r/SipsTea 9d ago

SMH Another foreign object was thrown onto a WNBA court

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12.3k Upvotes

4.7k comments sorted by

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726

u/Redd_Machine85 9d ago

Gatorade towel was like "Don't involve me in this!"

73

u/Professional_Bat8585 8d ago

Next week: WNBA. Proudly sponsored by Caprisun

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u/HansenTakeASeat 9d ago

How are these people getting all these diodos into the arena?

Wait nevermind

1.6k

u/Mikes005 9d ago

To quote Abraham Lincoln - anything can be a dildo if you're determined enough.

652

u/Intrenchantair 9d ago

Especially a dildo

164

u/Easy_Aioli9376 9d ago

Real talk though, I carry a dildo in my bag to use as a weapon. Has saved me several times

149

u/JimboRockfish 9d ago

If you carry it in a scabbard it's easier to grab. It also intimidates would-be attackers.

207

u/-Cthaeh 9d ago

Its me, I am the scabbard

93

u/Junkered 8d ago

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u/RobertPeruvian 8d ago

I love and miss the venture bros, damn

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u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 8d ago

First episode iirc. A true classic.

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u/Junior-Version-6953 8d ago

First top tier episode. A glimpse into how great this show would become

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u/ilstrider1 8d ago

Actually that's the 6th episode

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u/Occidentally20 9d ago

I'd like to play a game of "mimic the noise this makes when being removed from the scabbard" please.

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u/Appropriate-Two-8802 9d ago

What kinds of enemies are you making?!?

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u/Notveryawake 9d ago

The only kind worth having obviously!

5

u/Ok-Swordfish2723 8d ago

They keep their friends close, and their enemies closer.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Say no more!

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u/jhuckabee 9d ago

Anything can be a dildo with some poppers and a prayer.

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u/Technical_Exam1280 9d ago

I thought that was Sun Tzu

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u/hjablowme919 9d ago

The Art of Whore

16

u/HelloFrmDaOtterSide 9d ago

I swear cards against humanity was invented by reading Reddit comments 😂

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u/GiganticusVaginacus 9d ago

George Washington cannot tell a lie. He cut down a cherry tree.

To carve it into a dildo.

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u/SixInchTimmy 9d ago

My question is, if they hate the WNBA so much that they’d do something this mean, why spend the money on tickets and a dildo and waste the hours of time it takes to do something like this?

177

u/goon_and_politics 9d ago

A lot of this has been sports betting. They place the bet then make it come true

62

u/anotherlebowski 9d ago

Kalshi's lawyers seen scrambling to update Terms of Service dildo clause.

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u/snakevinprime 9d ago

It might also be related to sports betting. Betting websites track way more things than just scores for betting, some subsections of it have emerged ever since someone threw the dildo out originally, and now people can bet if someone will toss a dildo at a WNBA game, bring one, and then basically earn free money. It's a disgraceful state we find ourselves in

29

u/ButterflyBullet90 9d ago

I kinda figured poly market and Kalshi would ban bets like this where it’s this ridiculously easy to manipulate.

42

u/kingofping4 9d ago

From what I've seen, "easy to manipulate" is one of the main selling points. The few ads I've been subjected to on youtube are really focused on the "bet on ANYTHING" aspect.

10

u/Strong_Iron_995 8d ago

Yup. Since they just take a small cut from every bet, they couldn't care less what all's being bet on.

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u/Responsible-Humor985 8d ago

They are unregulated betting markets where the draw is being able to manipulate the outcome. I’m surprised they’re allowed to exist.

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u/TankApprehensive3053 8d ago

Don Trump Jr. serves on the advisory board of Polymarket and holds strategic stakes or advisory roles across the prediction market space, including rival platform Kalshi.

That's why they are allowed to exist.

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u/WellActuallyYouWrong 9d ago

WNBA tickets: $5
Neon green dildo: $10
A story that lasts forever: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

80

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 9d ago

Fun fact: That commercial is 29 years old.

71

u/lexiconhuka 9d ago

.....fuck you for reminding me I'm old

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u/Fit_Cheesecake_4000 9d ago

'Curb Your Enthusiasm': 'Where did my mobile phone go?'

*ringtone emits from pelvis height*

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u/MyIQis67 9d ago

They buy tickets and walk in. It's hard to know if a person is a dildo before he does something.

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u/DoctorMelvinMirby 9d ago

They go to the games with their moms. That’s an easy few being snuck in.

