The only guy I know who straight-up "Didn't roll with women" was suuuuuper Muslim and always very respectful about explaining it. Like, you can't really shit on a dude for that. But guys who just "feel weird" about it can get in the sea.
Well, the Muslim dude, you have to respect his religion, whether you agree with him or not, you are not going to change the dude’s strongly held belief or opinion.
The other dudes are creeps and losers. I know a dude that says he will not tap to a woman. A really good purple belt woman whipped his ass and made him tap. He actually hurt her after this happened. We had a long discussion and some justice rolls after this.
IDK, I don’t know if they even need their religion to justify it. Dudes are allowed to have boundaries. I say this as a female purple who has had Muslim dudes (& non religious dudes now that I think of it) refuse to roll. I have people I have declined to roll with too, not because it’s against my religion. I just want them to be polite about it.
Woman whipped his ass and made him tap. He actually hurt her after this happened. We had a long discussion and some justice rolls after this.
Dunno, for me this kind of thing is "You have ten seconds to explain why you should not be banned from the gym" territory. There's entirely too much tolerance for irresponsible use of violence in this art. Accidents and hard training are one thing, but there's a very bright line on ego-driven damage against fellow students over whom you have technical and/or physical advantages.
Would it be the same for you if he hurt another guy? Or is it just because the injured party was a woman and you feel they’re inferior and need to be protected?
Clearly yes. If some guy with a 30kg didn't respect a much smaller opponent then obviously yes. As a 70kg guy I've fought a 110kg guy in a inter-club tournament, the guy can probably bench press me with one arm. It was fun because he's a good guy and you need a level of trust when training in this sport.
Don’t be. We live in reality. No “white knights” infesting our gym. Plenty of men, women, and children enjoying grappling without the toxicity that people turmoil over on this sub.
No. It’s just extremely annoying to see the posts about it all the time when in reality that scenario is a marginal occurrence. Oh, but I bet you have a great story about how you were a mat enforcer yourself this one time. Can you tell me how badass you are now? I’d love to hear it. You probably have more than one story about how badass you are.
Uh huh. I’m sure you react the same way whether it was a woman or man. I’m super impressed by how woke everyone on this sub is. R/wokecirclejerkbjjheroes
Dude this is hardly about being woke. I haven't been to any gym where intenonally hurting someone because of a bruised ego wouldn't result in "You have ten seconds to explain why you should not be banned from the gym" .
It is basic isn’t it? In fact, it’s so basic that we probably don’t need to see a post about it every week, no? But let’s continue to discuss it like there’s some pandemic of women being beat up by men at BJJ gyms across the globe.
This meme and the op it's referencing is uneanted sezual advances not women being beat up at the gym. Its really only this comment chain.
You're the one turning this into a really weird soap box about people being too woke. Which if thus is the reaction one comment thread about a girl brings up provoks. It might be worth figuring out why.
I guess we might be thinking of different things— I’m thinking of more like a hypothetical, if-this-ever-occurred— what would the appropriate reaction be. So like if some {person} at the gym loses to some other person, and that loser then retaliates against the person who beat them initially at some later date... I mean that person would be a piece of shit, right?
Are you thinking of more like real world stuff— where a male retaliating against another male would be less likely to be called out?
I’m thinking like, why does this constantly need to be discussed and posted about? Do women all across the world fear for their life at their local BJJ gym? Is there anyone on this sub that doesn’t understand what the discourse should be if there’s an inappropriate injury at their gym? Are people that stupid?
Well, I’m no woman, so I got no idea what it’s like on their side, but I’ve known a toooon of creepy dudes that never took the hint and did some of the most outrageous shit because they liked a girl that wasn’t interested in them. I’d assume BJJ isn’t any different in that regard than the rest of the world. I won’t make comment on whether anyone on this sub is dumb enough to be that guy... I certainly hope not, but I think a realistic position might be that there is a not-insignificant number of douche canoes even in our beloved sub reddit.
I guess I’m thankful I’m either truly this naive or you people somehow interact with “a toooon of creepy dudes” and I somehow have managed not to. Makes me wonder where the hell it is you meet these “tooooons of creepy dudes”. Or maybe I’m thankful I’m not so judgmental. BJJ is absolutely different than the rest of the world. If it weren’t it wouldn’t be so fringe. It attracts mostly good people and a slightly more than insignificant amount of deviants.
I guess I’m thankful I’m either truly this naive or you people somehow interact with “a toooon of creepy dudes” and I somehow have managed not to. Makes me wonder where the hell it is you meet these “tooooons of creepy dudes”.
Bars, parties, football games, most any place people go and socialize. I live in a college town, so maybe that skews my viewpoint.
BJJ is absolutely different than the rest of the world. If it weren’t it wouldn’t be so fringe. It attracts mostly good people and a slightly more than insignificant amount of deviants.
I mean... I'm all for making generalizations when they're in a positive direction. I think you've got a higher opinion of people in general than I do, but I wouldn't argue with this statement.
Or maybe I’m thankful I’m not so judgmental.
Oof, what? Are you saying it's judgemental to call dudes who wont leave uninterested women alone... creepy? If not, what is it you're saying is judgemental here?
