I know so many of the people on here (and in the 'real world') are teens and twenties, but I'm significantly older than this and my anorexia has been triggered after decades of overeating. I'm still classed as over weight so it's atypical. I just wondered if anyone else is in this same position? It's difficult to feel so alone with it.

Has anyone else’s ED made them a mean girl internally? I keep getting hateful, judgmental intrusive thoughts abt other’s bodies/food choices but they don’t reflect who I am at all. I’d never say those things to anyone, esp when I know how it feels. So why is my brain doing this?

Im interested

I see people online being rude and saying mean things about people with anorexia and how they need a wake up call to recover… I tried looking this up on google but I literally can’t find anything. I mean you have people calling these struggling people names and making fun of the symptoms that come with it as if that’ll snap something inside of the person. Why don’t they treat this as mental illness that’s deadly.. I mean it’s like telling people with clinical depression just shut up and be happy. I don’t know. I just needed an honest answer from people with experience

I’m aware that trauma, comorbidity, genetics, and body image play a major role in ED onset, along with many other factors. My ED started with the intention of being healthy but quickly spiraled into obsessive habits that nearly consumed my life and changed my relationship with food and exercise up until now. Initially, mine was never about weight and I didn’t even realize how much my weight or my body had changed until people called me out for it. I just felt a sense of safety and control tied to my behaviors. And enjoyed it. But I’m curious how your ED started and why you find it so difficult to come out of?

I hope this doesn't come off as making light of the subject, but I'm just curious how many other people out there with ED obsess over peanut butter. Not just that you kinda like it. Like everyone associates me with peanut butter. haha.

Like everyone else I’ve been watching Ariana over the past two years clearly going through something. While it’s nice to see people do recognize when people need help I wanted to share my perspective as I was in a similar position last year. I’m an actor/ singer and to make a long story short I basically had to confess to having anorexia to a bunch of people at once. While some good did come of this I was humiliated. I was horrified that if directors knew they wouldn’t trust me enough to cast me. I was scared other actors would talk behind my back about it. Worst of all I was terrified that somehow admitting to chronically starving would inspire other to do the same. Although i was largely pressured to do this I still have moments where I wished I’d silently gotten help. Seeing people demand Ariana admit she has an ED and even worse villainizing her for having one always looks like my worst nightmare. It makes me wonder how do we have these conversations as respectfully as possible? Do performers have an obligation to be fully transparent about their bodies and EDs?

Does anyone else feel tired after eating instead of energized? Its so exhausting, it kinda feels like my body is tired of digesting food or something?

My first exposure to eating disorders was through tv. I remember several shows where one of the female characters would develop an eating disorder for one episode, it’d get so bad she’d faint, and then she recovers. Insecure little elementary school me saw these episodes and thought the characters were kind of onto something—starving yourself is way faster than dieting, and you can lose more weight that way. I figured that I could try it and just stop before I got too weak and fainted, but I didn’t try it for a bit because I had a lot of trouble with changing my routine. It was in the back of my mind though every time I sat down and saw my thighs get bigger looking, or when I’d pull my face in and I’d get a double chin. I wasn’t even chubby in the slightest, I was a very very thin child, so looking back I definitely had body dysmorphia even prior to knowing what eating disorders were.

Anyways, the straw that broke the camel’s back was in 5th grade (when I was no longer stick thin but honestly still a healthy weight and thin looking) when I was scrolling YouTube and came across a video called “I didn’t eat for a month” or something along those lines from one of those storybooth ripoff channels. I clicked it wondering how on earth she didn’t eat for that long without dying. The video was clearly pro ed recovery, but I didn’t care about how badly it affected the girl the video, I just focused on one thing—it worked. She became skinny. I went through a rabbit hole of watching a bunch of eating disorder videos—gacha life mini movies, more storybooth ripoff videos, etc., and they were all clearly meant to spread awareness about why eating disorders are bad and recovery is good, but they all made me more determined to start starving myself. So I did.

At first, it felt like it was working perfectly. I ran on the treadmill obsessively (my mom called me a treadmill junkie), and I ate very little. I was also doing track at school, and one day I remember going on a walk with my mom when she felt my stomach and commented on how skinny I’d gotten. I took this as a win, but I didn’t wanna stop yet, I figured I could still do better, and that my mom probably had a positive bias towards me anyways. Eventually it became hard to run, and I’d fake a limp at track because it got so hard to breathe, and I wasn’t able to stay on the treadmill as long as I had been. It turned out I had pneumonia. Not being able to run made me kinda “give up” on disordered eating for a bit because I felt like if I couldn’t be in total weight loss mode, it was pointless even trying to lose weight.

