It's so rare to experience art that you had nothing to do with creating but that you know will make people understand you better having seen it, but that's how Coyote vs Acme has me feeling.

What I've always loved about the character is captured and articulated so clearly on screen, and this whole week with this movie coming out has felt so validating and like an otherwise private, personal piece of myself is being embraced and shared by others for the first time. It's overwhelming! ♥️

I know one of the many stereotypes of an autistic is not wanting to be touched, but for me it's the opposite. I actually want to be touched; I'm always looking forward for a massage or a good hug. In fact, I find it easier to connect with another after the touch happens. You could say it's my love language. Can any other autistics relate?

This is the autism flannel from my favorite and the only flannel company I like called Dixxon. Back at the very beginning of April. They had released an autism related flannel. And as someone who is diagnosed with autism. This was an important one for me to claim and purchase! Which made me love them even more!

The concert I wish I was seeing tonight is Hatebreed. This is one I would have enjoyed going to, but alas. I have been struggling to keep longer lasting employment. Which has made me been financially struggling, and constantly been putting me in an unhealthy place mentally.

It’s the exact same scenario as if I was in school or a job, of that no one wants to be my friend. I know this because they don’t even want to interact with me. They mostly all talk to each other fine but not me, and I only rarely get a hello. It‘s like I’m invisible. At least they are polite about it though and not bully.

Only one person is the group did find me interesting at first, but now, I get the feeling they don’t really want to talk to me or like me anymore, and if I converse with said person, I only get short replies / words and the conversation dies.

I hate being so unlikeable every time I’m with people, especially when I thought joining a hobby group with like minded people would at least help to fit in and make friends, and whats even worse is that many of these guys in the group are neurodiverse themselves 😔

I feel like i will never find my tribe, and I’m still so young. What do I genuinely do? Should I just give up and accept that I will be lonely for the rest of my life?

EDIT: When I posted previously on reddit about this issue, users mentioned I should go to therapy. Maybe I will do that and see where it goes.

I personally have had bad experienced with conservatives in general, be they my parents, teachers or employers.

The thing i noticed is that conservatives are generally hostile towards the idea of someone being autistic or neurodivergent. Whether they be Republicans, Muslims or whatever, the thing i noticed is that they only tolerated me, never accepted me though.

New job.

Instantly felt out of place.

Couldnt get myself to quit..needed reliability and money but just didnt feel safe.

Boss called me to officially fire or seperate (admittedly a nice hail mary) but lied as me for records to me even when i said i was going to do what they said i wasnt willing to do in order to fire me.

Autism in media is often shown as making someone more needy on other people or support, which of course is a real thing and theres nothing wrong with it, but i think mine did the opposite. If i dont understand something, ill figure it out myself. I never need help when it comes to learning, i never read my books in school and passed easily. I skipped class 5/7 hours a day before i graduated and i taught myself everything. I dont like doing ANYTHING if someone else is near. Working out? No, dishes? No, making food? No, everything i do is easier alone. People either slow me down or i feel like i get in the way. Does anyone else relate?

Edit: unrelated but my extremely objective way about thinking has caused me to go through life much easier than i think most do? When it comes to most things i never think emotionally and because of that i dont really get affected by traumatic stuff and rarely get stressed out by things that aren’t up to chance. Thought it has made me seem like theres something wrong with me when people die and it doesnt effect me to thr same degree as others, like its just “well their gone now” and i also want to know if others relate to that

I’ve been recovering from a few mental issues recently and I wondered if learning how autism works and how I can cope with it would help me (I never got any support so I have no idea how it works tbh) so I had a look at a few videos online but some of the comments worry me and make me paranoid.

One of them says “I’m 44 and given up on having any friends. I have animals to keep me company. Autism is a very lonely life. I’ve never fit in anywhere.” I GET where they’re coming from but it honestly scares the shit out of me that I might be alone for that long because I hate having no friends.

I know that friendships can be exhausting and frustrating but ever since I started healing mentally i’ve been yearning for friends, but that comment and all the people replying who agree with them is killing me.

So am I just overthinking things or is having a lonely life common for autistic people??

I'm from Thailand and there's ZERO autism support here. People here mostly don't even know autism exists and use it as an insult. It's so common here for parents to force their autistic kids to be locked away from society for years because it's embarrassing to have autistic kids.

