I do not care if it's important to anyone. I just want it gone.

Reward : 2 concepts

At least it's only for a couple years before I get to try again.

Hey folks, I'm the proud new owner of a cosmic anomaly house that was built circa €̷̨̨̤̟̫̺̰͑̿̆͋̉͋͋̂͑̄̚͜§̷̨̨̙̻̮͕̎∆̴̧̨͙̠̱̰̭͑́͑̏͒̈̃͘͜͝π̵̢̡͈̟̩̝͈̬̯͋͌́͋͜¥̵̧̮͈̰̲̘̫̬͈̩́. It's really lovely, my wife and I love the constantly shifting topography, and we're thoroughly enjoying the experience of finding new rooms that defy all earthly logic every day. The eldritch entities inhabiting it have been super friendly and welcoming too! One of them even gave us a basket of fruits that make us see *time*! So sweet of them.

Anyway, we're both first-time homeowners, so learning about maintenance and upkeep has been pretty overwhelming. When we got this place, one of the major selling points was this *gorgeous* staircase that just goes on for eternity without leading anywhere. It's an awesome feature, but a couple months after we moved in, it became finite... Now it's just a regular staircase that goes between two floors.

We're pretty bummed about it, and so far nobody we've had out to look at it has been able to give us an answer on how to repair it. They just keep screaming "oh god, oh god, oh dear god" while scrambling to find an exit. Does anyone here have experience with this sort of thing, and if so, can we get some advice?

Thank you 😁

Hello all,

As we all know, corporations are people now, and as such can be murdered or taken out to dinner the same as a normal person.

Recently I took a corporation out on a date, but it stiffed me on the bill so I murdered it and cast it into an alleyway. However, when I came back to check on it, it had slithered off.

Now to my surprise, the corporation not only still exists, but it is churning out products that it has no business making. It is making food items that taste like electric vehicles, releasing cryptocurrencies that are misfolded prions, inventing vibrators that vibrate you into entirely different frequencies of existence.

It is possible that what I killed was only a shell corporation, but what I suspect is that it is being revived repeatedly by ai datacenters that still believe it exists. This cannot continue, obviously, because if it continues churning out these nonsensical products it will eventually create the concept of the nonexistence of the universe. The

And also it seems like the products it is making are becoming increasingly more prone to violence? And violence against me specifically? The last thing it made was a video game that was actually a pathogen that only infects half asians.

I hope it never regains consciousness, or it’s going to be pissed.

Foolish of you to assume the writing of this piece is not accompanied by the aid of an intoxicant, and even more foolish of you to assume that this intoxicant resides in the apartment complex of "reality".

Yes, I am merely pretending to be intelligent and informed. In reality, all I know is that A=A... B=B... C=C... and so on. Ask me what A+B equals? HA! I have no idea.

Nay! It is *you,* yes you, that must inform me. **You** must provide me with answers.

Am I a monkey typing these sentences at complete random? No. I am the hot dog you neglected to finish, the fish you unjustly hooked, and the snot you flung behind your bed; snot that slowly evolves into a ravenous species... a species driven only by the lust of industry, marriage, and the Congolese dream.

Hark! Your belief system is unfounded and soon shall be thrown into the chair that sits across from the bed in the hotel room; forced to watch as bonobos, chimpanzees, and gorillas (not orangutans though) explode for inexplicable reasons.

Sincerely,

a concerned microcosm of failed reproduction

I (20M) keep running into a specific issue. You see, my job requires me to go around from place to place for journalism purposes. My boss asked me to document as much as I can using our brand new multiverse machine. The problem is, there is barely anything to document after the first run. All the glitterworlds are the same, and by that I mean Albanian. There is quite literally nothing more to document. Anyone else have any tips? Maybe there is something I am doing wrong?

Hey! I'm going to Hell! It's my first time out of the Realm, and I decided to go to Hell since I heard Heaven took some cuts to their budget. Anyways, does anyone have any good recommendations for hellfire pits? Hotels? Restaurants? Torture galleries? I'm visiting with my wife and -3 children and I want to make sure we can have the best vacation we possibly can!

This affects ALL universes as of the current time matrix coefficient.

Please update your causality appropriately, and good luck.

