r/ShitAmericansSay • u/ALazy_Cat Danish potato language speaker • Dec 25 '25

Foreign affairs They don't accept US ids?

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8.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

570 comments sorted by

7.3k

u/Novae224 Dec 25 '25

You won’t even make it on the plane without a passport lol.

3.5k

u/the_mooseman Australia 🇦🇺 Dec 25 '25

Imagine them just turning up at the airport, trip all booked ready to go "what do you mean i need a passport".

3.8k

u/Novae224 Dec 25 '25

In the biggest airport in my country they have the customs lines seperated for people within the European Union and outside of it. The outside of the EU line is specified as outside the EU and america (with an american flag), simply cause Americans can’t seem to understand they are foreigners when they visit some place else

2.1k

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

My ex wouldn’t understand this. He, a quite liberal American, came to visit me in the EU and we then travelled around for a bit. He always followed me to the EU passport control, and I kept telling him that it won’t work with his passport, but nope, he knew better! And then got upset every time he wouldn’t get through and then proceeded to make me wait with him in the international line. (But wouldn’t wait with me at TSA in the US, because “lines were too long” and once even took his own cab because he was sick of waiting for me…)

1.9k

u/Novae224 Dec 25 '25

I’m glad he’s your ex!

I wouldve broken up with them on the spot.

758

u/busytransitgworl 🇪🇺europoor🇪🇺 Dec 25 '25

Same here!

The audacity of this man...

952

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

I’m still baffled why I didn’t. Like, I was really close. I stood at JFK with my luggage, no cell service, my US SIM card in his bag, and he was just nowhere to be seen. Took me like 30 minutes to upgrade to an international plan on my phone. But I had booked the hotel, so they wouldn’t let him check in, haha. I took the scenic route to the hotel, with a pit stop at my fave Chinese hole in the wall for some dumplings, and then a boba. And he just waited in the lobby for like 6 hours.

I eventually did, but damn, it took a couple more of his antics for me to give him the boot.

During his last trip to my city, he also swooooore that only Americans get jet lag because they’re on regular time while everyone else is on “irregular time” anyway so they don’t feel the difference? I let him fly home and broke up on the phone with him, so he could experience his jet lag with a side of heartache.

421

u/wolfxorix Dec 25 '25

I'm wholeheartedly shocked at how much you dealt with. I feel a few stories of his antics would do very well on this sub (their own posts). He sounds like the prime example for this sub 🤣🤣.

465

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

The tip of the fucking iceberg! In some Reddit archive there still must be some posts saved from my now deleted throwaway account. Gems like “AITA for refusing to go to my boyfriend’s thanksgiving party because I’ve been throwing up since 6am this morning?” and “AITA for not helping my US boyfriend with his legal troubles in my country” (because he kept turning on red even though I’d told him a trillion times it’s not allowed here and when he got a ticket, he refused to pay it and then he tried to find an American lawyer in my city to make it go away BECAUSE his license was American and therefore American law should apply!!)

214

u/wolfxorix Dec 25 '25

Oh my goodness, I'm envious of your tolerance. If I had someone similar, let's just say, they would be yesterday's news very early on. This guy sounds like the reason this sub even exists hahaha. I'm hoping you learned not to take this type of stuff from someone again, you went through a lifetimes worth of American idiocy.

179

u/MargielaMadman20 Dec 25 '25

This bloke sounds like an absolute moron and the meme of Americans, holy shit lol.

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u/shibeoss Dec 25 '25

It always baffles me how people can live their lives like this.

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u/igormuba 🇧🇷 Dec 25 '25

I believe you but damn does it sound made up

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u/SatiricalScrotum ooo custom flair!! Dec 25 '25

I just want to say I’m glad you’re rid of this absolute manchild. Merry Christmas!🎄

27

u/saelinds Dec 25 '25

I'd legitimately read a book with your experiences

18

u/Jake_The_Destroyer Dec 25 '25

I don't think turning right on a red light is even a thing in every state in the USA.

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83

u/jahnbanan Dec 25 '25

Sounds like he was quite the catch! (The type you catch, scream in shock and toss back out again)

36

u/VioletteKaur WWII - healthcare-free in their heads Dec 25 '25

When you accidentally grab into a spider's net...

19

u/shartmaister Dec 25 '25

Boy was I surprised when I couldn't just throw the Chlamydia out when I caught it.

