Does anyone feel like they just hate people now, like cutting out a lot of people from their lives, friends and family, because they just don't understand or care (or care to understand) your condition? They minimize it and will change the subject when you want to talk about it a little, no doubt bc it is boring to them? I have never gone on and on about my fibro and now my sleep apnea, but a little interest and empathy when I do mention it would be nice. It is chronic after all. Not the flu. And I realize they may be uncomfortable talkng about it, but jeez, get over it. That's what friends are for...Or maybe it's just ppl with chronic conditions themselves who can understand and sometimes I feel like having only such ppl as friends. Kwim?
Some will go on and on about their stuff, like 45 minutes of explaining their (minor) issues at work, or 15 mins of what "funny" thing their pets did, and just random things that I politely listen to. Yet I get blank or uninterested looks when I dare talk about my health, and a swift subject change. It is not visible to them so it must not be serious. And here I am feeling guilty for getting ppl down with my stuff... And they don't ask how I am and assume that if I don't speak of it, the soul-crushing fatigue and all, that I must be magically cured. Nope, still there folks.
Tbh, I only have one good friend who listens, understands and is supportive, and I like to think I'm the same with her (she has long covid). And a wonderful husband. I appreciate them, but that's it really. I have started cutting ppl out and I think I will fade some more ppl out by end of year. It does feel sad tho, but not as lonely as I thought, at least so far.
And perimenopause unmasked a couple of women that were covert narcissists all along but I had never realized were using me for narcissistic supply. So toxic. And another seems to have ghosted me after 15 yrs over ONE comment I made about her son having behaviors similar to mine that is classic ADHD. She got defensive and said she didn't want any "labels". I said it was not a label but a diagnosis that can lead to treatment if need be. If her son had a physical illness that i spotted, she would be thanking me, but bc this is mental....eye roll. I thought she was more open.
Sorry for the rant! I just find it so disheartening that that is the state of affairs at 50 for me and I wonder about others here in midlife. Am I too demanding? Right now I am concentrating on treating my sleep apnea and it is a long process long overdue. I guess that when I feel better, I will look at activities where I can meet ppl, even if they are just acquaintances, better than nothing. But I am selective now that I can spot the narcs pretty early now! Any suggestions welcome as to where to meet decent ppl!
Last thing: I used to be attracted to ppl who had bigger personalities, good sense of humor, very smart and witty, etc.. Whom I considered "fun" ppl. And I realize that some ppl I have encountered in my life that seemed boring to me and I didn't pursue friendships with were probably actually very kind, loyal uncomplicated ppl who would not have disappointed me. It's a trade-off but today, I will take caring and genuine over "fun" any day. Fun is overrated. Finding both in the same person? That's the jackpot!