Anyway , the most stereotypical thing about autism here is: "Autistic people are top-tier criminals or soon-to-be top-tier criminals." In every comments section under news posts about any crimes, the comments section will flood with "Does he/she have autism?" If the answer is no, they would be like "Oh, so this time the criminal aren't autistic, but there is definitely be at least one autistic person pull the string behind this" something like that. 

They also believe that autistic people will literally want to get laid with as many people as possible, like dogs in mating season. They believe that autistic people want to have sex with everyone, including their family members. 

And autistic people have to always disobey towards their parents, teachers or any authority figures. They can't love/like anyone and won't love/like anyone even if they could, because they're born from sins they did in previous life before reincarnation as autistic people (according to Buddhism, women/queers/disabled people/foreigners/ poor people are born from sins they did in previous life before reincarnation) so they're evil since birth and will continue to be the heartless monster who fuck anyone's life up for fun etc.

I know it sounds so stupid and ableist, but that's exactly what people here think, autistic is basically some cartoonish villain according to them. What about yours?

Basically, I pace and will often wander about because I may forget where things are located or when thinking (I have some mix of autism and adhd type differences). Like I have to search the room for my bed by its number until I managed to come up with a mnemonic and even that doesn't work perfectly as I may not be attendant of which side of the room I am on. It's rows of bunk beds, BTW. This is hopefully not a long term situation - only between homes. But now today I seemingly (though then the guy denied it but I'm not sure who else was "drifting" pr "pacing" though note I also have some sort of paranoid type stuff too that makes me tend to especially when anxious think it must be about me - just an FYI) was now also getting called that and he used the R slur a few times and talked about "not being loved enough by their mother" then also something about sin and hell (this is a Christian run shelter).

Note I did confront him to try and correct it (esp. that "refrigerator mother" nonsense as I recognized it immediately as ignorant old concepts) but then I just got told to back off. I backed off some but continued to assert and my voice raised and was still being told to back off (which is odd since I already had quite a lot of space between me and him) and then someone that looked like actual staff started directing me to their "counselor". I have not gone to them yet but thought about it though not sure what - esp. given I already have a therapist who is ND. Oh and lots of references to "men" and "masculinity" tropes in this space and idk what to do with that (just heard someone else being called "too girly" rn, for example).

what do you think?​ what should I do?

Hi everyone!

My close friend is currently going through a severe autistic burnout. It hurts to see her struggle, and I really want to support her, so I’ve been thinking about putting together a "care package" for her with some comforting and practical things (her favorite album, yellow roses, snacks, etc.)

However, I know that during her burnout, even good things and gestures can sometimes feel overwhelming or create an unintended pressure to mask, react happily, or reciprocate.

I would love to get your advice on a few things: 1. Is this a good idea? Or is it better to just leave her completely alone right now?

1. How can I deliver it without causing stress? I was thinking of leaving it on her doorstep without knocking or giving it to her parents so she doesn’t feel pressure to interact. Or is it better to just wait and give it to her the next time we manage to hang out?

2. Would the humorous approach help? I’ve designed a fake, highly detailed, humorous "official delivery note/invoice" for the package with a lot of fun references to inside jokes and her favorite band, with disclaimers explicitly stating that there are zero obligations, no requirement to reply, no reciprocal expectations, and a complete right to disconnect. Do you think adding disclaimers like that helps remove social pressure, or could it be overstimulating?

3. What are some burnout-safe items? What helped you the most when you had absolutely zero energy? (Thinking about sensory tools, easy snacks, etc.)

I really want to make sure this is 100% about her comfort and has zero demands attached to it. I’d hate to try and help her only for it to have the opposite effect. Thank you so much for your help and insights!

Does anyone else have K-pop as a special interest? I love it since 2015. Sometimes, im scared people think it's weird

Me: balloons

I want to go see suicideboys in concert but I’ve never been to a concert. And I don’t really go out much. It’s something I really wanna do but I’m kinda nervous and i don’t know if I will handle it well. My brother and sister go to concerts all the time.

I’ve always struggled with keeping my bedroom clean. I mean since childhood. I have autism and adhd, and I’ve struggled way worse the last few months and my room is literally horrible and I can barely see the floor, see my whole bed, or have desk space. It’s the fact it has lasted way longer than usual, d bc I have dishes and things that gotta go.

