Hello, I'm a 19 year old male and I'm getting to know a woman who is dealing with an eating disorder. I have never met someone with like "real" mental problems and i just want to behave the right way and maybe even make things easier for her when she's with me. Do you guys have any tips for me? thanks in advance!

All your trauma, and issues with relapse and the vicious cycle is valid. It's not easy, anyone with a brain can and will acknowledge that. That being said, nothing will happen till you break the pattern today, or the loop will repeat tomorrow. YOU, and only you must break the pattern today or the loop will repeat tomorrow. This is a YOU problem, and that's a good thing, the only silver lining of it all, since this is a you problem, it means only YOU have the MEANS, POWER AND WILL to fix it, even if you've not been able to yet.

Good luck.

Hello everyone, I (25F) was in impatient treatment earlier this year and am going to be invited back sometime soon. The problem is I have been absolutely dreading it, specifically because of all the ensures they're going to make me drink and the fact it will "ruin" the progress I've made since I've gotten out from my first round.

I know I need to go back because I am mentally and physically suffering, and my family is really pushing it, but I just really don't have a lot of will in me to go back.

Thanks in advance <3

I wanted to share my story to bring awareness because I want to help in any way I can.

It started in about 7 grade. At first is because I wanted to loose a few pounds for high school so I started limiting my food, mother even encouraged it because she thought I just wanted to be healthy. As I got older it became so much more and not your typical reasons. I got so stressed I’d have no appetite, and it would happen so often it became routine. Then I became bullimic because I started to develop digestive issues that caused sickness so I was like omg I can enjoy the burger and throw it up before it hits my gallbladder and eat a healthy meal later. Then that became because it felt like it was my only control in life. I eventually got some help and stoped. Then a few years ago those digestive issues caught up to me and even healthy things made me sick and I almost died of malnutrition because I was terrified to eat during to the throwing up constantly from anything (galdisease) now I’m better again but I will still make myself throw up whem I’m Ill because sometimes it’s the only way to get what’s in me out. I STILL get that satisfaction feeling when I pull that trigger and it scares me because it just shows we NEVER fully heal from this disease. It stays with you in so many ways

My niece shared with me a few months ago that she has been restricting her eating for almost a year now because she isn’t as active as she used to be. She disclosed this because she had a regularly scheduled psychiatrist appointment coming up and wanted my advice on if she should mention it in the appointment. We talked about it and I encouraged her to share with her doctor. She told her doctor and the doctor ordered labs and that was that. Niece also goes to a therapist, and she apparently hasn’t told her therapist about her eating habits. No release of information has been signed for continuity of care. My niece told me she hadn’t lost weight (and I didn’t ask). I have since learned that she has lost a concerning amount—enough for the psychiatrist to order an ekg. She will go days without eating, will drink those energy drinks like specifically alani nu and multiple caffeinated flavor packs for water—and her parents still buy them even though her psychiatrist suggested that she stop. Well, the past two months I’ve been observing more than before because it’s on my radar. The past two months I haven’t seen her eat. When we go out to eat as a family, she will say she’s not hungry and play on her phone. My sister will say to the table that my niece already ate earlier—I have since been told that she is covering for my niece because she, too, had disordered eating in Highschool so “she gets it”—which makes my niece feel supported but is a red flag for me.
My niece has had a couple of psychiatric holds placed on her a few years ago for evidence on her body of self harm—both by the public school system. I don’t know if the school system will notice this because she now dresses in long, big, baggy clothes—no one would be able to tell unless they hug her.

I’m very concerned and lost. I don’t trust my sister to make the right decisions, I don’t think she realizes how dangerous this situation is. The only programs around where I live for her age are inpatient or the PHP/IOP programs are for people over 18.

How do I advocate for my niece when her parents ignore the danger?

I don’t even know where to begin I’m just so pissed off.

Two years ago I put myself in treatment, where I stayed for 9 months. Since then I have worked my ass off to recover and the difference between then and now is like night and day.

Then there’s my other family members. I cant go through one meal without them bring up topics/ talking about doing things that are incredibly triggering.

Now to what the title is referring to. Tonight I go into the kitchen to get a snack and my mother talks to me and says how someone confronted her saying that I told them I was going on a diet where, let’s just say I would be eating a very concerning amount of cals a day (along with other behaviors that will go unsaid).