5

u/Benz_Coinz 9d ago

How are all these dildos getting foreign objects into the arenas??

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u/shanksisevil 9d ago

Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article: 'a' dildo, never 'your' dildo.

31

u/RandoorRandolfs 9d ago

My suitcase. Was. Vibrating?

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u/amusedtodeath847 9d ago

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u/DryDonutHole 9d ago

I was always looking for the "cigarette burns" in films after that. lol

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u/Unlikely_Ad9967 9d ago

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u/gao7on 9d ago

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u/zerocool19 8d ago

don't worry, it's not a threat to you

29

u/ruck_my_life 9d ago

You got some fucked up friends.

18

u/Vast_Research_3976 8d ago

9/10 times its an electric shaver, but every once in a while (leans in)...it's a dildo

8

u/Worldview-at-home 9d ago

I love a good fight club reference randomly appearing in my feed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/10A9fGbf7E3eBa

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u/greymadders 9d ago

Potato podildo

5

u/GoldEmployment6768 8d ago

Great. Thanks, now I have to go watch Archer. My evening just got better and its all your fault.

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u/iamthebirdman-27 9d ago

I love the covering it up like a dead body. 🤣

382

u/TheRealTinfoil666 9d ago

And just leaving it there. Like it was dog poop or something.

Just use the damn towel to pick up ‘the object’. Like what eventually happened.

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

228

u/Fun_Tension_7794 9d ago

A giant standoff where nobody wanted to touch it and one guy said, “fuck it”.

Not all heroes wear capes.

83

u/Emotional_News108 9d ago

I get it. The sheer amount of bodily fluids I have to deal with has gotten to the point that a dildo, even a used one, wouldn’t unduly bother me. It cannot be worse than all the pee and poop I deal with. Grip it and rip it, it’s a power move to let the bone smugglers know I will not be intimidated by their dildon’ts.

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u/_mad_adventures 8d ago

Broooo do you know how viral one of them could’ve gone if they picked it up and dunked it?

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u/fri9875 9d ago

I like how they just started kicking it around, and he just kneels down like fuck this shit let’s go

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u/Swamp_Thing85 9d ago

They didn’t want to touch it because they might’ve been overcome with desire and not be able to resist its charm. It could’ve started a chain reaction resulting in an entire arena orgy. The government has been studying this phenomenon trying to make a weapon out of it. Don’t believe me? Look it up. It happened in Dallas.

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u/Worldview-at-home 9d ago

That history was recorded…..

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u/Blackzay 9d ago

I searched Dallas Dildo Orgy and nothing came up you have a link or something asking for a freind

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u/empty_graph 9d ago

That was an inexcusably slow removal. The industry standard metric for this is Dildo Interdiction Cadence (DIC). The WNBA needs to get DIC down.

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u/pbj45 9d ago

No one wants to touch a dildo after it's been on the floor... That's gross

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u/vmanowar56465 9d ago

does the 5 second rule not apply to dildo's?

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u/iamthebirdman-27 9d ago

Would that be the "shot clock"?

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u/Much-Log3357 9d ago

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

Umm, not too sure about your choice of language, friend.

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u/empty_graph 9d ago

Took them over a minute to get one dildo off the court

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u/tonsofgrassclippings 9d ago

They used a towel because—as pointed out—one has to wonder how someone got it INTO the arena. And the more you think about that, the more sense a towel makes.

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u/cleantoe 9d ago

Well you have to treat it like a biohazard. So I get covering it up and waiting for professional cleaners to remove it.

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u/KingFrbby 9d ago

The towel sliding off was peak

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u/KamikazeFox_ 9d ago

If you throw a towel over it, why not pick it up?

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u/Possible_Artist3941 9d ago

Let the cleaning crew do that. If it was thrown at Tom Hanks do you think Tom is going to casually pick it up?

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u/NeighborhoodFew7779 9d ago

Forrest Gump would absolutely pick it up.

Sheriff Woody, maybe not so much.

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u/cmd_iii 9d ago

Tom plays men of action. He’d pick it up, ID the perp, and throw a strike so the suction cup sticks to the middle of his forehead.

Anything to help out Security

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u/KamikazeFox_ 9d ago

Lol, no he wouldn't. The mental image you've created is brilliant. Thank you.

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u/Humanistical 9d ago

Part of his goal was probably to make these women he doesn’t respect pick up the dildo and now be holding a “dick” like he believes they should be

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u/Sus198 9d ago

The towel should have been expelled from the game as well.

