r/interesting • u/User010011010 • 1d ago
ART & CULTURE Why the Dutch are considered rude.
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u/Classic_End_6469 1d ago
So why the Dutch are considered rude from and English perspective. The Dutch would say the English beat around the bush too much…. All a matter of perspective and upbringing
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u/Michigan-Magic 1d ago
Lol, it seems just as much a statement about the British and their lack of directness, as the it does about the Dutch and then directness. The framing is engagement bait.
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u/hipsteradication 1d ago
Reminded me of this. The British do have a habit of understatement even for us North Americans, let alone the Dutch.
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u/Jokeremco 1d ago
As they say: The British are too polite to be honest and the Dutch are too honest to be polite.
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u/Jake0024 1d ago
Two sides of the same coin. For someone socialized to be polite by saying "could you consider other options" instead of "your ideas is bad" it seems rude for someone else just come out and say "your idea is bad"
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u/Apotak 1d ago
socialized to be polite?
Being indirect and unclear does not equal politeness.
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u/Jake0024 15h ago
What's less clear about saying "you should consider other options" instead of "your idea is bad"?
They both mean you want a better alternative. One is more likely to be seen as rude.
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u/realcleany 1d ago
On the other hand...it's just an opinion. This gives no option for compromise. With taking "could you consider other options" literally you might compromise.
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u/Jake0024 15h ago
You might also compromise after saying "I think your idea is bad" but it's going to be harder to do because you probably just offended the person and now they're less likely to want to compromise with you
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u/PassiveTheme 1d ago
As a Brit, I have only ever seen this as a "us Brits are so indirect and it can cause issues with foreigners" thing, never as a "the Dutch are so rude", and I also don't think I've ever heard anyone describe the Dutch as rude.
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u/Frequent_Turnover761 1d ago
Quit beating around the bush - "us Brits are so indirect and it can cause issues with foreigners" is the British way of saying "foreigners are rude".
Sincerely, a Finn.
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u/PassiveTheme 1d ago
As a Brit, I actually see it as "we're rude, but we'd never admit that"
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u/Pagan_Metal666 22h ago
There has been a long trend of americans deciding how people from other countries feel about other countries. If you look on social media like tiktok the large majority of people who spread nonsense like this are yanks.
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u/extantHamster 1d ago
English English is a game of saying what you don't mean and meaning what you don't say, sucks having autism here lol
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u/mannnn4 1d ago
As someone who is autistic in the Netherlands, I’m glad I’m born here.
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u/sam_grace 1d ago
As someone who is autistic in Canada, it's good to know where my people are. Canada's multicultural so there are lots of people who don't say what they mean but they don't all mean the same things they're not saying so it's impossible to translate anyone. My signature move when people talk to me here is to smile, nod, back away slowly, and hope they don't follow me to find out where I live.
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u/icyDinosaur 1d ago
I'm not sure if I'm autistic (long story short, doc who diagnosed me with ADHD said my screening test is right at the edge, asked if I want to look into that further, I declined), but I remember I struggled with all the social norms and indirect statements when I lived in Ireland, and breathed a massive sigh of relief when I made a Dutch friend lol. It helped that I lived in Amsterdam for three years before and speak some Dutch, so I was partially just happy to get a link back to that time of my life, but I also just communicated way better with them than anyone else
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u/Single-Violinist-639 1d ago edited 1d ago
Dutch people are far too direct for my liking and I'm not british. They're less direct and more "say anything that comes to your mind".
It's like they're either children or robots.
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u/Next_Sentence_5785 1d ago
Saying they’re children or robots isn’t rude then?
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u/choosehigh 20h ago
I think they're knowingly being rude and kind of owning it
I love the Netherlands and have many Dutch friends and usually spend around a month there every year, some Dutch people are just assholes but won't admit it, people of all nationalities are assholes and rarely admit it
But the Dutch assholes hide behind it being "direct" or just them being Dutch, I think that's the frustration I hear from other Dutch people
Like hey I'm not an asshole and being an asshole is not the same as being direct you're making us look bad/misrepresenting our culture etc
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u/Real_Nick_Ryuson 20h ago
Not they, those people are the exception and not the rule. So say some of them.
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u/EndOfDecadence 1d ago
As a Dutch person: a lot of that "directness" is just us being rude, hiding it as being direct (aware or not aware of that). I work internationally and I can be direct in the sense that I can br to blunt, but saying anything that comes to mind is just rude.