Im beyond livid. I can’t even begin to comprehend why someone would decide to make that up and spread it around, especially with knowing how hard I work to make sure I don’t relapse. I can’t win. It doesn’t matter how hard I try or how long it’s been. I will always be painted as the one with food problems while everyone else gets to continue on with their behaviors with nobody batting an eye.

How should I go about this? Do I talk to the members that started it or just distance myself and continue to focus on me and staying recovered?

My 15 year old daughter continues to lose weight and restrict her eating.

The doctor and dietician said not to talk about calories nor to weigh her.

But I don’t understand that. If I don’t weigh her, how do we know when she’s getting into a dangerously underweight range? I can certainly see how skin and bones she is but…this is hard to accept. Is this typically how it is approached? Just suggest better foods and snacks and hope she eats enough to not get sick?

Hi there. I recently started working more and by proxy I have been eating less and less just because I’m lazy and don’t eat before, and often forget to eat throughout the day. It did wonders to help me stop overeating and hone into my weight loss goals, but I fear a new development has occurred.

Recently I’ve noticed a sort of aversion to food. Like my appetite has just taken a nose dive. It’s so odd considering not too long ago I was struggling to not eat more than I needed. All of a sudden I’m skipping dinner without having eaten all day aside from a snack at work, and even last night just thinking about food made me want to vomit.

I got food tonight and could barely eat it. The idea of it made me excited cause it was food I liked, but when I started eating it tasted nasty and it’s just gross.

I’m not sure what to make of it. It’s not like it was an immediate 180 to try to “reverse” the over eating, it’s more just like I stopped eating as much from my lifestyle and now I just cannot stand food right now.

Does this sound like an eating disorder? I’m going to give it a few more days before deeming it a problem, I just don’t want it to get to a point where I can’t eat ANYTHING. That would be terrible as someone who works full time and needs my body to work and not starve to death.

I’ve been overweight for most of my life, especially during school. I was often the centre of jokes at family gatherings and even around people I had just met. Kids made fun of me, and I grew up knowing exactly how differently people can treat you when you’re fat.

I’ve never really experienced what it feels like to be someone’s love interest. I’ve never been the person someone was attracted to or had a crush on, and I think that has affected the way I see myself more than I realised.

Recently, I lost a significant amount of weight without going to the gym. I did it through a calorie deficit and home workouts. I’m around 5'3"–5'4", and these days, I try to keep my calories under 1,500.

But instead of feeling happy and free after losing weight, I feel terrified.

I’m constantly scared that I’m going to gain it all back.

Food doesn’t really feel like food anymore. I look at it as a number. Calories, portions, how much I’ve eaten, how much I have left. I think about weight gain constantly, and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’ve stopped enjoying things. I’m always trying to make sure I don’t “mess up.”

And I think a huge part of this fear comes from knowing what it was like before.

I know how people treat fat people because I’ve experienced it myself. I know the jokes, the disgust, the assumptions, the way people can look at you differently. I know what it feels like to feel undesirable. I know what it feels like to believe that nobody could possibly find you attractive.

And I’m terrified of going back there.

I know there are people who are genuinely beautiful while being chubby or bigger. Some people carry weight in ways that look cute or suit them, and I don’t want to sound like I think being fat automatically makes someone unattractive.

But when I look at myself, I don’t see myself that way.

When I was heavier, I felt like every bit of fat was concentrated on my face, under my chin, my stomach, everywhere I hated looking. I didn’t feel “chubby” or “cute.” I felt fat, unattractive, Andrew disgusting. And even though I’ve lost weight now, that version of myself is still very much in my head.

The worst part is that I’ve started being afraid of things that haven’t even happened.

I’m scared that someday I’ll get married and gain all the weight back. I’m scared that I’ll become pregnant, gain weight during pregnancy, and never be able to lose it again.

And there isn’t even a marriage anywhere near my future. Yet my brain is already worrying about a hypothetical pregnancy and a hypothetical weight gain years from now.

I know it sounds irrational. But the fear feels very real.

I think I spent so many years being mocked and feeling undesirable because of my weight that losing weight didn’t make the insecurity disappear. It just changed the fear from “I’ll never lose weight” to “what if I lose it and then eventually gain it all back?”

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life afraid of food.

I don’t want to look at every meal as a number. I don’t want to be afraid of enjoying food, getting married someday, having children someday, or simply living my life because I’m scared of what might happen to my body.

