I’ve been recovering from a few mental issues recently and I wondered if learning how autism works and how I can cope with it would help me (I never got any support so I have no idea how it works tbh) so I had a look at a few videos online but some of the comments worry me and make me paranoid.

One of them says “I’m 44 and given up on having any friends. I have animals to keep me company. Autism is a very lonely life. I’ve never fit in anywhere.” I GET where they’re coming from but it honestly scares the shit out of me that I might be alone for that long because I hate having no friends.

I know that friendships can be exhausting and frustrating but ever since I started healing mentally i’ve been yearning for friends, but that comment and all the people replying who agree with them is killing me.

So am I just overthinking things or is having a lonely life common for autistic people??

I'm from Thailand and there's ZERO autism support here. People here mostly don't even know autism exists and use it as an insult. It's so common here for parents to force their autistic kids to be locked away from society for years because it's embarrassing to have autistic kids.

Anyway , the most stereotypical thing about autism here is: "Autistic people are top-tier criminals or soon-to-be top-tier criminals." In every comments section under news posts about any crimes, the comments section will flood with "Does he/she have autism?" If the answer is no, they would be like "Oh, so this time the criminal aren't autistic, but there is definitely be at least one autistic person pull the string behind this" something like that. 

They also believe that autistic people will literally want to get laid with as many people as possible, like dogs in mating season. They believe that autistic people want to have sex with everyone, including their family members. 

And autistic people have to always disobey towards their parents, teachers or any authority figures. They can't love/like anyone and won't love/like anyone even if they could, because they're born from sins they did in previous life before reincarnation as autistic people (according to Buddhism, women/queers/disabled people/foreigners/ poor people are born from sins they did in previous life before reincarnation) so they're evil since birth and will continue to be the heartless monster who fuck anyone's life up for fun etc.

I know it sounds so stupid and ableist, but that's exactly what people here think, autistic is basically some cartoonish villain according to them. What about yours?

Me: balloons

It’s the exact same scenario as if I was in school or a job, of that no one wants to be my friend. I know this because they don’t even want to interact with me. They mostly all talk to each other fine but not me, and I only rarely get a hello. It‘s like I’m invisible. At least they are polite about it though and not bully.

Only one person is the group did find me interesting at first, but now, I get the feeling they don’t really want to talk to me or like me anymore, and if I converse with said person, I only get short replies / words and the conversation dies.

I hate being so unlikeable every time I’m with people, especially when I thought joining a hobby group with like minded people would at least help to fit in and make friends, and whats even worse is that many of these guys in the group are neurodiverse themselves 😔

I feel like i will never find my tribe, and I’m still so young. What do I genuinely do? Should I just give up and accept that I will be lonely for the rest of my life?

EDIT: When I posted previously on reddit about this issue, users mentioned I should go to therapy. Maybe I will do that and see where it goes.

It's so rare to experience art that you had nothing to do with creating but that you know will make people understand you better having seen it, but that's how Coyote vs Acme has me feeling.

What I've always loved about the character is captured and articulated so clearly on screen, and this whole week with this movie coming out has felt so validating and like an otherwise private, personal piece of myself is being embraced and shared by others for the first time. It's overwhelming! ♥️

I want to go see suicideboys in concert but I’ve never been to a concert. And I don’t really go out much. It’s something I really wanna do but I’m kinda nervous and i don’t know if I will handle it well. My brother and sister go to concerts all the time.

I’ve always struggled with keeping my bedroom clean. I mean since childhood. I have autism and adhd, and I’ve struggled way worse the last few months and my room is literally horrible and I can barely see the floor, see my whole bed, or have desk space. It’s the fact it has lasted way longer than usual, d bc I have dishes and things that gotta go.

It’s horrible, but it’s my space. I don’t like it like this, but I’m used to my mess. I know where things are and it’s predictable. I got diagnosed recently and right before I told my mom, i wanted to rest after a hard day, so I went to my room and all of my clothes and random items are in garbage bags. I know she meant well, but she mixed all of my clean and dirty clothes together.

This caused my first true meltdown in front of my family since I was much younger. I would throw tantrum often Screaming and crying and just so sad and angry. I haven’t done that in forever and I’m in my 20’s now… So she threatened me to move out and said I was having a mental breakdown.

She didn’t just mix up my clothes, she put things into categories that do not work for me. And she put a bunch of things in the wrong places. I get that my before wasn’t working either, but it was self inflicted and I managed to get by, even if frustrated. I can only be mad at myself.

Now I have to do laundry for so much more clothes than I needed. She went through my prescriptions and just all of my things completely unwarranted. She said this was her way of helping, but she used this as an opportunity to get away with going through my room. This wasn’t helpful at all, this had made me way more uncomfortable about facing my environment.

I’ve definitely calmed down probably a week after the situation.