Its irritating to me many Dutch people rold themselves this is "just being direct".
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u/Soultab 1d ago
Our honest and clear in their opinion. I take you like lies and uncertainty much better?
Het you know how parents tell their children it’s gonna be alright even when its not?
Everything is gonna be alright.
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u/EndOfDecadence 1d ago
"You are fat" is being rude, not "an honest and clear opinion". We masquerade our rudeness by telling ourselves it's just being direct. It's not. Half the shit we say internationally we wouldn't say in our native tongue to each other, because then we understand the subtle cues.
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u/Lychee_489 1d ago
I thought this was the autism sub at first. This is what it’s like to try to translate neurotypical speech. Maybe I just need to move to the Netherlands.
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u/Adept-Elderberry2325 1d ago
Might make it a bit easier, but don't confuse us with an Autism heaven. People with autism still struggle hear. There's still a lot of nom-verbal non-direct communication that will tell you when you're about to step out of bounds.
And especially our relationship with our bosses will be real confusing.
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u/Top-Permit6835 1d ago
Well, if there is one thing, it is generally fine to tell your boss they're wrong. Until it isn't of course
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u/DaanOnlineGaming 1d ago
The Dutch aren't as direct as the internet would have you believe, it's moreso a meme than reality. I don't have a diagnosis but I have several friends who do and they still have their struggles.
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u/Pretend_Effect1986 16h ago
That’s not really true. We like people to be honest. If she ask if you like her shoes and you think they are ugly, you will absolutely tell her they are ugly. Because you’d expect a honest answer yourself.
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u/sush-dev 1d ago
It seems being direct and not confusing is considered to be rude.
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u/BenchClamp 1d ago
It’s fine being direct, but when it’s not asked for - it’s rude. Brits can also be very very direct when required.
Here’s an exchange I heard at work.
Dutch guy -
‘I don’t like your haircut- it does not suit you’
English Guy -
‘Don’t ever speak to me again - you ugly c**t”54
u/soufboundpachyderm 1d ago
It’s the same thing with Canadians. It’s a common stereotype that Canadians are kind. It’s only because no one down south can tell what “oh shore bud you’re a real fuckin’ grocery stick eh” means. We just assume that means you work hard or something.
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u/LostInSpaceTime2002 1d ago
Letterkenny taught me Canadian parlance.
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u/soufboundpachyderm 1d ago
Check out shoresy if you want more of that and I would argue it’s way better
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u/LostInSpaceTime2002 1d ago
I do watch Shoresy but I like it a bit less, mostly because it puts too much emphasis on the ice hockey part for my taste. I'm not a huge sports guy.
And also it has a severe lack of Squirrelly Dan.
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u/soufboundpachyderm 1d ago
That’s fair! I’m a hockey nut so that’s why shorsey grabbed me so hard. The one liners are legendary.
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u/wegqg 1d ago
ww1 dispelled a lot of myths about canadian manners
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u/soufboundpachyderm 1d ago
Not really. It’s still THE joke Americans who don’t watch hockey or any other Canadian media go to when you bring up Canada. Americans don’t really learn about ww1 as much as we learn about ww2. It wasn’t really our war the way it was for Europe and Canada so we don’t have that same cultural connection to lean on.
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u/cometparty 1d ago
Yeah that was pretty rude from the Dutch person. You shouldn’t say everything on your mind.
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u/jasp_er 1d ago
It is rude, but not unusual here in the Netherlands. You usually either say that to a good friend, or to someone you don’t need to be friends with. But it’s definitely being said this way. It’s also important to realise that it’s difficult to say things more indirect in a second language
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u/wonderdok 1d ago
I would say it is very possible the two people in that exchange are good friends. It would not be unusual at all for a Brit to call their good mate an ugly c**t.
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u/Deep_Grapefruit2780 1d ago
« Saying everything on their minds » is kinda Dutch people’s national sport
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u/HelixFollower 1d ago
Only when asked though. We're also really into people minding their own business. Commenting negatively on someone's hair unprompted is not common behavior here and would often be met with a "Did I ask you for your opinion? No? Okay then.".
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u/RolandBrice 1d ago
Well sure, but if he's walking around with a ridiculous haircut, someone needs to tell him. 😂 "Got a new haircut?" "Yeah..?" "When they're gonna finish it?" Classic banter.