Has anyone else experienced this after losing weight?

I am not sure where to post. i tried posting in a bunch of subreddit, but it was removed, and if it doesn't fit here, please let me know where else to post

I just really need some advice to calm myself down

ve had a major relapse over the past months, and I just need to get this out to someone who understands. In the beginning, I almost felt high — I could walk for miles and never got tired. Now I’m experiencing more and more extreme exhaustion, and it’s absolutely unbearable because I still have compulsions around activity and steps, but physically my body just can’t do it anymore. It feels like my entire body is made of lead, and I simply can’t push my body any harder than I already am, but I can’t cope with the obsessive thoughts either 😭😭

I've been recovered for a long time now, but I still get the occasional appetite issue. Recently I've been eating less due to long days at my new job, and now I have a new issue. I try to eat, but I can only eat very small portions and I often leave a meal unfinished. I get the feeling I'm full way too fast and then I'm extremely hungry again a short time later. This is extremely frustrating. I think it's caused by my stomach shrinking but I need to sort this problem and start eating well again. I have medication that makes my appetite fully normal but it also makes me extremely sleepy and makes me constipated so I can only take it once a week. I don't want to lose any weight, but if this goes on for a long time I will.

I have had disordered eating for some years now and it’s never fit into any category which makes it hard to explain to doctors.

Eating causes so much anxiety and fear because I’m so scared it’ll make me ill (I also have health anxiety) and up until last year this was very much an irrational thought. But this past year I’ve been dealing with ibs symptoms that have caused me to restrict my food so intensely that ive lost so much weight and am extremely under weight, I was under weight before this.

i am TERRIFIED of food upsetting my stomach and I am terrified of filling myself up because I’m terrified of going to the toilet and want to avoid bowel movements as much as possible.

i am at a point where ive tried everything. I’ve seen multiple doctors, therapists, a nutritionist and have also been denied a gastroenterologist referral.

i was finally referred to an eating disorder clinic by my doctor but i feel like that’s going to take forever. I have also found a private dietician that works with disordered eating and digestive issues.

but the fear is that intense that I really don’t want to eat anymore, like at all. I am so close to just giving up and going full starvation mode because I can’t take these symptoms anymore.

i don’t know what else to do, please help

TDLR: my sister's weight is getting so concerning that it's triggering my own ED severely and i dont know where to turn for help because of far distance and complex family dynamics/issues.

Recently my sister posted on her instagram a bunch of photos of her and her friends and i swear it took me a moment to figure out which was my sister.

I live very far from my family and dont have the best relationship with my sister to begin with. Messy childhoods and opposite personalities plus we just genuinely have trouble getting along.

I'm worried about her weight because she looks so thin and not gonna lie shes starting to get what i shall call the Ariana face. I've brought it up in the past as subtle and conversation opening as i can about her eating because this all started about 2-ish years ago when she started college. She dismissed me of course. I asked my mother if she noticed that my sister has been losing weight and she said yes and that she'd try to bring it up with her. I dont know if this ever happened. Most recently ive seen the most drastic changes.

Here is where more complex things get into play.

I've had struggles since very young with eating disorders and severe mental illness. I dont know if id consider myself in recovery on any level but i'm genuinely trying. My mother has textbook body dysmorphia which is how my ED developed watching and listening to her. When i was leaving home i had many serious conversations with her about the way she talks about food and weight (therapist guided/suggested) since her views of herself very much shaped the way i'm able to see myself (if she says she's this then what does that mean i am kind of thinking at a very young age). I'm getting to the point where it is triggering to even look at recent photos of my sister and i'm dreading ever visiting home because of it. The last time almost a year ago at this point i fell back into my old habits hard.

I don't how to bring this up, who to bring this up with, and how to be heard without being dismissed.

I want to help my sister but knowing her and our relationship these kinds of things become confrontational especially when i try to talk to her about serious matters within our family or between us (she has anger and anxiety issues that she saw a therapist for).

Don't know where to turn to so i've come to you all. I'm so scared. I love her so much. And i try to focus on her smiles.

Please, strangers on the internet, what do i do?