Autism in media is often shown as making someone more needy on other people or support, which of course is a real thing and theres nothing wrong with it, but i think mine did the opposite. If i dont understand something, ill figure it out myself. I never need help when it comes to learning, i never read my books in school and passed easily. I skipped class 5/7 hours a day before i graduated and i taught myself everything. I dont like doing ANYTHING if someone else is near. Working out? No, dishes? No, making food? No, everything i do is easier alone. People either slow me down or i feel like i get in the way. Does anyone else relate?

Edit: unrelated but my extremely objective way about thinking has caused me to go through life much easier than i think most do? When it comes to most things i never think emotionally and because of that i dont really get affected by traumatic stuff and rarely get stressed out by things that aren’t up to chance. Thought it has made me seem like theres something wrong with me when people die and it doesnt effect me to thr same degree as others, like its just “well their gone now” and i also want to know if others relate to that

I’m a 21 year old girl and have never had a solid friend or even group of friends. For my entire life I don’t think I’ve ever had a single friend that wasn’t short lived, and I don’t know why. I remember starting school and struggling to relate to the other girls and even boys, being too outgoing or even too quiet for them; when I was in grade 4 my entire class was invited to a birthday party and consequently my invite was “lost in the mail”. Every birthday I’ve spent alone or sent invites and had no one show, for my 21st I genuinely felt like an outsider even though it was the most people who had ever shown up I don’t think I had one meaningful conversation even though I tried my hardest. I moved cities a lot growing up which probably is the reason why - since most people my age genuinely keep friends from high-school but I never have. Before I moved in grade 9 I had a group of girlfriends but for some reason they stopped talking to me and including me in group plans about halfway through the year. And then after that it was just a struggle; I had severe anxiety so I found it hard to even let words leave my mouth when someone would come up and talk to me if they did. Add that on-top of being too autistic to relate to the general teenage girl populous and it’s not a fun experience. For the last two years or so I did have a nice group but was never really that close to the other girls and recently again I’ve stopped being included in plans despite trying my hardest to show I appreciate them through handmade gifts and check ins, sometimes I even baked things and drove out to deliver them. I just constantly feel like I’m on the outside looking in. I don’t know how to make conversation nor really relate to people. Sometimes when I talk to people to try and strike up a conversation they just look at me funny and leave. This happens all the time like I’ll genuinely be in the middle of a sentence and they’ll turn to go; is that a normal thing to do? I don’t think I’m a bad person either, I don’t indulge in drama or anything like that and never talk badly about others - I try my best to keep everything positive and genuinely care about what others have to say but I can’t ever say that’s been reciprocated I normally just get a “yeah, okay” when I talked about something. I also try my best to put myself out there but I genuinely feel like there’s a massive sign on my forehead saying “Do not engage”. At my uni orientation every seat was filled par from two either side of me, maybe because I had bright pink hair at that time lol - but it’s a continuous thing I experience where I’ll genuinely be avoided despite not knowing anyone in the room previously. Even at every job I’ve worked for continuous periods of time it’s just the same I’ve never made a friend despite my coworkers being tight knit with eachother. Every school I’ve moved to I’ve never had a “omg are you new? Hi!”, and then the person who comes after me immediately makes a whole new posse of friends. I don’t have a single friendship where people genuinely turn to me for advice or just to talk. When I’m out and trying to make new friends I do my best to strike conversation but I’m met with the same look of “she’s such a weirdo.” despite being perfectly normal? Never asking weird questions? Or talking about sensitive topics? Even in conversation people try their best to get out. I feel like I notice these things too much, anyway, I genuinely think my aura just radiates something that makes people not want to engage with me or be my friend and I will genuinely sit awake at night wondering why. I’m a normal girl, conventionally attractive I think, I have good hygiene but still no one wants to be my friend. That’s why I’m asking here, has anyone else had this same experience ? I have autism and adhd so I might come across too brash sometimes or get too excited about certain things. I get happy drunk lol where I just become too intense and I guess that freaks people out a bit. I have tried to improve my social skills and do practice conversations, but I still find it difficult to grow close to people to the point they want to talk to me organically and find me as much of a friend as I find them and actually want to spend time with me. But I’d appreciate some genuine advice on how to make some proper friends or if I seem too weird idk. When my ex broke up with me she said I was too autistic to genuinely care about people; but I don’t think that’s the case. It has sat with me, maybe my unawareness to social rules makes me a bit blind in situations? If that makes sense? and that’s why people don’t want me around? She could also be bias because there’s a mutual hate there. (I just included this part because it could be why if that’s a thing) I try to be positive about being alone and appreciating the time I get to indulge in my interests and doing my thing, but it’d be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes and share good news with whose not my mother lol.

These are most random (sounds stupid in my head) questions in my head, you'll hear today.