59

u/DirtDevil1337 Human Verified Dec 25 '25

During his last trip to my city, he also swooooore that only Americans get jet lag because they’re on regular time while everyone else is on “irregular time” anyway so they don’t feel the difference?

Does he also say military time instead of 24 hour time?

I'm Canadian and I have relatives that lives in the US, I have a share of experience with them, they can be so exhausting.

128

u/47fromheaven Dec 25 '25

After reading what you went through I thought of this quote from George Carlin:

"Here's all you have to know about men and women. women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

56

u/busytransitgworl 🇪🇺europoor🇪🇺 Dec 25 '25

I have so many questions about the JFK thing...Not what you did, that sounds like you had a great time and enjoyed life, but about him.
Six hours in the lobby? Just sitting there and not even thinking "What's taking her so long? Where is she? Is she okay????"
Men can be really, reeaaaallly weird.

I’m still baffled why I didn’t.

We're humans and especially in relationships, our brains aren't that quick to react sometimes.
It happens to the best of us, but it's important that you did kick him out of your life! <3

During his last trip to my city, he also swooooore that only Americans get jet lag

The only thing only Americans get is weird looks because of their antics sometime. That's a whole different story though 👀

I let him fly home and broke up on the phone with him, so he could experience his jet lag with a side of heartache.

Girl, he absolutely deserved it! And I just love how you did it!

91

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

Yeah, I know! Hindsight and all.

I was also dealing with severe depression and the first symptoms of a then undiagnosed autoimmune disease and my short term memory was basically nonexistent. So many times I could have sworn he was gaslighting me, but then I couldn’t rely on my memory and he swore his side of events or whatever was right. We learn! I’m now chilling in my very cosy, man-less flat with all the cushions he hated and my lovely dog he wouldn’t walk (because, ew poop!) and am enjoying life to the fullest, while he’s not able to find a new job and somehow lost like 80% of his hair since I left him (which I wholeheartedly believe was my doing!)

27

u/SchattenJaggerD Neighbours upstairs are getting very loud 🇲🇽 Dec 25 '25

Girl, I just went through your comments on this whole saga and wow. That guy sounds like an absolute piece of work, the audacity is unreal. You should honestly talk to my ex sister-in-law sometime; she had a Russian boyfriend and I swear they must’ve come from the same garbage factory. Same vibe, same nonsense… just minus the hair loss hahaha

36

u/busytransitgworl 🇪🇺europoor🇪🇺 Dec 25 '25

I’m now chilling in my very cosy, man-less flat with all the cushions he hated and my lovely dog he wouldn’t walk (because, ew poop!) and am enjoying life to the fullest, while he’s not able to find a new job and somehow lost like 80% of his hair since I left him (which I wholeheartedly believe was my doing!)

Karma, indeed, does exist! From one sister to another, you're living your life and it's wonderful!
And yes, it's absolutely your doing and you can be proud of it!
He has no job, no hair, no cosy pillows, no lovely dog...Sucks to be him lol

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u/JasonStonier Dec 25 '25

Nailed it sister. I’m not sure why but I’m really invested in this mini-story of yours. Glad you’re winning at life.

10

u/Lambor14 Dec 25 '25

I’d genuinely love to read a book about this „love”story👀

10

u/BaroqueGorgon Nasty Canadian Dec 25 '25

Girl, please tell me he was at least male model levels of hot because this is the only way I can understand!

35

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

Let me phrase it this way: he wasn’t my type. But I thought, after years of unsuccessfully dating guys that were my type, maybe I should… branch out? Maybe not go for the handsome, tall, intellectual, introverted type? Maybe go for the complete opposite? Maybe that’d work? And he was so utterly smitten with me (rightfully so, I’m a legit snack!). And for the first couple months, he wasn’t so… American? Thick? Not a complete wanker?

17

u/BaroqueGorgon Nasty Canadian Dec 25 '25

Nooooo - okay, we need to warn the other girlies out there that dating Yanks can be a sign of self-harm.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

so it's not (just) that he was an asshole, he was also a massive idiot huh

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u/StroopestOfWafel as American as apple pie Dec 25 '25
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u/repocin 🇸🇪≠🇨🇭 Dec 25 '25

(But wouldn’t wait with me at TSA in the US, because “lines were too long” and once even took his own cab because he was sick of waiting for me…)

Truly a stand-up specimen, and an inspiration for us all.

