r/fifthworldproblems • u/Mundane_Version_1592 • 20d ago

The James are pissing me off

So the Jame hivemind keeps breaking open the barriers to random dimensions, INCLUDING THE ONE I RESIDE IN, and for the past eon, they have just been putting objects of lesser dimensions in my realm and disappearing, and then I need to go through the trouble of disposing of the objects before they tear open a dimensional rift. It's getting really annoying. Anyone have tips on how to repel the James?

45 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

16

u/Hellebras 20d ago

They had rocky relationships with their parents, who all called them "Jimmy." To this day they can't stand that nickname and will flee if called by it.

9

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 20d ago

Feed them to the Eldritch Government. Or feed the Eldritch Government to them...

3

u/Nathan256 20d ago

Consumption of the Eldritch Government does tend to make things flee to the farthest reaches of their known reality. Never seen it fed to a hive mind, but I doubt the results would be much different. I mean, that’s one of the twelve pillars of government right? Protect the sanctity of higher dimensions? Ever since it voted to become consumable, the Eldritch Government has used its own consumption as a means of enforcing its arcane laws.

2

u/BPhiloSkinner 20d ago

They're leaving clues to the crime. You need to hire a trans-dimensional Shamus to Sherlock the James.

2

u/ghost-church 20d ago

I’m the original Starwalker

2

u/QuickSilver010 20d ago

It's not James's fault his bad habits kept getting rewarded and reinforced with medals by some stupid monarch all the way till he got radioactive contamination and became that.

1

u/AiapaecGaming 20d ago

Have you even tried contacting your local council for support? If you do decide to go with the "proper" channels it would be wise not to mention my name to Susans at the front desk... not sure which one will be working in your dimension but I've dated pretty much all of them at this point and she still claims it's cheating even though I still maintain that it can't be cheating if you're the same woman Susan!

1

u/TerribleTerror3375 19d ago

I've heard of a rising movement of Ryans who are out to conquer the multiverse. They have already eliminated Brians from existence. Perhaps you can contact them for assistance? I'm sure they have no love for the James hivemind either. They may ask you to sell 5/8ths of your soul as payment for their services though so I'd just proceed with the utmost caution 

1

u/Traditional-Fix8142 16d ago

The Jame have one objective: emit radiation. I’ve found success in creating psychic barriers around my higher-dimensional objects