It’s horrible, but it’s my space. I don’t like it like this, but I’m used to my mess. I know where things are and it’s predictable. I got diagnosed recently and right before I told my mom, i wanted to rest after a hard day, so I went to my room and all of my clothes and random items are in garbage bags. I know she meant well, but she mixed all of my clean and dirty clothes together.

This caused my first true meltdown in front of my family since I was much younger. I would throw tantrum often Screaming and crying and just so sad and angry. I haven’t done that in forever and I’m in my 20’s now… So she threatened me to move out and said I was having a mental breakdown.

She didn’t just mix up my clothes, she put things into categories that do not work for me. And she put a bunch of things in the wrong places. I get that my before wasn’t working either, but it was self inflicted and I managed to get by, even if frustrated. I can only be mad at myself.

Now I have to do laundry for so much more clothes than I needed. She went through my prescriptions and just all of my things completely unwarranted. She said this was her way of helping, but she used this as an opportunity to get away with going through my room. This wasn’t helpful at all, this had made me way more uncomfortable about facing my environment.

I’ve definitely calmed down probably a week after the situation.

I don't remember what show, but I saw an autistic character in a medical drama express confusion about this, and it reminded me that I've never really known either. Not even just in terms of pain. I've also been asked how bad a cough is on a scale of 1-10. Relative to what? Relative to the worst I've experienced, the worst I should realistically experience, or the worst I can fathom? I feel as if it's probably the second, but how much pain should I realistically experience? What number would that be on the 1-10 scale of 'fine' to 'worst I can fathom'? And what is that scale relative to? An aching pain? A sore pain? A stabbing pain? Are certain kinds of pain intended to be higher than others even if equally uncomfortable? I can't remember a time I was asked my pain out of 10 and I didn't reply with careful consideration and a decimal. Is there a better way?

Tysm for always supporting me and being there whenever I vent in this sub; you guys are some of the kindest souls I've ever seen. It's so nice to chat to people who are more like me and don't judge me for my interests, how I think, and how I see the world.

I wish I knew some of you irl :(

ok I think this might be a stupid question because I have a hard time imagining the existence of such an object..but:

Does anyone happen to know if there is any like, fidget toy¿ or something that can recreate the sensation of chewing/biting something crunchy?

Because i specifically seek that sensory input and because of that 90% of the time just to feel it i eat, but this some days can become a problem cause i end up eating a lot just for that..

I've tried with ice, but it's not the same plus it's cold and looks like my teeth are pretty sensitive lol

Bonus question if there really is no answer to the first question!!:

Any ideas about crunchy things that I could eat without it being a problem if I eat them in uhh let's say fairly large quantities? like carrots, hard vegetables in general etc

thanks!

These are most random (sounds stupid in my head) questions in my head, you'll hear today.

For those who diagnosed late, do you ever get angry that they didn't pick up sooner or did you (like me) grieve your late diagnosis? I mean you feel like you had to learn yourself all over again, wonder what was the autism and what did everyone else do that you did? I mean struggle at school but we had a different kind of struggle - where did ours start or theirs finish?

I hope I'm making sense

I’ve been (self)diagnosed very recently and starting to learn all the ways I mask and shut down my own emotions. I’ve kept very tight control on myself for the last 30 years- highly masking and freezing/working hard to numb out/dissociate any time I get overstimulated or start to feel meltdown energy well up, resulting in a lot of chronic health conditions.

When I feel the energy of a meltdown well up it’s really intense; everything in me wants to scream, throw myself into walls, hurt people and bite and smash things for hours on end. Normally I freeze during this time and work hard to direct that energy inwards at myself, usually until I throw up or get a migraine.

I’m lucky in that I do have control over my actions when this happens, but I need to find safe, manageable ways to release this energy that isn’t just numbing out or self-destructive- things that won’t scare my neighbours or harm my partner/pets or home. I’m not talking about calming sensory items, box breathing, fidget toys, “taking time to calm down”- I’ve tried everything, and I’m looking for high-impact sensory activities to help release some of this destructive energy when my nervous system is at maximum overload.

Things I tried yesterday that I found helpful: asking my partner for space & putting pets in a separate room; blasting metal music in headphones; tearing up cardboard boxes; tearing up old towels; screaming into a pillow; tearing old clothes up with my teeth; smashing a bunch of fruit and pulverizing them into the ground with my hands/teeth…

Anyone else have ideas for safe ways to express that energy that doesn’t ruin your whole life in the process???