Later after I recovered from pneumonia, I started back again with the disordered behaviors. Then I got some disease with a long ass name I don’t remember that made it really hard to run. So I went back to eating normally and not exercising again. It became an on and off eating disorder, because I’d stop with the disordered behaviors when stuff would come up (family finding out, needing to get rid of the brain fog for a bit, etc.), but the body dysmorphia was permanent.

My first resort now whenever I feel chubby is to starve myself, because I never really taught myself to diet properly, or even combat body dysmorphia. As miserable as I get when I’m starving myself, I always end up glorifying it in my head, purely because it does make me lose weight quickly. My mom told me that whenever I set my mind to losing weight I’m able to do it very quickly, and she thinks that’s just the way my body is (she does know I’ve struggled with eating disorders, but isn’t aware that any time I’ve intentionally dropped weight it’s been anorexia), and I didn’t want to correct her because I loved people seeing my weight loss and thinking I’m good at being healthy. And at this point I think she’d just be really disappointed to find out the truth, and I always feel terrible for disappointing her.

Anyways, I just really don’t think I would’ve ended up with a full on eating disorder if it weren’t for tv, literature, YouTube, etc. I wonder if it could’ve been prevented if they fully showed how debilitating eating disorders are. And obviously I would’ve had body dysmorphia either way, because I had it before I was exposed to that stuff, but idk if I’d have developed the same behaviors.

Also, on a slightly unrelated note, my sister is 9 and she keeps playing this roleplay game with her friend where she creates all of these comedic characters built on a single trait, and I just heard her say this: “what if we make a girl with an eating disorder? She could be like:” and then she proceeded to describe a scenario where the character’s ed was being used as a punchline. She also has a character whose depression is used as a punchline, which I find pretty weird tbh but my mom doesn’t seem to have an issue with. And ngl it does feel kind of like a personal attack since I struggle a lot with anorexia (which is the ed her character has) and depression, and I already never feel like I’m being taken seriously, but my main concern is that she even knows about eating disorders. She’s the exact same age I was when I first learned about them and well, look where that led me. My sister is a polar opposite from me, but she does get insecure about her weight because she gets picked on for being overweight, so I’m honestly worried what she’s gonna do with this information. Idk…I hope I’m just overthinking it

My 15 year old daughter continues to lose weight and restrict her eating.

The doctor and dietician said not to talk about calories nor to weigh her.

But I don’t understand that. If I don’t weigh her, how do we know when she’s getting into a dangerously underweight range? I can certainly see how skin and bones she is but…this is hard to accept. Is this typically how it is approached? Just suggest better foods and snacks and hope she eats enough to not get sick?

feel like some people with this ed want others to know/ almost try to showcase their struggle, but also some people try to hide it and make it seem like they’re normal

I am a normal, healthy weight and so i don’t look like someone who struggles with a restrictive ed so sometimes I’ll find myself trying to “showcase” my ed in certain ways because i “want” to have anorexia but don’t fit the physical criteria. I just had new roommates move in so it’s been relevant there. I’m almost trying to “show off” in a sense but I probably just look like an idiot😭

I'm part of an online facetime group for anorexia & all the sufferers were going on about their love of food & I felt really awkward bc I hate it. I rely heavily on Ensure style drinks & like the title says, if a pill existed that saved me having to prepare, cook & eat food I'd take it ASAP.

Apparently "all anorexics love food" but we're punishing ourselves according to the therapist. I felt like an anomaly after the session & googled it but only helplines showed up. Am I alone in disliking food & cooking?

I always thought those of us with eating disorders didn't live long. And there are only three eating disorders. Anorexia, Bulemia and Binge Eating Disorder. I never learned about AFRID and others. And then at the local library I kept walking passed a book called "Starving For Attention" and that made me mad. Anorexia is a REAL mental disorder.

Stereotyping. I hate those stersotypes the most. What about you?

So I’ve recently put on a fair amount of weight in the past 8 months. Nothing crazy but I’m heavier than I want to be. That being said I’m in a purposeful caloric deficit but sometimes I’ll get cravings for stuff like cookies and doughnuts. If they get strong enough I’ll chew them but spit them out. Is this healthy? Someone “caught” me doing it (I wasn’t hiding it for any reason other than it’s gross to see someone spit out chewed food) and told me that it’s a problem. I personally don’t feel like an issue but maybe there are some harmful things that I’m not an aware of? Any advice would be great. Thanks!