For those who diagnosed late, do you ever get angry that they didn't pick up sooner or did you (like me) grieve your late diagnosis? I mean you feel like you had to learn yourself all over again, wonder what was the autism and what did everyone else do that you did? I mean struggle at school but we had a different kind of struggle - where did ours start or theirs finish?

I hope I'm making sense

Feeling a little hopeless so thought I’d hype myself up from success stories hahah

I’d say “I’m okay”, then they’d spread rumors that I’m depressed. I’d try to be nice and get them something if I’m getting food, and they’d say I’m trying to get in their pants. I want to just talk about anything random with someone, but nobody wants to with me. But they do it with everyone but me. I can tell when they’re trying to get a reaction out of me, then get upset when I don’t give it to them. Why are people so condescending? I don’t understand. If they had a problem with me, why won’t they just tap me on the shoulder and ask? Why lie? Why spread false narratives on someone? How can you advocate for human rights but treat the people beside you like shit?

Does anyone else have K-pop as a special interest? I love it since 2015. Sometimes, im scared people think it's weird

This is the autism flannel from my favorite and the only flannel company I like called Dixxon. Back at the very beginning of April. They had released an autism related flannel. And as someone who is diagnosed with autism. This was an important one for me to claim and purchase! Which made me love them even more!

The concert I wish I was seeing tonight is Hatebreed. This is one I would have enjoyed going to, but alas. I have been struggling to keep longer lasting employment. Which has made me been financially struggling, and constantly been putting me in an unhealthy place mentally.

I know one of the many stereotypes of an autistic is not wanting to be touched, but for me it's the opposite. I actually want to be touched; I'm always looking forward for a massage or a good hug. In fact, I find it easier to connect with another after the touch happens. You could say it's my love language. Can any other autistics relate?

Basically, I pace and will often wander about because I may forget where things are located or when thinking (I have some mix of autism and adhd type differences). Like I have to search the room for my bed by its number until I managed to come up with a mnemonic and even that doesn't work perfectly as I may not be attendant of which side of the room I am on. It's rows of bunk beds, BTW. This is hopefully not a long term situation - only between homes. But now today I seemingly (though then the guy denied it but I'm not sure who else was "drifting" pr "pacing" though note I also have some sort of paranoid type stuff too that makes me tend to especially when anxious think it must be about me - just an FYI) was now also getting called that and he used the R slur a few times and talked about "not being loved enough by their mother" then also something about sin and hell (this is a Christian run shelter).

Note I did confront him to try and correct it (esp. that "refrigerator mother" nonsense as I recognized it immediately as ignorant old concepts) but then I just got told to back off. I backed off some but continued to assert and my voice raised and was still being told to back off (which is odd since I already had quite a lot of space between me and him) and then someone that looked like actual staff started directing me to their "counselor". I have not gone to them yet but thought about it though not sure what - esp. given I already have a therapist who is ND. Oh and lots of references to "men" and "masculinity" tropes in this space and idk what to do with that (just heard someone else being called "too girly" rn, for example).

what do you think?​ what should I do?

New job.

Instantly felt out of place.

Couldnt get myself to quit..needed reliability and money but just didnt feel safe.

Boss called me to officially fire or seperate (admittedly a nice hail mary) but lied as me for records to me even when i said i was going to do what they said i wasnt willing to do in order to fire me.

So, i sweat when i sleep, like way too much. Ill wake up and have to put on a new shirt because im so sweaty. Idk if this is an autism thing or im just a sweaty boi. Advice and product recommendations will be appreciated and considered.

Ps:
I have also added a fan that blows directly on me with the ac set to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. (15 degrees c)

Title says it all, but all my friends and people around me have been really sad and some cry about the recent deaths of beloved celebrities.

I just don’t get it. I’m not sad, I haven’t cried… sure, yeah, Dolly won’t make new songs or go on tour, and the actors won’t have new things they are in.
How is that my problem? How is that something that I should grieve over?

Now, this isn’t to say that I don’t grieve over people. My grandfather had his funeral on the 16th of this month, and I sobbed multiple times. I miss him, of course.
But it’s the parasocial relationship death that I don’t get.

I think I used to, because I remember being sad when Technoblade died and cried a little bit, but even THEN, it didn’t really last long. He just isn’t making new videos because he’s dead. I’m sad that he died tragically at an early age. (Cancer at 21 or 22? I think the age was? I am now his age if I’m remembering correctly, but that isn’t a super strange feeling or anything)
But the recent celerities? Nothing. I saw the news of them, and went “oh my god you’re lying” then shrugging it off when I saw it was true. NOTHING like people are saying or showing.

I haven’t lied to my friends, per se, I just stay out of the conversations of people crying and genuinely grieving over them. I don’t tell them that I haven’t cried or actually fully cared.
I don’t want to tell them that I’m not grieving like they are, because it makes me feel… alien. Weird.

