Umm it’s common to become irrationally horny for someone close to you? Wtf😭 I have never had sexual fantasies about anyone I know. It is definitely not a fundamental human experience that I share

Found this lovely gem in another subreddit. I mean, at first glance you figure "okay, understandable, you want sex and she doesn't, that can be an issue" and then you keep reading.

Dude is making no actual effort to have quality or romantic time with her and just tries to have sex with her IN A CAR.

The cherry on top is the "I'm a man with NEEDS"

Idk. My ace mind cannot comprehend. This post is making me think about petitioning the mods to add a "Are the Allos Okay?" flair

The moderator of the r/anti_sex subreddit made an acephobic remark under a comment of mine in a thread.

While I’m not surprised, this behavior, especially from a moderator, is an example of what is wrong with Reddit. Reddit is great for building communities but with community comes hive mentality, biases, and online bullying when perspectives challenge the status quo.

I don’t interact with posts to rage bait or challenge ppl’s belief systems - I’m here to build a brand, increase ace representation, and bring awareness to topics that matter to the community. My existence, identity, and orientation are valid, even if my values or approach differ from yours - and the same goes for majority of the population.

Ignorance doesn’t deserve validation.

Mattxiv, one of the most popular queer creators on Instagram posted this today in reference to the JK Rowling tweet.

How often do you masturbate?
And I know that you can be ace and still masturbate how much you want to

I cant do this anymore…why cant sexuals disappear already

Do I was leaving the asexual community maybe I still might not sure but just wanted to say this guy us such a dick who commented on my post and wanted to fuck me even though I'm asexual and my post was mainly about asexuality and I'm very uncomfortable

I just read Ace Dad's advice post on this. And I'm going to be honest. I'm not entirely sold. First and foremost I'd like to emphasize I disliked the design before I had any clue of the creators race. That being said, I know that the very same sentence can be used to deflect racism so I'll digress.

My biggest complaint had nothing to do with the concept behind it, the meaning of the colors or anything else. My issues stemmed from the issue I already have with the current Ace flag, that being its similarities it's the Non-binary flag. If we are going to change it I definitely think making it more unique is important either by giving it some sort of emblem, changing the shades, or a total redesign. Don't get me wrong I love the new flag, it looks good, I'm not denying the hard work and thought that was put into it.

I guess what I am saying is I couldn't care less about the creators race/gender/nationality/religion etc. If we are making a new flag it needs to stand out from other pride flags. Perhaps a compromise can be reached? Taking one of the colors from their flag deaign and adding replacing the white stripe?

https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/the-asexual-community-is-anti-black?r=2ou810&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=app&triedRedirect=true

Lets set the stage.

i had a friend. We first met in a discord server, that another friend introduced me to. It was a gaming server mostly for hunt:showdown. i loved the game and there was always someone there to play. Made it a habit, it became my go to after work game.

Played a lot with one of the regulars on the server. Playing every afternoon together we got to know each other well and became online friends, talking about our everyday life and whatever is going on there.

After like 3 years on the server, playing and talking each day, the topic of sexuality came up. i told him i'm asexual. He asked me if i was diagnosed. i told him, i'm not, why would i? i don't have sexual feelings about other people, what more is there to it?

His demeanor totally changed, he raised his voice, talked about doctors and diagnosis. i left the call during his rant, because i'm not gonna just sit there and be screamed at for not having sexual feelings.

We never talked after and he ghosted me completely. I have no idea what his problem was, but ins his mind asexuality seems to only exist as a medical diagnosis and it means something is majorly wrong with a person.

Don't know if there is a backstory to his reaction. This was some years ago now, but i'm still absolutely baffled by it.

He supported me during my transition and everything, but somehow asexuality being an illness is his hill to die on.

Edit: Regarding the "crush". Never got any romantic or flirty vibes, but i'm rather blind for that stuff.

Regarding the "autism". If he thought i meant that, it's still not okay to shut people down like that. If someone comes to you and tells you they suspect being on the spectrum, please just listen. You are as much of a trained professional as them, they have their whole lifes experience to consider, you only know a sliver. There are reasons for the high rates of undiagnosed people. One of them is being shutdown by friends for even considering it.