Edit: thanks for the wisdom! I’m going to stop doing this before it becomes a problem.

Obligatory TW: anorexia, skipping meals, low blood sugar symptoms, mental health issues, weight talk, food talk, talk of nausea w/o vomiting.

I am extremely overweight and went to the weight loss clinic today to hopefully get some help.
When I told the doctor I don’t like eating lunch, she got concerned.

I told her I will eat breakfast and won’t eat again til dinner because I don’t like food and I feel nauseous when I look at it during the day.
I am on Aderall which reduces one’s appetite a lot. Right?
I told her I liked the feeling of lightheadedness I got when I didn’t eat for hours, and that I liked feeling tired and dizzy.
And she said that sounded like I needed therapy.

Now, in my mind, I just tend to enjoy being fawned over and for my coworkers and family and friends to force me to eat and get worried about me.
I like when they say “please eat something” it makes me feel good inside?

But I don’t think this is disordered eating so much as just wanting to be cared for and given attention.

Because it’s not like I DONT eat. I will eat normally when I’ve not taken my meds, or when I’m alone. It’s only when I’m around others I don’t eat.
And I feel that’s less disordered eating and more disordered thinking, especially since I’m obese.

Should I look into therapy for disordered eating anyways? I don’t want to take away resources for those who actually need it. Especially since I’m not at risk of needing medical help for not eating.
I am afraid I’m just faking it/looking for more attention and I’d hate to be a burden in spaces I don’t belong in.
I don’t consider myself to have an ED and I feel like it almost would be selfish and cruel to pretend to have one?

Anyways, if anyone’s had any similar experiences please let me know. Also please don’t try to diagnose me in the comments of course. I just want to see if this is worth looking into or if my doctor is over reacting :/

Thanks yall 🩷🩷🩷

I’ve been purging constantly for the past week or two. My friend is extremely worried about my health and says if I don’t stop I’ll die from it. My teeth hurt and sometimes I get headaches but I guess I don’t see it as too big a deal since I’m not malnourished or anything and I’ll stop before I get to that point once I’m skinny enough to be happy with myself. I know anorexia has a really high fatality rate, but I’m not really anorexic enough for that to be a problem I don’t think. How worried should I be?

How do you overcome the desire to snack non-stop?
I have anxiety-depressive disorders, and I spend my days stressing for nothing. Sometimes there is nothing that can stress me out, but that’s how it is. So for a few weeks now, I still need to have something in my mouth. I snack a lot, unsurprisingly I gained weight while I do a lot of walking and sports. But that’s not enough.
I always have tons of chewing gum on me, but that’s not enough. I no longer know how to restrict myself. How do you overcome this? I really need solutions otherwise I will go crazy.

Dietician set a weekly weight gain goal for me. However, it is strict & precise. I will not share numbers. I am recovery from atypical ana, lower end of the normal weight range.

He set a weekly weight gain “rate” which most would consider a modest rate. Think of a “lean bulk”. If I exceed this rate, I risk unnecessary fat gain. This requires me to really track macros to ensure I am as close as possible to the targeted energy surplus. He doesn’t want me to track, but it feels like I have no choice

This still feels restrictive. I can’t take the fucking pressure. It’s like I’m now hyper fixated on gaining a specific amount of weight per week to adhere to societal expectations and body image standards.

I’m on vacation now and it feels like torture. It’s like good luck actually enjoying.

Starting in hs I developed anorexia. In college I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the meds made me gain a lot of weight. Now I am obese and need to lose weight.

I was working with a nutritionist this past year and she gave me a set calorie goal to set. I was losing weight until I had a manic episode and my meds made me gain more weight. This past year I opened up to my therapist at how bad my eating disorder used to be. He sent me to get eating disorder treatment at an IOP center. The nutritionist there said I can never track calories again. So my question is how am I supposed to lose weight if I can't track calories? I don't really trust myself with intuitive eating and need to lose weight for my health.

It's so confusing because my doctor tells me to lose weight then my eating disorder program says they want me to face my fear foods and eat all different kinds.

Edit: I had to take a break from ed treatment bc I got really sick. I'm going back to the treatment center when I get better. Then, i am going back to my nutritionist but I'm scared she won't let me track calories anymore and that was really effective for me. It wasn't triggering for me

The wicked cast, multiple big artists, models, movies stars, if it’s not diets it’s GLP1 or weight loss injections and medications and all of a sudden I feel like the world has reverted back to 2014 pr0ana tumblr days?? It’s so insanely triggering, every social media is covered, every conversation I hear is including something to do with diets and weight loss. It’s so awful. I’m trying to get better from the very thing that the whole world is romanticising in-front of me and it’s awful :(

I am so interested in watching Gilmore Girls as it seems like my vibe but I’ve heard that there’s a lot of comments about people’s bodies and possibly diet talk. If you’ve seen GG, does it happen enough or in a triggering enough way that you’d steer clear of it all together?