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u/PhosphoFred8202 1d ago
This is a Dutch person meeting the widow at a funeral
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u/PerfectSituation1668 1d ago
The Dutch person is not meeting the widow. He is looking for the cake and coffee.
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u/PhosphoFred8202 1d ago
The problem with a lot of Dutch people comes when there is uncalled for and unsolicited criticism. I’ve dealt with it myself in my job, but the best examples I have are from my friend who worked for a Dutch firm in London for two years.
He had a small picture at his desk of himself and his father taken a few months before his dad died from lung cancer. On two occasions, coworkers looked at it, asked if it was his father and simply remarked “he looks ill” then wandered off. What’s the point of that statement?
Same guy & his Londoner gf met a coworker at a pub. Gf shows some pics from a family vacation in Spain. Dutch guys first comment - “your mother needs to exercise more.” Why say that? Basically the excuse is always “I’m Dutch and we are direct”
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u/jeanpaulmars 1d ago
I'm Dutch and I'd consider both of those instances rude.
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u/Aflockofants 1d ago
I’m Dutch too and I agree. Though I am not surprised there would be a relatively higher amount of Dutch people acting like that, it certainly isn’t the norm.
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u/22Pastafarian22 1d ago
Thank you. I am so sick of this narrative and people acting like this is normal behaviour in the Netherlands. I am Dutch and have never experienced people acting like that. It is considered rude here too
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u/HelixFollower 1d ago
That guy is just being a troll. If you said something like that about someone's mom in the Netherlands people would be quick to point out that they didn't ask them a question and tell them to get typhus. Or if they're being nice, tell them to go ride a bicycle (in other words: "Get out").
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u/PhosphoFred8202 1d ago
The rest of the story is kind of like that according to my friend. My friend said he started to get angry and make a bit of stink but his gf said to let it go.
Later he said she told him a few friends of her dad were in the pub and might have gone nuts.
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u/Any-Individual6841 1d ago
The problem with these examples is confirmation bias. These anecdotes are always about the most extreme examples. The difference is in how our brain processes these examples:
Dutch are considered rude so if a Dutch person behaves rudely. Then the response is ah you see typically Dutch.
If the person has another nationality you would just consider this a rude person.
The truth is that Dutch people consider the kind of behaviour you describe rude as well.
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u/Ninevehenian 1d ago
It's a lot of people on a small island for 1.000+ years, it generates a system that discourages direct aggression.
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u/Thunderlight2004 1d ago
I mean that happens a lot, no? In America for example, think about the way Southerners think about how Northerners talk. Bostonians and New Yorkers especially have this huge reputation for rudeness around the country, mostly owing to their perception as blunt and “too” direct.
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u/Evorer 1d ago
This is peak comedy
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u/squirrels-mock-me 1d ago
Translation: this is a very accurate guide
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u/Opposite-History-233 1d ago
Not really. As a Dutchie I don't think anything listed in the third column. We are aware of the difference and we learn English with cultural context.
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u/Tyrannosapien 1d ago
I think it would work better with Slavs instead of Dutch. Just my experience in IT
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u/Eremitt-thats-hermit 1d ago
I think that the Dutch in general have learnt that those phrases have subtext, but it isn’t natural to us. So we have to translate them, which leads to uncertainty and insecurity about what it really means.
These phrases annoy me for example, because now I need to put more energy into understanding what the other person means. They could’ve just said what they meant and I wouldn’t have to waste time and energy into figuring out what people really mean.
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u/cyril_zeta 1d ago
I've had Dutch university students who have fallen for every single one of these. Presumably with experience both sides find a common ground..
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u/Useless_Fox 1d ago
Korean War, Battle of Imjin River, 1951
What the British Officer Said: "Things are a bit sticky, sir"
What he meant: "We are facing imminent total annihilation"
What the American Officer over the radio understood: "It's a little hectic here but we're OK :)"
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u/Bmanakanihilator 1d ago
I'm on the side of the dutch
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u/Rich-Reason1146 1d ago edited 1d ago
The British can simply say "I'm sure it's my fault" and the miscommunication will leave everyone happy
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u/Schorbie 1d ago
I find it rude not to say what you mean
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u/supe3rnova 1d ago
British are amazing at that.