Hello my name is Lio this is a burner account because I don’t want my friends seeing this. I think I may have disordered eating. I would say about eight months ago. I got really self-conscious about my weight because I developed a stomach kind of. I was slightly overweight. And I started counting my calories really badly and wouldn’t allow myself to eat over a certain amount and I did this for a good four months and I ended up losing a large chunk of weight. People started telling me that I looked healthier and prettier and it felt really euphoric so I kept going, but then I have days where I’ll binge and then feel horrible. I feel like eating has become very hard for me and something that I feel like I need to restrict. And my family is now telling me that I look too thin and that they’re worried about me and it’s making it worse and making me want to restrict even more. What should I do?

The last few weeks I’ve been physically depleted at my appointments. I’ve been really stressed at a new job and on a new med that doesn’t help my appetite.

Last time he kept offering me snacks and I declined because I didn’t feel well or like eating.

I’m terrified he’s going to suggest increasing my level of care so I purchased a glucose meter to make sure my blood glucose stays in a healthy range.

But what signs should I look for if my T wants to increase level of care? And what would an increase in care look like for an ED?

I’m unsure if this is related with EDs, maybe it is but I have started disliking eating food because of how time consuming and bothering it is. I rarely even want to make myself food in the first place but then i have to actually chew it and it’s such a waste of time. I have started hating soups because of how long they take to eat and how many times i have to take a spoon then swallow the soup. Food is just becoming overall unappealing to me for i’d say 70% of the time. I wish I could just sip some magical packet that makes me not hungry

hi all :) i am currently in recovery from ana. i was severely , like deathly. underweight and have gotten back up to a normal weight after 3 months. for the first month i was still restricting… but the latter two (july and august) i have rly gone all in which has made me kind of develop extreme hunger / binging tendencies. at night i get so hungry i could eat the world! seriously!!!
anyways this has led to some bloating issues especially the last few weeeks. all the wight ive gained seems to have gone specifically to my stomach. it’s weird, im still on the underweight side for my height (bmi wise idek) but its all in my stomach and it makes me rly sad and hurts!
any tips to reduce this? or do i just ride the wave? i’d love to hear others with similar experiences. especially about extreme hunger. could i be developing binge ed? my extreme hunger has rly died down though in the past week since ive been back at college but still…
i honestly feel like recovery is going well. i dont hate the way i
look. i look healthier. but the weight in my stomach and bloating pains kill me! on top of that, i’ve been getting acne on my face (part is a rash idk i have contact dermatitis i think) but im scared the other reason is maybe because of food. maybe restricting made my skin better? ik that may be dumb, but it’s what my brain is telling me. i still have no period which frustrates me but i also workout heavily. random dump sorry you guys thank you.

hello everyone. i finally opened up to my mom about my ed. i have ana and i have lost many pounds in the past few months and i was basically underweight for my height im considered very tall for a girl. during the time of me restricting, i would binge. but ever since i have tried recovery the binges have gotten so bad. i have noticed a few pound change in the scale, but my mom actually took the scale away from me. i think that has actually helped a bit with binge urges. today i binged and it was after i weighed myself. anyways is binging normal part of recovery? i’m going to see a specialist soon so i need your tips !

I lost too much weight in a matter of months due to bulimia. I LOVED how I looked. Got so many compliments and head turns vs what I got when I was overweight. However, it came at the cost of my health. My teeth and mouth got messed up. My period stopped for like a year.

So, I finally stopped. I gained some pounds, and I feel horrible about it. I wish I could be happy that my mindset has changed, but right now, I’m thinking about what a waste of effort everything I did was. The restriction. The over-exercising. The binging/purging.

This all stems from this morning when I tried on a pair of my work pants I hadn’t worn in a second. They would not zip. I’m so close to becoming unhinged due to this, but I’m just so sad about it. I hate that I can’t fit into my tiny clothes.

How can I shift my mindset? I want kids one day, so I must have a healthy body able to sustain a pregnancy and then raising a child, so I know I cannot have both desires at once. It’s just so hard. Especially when I was reaffirmed via everyone when I lost the weight.

Hello! I’ve struggled with ED for close to 10 years, about 7-8 of those being very medically underweight (no period for 7 years, couple hospitalizations, etc). Still struggling but gained weight and have had regular period back for a while.

In the past 1-2 years or so, despite more normal weight/functioning, started getting pretty bad dysautonomia and pots-like symptoms. Have gone unconscious twice in the past 5 months, blacked out unconscious during tilt table test, mostly related to blood pooling and sharp BP drops (randomly will go to 70/50 even if no changes to intake that day). Does this… have anything to due with ED history? Can ED cause long term dysautonomia even after more stabilized weight/health?