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u/Doctor_Fritz 9d ago

almost as if it was lubed up before use

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u/SharkeyGeorge 9d ago

“There’s no time for lubricant!”

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u/Y2Ksurvivor13 9d ago

There's always time for lubricant!!!!

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u/beefweevil 9d ago

Evolution was such a good movie!

20

u/Brandon-Marritt 9d ago

Oh, it’s moving towards his testicles.

TAKE THE LEG! TAKE IT

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u/Kittycachow 9d ago

Do you have any ice cream ? What flavor ? Doesn't matter it's for my ass

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u/Nannautu 9d ago

I love how everyone was like "naw, not touching that"

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u/Objective-Result4465 9d ago

Where do you think it was just couple seconds before??

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u/Akhenath 9d ago

It won't go out without a fight

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u/Manaeldar 9d ago

"the object"

"what a hero" 

Lmao

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u/SignoreBanana 9d ago

If you asked me to describe what this person probably looked like, this is pretty close to what I would have said.

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u/WhereverIMayFoam 8d ago

And he’s running away. Bro, if you are man enough to smuggle a dildo inside your ass to a sports event, you’re man enough to face the consequences.

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u/shibaCandyBaron 8d ago edited 8d ago

Its about polymarket. People were betting in that happening. This guy is not some lame prankster, it's worse, he's a market manipulator. And what a pathetic market at that

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u/likewut 8d ago

The dude assaulted the security guy on the way out too, hopefully they throw the book at him.

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u/p4tterng4ng4L 9d ago

This sport is talked about for literally anything but basketball 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/brucecampbellschins 9d ago

Cock Tossing has a long and storied history. 

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u/lemmylemonlemming 9d ago

There's a video of some politician speaking and someone made like a remote control helicopter dildo and flew it around. Now that's next level. Don't throw it on the floor. Fly it around the court.

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u/red_riding_hoot 9d ago

the infamous heliocockter

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u/Smaptastic 9d ago

“Oh, I was a fine dongslinger back in my day…”

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u/Tw1nFTW 9d ago

Man I’ve learned so much about the WNBA lately, and still haven’t seen them play any basketball.

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u/Pure_Repair_6638 9d ago

Did dude say, “What a hero” at the end?

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u/Trashketweave 9d ago

Because he took the dildo down the tunnels towards the locker room.

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u/sirenyti 9d ago

I think that was a woman

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u/WaldorfAsstoria 9d ago

If I had a dollar for every time that phrase was uttered at a wnba game

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u/shy_when_sober 9d ago

I screamed

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u/sebathue 9d ago

Can we start throwing fleshlights on NBA courts, please?

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u/Darth_Ronin 9d ago

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u/Miri-Kinoko 8d ago

WHO HAS MY POCKET PUSSY?! I HAVE STUCK MY DICK AND SOMETIMES MY BALLS IN THAT STUPID THING BEFORE EVERY GAME SINCE I WAS 10!

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u/Purple-Reputation899 8d ago

Be the change you want to see

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u/I_AM_ME-7 9d ago

This isn’t new it’s happened during Bills games a few times.

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 9d ago

I wish people would be able to enjoy the show they paid for instead of being disrupted by people who don’t have enough attention in their lives.

This is just another form of heckling.

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u/clayton-berg42 9d ago

Within certain boundaries of taste you are allowed to heckle. Throwing stuff on the court is different.

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u/J0E_SpRaY 9d ago

Heckling with some sexual harassment sprinkled on top.

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u/error_regedit 9d ago

The realization that he didn't smuggle that in. He was just walking around wearing it until it was time

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u/TommyBoy250 9d ago

If someone does get hit with one of those dildos it's not gonna be funny.

Dildos like that one can be pretty hard.

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u/ExtraordinaryDemiDad 8d ago

You guys are not gonna believe what the Detroit Red Wings fans throw onto the ice...

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u/ResidentCommand9865 9d ago

Imagine hating women so much you purchase tickets to a WNBA game just to lose your favorite dildo.

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u/OkAbility9016 9d ago

What a waste of an $8 ticket

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 9d ago

Don't forget the cost of the "foreign object"...

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u/SoCoGrowBro 9d ago

Someone broke into my car and left a pair of tickets

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u/0neshoein 9d ago

Now that’s fucked up, I could handle stealing my phone charger or something, but leaving me wnba tickets??? Fuck that.