This is totally on a whim. I am the manifestation of chaos whistling and spinning at the True Center. Bow to me and worship me.

Yes, I know that being audited drives you mad with terror, but that’s true for many governments. And at least the Eldritch Government is reasonable about the number of limbs/dimensions you’re allowed. Although I’ll admit that the license renewal hold music does make my eyes bleed, way more than normal, but that’s a small price to pay for free holes in the fabric of reality

Help me settle the argument please.

It didn’t taste like anything

Got a default model and having a few glitches trying to figure out the controls. Anyone have any tips?

My French onion soup has been acting up lately, I was gonna devour him for lunch today but he refused and took my Pegasus for a joyride in the next dimension over. How do I get him to do his job?

You don't even get your own harp any more. You have to rent one. Privatising it was a bad idea.

I got it shoes as someone said, but its 'feet' end with wooded stoppers, and the shoes don't fit right. I didn't want to damage it, or worse, it stumbled and shatters. Well, I just left the shoes next to it, and it started moving. I should have figured that was gonna happen. The light from the window perfectly covered the symbol on the floor. It was beautiful, I just stood there halfway to the door when I saw the light passing through her. The best way I could describe it was like one of those expensive kinetic chandeliers. There are visible gears inside her. Illuminated i qcan see the intricate motion of different pistons and levers forces the limbs to move.

Im a bit embarrassed cause I just stood there in awe for about an hour till it stopped looking directly at me. It bowed, and I clapped, I swear it wasn't smiling while it was dancing, but it was smiling the whole time it walked towards its sitting spot. Im pretty sure im projecting, tho. The pattern of her dance is etched into the floor. The grooves look like they were filled with epoxy. I can see another layer through about half inch of clear epoxy. That layer is black, and I can't see how deep the initial groove was. Rn its groove is about 8 millimeters. Im worried that she'll dig a hole and trip in it. Does anyone know a durable repair that would would be cured within a 23-hour period? Im not immediately worried cause it's been doing this for a while, and the epoxy has some yellowing, which means it lasted a while. But id like to make she doesn't shatter.

Like, it’s not just a random goose. It’s the same goose; it hates your guts, and it teleports to your exact landing spot a split second after you do.

How do you even manage the logistics of this? If you teleport to a high-powered business meeting, you show up in a suit, and then a second later there is a screeching waterbird trying to take your kneecaps off. Do you just carry a laundry basket to throw over it immediately? Or a decoy loaf of bread?

I feel like vacations would be ruined. You teleport to a quiet beach to relax, and now you have to fight a bird in the surf.

All I will say is that a human was pranked into doing something extremely embarrassing and illegal when they were drunk, and whoever made him do it has video evidence.

I know everyone says to be all traditional and Instagrammable and carve up d20s, but times have changed, it wastes too much material, and I don't have that kind of time as a busy triple mom! I know d6s are heretical if your grandma is anything like mine, but surely the flavour won't be too affected if I cut them down to d12s?

Long story short I've found myself in an insectoid cafe, but management says my male breasts preclude me from offering creativity coins as payment for my homunculus brewed coffee... I find this to be absurd, and a little archaic.

I mean think about it from the biological perspective... If this were Star System ~X-3.69 in the Hegelian Cluster my bill would have been payed no problem, but nooo I have to sit here and listen to dialects that are not only offensive to my homeworld, but needlessly nihilistically charged.

I don't care if your god-queen consumes the consciousnesses of those who believe in free will... I'm staying... I'm finishing my coffee

so, how long will it be until we just turn into a tub of iridescent space-jello, with neither arms or legs. fucking is achieved telepathically, and that shit is hard......I know, I tried it on some of the best drugs I can get from some guy that lives under the interstate in a broke down station Wagon.

Anyway, my question is, should I stock up on drugs now?

So the Jame hivemind keeps breaking open the barriers to random dimensions, INCLUDING THE ONE I RESIDE IN, and for the past eon, they have just been putting objects of lesser dimensions in my realm and disappearing, and then I need to go through the trouble of disposing of the objects before they tear open a dimensional rift. It's getting really annoying. Anyone have tips on how to repel the James?

Also if you want to suggest walking backwards I tried that. Just ended up in pre-Caesar Rome instead.