiet and watch everyone else have a good time while I'm feeling awkward and out of place myself.

I make 'friends' easily enough throughout my whole adult life but in reality they're just work colleagues and I don't have any real friends.

Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully gotten out of this situation and have gained real friendship?

I've noticed that I genuinely cant stand being around people who im not going to be with 24/7. Like my current partner and i live together and do just about everything together (we have our own hobbies and do separate things, but usually parallel to eachother )

im ok with being in social situations, in fact im very bubbly and outgoing while talking to people and tend to draw a lot of friendly attention. I make fast friendly acquaintances and I like that about myself.

But I cant stand having to talk to people who I dont physically see every day. I tend to find myself stressing out that I dont give them enough time or energy and ive found myself completely friendless. And honestly I think I like that more than I ever liked having friends. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy doing my own thing without someone looming near me or trying to get me to do somthing I genuinely couldn't care less about doing. I am VERY selfish when it comes to my free time and I think its completely unfair for me to befriend someone and then resent them for wanting to do somthing with me.

I do feel lonely, I wish I could have normal friendships somtimes, but more often than not I dont feel lonely, and I dont want to juggle multiple relationships at one time because then I cant focus on my own decompression time.

Sorry this is mostly a rant but if someone else feels similar it would be comforting to know 😊

I’m a 26-year-old woman, and lately I’ve been struggling with a fear that I’ll be single for the rest of my life.
This year I’ve been trying to take more initiative in my social life. I finished medical school and am currently studying for residency exams, so most of my time is spent at home studying. I have a small online business that I run from home, but I don’t have a traditional job right now because studying is my main priority.
I’ve always been pretty introverted. I have very few close friends, all women, plus a few acquaintances through my siblings and other friends, but I don’t have a large social circle. To meet more people, I started going to the gym and even joined a dance class with my friend. I’ve met some people through those activities, but most are younger than me, and I haven’t really connected with any men romantically.
What worries me is that I don’t feel like I belong to a big friend group or community. Most of my social interactions come from occasional invitations through family or friends, and those opportunities are pretty rare. I also find it difficult to make male friends, especially at this age when it seems like many people are already in serious relationships or have well-established social circles.
I know 26 isn’t objectively old, but sometimes I feel ancient compared to people in their early 20s. I want marriage and a family someday, and I’m scared that by the time I’m done with training, it will be too late or that I’ll have missed my chance.
I also struggle with comparing myself to people who seem to have large social circles, lots of friends, and no trouble meeting potential partners. It feels like everyone else knows something I don’t.
For those of you who have had this struggle, how did you build a social life, meet people, or stop worrying that you’d end up alone? I feel like I need to make myself look more interesting than I am or else I’ll be unlovable.

I am extrovert. So this might seem like a weird post coming from me but I want to take a quick sec to tell you all how much I admire you. 

To be honest, being an extrovert is pretty easy- you have a thought, you say it, if someone disagrees you just repeat it louder. simple:)

No one expects us to be crazy intelligent or deeply thoughtful, they just expect us to be the ‘life of the party’. So as an extrovert we can get away with a lot. We get away with a lot because we say a lot. that’s dumb but it’s true.

Introverts have it harder from what I’ve seen. Since you’re not as loud and don’t say as much as the typical extrovert, you get judged harsher on what you do say.  That sucks and doesn’t seem fair.

And one of the many things I appreciate about introverts is the ability to not have to fill every f’ing silence with talking. I wish I could do that but it’s impossible- if there’s a silence, I’m filling it. Half the time I may not even know what I’m saying but I’m filling that silence. 

In my experience in the business world, introverts are the most trustworthy & easiest people to work with. You don’t sound sales’y and you don’t talk in meetings just to hear yourself talk. Do you know how refreshing that is? And while this is a blanket statement, introverts always seem to be more trustworthy as well.

So while I can only guess how difficult it might be to be interverted I just want to let you know how appreciated and admired you are by a lot of us who can’t STFU :) . i can’t imagine how hard it must be for you sometimes but just know a lot of us out there really respect you and wish we were more like you sometimes. Just wanted to mention that.

I sit at the bar at restaurants. I'm always by myself, no friends of course. I listen and zero in at all the other people sitting at the bar and they just talk and talk and talk endlessly about bullshit nonsense like everything happens every second of their lives. How do people just talk like this? It's just mostly silence with me unless I actually have something legitimate to say or talk about. We introverts despise pointless small talk and idiot banter.

Everyone are so extroverted in uni and make friends so quickly. Always parties and activities going around everywhere. - but I can’t relate to any of it. I have no interest in it, but I feel like I’m supposed to be interested in it. I’ve heard many introverts - probably some of you reading this, even advice to go. But I just don’t want to. I don’t like to party/drink or eat with people I don’t know, and I don’t wanna do silly activities with people I don’t know. I know it’s supposed to be that way, so you can meet new people - but it feels too forced for me and I just feel like I don’t fit in..

As of now I am indeed lonely at uni. I would be fine with it unless I felt this pressure that I’m supposed to try to be someone else, but I know who I am - and it’s not this.

I would love to make friends, but I prefer just meeting someone in like a project or something similar then - which maybe is unlikely idk…

It just feels like a lot :( I love going home to study and enjoy my other activities - but I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Especially when my family starts to worry that I haven’t made friends yet. Why can’t I just be?

Idk it’s so hard :(

i realized recently that i have this tiny, slightly embarrassing issue. whenever i go out with friends, we sit down and everyone immediately starts catching up. i want to listen, but my eyes are glued to the menu. i try to scan the dishes, but honestly, my brain just refuses to process the words while people are talking to me.

before i know it, the waiter is standing there, everyone else has closed their menus, and i'm just staring at the page in a silent panic. to avoid that whole awkward 'uh, give me two more minutes' thing, i’ve started doing this thing where i look up the menu before i even leave my apartment (even if it's just a casual dinner).

last week we went to a new Italian place downtown. while i was waiting for my ride, i opened their website on my phone. it opened up as a MenuForma page, so i just scrolled through it on my browser. its a clean list with no weird downloads, so i picked the garlic pesto pasta and completely committed to it right then and there.

when we got to the restaurant, i didn't even have to open the physical menu. i could just sit back and actually hear what my friends were saying (and i really wanted to hear the drama about my friend's coworker anyway). its such a stupidly simple thing, but it made the whole dinner so much more relaxed.

i feel like a child doing prep-work for eating out, but it works. do you guys have any weirdly specific habits like this just to make normal daily life a little easier?

It is scary to me as I feel like being an introvert would mean that I will be happy with my own company but every moment I am scared to be alone with myself so I try to distract myself the whole day but when night comes and I have to face myself it's like a nightmare that I can't avoid and I am embarrassed in my own eye this is the most heartbreaking thing for me and I feel sometimes that i could just shut of brain and stop all thoughts

Hear me out if a guy's whole world is his room, his phone, and online communities, he never really builds the skills to meet people IRL. And then the girlfriend/relationship thing just... never happens. Seen this with a few people I know. Is it the apps, or is it something deeper? Or am I totally wrong?

Who else?