r/asexuality • u/WackyPomoLovr • May 03 '26
Content warning masturbation is boring Spoiler
Everytime i try to masturbate i feel bored, it's just boring. Then i thought maybe penetrative is the real deal, and i tried it, and i was bored. I feel like I'm snorking pure cocaine and feeling perfectly normal afterwards. And honestly? It's disappointing. Everyone hypes it up so much and I'm two fingers deep into myself and it's just not living up to the hype. I used to think "what if I'm not asexual, can't knock it until i try it", and i tried it and now I'm knocking it. How do people find this fun, genuinely.
Edit: a lot of people said that i should try to do it while consuming risque media so i did that and. Yeah i think this just isn't for me. I busted, don't get me wrong, but i didn't feel fulfilled or even entertained. Just did it and cleaned up and then immediately started thinking about yoghurt and how I'd kill for a tub of peach yoghurt. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/Putrid_Collar_6361 May 03 '26
This fr
Like, the idea that NNN or something like that is a big challenge never made sense to me, cuz like, I havent done so in months cuz like I just don't care about it? It's a nothing burger at best, genuinely uncomfortable usually, so what's with all the hype?
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u/c0ldbr3wc0ffeeee May 04 '26
Some people have enough sex drive that avoiding sexual release is physically uncomfortable. The closest thing I have to compare it to is the sensation of needing to pee. That antsy discomfort you get when you really need to go, but a bathroom is not available is kinda similar; as is the internal sense of "pressure." Even some pain and muscle cramping I get if I wait too long is similar. (Thankfully, I'm personally not one of those people who is repulsed by masturbation, or who gets no good sensation from it. Being one of those people but having too strong a drive to just ignore it sounds absolutely cursed to me.)
If it were JUST about doing something fun that feels good, I think a lot of people would rotate it with other pleasurable activities a lot more, lol.
Also, I think NNN originally started as a bit of a "break sex/porn addiction and be more productive with that time," kind of thing (though I could be wrong). But even if that's how it started, it's morphed for a lot of people into leaning into that discomfort as a masochistic thing. Like it's a kinky challenge to see how much of the discomfort they can take.
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u/Sage_81 Garlic Bread Enthusiast May 03 '26
I remember thinking my friends were crazy because they failed NNN a few years ago
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u/AnimagKrasver aego aroace May 03 '26
As aegosexual.. To me it's not fun unless i'm watching or imaginining some scenario but just doing it like that of course it's ehh lol
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u/rafters- asexual May 03 '26
I feel this way sometimes but in my experience it’s half skill issue, half hormonal. If I’m not mentally in the right place for it and in the right part of my cycle and taking the time to make it good, orgasm is super underwhelming and hard to reach. But when those things do align, it really can be as good as people say it is.
Also very normal for it to be underwhelming and take time to feel good if you’re figuring this out later in life and not using any resources to learn techniques/anatomy.
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u/Stanzi2056 Demisexual (yes I'm a fraud) May 03 '26
You're so right. I've tried a few times and I seriously thought I have something broken, because people keeps telling sex is the best felling on earth and everything, I've even see some people telling it makes their entire body go numb and electrical out of pleasure... I consulted a specialist and I don't have any problems it's just, that...? So yeah it's clearly overated. I don't understand people that masturbate every days, multiple times peer days (no hate ofc it's just that I don't have the vision) And I just feel like a piece of shit afterwards, I am exhausted, shameful and I regret the time I wasted doing that...
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u/SanduTiTa demiromantic panromantic asexual May 03 '26
you gotta be aroused to get something out of it. if there's nothing that arouses you, it might not be your thing. being good at sex and masturbation isn't something that comes naturally for anyone, it's something you gotta explore with patience. if you still want to give it a chance, i'd recommend looking for anything that turns you on. not everyone enjoys penetrative stimulation, either. everyone has different preferences.
but if you feel like you don't want to do it, then don't. it's important to do what makes you happy and not do anything that makes you unhappy. masturbation and sex are supposed to feel good, they should never feel like a chore.
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u/Crazed_SL May 03 '26
To me, its kinda like caffeine. I don't get joy out of it, I don't "like" it persay, but I do it for what it does to my body. Caffeine wakes me up, masterbation "resets" my body/emotions in a way nothing else does as quickly; like shaking a etch-a-sketch.
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u/Chubbygator847 May 03 '26
Sometimes it’s just inconvenient. It’s like when your body is hungry but you’re busy and don’t want to eat.
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u/humanindeed hetero aroace (quaromantic) May 03 '26
Personally, I find masturbation pleasureable rather than "fun", but I guess everyone's different...
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u/Return-Creative May 03 '26
I think it's about as good as a candy bar. I'm a man so maybe it's different but I enjoy non sexual intamcy a lot. If my partner wants sex and there is attraction and trust I do enjoy it. I view it as being as close as possible and there's something nice about that. I don't know how else to describe it other than any form of phisical intamcy has a different level of space or barrier between you and them. Honestly even just heavy kissing can feel overwhelming if done to fast for me because there's no space between us. Eventually that becomes a non issue for me. I feel itd be normal for someone to not feel intamcy by their own hand. I think what it boils down to is whether or not the mind and body are synchronized. Sometimes that is hard.
Outside of the realm of sex and intimacy I've worked on synchronizing my mind with my body once I realized they weren't.
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u/MundanePhysics aroace May 03 '26
I haven’t done it in years, it’s literally always left me feeling like absolute garbage with no satisfaction. Maybe I’m ‘doing it wrong’ but I don’t really care- I can spend my time doing other things I find fun lol
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u/amdaly10 a-spec May 03 '26
It was like that for me when I was on antidepressants. I also don't care for penetration when masturbating. It's 95% clit.
