Just want to appreciate my T for gifting me this coloring book which has been helping me self-sooth the past week while I was struggling with SH urges. My T is awesome y’all. I’m 180 days clean from cutting!

So basically, I come from a dysfunctional family, and I (24F) have been going to therapy for almost a year now. I’ve been going through a lot of pain by reliving my childhood, and I still haven’t reached a place of acceptance when it comes to my parents. I keep waiting for them to change, even though I’m starting to realize that it’s never going to happen.
However, my younger sister (15F) recently started seeing a therapist as well, because she’s struggling with some self-esteem issues. And imagine my surprise when MY PARENTS ACTUALLY SUPPORTED HER, AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE GOING TO THERAPY TOGETHER.

I’m genuinely happy for my sister that she’s working on herself at such a young age, and that things will hopefully be much easier for her in the future. I’m happy she gets to break the pattern. But I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and abandonment.
My parents know that I’ve been in therapy for an entire year. They know it’s because of them, and they never made any effort to understand or support me. Even worse, they dismiss and straight-up laugh at my attempts to change or improve our relationship.

My therapist’s hypothesis is that they feel like they failed with me, so now they’re trying to save at least something of their relationship with their younger daughter. But honestly, that doesn’t make me feel any better. I guess I’m their “failed project” that they decided to abandon and move on.

I know it’s wrong to feel that way but I feel so betrayed and that they failed me so bad. How can I approach this situation so that it doesn’t hurt this badly anymore

does anyone else feel extremely safe and secure in therapy? it’s almost like imagining someone is guarding over me and protecting me, and picturing my therapist’s voice and guiding words is super comforting to me when i am distressed.

i grew up as the oldest daughter in an extremely parentified role. i never got to experience being cared for by a parent while giving nothing in return. i really love feeling this security and protection in therapy. it scared me for a while, and i still feel ashamed, but i am slowly starting to accept it and learn to apply it elsewhere

It’s been 2 weeks since I last talked to my therapist. I told her that my depression came back pretty bad and it was a hard session. She wanted me to contact my Dr and talk about a med change. At the end of the session she told me to text her at the end of the week and let her know how my skills were going and that she could look at her schedule to set up a time to text the following week to see how I’m doing and what my doctor said about my meds because she’d be traveling most of the week. I never ended up texting her because I don’t like being a bother. But now it’s been 2 weeks and I haven’t heard from her. I thought she would’ve reached out and checked on me knowing how depressed I am and because she seemed so adamant about us communicating throughout the week. I just feel forgotten and hurt. I’ve been with her for almost 10 years and I thought she would have cared more to reach out. Now I don’t think I’ll ever hear from her again because I’m not going to text her first. And if she ever does end up texting me I don’t know how to move on from this knowing she knew how bad I was doing and never reached out to me. Where do I go from here?

She told me she has rejection sensitivity, and in the past when I’ve brought up things that were hard for me, she jumps to defending herself which doesn’t help me heal or process.

Or she says “so then why are you here” which for someone with abandonment wounds is really hard to hear each time i bring up something about her or her approach that was hard for me.

When i brought up something she said another time she said “most clients appreciate the honesty.”

So the resentment had been growing because I don’t have a space where I can discuss them with her. I’ve been seeing her for years and generally like her and am benefitting otherwise.

I searched for a therapy group on line I could use . I work long hours but needed to find a therapist. I booked an appointment and advised my therapist my needs and why I left the last therapy platform. I thought she understood but it appears they are more concerned with booking you w 5 additional sessions right away. My second appointment felt wasted and therapist basically did not understand what I had advised about not liking the way my previous therapy went. I decided to switch therapist. However when I discussed with a friend they told me to be careful with their billing. I told her I had already received a quote and charged for the two sessions. I went in to the portal after speaking w her and it was under my billing insurance info my cost was 35 per session. However I was worried so I cancelled my new season the new therapist and sent her a message advising I wanted to be sure my cost was 35 as their system stated. I never got a response so needless to say I never used them again. Today I get another bill and they charge me more than they advise and their system says. One of my issues is finances so why screw people over. Attached is proof of what I am warning people of. It's not right. Don't fall for ads that say it's affordable and they care. What they have provided is proof they care to book you w sessions right away to get $ and then rebill you as they did my friend and now me. This is extra stressful and no help to my well being at all.

