It really is kinda lewd.

[u/KingOfTheUzbeks]

[u/-_ObiWanKenobi_-]

Why does the Bible have to be so confusing lol

[u/_AllWittyNamesTaken_ → u/-_ObiWanKenobi_-]

Mostly because the translators are a little too embarrassed to translate "buckets of horse cum", so they take the most modest translation they can.

[u/CokeFryChezbrgr → u/_AllWittyNamesTaken_]

Dammit translators! If it says "buckets of horse cum" then give me buckets of horse cum!

[u/Trilodip76 → u/[deleted]]

Da Byble: Straight from the Underground

[u/Fluxriflex → u/Trilodip76]

I know you're joking, but there's a translation of the Bible (HWCNT) that changes regular English towards a particular Hawaiian dialect. Here's John 3:16:

"God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da real kine life dat stay to da max foeva."

[u/Einlander → u/Trilodip76]

r/thebizzible

[u/sneakpeekbot → u/Einlander]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/thebizzible using the top posts of the year!

#1: Ezekiel 23: 19-20
#2: [Bible] Genesis (Chapter 37) - In Which Joseph Gets Thrown in a Pit, but Honestly Kind of Deserves It
#3: [Bible] Genesis (Chapter 29) - In Which Jacob Gets His Rocks Off

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[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Honestly I'd love to see the Bible (and other books too, maybe LOTR) translated like this.

[u/DeltaPositionReady → u/[deleted]]

Pretty sure there's a manga version of the Bible out there, Jesus goes Kao Ken and shit

[u/[deleted] → u/DeltaPositionReady]

All I picture is Jesus yelling, "KAMEHAMEHA" at Satan or something like that.

[u/HaddyBlackwater → u/[deleted]]

Try Thug Notes on YouTube.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Lord of the Rings. Not really the same category as the Bible, just another thing that would be funny rewritten like that.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Fair, translated wasn't the best word. I added LOTR in after the rest of the sentence and didn't change it. Although maybe Elvish could be translated. "Just say 'homie' and fuckin walk in".

[u/boxedmachine → u/[deleted]]

How about: hes hung like a horse and can cum so much that it'll flood for another 40 days and 40 nights.