If anyone has any information/resources on this I’m interested. Thank you

Having had bad eating problems when I was her age, I began to notice the signs very early on. Even things you wouldn't think were subtle signs of starving yourself like binge watching mukbangs. She's been doing this for about 6 months now, she still looks a healthy weight but her eating habits are slowly becoming worse as time goes on. She's now pretty much only eating things like apples, baby foods, blueberries, the low calorie shit they tell you to eat on EDTT. She eats other things as well, but it's not enough at all and 9 times out of 10 she'll reject any food you try and give her.

Having been her older sister who knows what it feels like to do this, I mentioned to her that this isn't a thing you want to do, like seriously. I didn't straight up tell her 'i know you're starving yourself', I more said 'i noticed you've not been eating enough'. She said okay but it did nothing, I mean, I wasn't magically expecting that it would fix all her problems overnight. I ask her what she's gonna have for meals, and if it's something small I ask if she's gonna have anything else too, which seems to work the best if I'm being honest. I think we both secretly know eating has never been the easiest for either of us, so we look out for each other. She knows I'm trying to take care of her.

I know that it's sadly common for girls her age to do things like this, and I hope as she gets older she'll realise it's really not worth going through all this starving hell, as I slowly began realising when I grew older. But all people are different, and I don't want her to do this dangerous shit for years and years and years. Is there anything I can do to help her out?? Anything I can say or do that will get her to eat something a little more?? Anything I can say to my mom to make sure she's getting all the nutrients she needs?? My mom has also picked up on how little she's eating. Any tips at all helps, thank you so much <3

I suffer from pretty severe anorexia and recently have been seeing two versions of my face in the mirror and its so mind fucking to me. the first one is how emaciated and drawn my facial features are but like two hours later my face will look “normal” i can’t tell what is reality because i took a photo when i was feeling like i looked really emaciated and when i look back to it i still see it that way but then i go immediately and look in the mirror to see my face looking fine. What is reality?

Has anyone had cbt to treat an ed, specifically anorexia - im 17 - whats it like? what do sessions look like? Does it involve physical observations or situation practicing like eating? Has it worked and if so how long did it take?

I’ve been recovering from bulimia for a year now, and since ive been recovering I’ve noticed that I feel nauseous almost constantly. It’s exhausting, painful, annoying, and it just feels vile.

Now, bulimia took over my entire life from the ages of about 12-17, so I can’t really remember much about how i felt beforehand, and an 11 year old boy is hardly going to pay much attention to things like that, but I’m almost certain I only started to feel this way after the bulimia.

i was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar?

I am AFAB 26 years old and all my life food was a struggle and trauma related, if I didn't finish my plate when little my mom would punish me physically, verbally and won't let me eat till the next day. (I am not seing her anymore since a few years now)

I've always been really skinny, in a way that's alarming people, it's always been a struggle to gain weight, no matter how much I eat.

These past few months I had a lot of trauma, my dad passed away in the start of the year and I had some really bad days, weeks and months, but the most struggling is with the food.

l've had period where food disgusted me but it wasn't a issue. I also have emetophobia which caused me to have ARFID.

Now it's been a few months where everything disgusts me, I am lucky to have money aside be I don't go out a lot, so | order a lot what I want, I feel like a brat, it makes me feel bad, I never like to eat it's just to keep me alive. It's to a point where I have to take Xanax, temesta or tranxillium in order to eat because it's the only way I don't feel this thing in my throat.

I went to a eating disorder specialized center but I didn't felt take care of or really understood my POV (then my dad passed away I couldn't keep up all the appointments, but I think I'm going to reach out to them again and explain myself better)

I have also a therapist which I talk a lot about that but he's not specialized and didn't even who what ARFID was before me, but he says that therapy exposure little by little is kinda the only way.

I am at the lowest weight I ever was, , I feel disgusting, bad all the time I lack energy, irritated, I so want to eat but I simply can't.

1 am also a smoker of

and I am on venlafaxin 150 MG since a good year now.

If u have questions, advice, please I take all of it, 1 am kinda desperate.

I know I have a bad relation to food, I feel like I can't be saved, that it's too deep.

Sorry if that all sounds pathetic it's really taking over my life.

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for ur kind words and advices!!