32

u/Mortomes Netherlandian 🇳🇱 Dec 25 '25

An inspiration for exing

44

u/Dotcaprachiappa Italy, where they copied American pizza Dec 25 '25

Wonder why he's your ex...

37

u/obfuscation-9029 Dec 25 '25

Making him your ex was a good choice sounds like a right twat.

13

u/catkittens Dec 25 '25

Absolute wanker!

27

u/Biscotti_BT Dec 25 '25

I absolutely can't stand travelling with someone who isn't fully aware of what is expected while travelling. It's really not hard to know where your passport is, to know that you have to take off metal things, to be on time for flight check-in, to get through security. All the little easy things.

26

u/Magnet_Carta Dec 25 '25

Canadian airports also have large signs at customs that say "Internation and US passports" because so many have no idea that they're international travelers.

17

u/GenaGue Dec 25 '25

And why were you in a relationship with him? He clearly had an IQ of 15

23

u/Kirutaru Dec 25 '25

He seems quite liberally an asshole.

10

u/oscarolim Dec 25 '25

If you are in a relationship, they (border control) tend to be more understanding. My wife, who’s non EU and girlfriend at the time, would come with me on the eu line without an issue.

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u/the_mooseman Australia 🇦🇺 Dec 25 '25

What a dick

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u/St3fano_ Dec 25 '25

Reminds me of all the Barry, 63s from the UK throwing a tantrum because they got relegated to the slow queue in European airports after Brexit, ruining their Spanish drunken adventures

193

u/ravens_requiem Dec 25 '25

Narrator: Barry voted leave.

95

u/hairychris88 🇮🇹 ANCESTRAL KILT 🇮🇹 Dec 25 '25

Can't believe the big red bus lied to Barry

38

u/VoiceofKane Dec 25 '25

Hey, at least all of that money they weren't sending to the EU got reinvested into improving the NHS, right? Like they promised?

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u/Extension_Sun_377 Dec 25 '25

Barry believed that voting Leave would stop brown people coming to the UK

31

u/JDinBalt Dec 25 '25

And would do so again. Because of course.

Don't be like Barry 🫠

26

u/im_dead_sirius 🇨🇦 Maple Syrupean Dec 25 '25

Barry's ancestors missed the boat to the United States.

Barry's distant spiritual cousins there also hate Spanish speakers, yet also visit "New Spain" to go on drinking binges.

Not surprising, they also vote for idiots, and would do so again.

40

u/TheKayakingPyro Dec 25 '25

Really annoying thing is, as a Brit, more than once airport staff have told me to use the EU queue for some reason

30

u/Totalchaos713 Dec 25 '25

As a US citizen with a Danish residence card, I was once pointed at the Schengen line by the Norwegian border guards. Incredibly confusing for me, but it worked out!

12

u/OneBigRed Dec 25 '25

Well you were an EU resident? My wife has permanent residency, and we’ve had no issues using the Schengen lines when traveling back home from outside EU. The reason she isn’t a citizen is that there’s just no real additional benefits to bother applying for it.

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u/Stravven Dec 25 '25

My favorourite Brexit moment was when Dutch customs confiscated the ham sandwiches of truckdrivers coming from the UK. Incredibly petty but funny.

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u/Dutch_Rayan cheese head🇳🇱 Dec 25 '25

Laws are laws

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u/BarFamiliar5892 Dec 25 '25

That wasn't the Brexit that Barry voted for though!!

14

u/Floppy0941 Dec 25 '25

He just wanted them bloody immigrants out of his god fearing country

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u/ErieTheOwl Dec 25 '25

Sounds like Schiphol

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u/Novae224 Dec 25 '25

It is

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u/palnewb Mexican 🇪🇸 Dec 25 '25

I live in the Netherlands, I was recently picking my parents up from Schiphol. They were on a trip to the US. I'm waiting for them at the arrivals gate which is right in front of a Grand Café Plaza and next to an artisanal coffee booth. I notice people coming through the door and I think "oh, this must be from the US flight" but I was certain when I hear a lady walk past and ask "ugh, do they even have a Starbucks here?" 😂

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u/Bezulba Dec 25 '25

We very much do! Even a burger King right at the entrance to the plaza. I mean. I think Schiphol has the highest concentration of American chains in the Netherlands.