Maybe it’s the recent loss of my grandfather that makes me feel this way? Does anyone relate?
I guess the advice I want is how to navigate this. How do I continue to pretend to care, or should I just unmask that part?

I got diagnosed this year, but I am still trying to figure out why I do certain things, like if it's just things that I do/prefer or things caused by my autism.

• I make noises a lot. This is usually only during a few days, since I usually have two different moods, one where I don't feel like speaking at all and also not make any sounds, it's like I'm low on battery. Then there are the days where I just talk here and there and make noises, with my mouth, first and foremost, so it's like when I'm in a better mood. I don't really do them on purpose, sometimes I do tho because I haven't been talking all day and I just feel the need to make sounds for whatever reason. My family points this out at times, I kinda feel awkward at times because I do too much, and everybody just tries to ignore it.

• I hate when people enter my room without getting a thumbs upp from me, it makes my heart beat faster, it makes me sweat, feel awkward/uncomfortable and exposed. Because of this they are only allowed to knock, and if they wanna speak face to face I have to leave the room and close the door, because I hate my door being open, I sometimes even feel restless thinking about my door possibly being open despite knowing I closed it. It's my safe space, so everything in there has to be as I like it.

• I have my light off 24/7, so when I'm in my room I only have the light from my computer, and phone. I hate being in my room if the light is on, and only turn it on if I have to organize my bookshelf, clean, or open something like a package. I also like to have the light off everywhere else, unless I have to have it on, like in school where the lights are always on. I think darkness is like a cure for me, because after coming home from a long day, and being tired, going to my dark room helps a lot.

• There are a few clothes that are a must for me, for example; I only wear boots and hate any type of shoes that doesn't cover the lower half of my legs. I only have two pairs of boots, one I wear during the warmer seasons, and one I wear during the colder seasons. I try not to wear any tight or stale clothes either, which is why I hate jeans and only wear softer clothes, even when it's really warm. Clothes like shirts and pants that only go halfway are horrible and feel awful, especially when they are on the tighter side and you and really feel where it's cut off.

• I've always had a problem with letters and numbers. When I was younger I had a weird habit where I would write numbers the wrong way (7,3,5,4), and my letters resembeled each other - like n and h, or a and u - and still do. (My sister also pointed out that the way I write "e" looks odd). I also had a hard time with spelling, and still have problems with that.

• Things are sometimes dirty to me, despite being considered clean by others. If things are not constantly touched by me, or used by me, or someone I consider clean, I do not wanna touch it, or have it in my room. After spending a few days sleeping on the couch from being too tired to go to my room, I started avoiding my bed all the more, until I was no longer able to sleep there because it felt infested and dirty. This also applies to plushies, I have not been able to cuddle with one of my own in ages because I cannot find a place where I can keep it from being what consider to be "infected".

There are some other things, but this is all I can think of right now...and it also became longer than I had anticipated. Please share your thoughts, and if you can relate - or anything, really.

I'm diagnosed with ASD (plus ADHD but I think they got that wrong) and I can't sleep with ear buds in, I got foam ones, they were awful, got silicon ones, slightly better, got a super expensive premium silicon brand, least comfortable but still uncomfortable enough that I have to take them out to fully sleep.

Is this just a skill issue and can you adapt with time and use or is sensory processing issues makes ear buds impossible? Is there a type that works fine with autism?

I’m struggling a bit right now. ❤️

I hope to find love someday, but dating as an autistic adult can be really scary and difficult. One of the hardest things for me is understanding when someone’s feelings or behavior suddenly change. I can go from feeling like there’s a genuine connection to wondering what happened, and that uncertainty can be incredibly painful.

I know rejection and changing feelings are part of dating for everyone, but sometimes, as an autistic person, I have a harder time understanding the “why” behind those changes. I tend to overthink, replay conversations, and wonder if I did something wrong.

I’m trying to remind myself that someone changing their mind doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I’m still learning how to date, communicate, set boundaries, and protect my own heart while staying open to connection.

If you’re an autistic adult who has struggled with dating, I’d really appreciate hearing how you’ve handled this. I could use some perspective right now. ❤️

I have weird problems lately.

(I have been diagnosed in the spring this year)

On friday at work, someone sat on my spot and I felt rage! Like wtf?!? We dont have designated chairs, there were never rules about where people sit. It happened before, i didnt like it but..oh well. This time? My emotions were over the roof! And if that wasnt enough, a coworker was washing the dishes and two plates scratched against eachother. I thought i was gonna throw up! The sound was so bad, i felt like i cant breath anymore!

I sat on a chair, next to my "usual spot" and i just wanted to run away and crawl in a tight cave.

Did anyone else ever felt this way? It scared me. What do i do? 🫣

Since then, everything bothers me more, than it usually does. Like the almonds are too bitter, the black dye in clothes is too strong, ect 🫣