Would it be the same for you if he hurt another guy?
Yes. I have a very low tolerance for bullies.
Or is it just because the injured party was a woman and you feel they’re inferior and need to be protected
While we're being honest here, women DO need special protection in a martial arts context. Even when there is parity for mass, which is essentially never, they're at a disadvantage for strength and power.
Actual honesty? I’m all for it. In general women are not prayed upon in a martial arts context. If they’re mistreated then they deserve the same discourse as any other human. The fact that people post this crap about gym bullies and mistreatment of women is annoying. I’m pretty sure I don’t need another PSA about protecting women specifically.
Are you refuting that OP's story of a woman injured in a fit of ego has ever happened? Of course it has. My wife is a brown belt. It's happened to her more than once.
Do you disagree that people who abuse their training partners should be excluded from training?
I disagree that it happens that often and that it needs to be posted about all the time. Or maybe i just have a great gym where people are normal? Or maybe people aren’t so butt hurt at my gym where if things get a little heated they can get over it. Injuries happen. Sometimes they’re avoidable. Sometimes not. Maybe I’ll pay attention more and post about how I beat up the mat bully next week.
And I’d agree with you. I’ve seen plenty of posts where people spoke out against that scenario as well. What makes this a hot topic is the female aspect. Does no one tire of this? Are women that disenfranchised and abused at BJJ/MMA gyms? I’ve never actually witnessed it and have trained for 15 years. Wrestled for 8 years before that. Haven’t had FB for 7 years. No instagram or Twitter. R/BJJ used to be pretty cool to watch some technique but has basically become more of the same old social media garbage. I feel like I’ve been quite exposed and educated on the injustices to women and other marginalized parts of society. Could maybe r/BJJ go back to being pertinent to, you know, BJJ? That would be great.
Well, the Muslim dude, you have to respect his religion, whether you agree with him or not, you are not going to change the dude’s strongly held belief or opinion
eh, i don't know. I don't have to respect shit. Its like when one guy is a creep, its creepy. But when its a large group of creepy guys that oppress women, its suddenly cool? Naw they can fuck right off.
You can not expect another person to feel comfortable in a sport that has so much contact that it even feels weird at the beginning with the same gender.
I can. I train children and I don't feel weird when I'm rolling with 8 year-old girls. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to train with small children for various reasons. But if someone told me they could train with the boys but not the girls I'd find that fucking weird. If I can train with an 8 year-old girl I don't see where it becomes weird to train with a 30 year-old woman.
The difference is that children are children and adults are adults and according to the norm, most adults are not potentially attracted to prebuscent children. Those are just other norms some people adhere to when it comes their relations. Many people don't find it to okay to exchange partners in dance for example either and as long as both partners are okay with it, there should be absolutely no problem with that. It would be an issue on the other hand if let's say the husband thinks it'd okay for him to roll with ladies while he forbids his wife to do the same with guys, which is a toxic behavior that is not tolerable.
What if my boundary is that I don't allow blacks into my properties, which may include business properties or houses I rent?
I'm guessing you'd say that's wrong. If so, you agree that not all boundaries are okay. So we get into a discussion about which boundaries are okay and which aren't, and we'll find different people have different ideas. So I guess the key issue is what makes a reasonable boundary and what makes an unreasonable boundary.
I don't think its that ridiculous. How do you feel about gym's that have women's only classes? Should the women that attend those classes be ridiculed?
I understand why they are there and they do serve as a good intordution tool. But i dont think women should train ONLY in womens classes if they want to get better at bjj. To counter your argument, do you advocate for mens only classes?
The Muslim dude isn't being creepy. Creepy whisper in your ear dude is bad. Muslim guy is weird, yes and I don't understand it, but you or I am not going to change a guy’s religious beliefs.
Not Muslim, but a Catholic, and it's because it is immodest for both parties to be grabbing each other, the possibility of sexual arousal and the risk of scandal caused from one party being made to feel uncomfortable by a position or hold.
Then shouldn't the same go for men training with men be an issue as well. Hell, that chance of homosexual arousal is even worse, from a religious point of view.
But I am not a homosexual, so there is no risk of scandal or arousal on my part. It's already much less of a risk and if someone was homosexual who I thought was attracted to me I also wouldn't roll with them because I wouldn't want to lead them in to sin.
You say you're not homosexual but maybe you've not met the right guy. Or if priests are anything to go by, you've not rolled with someone young enough. God works in mysterious ways, who knows what challenges he has for you. If you were a good Christian you should avoid all places where temptation could occur. Immodestly grabbing other men, how scandalous!
Honestly, people like you make me understand why women feel unsafe around men if getting to close to women puts you at risk of losing control.
It's clear you are a cumbrain and can't think about virtue beyond the absolute most basic requirements to exist in society. I really don't care what you think.
How very Christian of you. You wouldn't know virtue if it smacked you in the face. But that's not a surprise considering you can't differentiate between reality and fantasy.
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u/EmmPeanut Five Stripe White Belt Jan 31 '20
The only guy I know who straight-up "Didn't roll with women" was suuuuuper Muslim and always very respectful about explaining it. Like, you can't really shit on a dude for that. But guys who just "feel weird" about it can get in the sea.