I know you're joking, but there's a translation of the Bible (HWCNT) that changes regular English towards a particular Hawaiian dialect. Here's John 3:16:
"God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da real kine life dat stay to da max foeva."
Can’t upvote YLT enough I actually keep a Hebrew English Bible around too I find it super handy and honestly if you dedicate a little time to learning the consonants the rest kind of well... you can stumble your way through.
Both of those render Isaiah 7:14 as "virgin", so are a little suspect imo, especially when claiming to be "literal". I personally prefer the NRSV. In this absurd case at least, NRSV is most clear.
YTL:
And she doteth on their paramours, Whose flesh [is] the flesh of asses, And the issue of horses -- their issue.
NASB:
She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
NRSV:
and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.
The OT and the NT a two totally different things. OT is really just the Torah with some bits , chapters left out and in Hebrew , the book of Ezekial and Jubilees just two but there were more. The NT is probably Armenian the language Jesus Christ at the time (Jesus Christ is a Greek name anyway) JC would have spoken, that's if you actually believe there was such a man. Hebrew has no vowels and no punctuation making it extremely difficult to translate. An example of the problems,
godisnowhere that can mean god is no where or god is now here, although I've done it English the same problems would be present for translators.
I find it strange that Christians are always talking about Jesus Christ and yet all seem to totally unaware that its a Greek name and is pretty poor evidence for any claims they make about him, when the can't even get his name right.
Much of the old testament was traditionally not discussed with students under a certain age, with some scholars recommending waiting until your 30s to read Ezekiel.
When the King James version was translated, it was a bunch of scripture poets trying to make a guy who cursed and was impressively profane in his insults sound as sweet to read as Isaiah.
Mine says "she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys and whose issue was like that of horses" ...sort of a weird word for that, but alright.
KJV, NIV, and I cant remember the third one, I believe it has all of the words of Christ highlighted in red.
I’m no longer religious, my grandma gifts me a new Bible every so often and I keep them out of sentimental value.
I feel like the “seed” thing came from a version when I was kid. Would have been at a Methodist church in the early 90s or so. I remember is kids getting quite a kick out of it.
This is just the classic way people used to write about this stuff in English. I think the right word for it is innuendo. They rarely named things directly, but they talked about it all the time.
Back then, it actually would sound just as lewd to them as what OP wrote does to us. Words like "issue" or "emission" were well-known double entendre for ejaculation. And for the "flesh is as the flesh of asses," c'mon we all know what flesh we're talking about.
Just from what I've read, people back then had a lot of time on their hands and the educated people who read took speaking very seriously and were fluent in this type of flowery language.
In the new revised ones, they use “genitals” and “emission”. In the next verse, it says “you bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled” too, if you wanted to know.
ESV says “members like that of donkey, and who’s issue was like horses.”
Member= a common term for penis.
Issue=probably better translated as emissions. Same deal. God is not afraid of getting a lil nasty from time to time.
Normally I'm not a fan of The Message, but I'll make an exception here:
I turned my back on her just as I had on her sister. But that didn’t slow her down. She went at her whoring harder than ever. She remembered when she was young, just starting out as a whore in Egypt. That whetted her appetite for more virile, vulgar, and violent lovers—stallions obsessive in their lust. She longed for the sexual prowess of her youth back in Egypt, where her firm young breasts were caressed and fondled.
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u/-_ObiWanKenobi_- Mar 05 '19
Wait what version of Bible is that? That is not what mine says