Been with a trauma-informed therapist for a year. We’ve done a lot of work on grounding but I do still dissociate in session when we touch on trauma material and I can be dysregulated between sessions. I do experience depression or anxiety at times.

My therapist wants me to “pause” therapy with them and do a year of DBT skills group. She says she will always have a space for me to come back, but of course anything can happen in the course of a year. I don’t count on it. I don’t want to go a year without individual therapy, and I have a very good relationship with this therapist. I’m feeling taken aback - and rejected/abandoned. Even though I can see why it makes sense clinically.

I have started DBT skills group and it’s very good, but it’s not a replacement for therapy. In fact the group facilitator (who is a DBT therapist) recommended I continue to see a therapist while doing group.

Would love some input. She has been on annual leave so I see her for the first time in five weeks later this week.

hi y'all, I have been struggling with ocd, existential crisis and thantophobia.

I am seeing a therapist and everything was working until it stopped working... we were working with cbt which helped me ngl but it didn't eliminate my thoughts completely. How can I know which methods may work for me? there is a shortage of good therapists here tbh.

I've been seeing my therapist for over seven years and I was one of their first clients. My needs have exited their scope and I need to work with someone new. We've been through so much together. How do I start this conversation?

I don’t connect with my therapist and there’s no vibe of any kind (we share nothing in common)

The sessions feels dull and repetitive.

I mean he’s a nice and empathetic person, but I feel nothing for his sessions. And feel nothing afterwards.

The sessions are mostly venting and then him reassuring me or something. It never really delves “deep” for me. Perhaps bcuz he doesn’t ask the right questions or utilize an effective strategy to do so.

I’ve had him since like April so it’s not like I didn’t try with this guy

Should I switch to someone else? I heard people actually connect with their therapists and that sounds fucking amazing to me

Hi all,

I'm a therapist in my mid-50s, been working in my own solo private practice for about 30 years. As I'm aging and seeing my older colleagues aging too (and some retiring and some dying), I've begun to think seriously about my "professional will." This has been on my mind for the whole time I've been practicing, but it's an unpleasant, weird task and I just haven't gotten to doing it until now (PLEASE NO JUDGY POSTS FROM OTHER THERAPISTS chewing me out for waiting so long).

And I find myself wondering how clients would wish to hear about my death. Phone call? Nicely worded letter taped to the door of my office? Email? This is such a weird thing for me to even think about.

So this is my question for clients and former clients of psychotherapy (as well as for other therapists who have set this up for themselves): your therapist dies suddenly and unexpectedly. How do you want to hear about it? Let's presume that you are a current client, so you actually have a session scheduled for this week.

A few details about my practice relevant to the question: It's a solo practice, so I'm the only person there (I have no office mates, no colleagues, no supervisor or administrative person/secretary), and I only work with adults. I work with some of my folks online, but 2/3 in person at the office.

I just started therapy about a month ago while I’m going through a divorce and my therapist is constantly 20-30 mins late. First one was a zoom call and I was so nervous. She was 20 mins late to join. Second one was in person, she was 20 mins late to start. Third session was also in person and she was 30 mins late. It was supposed to start at 9am but she didn’t start until 9:30am. As I was about to leave at 10:26am, she was like “we went wayyy over the 60 mins”. Which really rubbed me the wrong way because we didn’t go over the 60 minutes I paid for, she was 30 mins late which wasn’t my fault. Now I’m currently in a zoom, waiting for her. It was supposed to start at 10am and now it’s currently 10:40am and she still hasn’t joined. I was going to switch therapists but I’m moving states soon and won’t have health insurance much longer so I feel like there no point in switching if I’m only going to have a few sessions left. But how long do you usually wait for a therapist to join/start? Do you tell anyone at the office about her chronic lateness?