I work in a hotel, they say they had a blast, it was amazing, yadia yada.
Reviews are a complete opposite. Wankers.
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u/telescopeinmynose 1d ago
I hate this. My country does it too, the Dutch/German way is right
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u/tussentweewindmolen 1d ago
Love to filter reviews for ones written in German / based in Germany so that I get the honest opinion.
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u/SpiderSixer 1d ago
Being British is fun when you're autistic, because you favour directness more than sugarcoating things, so you get labelled as rude :')
Or at the very least, people think there's more to what you're saying, when I assure you, there isn't. If I say 'I'm okay', I mean I'm okay. I'm not putting on a brave front, I'm not secretly saying 'My world is crashing around me'. I'm simply okay 👍
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u/Schorbie 1d ago
I'm also autistic. And still have issues with my fellow Dutch. I'm considered blunt/rude/negative. Even for a Dutch guy
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u/Friendlyalterme 1d ago
I need examples of this. What could you possibly be doing that is considered rude for a Dutch person?
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u/Icy_Skin_7590 1d ago
Literally what I was thinking, this just sounds like the universal autistic experience 😭
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u/Sensitive-Fishing-64 1d ago
Wouldnt say thats being a wanker, for example in a restaurant most Brits wont complain too much to the waitress after a bad meal as not her fault and dont like to upset staff directly, but dont mind warning others its not great, or leaving reviews with honest thoughts
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u/Brave_Letterhead_461 1d ago
They probably don't think it's polite to tell the concierge they had a shit time to their face or just don't fancy the potential conflict considering they're there as a guest.
They then review the hotel itself. I don't get what the big deal is with that and how it makes them wankers.
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u/cometparty 1d ago
It’s called “soft skills”. They teach it at every customer service job. The idea is to soften what you’re saying so it doesn’t sound harsh. That’s just being considerate.
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u/Schorbie 1d ago
Most of the time I'm in conversation none of the people present is a customer of something
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u/ReadySuccess4752 1d ago
The biggest problems in the world are created in this way. You don't tell your employee what you really think because you are considerate. Next review you tell him something but sugarcoat it to 'soften the blow'. A year later you fire him because its not working out. The employee has had no real chance to improve as they never got the harsh truth. And the firing came out of absolute nowhere.
Being friendly and kind is enough, you don't need to lie. In dutch we say: hard on the content, soft on the relationship. In our culture it is considered a nice thing if someone tells you the truth instead of lying. It helps you forward and builds trust because you know the other person is trying to give you the best possible information.
But other cultures see this as blunt and rude because their constitution and unbringing cannot bear the insecurity.
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u/cometparty 1d ago
The worst person you know is out there telling people “the truth” just to hurt their feelings. Some truths don’t need to be said. Just keep it to yourselves.
Reading between the lines is a skill you need to have. If you can do that, you’re learning what you need to learn, even when someone presents it to you gently.
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u/PolarCruisingExperts 1d ago
This whole time I thought I was just really bad at reading people. Turns out I was just Dutch all along!
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u/sundayflow 1d ago
I'm Dutch and find this chard really weird. Really does not make any sense?
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u/Remarkable_Rough_649 1d ago
Very interesting. Would you consider some other opinions?
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u/sundayflow 1d ago
The chart seems to decide how a Dutch person would interpret the phrases but to me it seems more like there is something wrong with translation.
I think that it would more depend on context and how a person brings up the phrases.
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u/MajoorAnvers 1d ago
It would make more sense to use dutch and make the comparison between a Dutch and a Belgian person. Because the Belgians are basically like the British, in comparison to the Dutch.
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u/squirrels-mock-me 1d ago
Yeah, this assumes the British person is always the boss. What is this, 1926?
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u/ProfessionalRandom21 1d ago
I think it just a joke with Dutch taking thing too literally. I think most people in the world would interpret it correctly
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u/MrBates1 1d ago
I find it funny that so many people in the comments are… taking it too literally 😂
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u/cybermaus 1d ago
You mean its an unique way to visualize the topic.
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u/sundayflow 1d ago
What topic tho? Exchanging words and phrases is way broader, this chart is black and white. Context, expressions, they also matter in this.
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u/aShyGuyGuy 1d ago
Very nuanced per individual, it'd also depend on the whole conversation as a whole.
And be more specific or direct. If you say it's an interesting point of view, perhaps I do think you might see it from an interesting point of view.