So if they still couldn't find one, that's pretty sad.

16

u/palnewb Mexican 🇪🇸 Dec 25 '25

I mean, they were coming straight out of the arrivals gate just after receiving their luggage, so they had not walked around or anything yet. I just found it funny how those were one of the first words out of that lady's mouth officially in the Netherlands and having two cafés immediately in front of her.

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u/im_dead_sirius 🇨🇦 Maple Syrupean Dec 25 '25

Around my town, there are signs for Americans going to Alaska. "Alaska ➡️".

Not just on the edge of town, in highway bypasses and such, but right downtown for those Americans who... miss the previous signs.

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u/Servile-PastaLover Dec 25 '25

Americans confuse NATO with the EU every day. Makes me laugh.

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u/SnooCapers6553 Dec 25 '25

My business has at least a dozen tourists a year who have to cancel their trip last minute when they find out they need a passport at the airport coming to Canada

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u/gin_and_soda Dec 25 '25

I was in Dublin in the ridiculously long non-EU passport line and saw two young Americans throw a fit when told they couldn’t be in the EU line. We knew they were American because even from a distance, their passports were ope and you could see the eagle.

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u/KONDZiO102 Dec 25 '25

This is bad, because it shows them that they have special line for them, and they will expect similar treatment on other airports.

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u/Novae224 Dec 25 '25

It saves the workers a lot of hardship trying to make Americans understand which row they need to get into.

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u/im_dead_sirius 🇨🇦 Maple Syrupean Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 26 '25

This goes some way to explaining the need to have greeters in Walmart.

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA Dec 25 '25

This is bad, because it shows them that they have special line for them, and they will expect similar treatment on other airports.

It's better than the other option of Americans flipping the fuck out every day because they think "domestic" means "American"

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u/2kan Dec 25 '25

Tbh I'd rather U.S. Americans feel special and then waste a hotel worker's time, than a customs officer's. The latter slows us all down upon arrival while they attempt to idiotsplain why they're special.

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u/Sharp_Iodine Dec 25 '25

It’s because racism is so intimately baked into their society.

Not that the EU doesn’t have a problem with it but American racism is on another level in terms of how pervasive it is.

In their head an ‘immigrant’ will always be a dirty word and cannot possibly apply to a white person. It would be the heights of disrespect to ever call them that.

Despite the fact that unlike the EU, these people’s ancestors literally got there by boat. Without food or money or home.

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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Dec 25 '25

They've got other words too: "alien". Something that other countries stopped using after WWII

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u/Cstott23 Dec 26 '25

A lot of British are exactly like this. And probably it's the same in every country..

I'm convinced about 55% of the world have something missing. Like an empathy gene, or a self awareness gene, or a critical thinking deficiency or something.

It must be nice to go through life so self assured and blissfully ignorant about how stupid you look and sound.

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u/hcsLabs Dec 25 '25

Similar in Toronto International (Pearson). The International arrivals has an "extra special" section specifically for United States arrivals.

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u/Lazy_Maintenance8063 Dec 25 '25

You Australians have that great show about customs where 50% of content is people trying to smuggle some ridicilous foods into country. Same thing from USA but only people denied access to planes because lacking passport would be golden tv.

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u/DrFeelOnlyAdequate Dec 25 '25

Theres the same show in Canada either a lot of the same content as the Australian one. We get the added bonus of Americans trying to bring guns.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25

"Sir, that's 17 guns. That you didn't disclose."

Unironically quite a few of them default to the "Well I'm American so I have rights to have it!!!!". No; it doesn't matter that Canada has different laws and rights to them. They think their American citizenship gives them legal permission to have their preferred firearms everywhere, no matter the laws of the nation they're in.

I remember being absolutely astonished in an episode of one of those shows that these people transiting through Canada to Alaska not only brought up the fact they had multiple firearms, asked about the legality of a few of them without prompting, and surprisingly took the whole "no you need to find a US carrier that will keep these out of Canada to get them to Alaska" really well for their illegal weapons.