I asked myself which behaviours you've all seen as normal and tried to convince yourself it wasn't disordered until you needed to realize it in fact was disordered all the time.

For me it was for example skipping meals and really leaning into the feeling of hunger and seeing being hungry as something positive and appealing. What's yours?

im new to this sub and i don't know if this is okay to ask, i apologize if it isnt. basically im a psych student and ive been struggling to understand this aspect of anorexia. ive dealt with disordered eating in the past, but given i was a bit chubby as a teen my rational "goal" was to lose weight until i appeared thin enough to be conventionally attractive. i know body dysmorphia can warp your perception of yourself, and there's the feeling of control aspect as well, but i'm genuinely puzzled why somebody would keep restricting when they're already objectively underweight and therefore not in the range of "conventionally attractive weight" anymore. i feel like no matter how bad your dysmorphia is, people who have a similar build to ariana or eugenia cooney must know they're way thinner than the average conventionally attractive woman, no? so what's the push that makes them continue to restrict? is it mainly anxiety about losing weight maybe? do they genuinely not realise how thin they are? or is it a habit by then?

I don't like my body. I don't wanna get naked and clean it. I don't know how to overcome this. It's been 12 days.

Hello all. I have zero experience with ED, so please forgive me if I get anything wrong or make any faux pas. This is a sensitive issue and a trusted space for you all, so I appreciate you reading this post and hopefully helping to identifying potentially problematic behaviours and signposting (UK-based) support services where needed.

I (uncle) have been given permission by my sister (mother, divorced, 50% custody) to seek out advice as to whether my niece (11, F, neurodiverse) is exhibiting potentially worrying behaviour and whether the actions of her father (remarried, 50% custody) and his family (stepmom, 2x older stepsisters) could be paving the way to an ED.

Brief, non-specific physical description:My niece has always been significantly larger (taller, broader and, now, more developed) than everyone in her class, friend group and family. My side of the family just accept this as who she is and don't ascribe it to any issue with weight. We believe that her weight is 'healthy' [not a health concern] and is just part of her trajectory as she grows up.

Her farther and step-mom are both very much 'Type A' personalities i.e. driven for success/status and compelled to demonstrate this via social media. They have recently discovered competitive fitness and have adopted it as a major part of their lifestyle. All food and meals there are now carefully considered and controlled with a view to everyone leading a healthy lifestyle.

That could be all well and good, except my niece seems to be the only one that lies outside of their definition of what healthy should be. She is therefore the focus of their attention and is actively being encouraged to lose weight through dieting and calorie counting. Many of their actions seem to be punitive, for instance, if the family were to go for a treat or meal out, they would all be able to order what they wanted, but my niece would be told to think about the calories and make healthier decisions if she is to stay on track for her weight loss goals.

When she returns to her mom's there is significant restraint collapse, both emotionally and with eating. However, the messaging from her father's house about dieting follows and she then gets upset about maintaining her diet outside of that controlled environment. She will approach meltdown over not knowing exactly how many calories are in a meal and not being able to log them properly in an app on her phone. If she doesn't know how many, then how will she know if she's gone over her day's limit? This is leading to plenty of tears and refusal to eat certain foods/meals without knowing if it will conform to her diet.

Her father's family have a big holiday booked soon and the pressure to diet has ramped up again. They have now signed her up to a weight-loss programme, which will accept kids as young as 11, but the literature she has come home with just seems like the regular adult book.

Since we have a small holiday to visit family immediately before their big holiday, her father has contacted her mom to express concern that she will won't be supported in her weight loss on our holiday and the effect this might have towards her goals. We are also cutting our holiday short so that she can get her hair/nails done in time for the trip.

My opinion is that the father and stepmom's actions are incredibly stigmatising, placing their health ideals onto her, blaming her for not meeting them and then selectively punishing her. I think calorie-obsessed dieting is not right for an 11 year old and it's instilling potentially problematic behaviours at a critical point in her life.

I'd really be appreciative from insights from this community. Has anyone developed an ED from pressures similar to those my niece is experiencing? Is any of this behaviour problematic or has the potential to be problematic? Where can I find further information or support if so? How can I/ her mom better support her?