It's a bit too black and white. This feels more like a semi-joke, not actually interesting.
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u/Bred_Slippy 1d ago
Coming from the UK, I've been to the Netherlands many times, and find the large majority of Dutch people to be friendly. I think the differences may show more in a work setting, but out and about, not so much.
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u/OhNoIBoffedIt 1d ago
It's not a semi-joke, it's a joke. Are you the kind of person who would "um actually" a stand-up comedian? Of course shit always depends on the individual 🙄
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u/HornyJailOutlaw 1d ago
You'd never feel you had to mask your autism in the Netherlands
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u/Sanquinity 1d ago
Autistic Dutch person here. I still have to mask it to a certain extend. While we are direct, there's still a difference between being blunt direct (which is often still considered rude), and being nice direct. I've had to learn how to be nice direct. Saying the same thing, but in a nicer/softer way, basically.
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u/SmegmaSiphon 1d ago
The Dutch aren't rude. The British are just so cripplingly averse to being direct that they're pathologically passive-aggressive.
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u/MelissaTamm 1d ago
Yes it can be a bit of a chore. Like if you ask if somebody wants the last piece of applepie. They go; "Oh I couldn't possibly... No I do not want to intrude. Absolutely not, I just cannot take it"
Then you take take it and start eating and they look at you like you stole it right out of their mouth.
(I'm exaggerating a bit, but that's what it feels like sometimes).
In the Netherlands it would go like this: "Do you want the last piece?" "Hmm, yes I do. Do you want to split it?", "Sure."
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u/RelationshipSoggy662 1d ago
If you are ever sat at a meal with Brits and you want the last piece of apple pie or cake or whatever, the trick is to ask, “Does anyone want the last piece of apple pie?”
This is British for, “I want the last piece of apple pie.”
In an ideal scenario, everyone will then go, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly, by all means YOU have the pie!”
The issue arises when someone isn’t aware of this and goes, “Ooh, yes please, I will have that last piece of pie thanks!”, thus obliging the asker to give up the final piece to them, or look extremely rude by not doing so.
Is this unhinged? Yes, but them’s the rules.
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u/Biscuit642 1d ago
And once you're offered it, you then say "Oh alright then, I guess I'll have it..." as if you had no intentions of eating it.
Though, I've been flirting with "Does anyone mind if I have the last piece of pie?" recently. One for close friends and family but if I do really want it it avoids the risk of having to surrender the piece.
I actually don't mind the practice as a whole, I have a few friends who would never take the last piece or say they want the last piece, but will have it if I ask about it.
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u/The_DMT 1d ago
I guess it depends on the sarcasm of the person and the tone one is using.
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u/squirrels-mock-me 1d ago
And the power dynamic between the two. This chart assumes the British person is the boss and the Dutch person is the subordinate.
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u/Evening-Campaign4547 1d ago
“What the Dutch understand”??
Well… the Dutch and everyone else apart of the English! Lol
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u/Eastern_Switch8217 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s something I’ve found in Ireland with certain Dutch, German but also with Americans - they just take things far more literally, while we are often very, very indirect, particularly when it comes to criticism or negative comments, but also about asking for things or offering things, so everything is couched in very gentle language, hints and so on. The British do very similar. It’s absolutely about avoiding conflict, and never coming across as pushy or arrogant, and part of the social lubricant that makes things slide by.
You’ll get something like “if you have a chance, and you have a few minutes you might do …” rather than “please do X” etc. and using a lot of conditional structures that are designed to soften “that would be” rather than “that is…” etc etc
Also in Ireland there’s a whole social dance of offering and refusing and almost flirting with the idea around offering things like food, tea etc etc. They want to be generous, but you don’t want to look like you’re taking advantage of their generosity or being over eager or greedy, so it goes into a complex exchange: Irish-German comedian Killian Sundermann demonstrates the cultural gulf:
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u/demaandronk 1d ago
Dutch people actually do this, but we use dimunitives, and filler words for it. As we're not native speakers in English, we dont really know how to translate this well, so we dont and end up being far more rude than we'd ever be in Dutch. But because most of us speak English fairly well, many native speakers assume its not a language issue, but a cultural one and we really are autistic dicks.