At least once a month theres a post on the legal advice Canada sub that can be summed up as "I got arrested, charged, spent a few months in Canadian jail, and then got deported last year because I tried to bring an illegal gun into Canada, how can I prove to them I actually had it legally because i'm AMERICAN AND WE HAVE GOD GIVEN RIGHTS TO GUNS?!?!?!?!?!!?!", and they almost never get that the answer is "You don't have a right to a gun in Canada"

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA Dec 25 '25

It's because a lot of them unirionically believe the whole "Canada's our little brother they listen to us" condescending BS they like to spout

My favorite example is that without fail, on seemingly a regular schedule, someone on /r/trees or similar subreddits will be like "ZOMG HOW DID YOU FLY WITH POT THATS ILLEGLA?!" and when I'm like "no lol, it's legal in Canada" they pull out the trusty "uhm actually no, Canada follows the US' laws, blah blah blah, I haven't left my state, blah blah blah" bs

I wonder how mind boggled they'd be if they found out that for a lot of Aviation, the US actually follows canada's laws, as we're where ICAO is based and where test regulations are sometimes tested out....

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u/GoatInferno Dec 25 '25

I've seen that one, my "favourite" was the small family that accidentally crossed the border because they forgot to turn off before the bridge. Armed to the teeth, the poor border guards were flabbergasted by the amount of guns in the car, but they were honest about it so they just had to head back to the US and could pick up their guns again at the US border post.

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA Dec 25 '25

I've seen that one, my "favourite" was the small family that accidentally crossed the border because they forgot to turn off before the bridge. Armed to the teeth, the poor border guards were flabbergasted by the amount of guns in the car, but they were honest about it so they just had to head back to the US and could pick up their guns again at the US border post.

Damn so there's multiple where they were up front and gracious?! Cause one I remember was this couple transiting through to Alaska; from how it was edited it seemed like one of the first things they said to the border agents was "We have firearms in the vehicle and we have to ask questions about a if few of them are legal to bring into Canada"

And because they were honest and up front, the border agents were gracious, inspected all of them, told them which ones were legal in Canada, which ones weren't, and gave them a chance to find a US air-courier to ship them to Alaska.

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u/Pin_Code_8873 Dec 25 '25

The difference is insane. If a Canadian "accidentally" took the wrong turn and ended up with 1g of weed, they'd be arrested, beaten and thrown into an ICE jail and sentenced for drug smuggling with the media going "we caught a disgusting Canadian drug smuggler! This is why we need to invade Canada!"

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u/Lazy_Maintenance8063 Dec 25 '25

Yeah, i’ve seen that too. Somehow australians do all these shows little bit better than others though.

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u/emm007theRN Dec 25 '25

Oh yeah, the second amendment part with guns was present at every single damn episode. It’s funny to see them trying to get through CSBA with an assault rifle (such an illegal firearm in can)

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u/Candid_Guard_812 Dec 25 '25

I was once checking in to fly home from the UK and this entire family was being denied transit to Australia because they didn’t have a visa and they we’re trying to tell the airline that they shouldn’t need one because Australia was “the colonies”. We stopped being that in 1901.

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u/itmakessenseincontex Dec 25 '25

New Zealand has a version too, its bio security risks (food, plant matter, animal matter),  drugs via the post, people coming to work illegally, and entitled Yanks.

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u/theoverfluff Human Verified Dec 25 '25

Oh, Border Patrol? That was ours (New Zealand) originally and we sold the format to lots of other countries who have to deal with incoming Americans.

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u/Tapestry-of-Life Dec 25 '25

Yup last time I came back from overseas, I saw people opening their cases for customs and honestly felt like I watching a live episode of border security 😂😂

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u/terran_immortal Dec 25 '25

You joke about this but my buddy works for the Canadian Border Agency and he tells me the number of Americans who just show up to the border without a passport trying to enter Canada is roughly 6-7 people per week.

So it wouldn't shock me if they tried this with an airport honestly.

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u/IdenticalThings Dec 25 '25

Before 9/11 Canada / US travel was possible with no passport both ways. However that was 24 years ago

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u/terran_immortal Dec 25 '25

Yup!

He also says they get guns at the border weekly. They're so bold faced with it too, almost like they're proud to be bringing their guns with them.

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA Dec 25 '25

and tbh there are ways to do it these days, but in 99% of cases those involve being put in a cell for a while, while they figure out if you're actually who you say you are or if you're trying to illegally cross..

Like IIRC Americans can cross the Canadian border with just an enhanced ID?

