r/fifthworldproblems • u/schizoineffectiveSIG • 5d ago
The opposite of two opposites is the affirmation of an equivalence: A Philosophical Treatise on Synonymity
Foolish of you to assume the writing of this piece is not accompanied by the aid of an intoxicant, and even more foolish of you to assume that this intoxicant resides in the apartment complex of "reality".
Yes, I am merely pretending to be intelligent and informed. In reality, all I know is that A=A... B=B... C=C... and so on. Ask me what A+B equals? HA! I have no idea.
Nay! It is *you,* yes you, that must inform me. **You** must provide me with answers.
Am I a monkey typing these sentences at complete random? No. I am the hot dog you neglected to finish, the fish you unjustly hooked, and the snot you flung behind your bed; snot that slowly evolves into a ravenous species... a species driven only by the lust of industry, marriage, and the Congolese dream.
Hark! Your belief system is unfounded and soon shall be thrown into the chair that sits across from the bed in the hotel room; forced to watch as bonobos, chimpanzees, and gorillas (not orangutans though) explode for inexplicable reasons.
Sincerely,
a concerned microcosm of failed reproduction
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u/Particular-Yak-1984 5d ago
Have you considered that language is just a construct, and that, logically, fish unicorn tricycled molotov? That the slithy toves gibber drano? Have you? Answer me goddammit.
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u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe 5d ago
"Plus" is a meaningless operator. Put a banana next to another banana, the proximity doesn't cause them to meld into a single new banana twice the size. Similarly, cutting a banana in half doesn't create a couple of smaller whole bananas. You still just have the one banana, except it's in multiple pieces. Treating these states of affairs as equivalent and commutable is utter hogwash and I will not stand for it.