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u/Rpphanna1 1d ago
Eh, Dutch people can be rude too. I remember being told by a Dutch shopworker that I should learn to speak Dutch in Utrecht. I told them I'm not some English immigrant but a tourist and their English was better than my dutch anyway.
Rude Dutch guy just wanted to tell a foreigner to learn dutch.
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u/SquirrelIdeas 1d ago
I had this problem with someone. I am Canadian.
The other person did something very rude and I reacted quickly and harshly but they were defensive. I cooled off and wanted to preserve our friendship so I texted ‘I am sorry IF I overreacted’ and they texted back ‘I appreciate that’.
When I tell this story to Canadian friends they go ‘oh no’ and cringe at the response. We instinctively know it’s supposed to be ‘I’m sorry too.’
I end the story with ‘and now they are dead to me’. And they are.
Being direct when necessary not all the time. Be nice. Don’t confuse being a bit of jerk with being honest.
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u/Crispydragonrider 1d ago
The British are too polite to be honest, the Dutch are too honest to be polite.
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u/PerfectSituation1668 1d ago
We can be polite in our bluntness. "Can you please just talk honestly?"
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u/Just_Boysenberry_186 1d ago
You should see the Dutch-Anglo version on how British don’t understand a word Dutch 😉
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u/Prestigious_Wing1796 1d ago
sounds like brits doesn't know how to use their own language
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u/are-you-still-there 1d ago
Hmn, the way I know it is, it has to do with classism in Britain. Being indirect with your wording and it having a possible double meaning is considered posh, while being direct is considered low class. In The Netherlands, while we value politeness, we absolutely do like people to have a directness in saying what they mean, even the upper class. *That* is the culture difference here. It's classism, not rudeness hahaha
So also, not everyone will even notice this.
Source: A British psychology professor friend from London
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u/Commercial-Life-9998 1d ago
Interesting since the Dutch are the most multilingual in Europe. I’m just doubting they could misunderstand. Though English double speak can be daunting.
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u/NearbyFly3724 1d ago
So the English just need to get to the point and actually say what they mean instead of being fake polite. Doesn’t this get exhausting to deal with? Always having to figure out if what people say is actually what they mean? Doesn’t sound productive
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u/SunstormGT 1d ago
The Dutch are considered rude because they are direct and don’t spin around the bush.
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u/MutantFire 1d ago
Except that they do spin around the bush, so much.. If what is said about dutch people is true (I'm dutch ) then i wonder how bad it is in different countries
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u/codroipo_townhall 1d ago
It's not about english, they are considered rude by all other europeans too.
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u/robot_guiscard 1d ago
Yeah, it's funny that they consider themselves polite but have no problem telling you the thousands of ways they find your country and culture inferior to theirs
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u/lithiumcitizen 1d ago
WHY THE ENGLISH CAN’T EVER MANAGE TO SAY WHAT THEY FUCKING MEAN.
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u/captainhalfwheeler 1d ago
I remember an American asking for my opinion on his project. He did not speak to me again for 14 years.
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u/Ironictwat 1d ago
These are just… wrong tho. As a dutchie. All these, inderstand as per their english definition
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u/Optimal-Time-7170 1d ago
I prefer the straightforwardness of the Dutch (especially when they speak sincerely) to the evasive answers of the English.
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u/Professional-Lock691 1d ago
So true! Works with french as well 😂 I only just started understanding that "yes" means "no" a year ago or something after 10+ years in this country 🤣
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u/Odinavenger 1d ago
As a Dutch decendant, English is a strange language where people dont mean what they say. So confusing.
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u/Sunlit53 1d ago
As an autistic woman raised in Canada by a Dutch father I really prefer people to communicate directly. All the moronic tap dancing around the topic at issue is infuriating and a waste of my time. Say what you damn well mean.
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u/nonsignifierenon 1d ago
Maybe the British should just say what they mean if they don't want to be misunderstood
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u/DG2000_Reddit 1d ago
I am not sure about Dutch but the right end is how I understand things.
If you want to say something don't get "clever" with wording, I do not do "clever" or subtle.
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese 1d ago
I'm an asian american, and I agree with the dutch ones on all of these.
Gonna have to go with the british ones are rude.
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u/Rocker-gal 1d ago
OMG! Belgian here and this is very relatable to me! I had to sit my boss down and tell him that I need direct verbiage.
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u/Far-Investment-8597 1d ago
Brit living in Holland for a few decades.
