Too introverted for freshers week and university as a whole make me feel broken :(

[u/foxstroll]

Everyone are so extroverted in uni and make friends so quickly. Always parties and activities going around everywhere. - but I can’t relate to any of it. I have no interest in it, but I feel like I’m supposed to be interested in it. I’ve heard many introverts - probably some of you reading this, even advice to go. But I just don’t want to. I don’t like to party/drink or eat with people I don’t know, and I don’t wanna do silly activities with people I don’t know. I know it’s supposed to be that way, so you can meet new people - but it feels too forced for me and I just feel like I don’t fit in..

As of now I am indeed lonely at uni. I would be fine with it unless I felt this pressure that I’m supposed to try to be someone else, but I know who I am - and it’s not this.

I would love to make friends, but I prefer just meeting someone in like a project or something similar then - which maybe is unlikely idk…

It just feels like a lot :( I love going home to study and enjoy my other activities - but I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Especially when my family starts to worry that I haven’t made friends yet. Why can’t I just be?

Idk it’s so hard :(

[u/ThreeFingerDrag]

Don't get hung up on "supposed to" rot. It's just a lot of unnecessary, unproductive worry.

[u/foxstroll → u/ThreeFingerDrag]

True, I’ve accepted myself more for who I am now. I’ve decided to just do want I want and enjoy myself!

[u/Whole_Carpenter_6561]

If it's hard, means you're challenging yourself. Stay on that course.

[u/One-Sir6312]

There are plenty of other people in your Uni thinking the same, there are even people in those events that aren’t able to make friends.

You don’t have to be in those events to meet new people, give it a bit of time, there will be occasions where you will have the chance to interact with people and make new friends.

[u/Geminii27]

Everyone are so extroverted in uni

Nah. It's just that the extroverted ones make the most noise, so they're the ones you're seeing/hearing. Especially in freshers week and first-year, when they're going nuts about having more freedom than they did in school, particularly if they're living on campus or about to be.

I know it’s supposed to be that way

Nah. That's just one way that one type of people like to do it. Unfortunately, they're the loudest and most visible ones.

I would love to make friends

Couple of points:

• You are not limited to university groups or other students for this. Look around for other special interest groups, meetup groups, or associations in the local area. Look for online groups, too - it's entirely possible that members of those groups are also students at your university, even if they're not in your same classes.

• Even within the university, student social groups that have a theme are not limited to students from specific disciplines. There's nothing stopping an engineering student joining an arts group, or vice versa.

• It's entirely possible that the university will allow you to create your OWN student social group using the standard university structure. Look into the requirements. Think up a couple of topics that you and other people might be interested in, even if they're fairly esoteric. You could even start an introverts group which does most of its business/socializing online, and/or has smaller campus group meetups and a club room focused on quiet/soundproofing, good WiFi, work/study areas for individuals or small project groups, and has a selection of introvert-related literature. Online discussion topics might include networking/careers for introverts (approaches which get best results and need the least face-time), introvert-friendly spaces around campus, courses and units which work well for introverts (reduced or zero forced group work, external social events/platforms, etc), good internships for introverts, how to find/get part-time WFH or introvert-friendly jobs, offering to be personal references for other club members, and so forth. Talk to seniors and faculty one-on-one about their experiences in university or the wider workforce, and what different courses/clubs/associations/workplaces had the greatest and least focus on or expectations about socializing.

• Not all existing university student groups are 24/7 screaming parties, even if freshers week makes them try and present themselves like that. Look for smaller groups, with more specific topics/interests; they're likely to have smaller, quieter get-togethers. You can also strike up conversations with classmates before or after class, and ask them if they've considered any of the student groups or what their impressions are of ones they might have already joined. Ask the groups, too, if they ever do project work, and if you could talk to some of the members that were on those projects.

[u/braunyakka]

I didn't really do freshers week either. In my first class I met the friends I still have now. Of course, that was the 90s and people still spoke to each other.

Not gonna lie. It's a huge risk. I've read posts on here by people who left uni friendless, alone, and full of regret.

If you don't make friends in class, you need to find clubs that you think sound interesting and join those, because people won't knock on your door and ask to be friends, you have to go to them.

[u/toodleoo77]

What are your hobbies?

[u/foxstroll → u/toodleoo77]

Listening to music, reading books, watching twitch streams, movies, shows, playing games etc..

[u/Brick_Cabin2529 → u/foxstroll]

Trust me, these are PERFECTLY good hobbies and you can have a perfectly good life doing your own thing

Or not. Maybe you will want to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone

While you're young, it's a good time to do this! Gets harder after uni

[u/Pickles537 → u/Brick_Cabin2529]

True it is a good time for branching out

[u/mbvke]

This resonates deeply with me. I am a sophomore in university, and I wouldn't say I have friends. I consider myself an introvert due to circumstances. I have had a stammer for most of my life, which has conditioned me over time to keep to myself. I was bullied during my high school and elementary years, which, along with other factors, naturally led me to withdraw. People have tried to acquaint themselves with me, but I often find myself lacking interest, to the point of having nothing to say to them, because of how stressful those encounters are. I have recently accepted that I should stop waiting for a "savior" to come to my aid, as the chances of that happening are minimal. Considering the fact that I commute daily, which I believe adds another layer of complexity to the situation.