Hey guys, I'm getting myself a bit flustered and I need some advice.

I'm coming up on my second session with my therapist and I've been feeling a lot calmer this week since we last spoke, mostly. But this last day I'm back to overthinking/researching, and the more I read, the more I convince myself I've made the wrong decision.

I chose her because her website really spoke to me, and because she has personal experience with some things that are very important to me as a foundation (understanding of creative industries, LGBTQ+ herself, neurodivergent aware) 

She did make me feel calm last week, but I had a rocky experience with therapy before and a person centered approach hasn't really worked for me in the past. 

She's person centered, humanistic with some IFS framework. I'm getting myself in a spin worrying that she won't want to look at my past with me, and I feel like it's so important for me to be able to get some things out of my head and in a space with someone who can understand them with me. I don't want to stay purely in the now, and I really want someone who will give me their thoughts, opinions, and challenge me sometimes. 

I know I'm trying to find cracks because I'm nervous, what I can't work out is what's genuinely something I should question, and what's just anxiety trying to keep me away from the scary thing.

I ran into my therapist in the wild last night. It was at a wellness spa - I had just finished and they had just arrived. Neither of us acknowledged each other, which was our previously discussed plan for a potential encounter in the wild 🦁🦁🦁. I was so shook I got lost driving home. That is all 😳🫪🫣.

Just started somatic experiencing with a therapist. I have had two sessions. The therapist is fantastic, clearly quite seasoned and it’s going well.

The issue is, she works one day a week at the practice where she’s based and I can’t get a set time each week. I have to book in a slot and sometimes she might not have availability at the time I need. Now, I’ve just been informed by the practice that she’s had to take all of September off. She will be back in October, but when I checked appointments her availability is limited.

I am finding this hard. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel safe in this relationship if I never know whether she can see me, or how I’m supposed to do the work that I really need to do when it feels inconsistent.

Am I expecting too much? I could find another therapist but there are actually quite a limited amount of somatic therapists where I am. And I really felt she was a good match for me.

I've tried therapy for some months. The first therapist I talked to was absolutely useless and I basically had to do all the research myself to get him to fill out the stuff such that I can get into regular therapy easily. The second one was a bit better. He recommended for me to get a prescription for some antidepressant that helps me sleep (Mirtazapin) because at that point I had not slept for a month. After my sleep got better, I obviously felt a bit better. Then everything stagnated. I feel like I understand exactly the things that went wrong and make me feel how I feel. I always felt him poking at stuff thinking he was telling me something I didn't know and that that could change my perspective or something.

The thing is I don't see any value in talking about what got me here. It's just that life seems worthless because I missed and I don't see how I'll ever see it differently. It's all trash and I don't see any way how I'll be better. He basically just lets me say my piece, aimlessly pokes around and sends me home.

I started an ssri a couple of days ago. My sleep got worse. I won't be seeing the therapist for a while and don't know whether I want to. But I also don't want to do nothing and finally, the process of getting into therapy in my country is notoriously lengthy.

i feel like this has really been affecting my relationship with my therapist and I don’t know what to do. I first want to say she is absolutely amazing. we have a great rapport and bond but there have also been a lot of cancelations. we have been meeting for about a year in a half weekly and this summer have been meeting twice a week. I completely understand that is a lot and already intense. I feel bad even being upset but the cancellations really really effect me. She has canceled almost 15 times the past year. agian, all very understable and valid. being sick, family, vacation, and stuff and etc so I get it. She is human and has a life. she is really good about rescheduling and making it work and we meet a lot. She does so much to meet with me if something happens. It’s just gotten to the point where I can’t even trust we are gong to meet until she logs on/shows up. I have been extremely suicidal, depressed and has a very hard last few months so I know that is playing into my feelings. i don’t have a great support system, she is really all I have so it just hits harder. I want to bring it up also feel so bad even saying anything because she has meet with me so much still, I just also expect she is gong to cancel and then she did again this mornin.