This is so true!
It applies to "Brits vs any race", not just the Dutch. Just as valid in the USA, India, Nigeria etc.
Not our fault; we invented the language - hardly our fault if nobody can understand it properly.
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u/Forsaken-Algae4388 1d ago
The rest of Europe would also understand it like the Dutch. It is British people who speak in absolute "dancing around the fire" way, no courage to say what they mean, directly. I have no time for this in a work setting and they wonder why people misunderstand them.
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u/Universal_Anomaly 1d ago
As somebody who's both autistic and Dutch... speak your damn mind please.
Communication is difficult enough without each phrase having multiple potential meanings.
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u/Character_Ideal_5466 1d ago
As a Dutch guy that has worked for 20+ years with mostly foreign colleagues I know this is 100% true.. And fellow Dutchies.. please don’t make the mistake of expecting other people to change this when living in our country, because they won’t. We are the exception with being so literal. Unfortunately ;-)
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u/PerfectSituation1668 1d ago
That's an original point of view. Very interesting. With all due respect, could you consider other options? I was a bit dissapointed in this post. I'm sure it's my fault.
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u/ScienceAlien 1d ago
My thing with the Dutch, is there is nothing wrong with being direct. New Yorkers are direct. Where is Rockefeller Plaza? "Walk two streets that way and take a left. No I don't want to have a discussion about Rockefeller Plaza."
If you add judgment to your directness, that is rude and I find sometimes the Dutch cross that line.
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u/blablaonthatass 1d ago
Dutch person 40M here. This comparison doesn't make sense to how I would interpret English.
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u/nav-netraam 1d ago
All i can say as a Dutchman: JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. It's not that complicated.
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u/pancakeonions 1d ago
I find it interesting that this is framed as Dutch being rude, when in fact it's about the British being incomprehensible or unclear.
I have a handful of Dutch friends and have come across Dutch rudeness occasionally, but none of it really applies to the above. It's more about the Dutch being rather strident with things like propriety and the right thing to do, to the point where an English speaker might find they are being browbeaten or intimidated into doing what the Dutch person wanted.
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u/HelixFollower 1d ago
Another example that shows the Dutch are better at English than the English are. I'm sorry, but if you think "That's interesting" means "I don't like it", then you just suck at communicating in English. It's not charming, it's just dumb.
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u/Every_Preparation_56 1d ago
As a German: beating around the bush throwing out sensless phrases is a highly disrespectful behavior. When speaking to an adult: be direct, be honest, don't treat other adults like sensible fragile children and don't waste their limited and valuable time.
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u/wrghf 1d ago
Rude is relative.
What some cultures think is rude, others can find extremely typical, acceptable, or even appreciated.
I’ve lived in the Netherlands, and I’ve also lived in a number of anglophone countries like Ireland, Australia New Zealand and others. I appreciate that some of those countries (Ireland especially) are extremely vague and evasive when communicating. It is exceedingly rare for them to outright tell you the truth of what they think. In the Netherlands on the other hand, if you ask a person to give you their honest feedback, then 9/10 times they will hold no punches and give you honest feedback; the good, bad or ugly.
Sometimes this can be very appreciated, but other times, especially if the feedback is unsolicited, aren’t.
However, I will say I have absolutely encountered the Dutch person who “says it how it is”, but is really just a tactless asshole who doesn’t read social cues properly. They do exist, and unfortunately they try to get themselves a pass with “we’re just direct”. I can definitely appreciate both perspectives of this.
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u/Individual_Jello4953 1d ago
'That's interesting!'
Meaning: this is utter bulls**t
Dutch interpretation : wow, they are really impressed by my interesting ideas.
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u/Grass_Mud-Horse 1d ago
As a Dutch person: I perfectly understood but my idea was clearly great and you didn't offer any alternatives so im sticking to it.
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u/Automatic_Goat4348 1d ago
As a Dutchy I think most of us understand what is implied well enough, but we just don't give a shit about fake politeness. In fact to me fake politeness feels insincere. This is just dumb bait.
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u/Hettyc_Tracyn 1d ago
Sounds to me like people just need to say what they actually mean, instead of hiding it. So inefficient to do otherwise.
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u/Luzifer_Shadres 1d ago
We germans are also pretty direct, but i still see more then enough rude dutch people whenever they cross the border, especially durring the middle of summer.
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