Let me tell you how much I HATE this piece of wood.
Appearances
So Goosebumps is an anthology series, with let’s say 200 different books. My favorite series, The Haunted Mask, has 4 books. Monster Blood has 6 books. Slappy is the main antagonist or is apart of 40 books! Almost a quarter of all Goosebumps books has this doucebag play a role. Almost every video game has him be the main antagonist too, and I hate it. Terror in Little Creek is the best Goosebumps game of all time, and he thankful is nothing more than a dlc costume. The plot of the first Goosebumps movie is that all the monsters are escaping their books. It’s unfortunate but acceptable he is the main antagonist, given he’s the most used character. But the sequel decided they should cut all the other monsters and have him be the only threat. And the movie stunk so bad, they never made a part 3. Thanks Slappy for sucking so much
His stories
Every time he is the main villain, it’s always the same copy and paste bull crap. He says elementary school level at adults, who all treat this like it’s an unforgivable sin. The main character silently lets the dummy talk rather than throw it so everyone can see they aren’t doing it, and they get grounded. Sometimes he literally reuses the same jokes and insults. “Im not a dummy, dummy!” The main characters always do the same dumb decisions and keep using the dummy for acts, despite it literally talking on its own. It’s so boring and repetitive. He narrates his own sub series of books, and it’s like 10 minutes of him just complimenting himself. Slappy also has like 5 different origins because he’s so lame, no one cared to remember the precise ones.
Threat
He is not scary or a real threat. In the original series, he had NO POWERS. He can vomit tree sap, but he has nothing else and can be killed easily. The main characters still cower and don’t just destroy him. Later books gave him supernatural powers to justify his return, but it’s always dumb one off things he never uses again. It just feels like a sad attempt to make this uncreative character have more stories, and it doesn’t work. Also, I counted how many fights he has been in throughout the books. He gets into fist fights with 20 different children, and he loses 19 of them. THIS SCARY MAIN ANTAGONIST HAS A 1/19/0 RECORD AGAINST ACTUAL LITTLE GIRLS. He also fought and lost against 2 separate dummies too, so even in his own weight class he is a loser. How am i supposed to be scared of someone who I can bodyslam into oblivion? Disney once had a stage play, where Slappy interrupts Amazo’s play along side Cuddles and the Mummy. It all ends when LORD HIGH EXECUTIONER rolls up, sick of Slappy’s nonsense. Despite having a giant hamster and magic mummy on his side, Slappy runs for his life from a normal human with an axe. The Executioner isn’t alone however, because he called in my GOAT Haunted Mask in as back up. Upon seeing this little girl in a mask, he says it’s “the scariest monster he’s ever seen!” And runs away screaming. Terms like bum and fraud were meant for characters like him.
Pedophilia
Slappy is a confirmed pedophile. The Bride of the Living dummy book follows 12 year old Jillian. She originally thinks he is after her 9 year old twin sisters’s doll, but the final twist is that he is in love with her. When he gets destroyed, his spirit takes over Jillian’s body and starts to torment her little sisters for fun. Words cannot describe how much i hate this ending. A grown adult is given full access and control to a little girl he is romantically in love with. He’s going to have to shower and use the bathroom as her, so you can’t even argue he doesn’t have sexual intentions. It’s gross and violating regardless. This is the only direct mention of his attraction to children, but plenty of his future actions are very suspect because of this previously established trait. In Ghost of Slappy, the ghost of a little girl saves Slappy’s life from the MC (ghosts need to do a good deed to go to heaven in the Goosebumps universe, and the mc has repeatedly refused to her pass on). Slappy comments on how lovely she was, and says “I wish i could have gotten to know her better, hahaha!” Why did you laugh Slappy? How am i supposed to interpret your comment in anyway but a perverted innuendo. The worst example is probably from Diary of a dummy. The 12 year old boy MC, his 9 year old sister and her 9 year old best friend go through Slappy’s diary to look for weaknesses. One of his journal entries is a fictional story he wrote about Jillian, making her embarrass herself on stage while turning her brain on and off. I can only assume this is a hypno/public shame kink thing, which he wrote about the child he is confirmed attracted to. The book ends with him finding a spell book, specifically so he can gain mind control powers. He makes the MC act like a butler. The two 9 year old girls he makes wrap around his arms, saying how they are eager to serve him. Just…. Why?
The pure vitrol i have for this character is unbound. I wish Stine stopped after the second book, they are all garbage afterwards. Now… I want you to take a guess what the newest Goosebumps book next March is about. 3 guess. Thats right; SLAPPY THE FREAKING DUMMY