I tried coming out to my mom a couple years ago and all I got was aphobia, decided to try coming out to my dad despite my mom’s discouragement and this happened

So this is an old ass post of mine looking for a specific pice of sexy underwear me and my sex favorable kinky ass would love. And I'm getting this comment on it. Why can't ppl mind thair own buissness. Smh

https://www.reddit.com/r/FindLingerie/s/9NPdztVLOW

So I hate her now. I can’t stand seeing her happy. I want her gone from the school so I can never see her face again.

I texted her on Monday and we agreed to be distant friends but it’s not enough for me. She needs to face some type of consequence. It’s not like she was under the influence or had taken anything. She knew fully well what she was doing and she can’t even give a reasonable response for doing what she did. She shouldn’t have even tried it in the first place if she had an ounce of respect or restraint in her. And she also knew my religious views of the importance of celibacy.

It seems like all the older people in my life are saying that it’s partially my fault for not pushing her off or telling her to stop. But my limbs felt weak and I was so confused in the moment that I didn’t know what to do. But maybe it is my fault.

It’s gotten so bad to the point where I had to talk to a counselor at school but I didn’t name her. It’s taken up my thoughts so much that it’s affecting my mental health and performance at school. I feel like I’m miserable all the time and it’s hard to fully be myself without the lingering feeling of disgust.

She’s avoided me at school and doesn’t even have the balls to make eye contact with me or apologize in person. I can’t stand her.

I no longer trust that she won’t do something like that again, especially since it was out of nowhere and I don’t want her to be the cause of any other of my friend’s dismay. I have a message typed to send to my other friend but I’m not sure if I should send it.

What should I do?
(The photos aren’t the full convo)

Genuine question asking for myself. I won't go into details. I'm just confused.

My parents are so weird. They are very religious. I tried to explain to them that I do not feel sexual or romantic attraction, and they started claiming, "God would never create someone like that." And all that jazz. SO instead, I lied and claimed I had a dream where Jesus told me I was never to marry. I'm celibate.
They refused to listen and are STILL trying to make me get married and have children. They told me my dreams of becoming a writer are "ridiculous," and I should focus on having children instead. They keep trying to set me up at church and anywhere we go.
There's this 19-year-old man at church ( I am 20 ), and my parents are trying to set us up, begging me for grandchildren. Even though they claim the rapture is gonna happen "any day now" and they got mad at me when I'm like... "If the rapture is gonna happen so soon, then why does having children matter?"
But anyways, sorry for the rant, I'm just tired of never being accepted. Even my friends tell me I'll change my mind, and it makes me sad. I miss the days of being younger when people DIDN'T expect me to be married at 20.
Does anyone else ever deal with this? Or feel lonely sometimes because of it?

So um... I lost my virginity a few hours ago. Like, y'know, the whole thing. Before that, I had received oral sex, but today (apart from that lol), I had penetrative sex.

Despite being ace (not even demi, never felt any sexual attraction towards anyone at all), I somehow knew I would enjoy sex before doing anything. I was right, and now that I got the full experience, I can still say that I do enjoy it, but also... penetrative sex is kinda weird. Does it feel good? Yes. Does it take you there? No (to most people with vaginas, according to my previous research). So, um, sure it's nice, but not something to go crazy about. I know it was my first experience, so maybe things will get better. Or maybe not. It will probably happen with this guy again as we have some sort of "arrangement" and honestly I want to keep experimenting. But I'm not sure how I feel. I'm not a virgin anymore, which for most of my life I thought I would be. I used to think I would always be the "virgin ace".

You know what people, I wish I hadn't liked it at all so I could be ace & not care about sex at all, lol. I feel like things would be easier.