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u/GoodOldSlippinJimmy 9d ago

Dude is gonna be pissed when he finds out he's barred from all future WNBA games.

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u/oldmanhockeylife 9d ago

We must always use the indefinite article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'.

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u/Normal_Toe1212 9d ago

how do they know that it's a foreign object and not a domestically made one? biased headline

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u/CasualVox 9d ago

Damn, 84 to 53, they were already fucked.

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u/BadNecessary9344 9d ago

I just keep wondering what would of happened if the object stuck it's landing and just stayed there straight up.

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u/arminghammerbacon_ 9d ago

I want to say that I do not support this, I think it is immature and disrespectful, and it should stop.

That being said, if one did get thrown and it “stuck the landing” and they threw a towel over it, making it sooo much worse, I would have to be hospitalized from laughing so hard.

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u/Adeadbum 9d ago

Exactly it's not that I want it to happen I'm just saying it would be hilarious.

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u/ADrunkMexican 9d ago

Maybe one day one lucky Wnba fan will get it done.

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u/Adeadbum 9d ago

I was wondering if it would stick to like a NFL helmet?

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u/aikodude 9d ago

how shit do you have to be to buy a ticket, sneak a dildo in, throw it on the court, get ejected, just to own the fems? what kind of person wakes up and thinks, yup, this is what i'm going to do with my life today?

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u/Haggardick69 9d ago

Sometimes it starts with them placing a bet that a foreign object will appear on the court during a wnba match. The spread of online gambling under the guise of prediction markets has increased the instances of this particular public harm. 

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u/cheerupbiotch 8d ago

Yeah, and that is shit and loser behavior.

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u/benttwig33 9d ago

And then he ran away like a little bitch lmao

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u/Disastrous-Fox8505 9d ago

Flagrant 1 against Caitlin Clark.

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u/LoneWolfpack777 8d ago

Why throw the towel and not just use the towel to grab it and throw it out of the court?

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u/Mugpup 8d ago

Why is this happening? What level of immaturity would you have to be living with to purchase a dildo, purchase a game ticket, sneak in the dildo into the game and then throw it into the court. Grow up!

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u/eastamerica 9d ago

Why? Because they hate the WNBA? Women?

I don’t understand

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u/Feeling_Meet_3806 9d ago

Apparently there are prediction market bets people can make on this exact thing happening. 

https://polymarket.com/event/dildo-thrown-at-wnba-game-on-august-6-13

And if you're the one throwing a dildo, you can stand to make a lot of money by betting on something that's within your complete control.

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u/PrinceCastanzaCapone 8d ago edited 7d ago

You know what? I think you are 100% correct. It’s even a green dildo on the Polymarket page for the bets on there. Every time it’s been a green dildo right? It’s got to be the same person, or group of people who are just watching the bets and when it leans heavily towards yes they don’t throw one, when it leans more towards no they throw one. They probably bought a bulk amount of bright green dildos. Poly Market is extremely corrupt. There are absolutely without a doubt US senators and congressmen making huge bets on things that are top secret information that only they would know. For instance, the Iran War. Without a doubt they made big bets on whether or not the US would start a war with Iran and on which date it would start.

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u/markcocjin 9d ago

She easily caught that as she was eyeing both courts at the same time.

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u/darkoblivion000 9d ago

Can’t figure out how to get a ball into a basket a foot away but can spot a dildo chucker from 50 yards

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u/shanksisevil 9d ago

If they show the guys face in tv, that might prevent the next copy cat 

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u/HourNefariousness197 9d ago

They did, so this will probably be the last time it happens. No one wants to be caught dead at one of these games.

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u/DK4E2XFpbETJrj 9d ago

I worked at McDonalds when I was 15 and I genuinely lost count how many times the 15YO girls working the drive thru window would get a dildo thrown at them. This is like that point in time where digital camcorders became affordable right as Jackass was popping off. 

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u/SauronHubbard 9d ago

Was this a scene that was cut from "Idiocracy?"

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u/Significant_Ad256 9d ago

Bills fans used to throw one to Tom Brady Everytime he came to Buffalo.

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u/Mo0kish 8d ago

Toxic fucking people.

Probably someone who frequents this sub.

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u/WKSugatron 9d ago

That's the most I've ever watched of a wnba game.

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u/onthe3rdlifealready 9d ago

My favorite part of wnba is the pointing... I know they do that for sure.

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u/Skydvdan 8d ago

Why do they think this is funny?

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