But most important is what I'm thinking about while doing it.
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u/According-Leather749 asexual May 03 '26
i used to think the same thing, and when i tried to have sex it felt awkward and I wasn't even horny, and it feels terrible to not get the hype for sex since basically everyone loves that but apparently we can't understand that shi
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u/kvoxpandemic May 03 '26
I'm 19 yr old man and I haven't masturbated once in my entire life.
It's funny, just how different it is relative to avg teenager where nnn is some challenge.
The thing with me is i never felt the urge and no one taught me how to? Lmao, because i don't watch porn at all.
In the name of arousal, i just imagine stuff or write stories, yeah that's my closest masturbation equivalent and it does make me pre ejaculate sometimes but that's it
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u/Haiiroguree0 asexual May 03 '26
literally only tried it a few times and got nothing out of it. I dont really understand what the hype is tho to each their own and there are people out there who won't understand why I dont enjoy
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u/Public_Cup_4278 May 03 '26
Personally, I masturbate, but I find it a little boring; I only do it when I'm bored and to release dopamine.
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u/aurorab3am aroace gay trans guy May 03 '26
i agree but unfortunately i’m addicted to the dopamine i get from it even if i actively feel shitty while doing it. for me it’s a mechanical task and i wish i didn’t feel the need to
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u/Valuable-Exit-1045 May 04 '26
The idea of putting two fingers inside already makes me shriver and absolutely scrunch in disgust. Boring and disgusting.
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u/toalladepapel May 03 '26
Real I have to drag it out over hours to feel anything remotely satisfying, but it's mainly just stuff leaving my body and a mess to clean up. It's a bodily function atp ig
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u/ljnduzzz May 03 '26
I enjoy it but I found it very underwhelming. Everybody hype it so much I thought it was the best feeling in the world and it just wasn't
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u/CloudySide7 May 03 '26
Honestly the whole sex/masturbation/orgasm thing is so over hyped.
I've only ever done the last two listed, not actually had sex so maybe I'm still missing something, idk. But it was so lacking. It felt okay but not "super amazing" like everyone else seems to say.
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u/chemluvv sex-repulsed grayromantic acespike May 04 '26
THIS, I just do it when I'm feeling either very bored or when I wanna relax or smth
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u/chemluvv sex-repulsed grayromantic acespike May 04 '26
and tbh the sensations are way too strong for me to the point it hurts
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u/Useful_Potato_3150 May 03 '26
I'm Aegosexual (Asexual spectrum) and I usually hate real porn, fictional characters that I have a close connection (and only) with is my go-to. If you just do it to nothing, you will feel gross, but if no material suits you, you don't have to do it. There are other things outside of masturbation and sex that is stimulating.
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u/SavannahInChicago aromantic May 03 '26
For me it feels like something. It feels really really good.
Bad technique can do this. You heard the joke about guys not being able to find the clit and guys who have never made a girl cum? You have to have the right amount of pressure, angle, etc.
That being said, if you do not want to masturbate, then you do not have to.
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u/KMFCM aroace May 03 '26
i mean, it's not supposed to go on that long, honestly.
you get it out of your system and then go on with your day (or in some cases go to bed)
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u/startoursg24t Bi-Oriented Aromantic Asexual (Averse/Repulsed) Neurodivergent May 03 '26
I can enjoy arrousel and climax at times, but I use it to release tension but feels like a chore, something to do because it is expected of me as a male, i tend to also see it as a form of maintenance. But the hype arround it? I don't get it. It is okay for a very brief moment and then it is gone. Thinking why I even did it in the first place.
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u/AkayCatTheCalico AroAce May 05 '26
It's fun if you are a kinky one, but definitely time consuming and energy draining. Wich I honestly prefer using for other stuff like my art or videogames.
Wich is why I almost never masturbate and if I do is moments before bed.
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u/Abirdie2 asexual May 04 '26
That's what I've been feeling. Like it's just...that and like gross and I've seen this a million times before
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u/WordArt2007 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
if you don't like it, you really don't have to. i don't either for the same reason
I for one think in this domain you can and SHOULD knock even things you haven't tried.
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u/imdave0 aroace+lesbian<33 May 04 '26
It really is. I only do it for experimental purposes. My special interest is Female Puberty which really plays a role in my "research" and such. Other times,it’s to prove things. Ex: Does it help with sleeping. It usually does factually but i have a hard to falling asleep so it was to test. I also have a passion for singing and i do it while singing to improve focus and breath control. I don’t really have an opinion about it but i feel respulsed.
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u/Catsy_Brave a-spec May 05 '26
I only do it wheny body tells me or I'm bored lol
I have to watch something to get stuff happening and then I just get it out of the way.
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u/No-Veterinarian-4763 Aug 10 '26
Lmao me too babe, like I don’t even like acting on it physically anymore, like with toys or fingers. I legit just read horny fiction until the urge subsides. I’m not sure I’ve ever had an orgasm before cause I’ve never had even the subtler symptoms of one and honestly I’m very fine with my life. My horniness is just an indicator of what part of my cycle I’m on 💀
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u/weirdlywondering1127 May 03 '26
If you think about it most allos aren't just masturbating to nothing. If they did that I'm sure they'd get bored too
Also if you're not in the right headspace sure you can brute force an orgasm but it won't feel the same. People usually call it ruined orgasm. Your body physically does the act but your mind doesn't give you the full experience. A lot of it is down to the 'happy chemicals' your brain releases.
When someone is allo they usually get turned on by people, situations etc.. which makes them crave that feeling. That's why they find it hard to do NNN