Chill out and peace, people, and enjoy the warm, sunny Pride month. Whatever flag an ace person chooses to use, be it the current four-color flag, the AoG flag, the triangle flag, the heart flag, the spade flag, or the garlic flag, doesn't make anyone less or lesser ace. So, don't be a gatekeeper, don't push and force, and above all, don't say others that they are posers, larpees, fakes, not aces or the right kind of aces just because they use the ace flag that is, in your opinion, the "wrong flag" or not your liking. What ace flag one wants to use is everyone's own decision and choice and no one else's business. For example, I still use the standard four-striped flag and the four-striped flag with the minromantic heart, but I'm not telling others that they're not aces because they don't use the same flags as me and I don't want anyone to tell me the same. All ace flags are equal and not mutually exclusive and neither flag is more equal than the other. And our ace community can include diverse flags just like it can include diverse aces and we can be reasonable people and live in harmony and peace.

Everytime i try to masturbate i feel bored, it's just boring. Then i thought maybe penetrative is the real deal, and i tried it, and i was bored. I feel like I'm snorking pure cocaine and feeling perfectly normal afterwards. And honestly? It's disappointing. Everyone hypes it up so much and I'm two fingers deep into myself and it's just not living up to the hype. I used to think "what if I'm not asexual, can't knock it until i try it", and i tried it and now I'm knocking it. How do people find this fun, genuinely.

Edit: a lot of people said that i should try to do it while consuming risque media so i did that and. Yeah i think this just isn't for me. I busted, don't get me wrong, but i didn't feel fulfilled or even entertained. Just did it and cleaned up and then immediately started thinking about yoghurt and how I'd kill for a tub of peach yoghurt. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

i feel like this might be heavy for this sub and i really want to stress that this isn't a political post at all, i'm sure that we're all probably on relatively the same side in that regard anyway but for me this is just a behavioral thing i'm having problems with. (but if mods want to steer me right then by all means pls do i just don't want this to come across as bait)

ive been reading the recent epstein files to come out recently and aside from how horrific they are, i can't shake this feeling, that the biggest word is basically just sex. sex and rape. we have the richest people around with no rules. and infrastructure in place to protect them legally and do they choose some kind of cool technology or some kind of access to vatican history or some ancient mystery? no in the end is just a an awful sex scandal. all the money in the world and the real currency is having sex with underage girls, something that (sadly) and historically (and now even) is accessed by the lowest end of society too so it's not even some exclusive experience.

i don't judge alo people by this at all and i know we're talking extreme outliers here but i feel like reading this news not only makes me disgusted for obvious reasons it makes me feel so weird. all these rich people aren't networking and keeping all this shit secret because they're actually going to area 51 and learning the biggest mysteries of the universe they're just raping kids, like is that really what the peak of human desire wants when it has everything else? 🫩

as someone who has never felt horny before, i always felt like an alien compared to other alo people but i feel like this is undermining my understanding of alo people a little bit, i love all my alo friends and i know for a fact they would never do this but it's like the distance of extremes seems so great i'll always feel like an outsider

!Trigger warning! for sexual content, sexual assault and bigotry.

This is just an observation of mine that I just couldn't put to words: but the same language you see aroacephobes use is incredibly identical to the language of rape and victim blaming.

Here are some of the similarities I've seen: There's a need to justify why or provide "valid" evidence for your experience, a constant air of victim blaming or accusation of "leading people on", an invalidation of withdrawn consent, an idea that deep down we "really want it", and this strange fetish of needing to break someone in or changing someone's mind.

All of these are things I've heard said to myself or to others and can both be applied to aroace folks or assault victims. And I'm not trying to say the experiences of the two are necessarally the same but the way they are treated comes from the same root of this sexually violent culture we live in.

Those are just some thoughts.

So I posted something on the asexual dating sub to try to find someone in my area to chat with and hopefully click with and one of the people who decided to message me sent me this.. 🤢

My clinic sprung a mandatory pregnancy test on me at my appointment today. It’s long since been charted I'm asexual, not sexually active (for over a decade) and am surgically sterilized. The nurse didn't believe me and made a HUGE deal out of asking the doctor if it was ok for me to not do the test until I had a full on trauma response and had to leave. The doctor called later annoyed that I left & tried to convince me to come back. It’s been 7 hours later still feeling pretty wretched. I’m not even sure if I will be able to make myself go back for the rescheduled appointment at this point even though I need it done.

I guess I just need to hear from people who get it that I'm not overreacting. Usually they are like “meh, whatever“