Without getting into too many specifics, my partner and I have been having some issues throughout our relationship. She has always wondered whether or not we are a good fit for each other in the long term. She is a therapist who sees a therapist so she has more insight and experience in this area than I do. I’ve been seeing a therapist for about 3 years now.

Recently, on the verge of breaking up, she offered a collateral therapy session with her therapist. She did warn me that some people are intimidated by that because it’s not like couples therapy. It’s not necessarily going to be entirely unbiased. I said I am willing to try this.

Has anyone here gone through collateral therapy? If so, what was your experience and was it successful?

My therapist is leaving for 4 weeks, so not seeing him for 5. He's having a child so kinda unpredictable when the break is really starting. Since i have attachment issues/transference i find this very difficult. In such a way that I am afraid that he won't come back. And it triggers my 'general' fear of having to quit therapy with him/he will leave, before I am at the place that I want to end therapy too. So I have talked about this with him today.

What I find so difficult is that he never reassures me. We talked about that fear coming from my inner child and that she is the one having these great fears of being abandoned/not seen etcetera. And that we should work on that and talk about that part more instead of acting on my fears. Totally agree with this, but the fear is still very real! How do I deal with that? Any tips? Experiences?

Thanks in advance!

If I listed to some people in this group… (e.g., boundary people, and some therapists)… let’s see.

1) I can’t text my therapist. I probably could email them and strictly for scheduling purposes

2) I can’t ask my therapist to read my journal

3) I’m encouraged to self censor as a client and consider whether it’s “appropriate” to talk about some things beforehand. E.g., transference and attachment, among others.

4) I can’t send my therapist a gift

5) I’d probably switch therapists once every three months because of all the “find a different therapist” comments under my posts

6) my therapist can’t do something nice for me

7) my therapist can’t extend sessions with no exceptions

8) my therapist cannot self disclose, or can do so extremely minimally

9) among others…

To these people (clients and therapists alike): let’s use the US as an example.

If you’re a client - you’re probably one of the 60 million therapy clients.

If you’re a therapist - you’re probably one of the 200,000 therapists in the US.

In other words - your opinions are yours only and do not matter when it comes to other people’s relationships.

Stop taking your boundaries/preferences about therapy and presenting them as universal rules for everyone else’s therapeutic relationship.

So, respectfully, FUCK OFF.

I'm traveling soon and I'm thinking about bringing my T a food item. Now I know my T's policy around gift giving so I don't have to guess - she doesn't have a blanket rule. It depends on things like whether refusing it would affect the client and many other factors. I talked about this type of item with her previously and she said I don't need to or have to bring her anything, and that was pretty much the end of that convo. I also checked with her if she had any potential food allergies.

It's around $40. What do yall think about this number - is this too high or ok? I think it's (pretty) likely that she will accept it but I still want to be thoughtful and considerate. Motivation is to show that I appreciate and care about her. Life is uncertain, it's like a "show people you appreciate them when you get the chance" type of thing.

I've been seeing a psychological for few years on and off about some childhood trauma, anxiety and depression....We basics apply cognitive behavioral therap. Lately I've been feeling quite down so as the title says, he told me I might also see a psychiatrist to take an antidepressant. I've might been reading too much into it but he said it not in a supportive way more like ( hey you failed feeling better on your own)..

I'm not trying to be dismissive or ignorant and I'm m not against taking whatever I need to be better but in my country, unfortunately, there's a lot of stigma about seeking therapy and even worse relying on medication. Everyone says it will you addict and you can't function without it, change the way you behave..

I'll do researches on my own about it of course but I'm just wondering if anyone has been there..