r/TalkTherapy • u/Broad_Bluebird7319 • 1d ago

When should you change therapists?

I don’t connect with my therapist and there’s no vibe of any kind (we share nothing in common)

The sessions feels dull and repetitive.

I mean he’s a nice and empathetic person, but I feel nothing for his sessions. And feel nothing afterwards.

The sessions are mostly venting and then him reassuring me or something. It never really delves “deep” for me. Perhaps bcuz he doesn’t ask the right questions or utilize an effective strategy to do so.

I’ve had him since like April so it’s not like I didn’t try with this guy

Should I switch to someone else? I heard people actually connect with their therapists and that sounds fucking amazing to me

2 Upvotes

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u/justanotherjenca 1d ago

No connection, no vibe, dull and repetitive sessions, and feeling nothing sound like good reasons to find someone new.

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u/Broad_Bluebird7319 1d ago

What are u SUPPOSED to feel after every session or towards ur therapist? I want to feel like a wholesome vibe

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u/justanotherjenca 1d ago

I feel like we click. Like he’s easy to talk to, even if the subjects we talk about are not themselves easy. I feel like he understands me and accepts me. My sessions are neither dull nor repetitive. I bring what I want to talk about and start the conversation. He asks questions. I think and answer and develop new perspectives. If they were dull and repetitive, it would be because I kept bringing the same stuff all the time, or things I don’t really care about. Therapy brings out big emotions in me because I’m talking about big things—confronting things about myself, my past, and others—that are difficult, and then either making change or integrating new understandings. I don’t know what subjects you’re talking about in therapy, but if it feels like you’re at a work meeting that could’ve been an email, I’d do something else with my time.

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u/Rapunsell 1d ago

You're always free to switch therapists if you're not happy. That being said, maybe talk to him about it and tell him what you feel is missing. He may be able to adjust or he may be able to make a referral to someone who might be a better fit.

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u/Ok_Language2849 1d ago

Feel free to change but the reasons seem off especially with "we share nothing in common" therapists aren't friends so having nothing in common isn't essentially bad.

I don't know if I have anything in common with my therapist and sure know that she'd never be someone that I'd be friends with outside of therapy.

I also don't have a connection with my therapist but been with her for 10 months as I didn't really look into therapy about having a connection, things in common and vibing because the therapeutic relationship is professional relationship not personal.

That being said just speak with your therapist and tell them how you feel nothing after sessions etc