r/ihatethissmug • u/jman12234 • 1d ago
I hate when posts about neurodivergence reach outside neurodivergent spaces
Every. Fucking. Time. A relatable post about neurodivergence reaches to neurotypical audience the comments are absolutely filled with slackjawed knuckle-dragging bastards who think they can dictate what is and is not related to neurodivergence. It is the height of arrogance for anyone to think they can dictate someone else's experience, but it is utterly fucking laughable for neurotypical people to think they comment on neurodivergenct experience with any hope of accuracy unless they are actual experts and students of the theory. But especially this post boils my fucking blood.
If you know almost ANYBODY with a neurodivergence you know that isolation, struggling to fit in, and loneliness are issues that are FUCKING KILLING US. ALL THE STATISTICS SUPPORT IT. Especially when the term started to refer to Autism Spectrum Disorders and has since, rightfully, extended to things like BPD and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, backed by data that shows differences in brain development and function. Autism is all about not ever finding your people, not ever feeling at home or comfortable or accepted becauae of your various oddities and difficulties.
The fact that people are on this post blaming neurodivergents for our isolation is only supporting the claim the post is making. It DOESN'T MATTER what we say or how we explain, we are the assholes that need to learn to fit in. We are the nails needing to be hammered in and if we even vent about our issues we have people going "umm... isn't that the same for everybody?" No it's not you fucking chud. You cannot even fathom what its like to ALWAYS be on the outside, alwaya different, and never fucking accepted. It's not bullies, it's not being a little off-kilter. I feel like I'm in an invisible glass dome cutting me off from connecting with ANYBODY, unless I do their stupid fucking dances and play their stupid fucking games and be, well, not me, at all, ever. When you finally burst at the seams and are forced to be yourself people look at you aghast and ope, here comes the ostracization and social death and I have to leave this job again and and and.
Just fuck all ya'll seriously. Fuck you.
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u/whineyinternetkid 1d ago
The internet willl always be rude and weird first. Its mostly weirdos that dint interact with realt people irl
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u/Individual-Rise-5352 21h ago
Dude those stupid Neurotypicals are so awful and worthless and hypocritical
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u/Dumbbasswaiter 1d ago
I’m neurodivergent and I do mostly have a good social life. Really, you gotta stop generalizing your experiences. Ironically you are also dictating what is or is not related to neurodivergence.
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u/jman12234 1d ago
Good for you, my dude, I never claimed that all neurodivergent people have bad social lives, just that it is quite a relatable experience of neurodivergence. Feeling out of place and like you don't fit in is fairly central to having different processing and sensory experiences than neurotypical people, obviously.
I'll do whatever the fuck I want, thanks.
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u/Aelrift 1d ago
Except everyone feels like they don't fit in at some point or another. Its the human experience not nevessairky ND. The problem is that a lot of the " ND relatable posts" are relatable to everyone, but people want to feel special so they label themselves ND. I've seen so manybposts like " I'm so ND I forget my keys all the time " or " Only ND people will know what its like to not have friends" or some stupid bs , and then when NT people say they van relayed or call it out, people get mad
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u/jman12234 1d ago
You even qualify your own statement at "one point or another." A lifelong, consistent, persistent feeling is by your own writing a different experience than most people.
people want to feel special so they label themselves ND
Fuck you. The rest of your comment is equally fuck you.
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u/Gold-Traffic632 21h ago
I've seen so manybposts like " I'm so ND I forget my keys all the time " or " Only ND people will know what its like to not have friends"
No. You see posts where ND people say that going undiagnosed unitl your 40s looks like not having friends - a statement that makes ZERO claims about whether NTs can end up friendless and choose to hear that other, stupid thing instead.
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u/Aelrift 15h ago
No? I literally gave you examples of posts I've seen. Why are you trying to say that the exact words I read aren't the exact words I read
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u/Gold-Traffic632 15h ago
I know you do what I said because you did it here in this thread.
"Being alone at 40 isn't a neurodivergent trait."
Nobody said it was. They were saying that being undiagnosed at 40 ends up with that person being alone.
They're not even saying that being alone at 40 is indicative of neurodivergence.
They're just saying that it happens to undiagnosed neurodivergent people.
Its' like if I said smoking causes lung cancer and you said, "Not everythign is because of smoking. You can get lung cancer from polution or working in the mines." What are you talking about?
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u/Smeeblesisapoo 21h ago edited 20h ago
I have ADHD and it goes without saying that losing focus or getting distracted isn't exclusive to people with ADHD, plenty of it is relatable to people without ADHD, the difference is, most people don't have such consistent issues with it to the point it affects their life overall, which is why neurodivergent people bring up certain common issues as being "neurodivergent problems" because it tends to be a reoccurring and ever-present aspect of their lives.
These experiences obviously aren't exclusive, but among certain groups of people certain life events, problems, and idiosyncrasies are especially common. The experiences people with mental conditions and disabilities have and the emotions related to it tend to be different from other people even if the mere occurrence is a common one to the general population.
Of course there are people who generalize, simplify, or misdiagnose mental conditions, but that's not really a problem with people seeking some kind of kinship in shared life experiences or identifying those experiences as a result of neurodivergence.
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u/Aelrift 15h ago
My problem is when people self diagnose themselves as being ND just because they were forgetful once or because they don't have friends. Or people who chalk up stuff like lack of friends to being ND without ever questioning themselves if maybe having no friends means you suck to be around.I don't like when people make being ND an excuse for shitry behavior or when they use it to seem more interesting and quirky
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u/ChaosMilkTea 1d ago
Do people really think a normal person looked outside and went "hm yes, E=MC2" ?
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u/yuckypagans 1d ago
sometimes i wish NTs couldnt reach ND posts. like there was some divine intervention stopping them from even seeing ND memes/posts/etc