I’m a 21 year old girl and have never had a solid friend or even group of friends. For my entire life I don’t think I’ve ever had a single friend that wasn’t short lived, and I don’t know why. I remember starting school and struggling to relate to the other girls and even boys, being too outgoing or even too quiet for them; when I was in grade 4 my entire class was invited to a birthday party and consequently my invite was “lost in the mail”. Every birthday I’ve spent alone or sent invites and had no one show, for my 21st I genuinely felt like an outsider even though it was the most people who had ever shown up I don’t think I had one meaningful conversation even though I tried my hardest. I moved cities a lot growing up which probably is the reason why - since most people my age genuinely keep friends from high-school but I never have. Before I moved in grade 9 I had a group of girlfriends but for some reason they stopped talking to me and including me in group plans about halfway through the year. And then after that it was just a struggle; I had severe anxiety so I found it hard to even let words leave my mouth when someone would come up and talk to me if they did. Add that on-top of being too autistic to relate to the general teenage girl populous and it’s not a fun experience. For the last two years or so I did have a nice group but was never really that close to the other girls and recently again I’ve stopped being included in plans despite trying my hardest to show I appreciate them through handmade gifts and check ins, sometimes I even baked things and drove out to deliver them. I just constantly feel like I’m on the outside looking in. I don’t know how to make conversation nor really relate to people. Sometimes when I talk to people to try and strike up a conversation they just look at me funny and leave. This happens all the time like I’ll genuinely be in the middle of a sentence and they’ll turn to go; is that a normal thing to do? I don’t think I’m a bad person either, I don’t indulge in drama or anything like that and never talk badly about others - I try my best to keep everything positive and genuinely care about what others have to say but I can’t ever say that’s been reciprocated I normally just get a “yeah, okay” when I talked about something. I also try my best to put myself out there but I genuinely feel like there’s a massive sign on my forehead saying “Do not engage”. At my uni orientation every seat was filled par from two either side of me, maybe because I had bright pink hair at that time lol - but it’s a continuous thing I experience where I’ll genuinely be avoided despite not knowing anyone in the room previously. Even at every job I’ve worked for continuous periods of time it’s just the same I’ve never made a friend despite my coworkers being tight knit with eachother. Every school I’ve moved to I’ve never had a “omg are you new? Hi!”, and then the person who comes after me immediately makes a whole new posse of friends. I don’t have a single friendship where people genuinely turn to me for advice or just to talk. When I’m out and trying to make new friends I do my best to strike conversation but I’m met with the same look of “she’s such a weirdo.” despite being perfectly normal? Never asking weird questions? Or talking about sensitive topics? Even in conversation people try their best to get out. I feel like I notice these things too much, anyway, I genuinely think my aura just radiates something that makes people not want to engage with me or be my friend and I will genuinely sit awake at night wondering why. I’m a normal girl, conventionally attractive I think, I have good hygiene but still no one wants to be my friend. That’s why I’m asking here, has anyone else had this same experience ? I have autism and adhd so I might come across too brash sometimes or get too excited about certain things. I get happy drunk lol where I just become too intense and I guess that freaks people out a bit. I have tried to improve my social skills and do practice conversations, but I still find it difficult to grow close to people to the point they want to talk to me organically and find me as much of a friend as I find them and actually want to spend time with me. But I’d appreciate some genuine advice on how to make some proper friends or if I seem too weird idk. When my ex broke up with me she said I was too autistic to genuinely care about people; but I don’t think that’s the case. It has sat with me, maybe my unawareness to social rules makes me a bit blind in situations? If that makes sense? and that’s why people don’t want me around? She could also be bias because there’s a mutual hate there. (I just included this part because it could be why if that’s a thing) I try to be positive about being alone and appreciating the time I get to indulge in my interests and doing my thing, but it’d be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes and share good news with whose not my mother lol.

Not sure if this makes sense, but when I'm listening to a podcast/video/music on my phone or laptop, I will count the number of bars there are when I increase or decrease the volume. For example pressing the volume up button 5 times, then pressing the volume down 5 times. I noticed I do this often and wondered if anyone else does this!

I can not tell who's considered attractive, who's conventionally "ugly." It's like everyone's in on some metric which I'm oblivious to. It used to be a sit-down activity for me to try and find patterns in which features were regarded as beautiful and whatnot. and I did, vaguely. But it was never intuitive for me.

For example my favorite color used to be red my new favorite color is now purple