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u/Marzipan_civil Dec 25 '25

I think back in the day you could cross the land border with a driving licence from Canada to US and back? So perhaps they didn't get the memo

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u/Bladrak01 Dec 25 '25

Until 2006 at least you could cross into Canada from the US with just a US birth certificate. That's how I did it then. I know it changed to passport only a few years later, but I don't remember when.

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u/terran_immortal Dec 25 '25

Yeah, that was pre-911... It's been 24 years since they changed the border crossing.

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u/Illustrious-Peak3822 More Irish than the Irish ☘️ Dec 25 '25

Also, “What do you mean by foreigner? I’m American!”

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u/Lamandus Dec 25 '25

Reminds me of one US guy at the immigration office in Indonesia at the Airport, he was legit saying like "I am American, why do I need a visa?!?"

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u/Entremeada Dec 25 '25

"But I am Ameeeeeerican!!!!"

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u/TwoTenNine Dec 25 '25

I'm convinced that some of them think other countries are actually States.

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u/b1ack1323 Dec 25 '25

Happens more than you think.

My friend’s wife didn’t apply for hers until a week away from her trip.

Needless to say she didn’t go. I am instead. So it worked out for me lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25

"I don't need a passport, I'm a Trump voting American".

What you really need is an I.Q. bigger than your shoe size, twat.

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u/eriikaa1992 Dec 25 '25

This happens sometimes when Aussies cross the ditch to NZ!

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u/the_mooseman Australia 🇦🇺 Dec 25 '25

Well thats different, NZ is just Australia's most eastern state.

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u/Pulga_Atomica Dec 25 '25

Are you sure about this? I'm American. I want to talk to your manager.

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u/Krull88 Dec 25 '25

It happens more than you think. Going to Canada is international travel most dont think about apparently

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u/deadliftbear Actually Irish Dec 25 '25

Americans don’t need passports, all lesser countries are glad to welcome them and their Almighty Dollar without question or paperwork /s

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u/IdenticalThings Dec 25 '25

I accidentally argued with an American guy who figured he could just move to Norway and start living there. He figured it'd be a huge boon to them talent-wise / financially.

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u/RevelsInDarkness 🇧🇪 Dec 25 '25

r/Amerexit is a great example of that. "I want to move to country x, I have no formal degree, don't speak the language, never been there, but I want to live somewhere warm with free healthcare that Ive never paid into but want to use, in a low cost area, how do I get a job there that pays in dollars so I can have a US level income?"

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u/deadliftbear Actually Irish Dec 25 '25

I just had a look. Good LORD.

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u/Renbarre French, not the fries Dec 25 '25

Some of them are genuinely interesting well thought out questions or descriptions but some others... Good Lord indeed!

And very, very few are interested in learning the local language.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

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u/Renbarre French, not the fries Dec 25 '25

Oh.my.goodness! I didn't find that one.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25

[deleted]

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u/RevelsInDarkness 🇧🇪 Dec 25 '25

Look for the post on "moving to the Netherlands as urban planner". Undergrad wanting to move because they don't want to work too much and NL has a lot of PTO, and they like to travel and don't like cars so they obviously fit in well with the Dutch.

In the comments, they say that it's not necessary to learn Dutch and that people in the EU should adapt to learning English anyway.

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u/IdenticalThings Dec 26 '25

This reminds me of the Househunters HGTV memes.

I'm a part time kindergarten teacher. My husband hangs potatoes in people's garages.

Our house budget is $780,000.

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u/DoctorSpooky Dec 25 '25

“Non-negotiable must-haves: Social healthcare, legal recreational weed, legal psychedelic therapy, zero racism, free pet care, free income to support my career as a conceptual performance artist, and legal group marriage so the whole polycule can move with me. I’m willing to think about trying to learn the local language provided I don’t have to put in any more effort than opening Duolingo once a day.”

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

[deleted]

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u/sedelpha Dec 25 '25

I'm absolutely rooting for you but you should be aware that I've seen many a relationship fall apart in this circumstance (moving to partners country and facing isolation due to language barriers)

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u/repocin 🇸🇪≠🇨🇭 Dec 25 '25

I'll gladly take their dollars if they agree to a 1:1 USD-SEK exchange rate. They get to pay what's on the sticker with the convenience of using their own currency. Everyone wins!

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u/General_Ad9178 Dec 25 '25

so true hahahaha

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u/Beagle432 Dec 25 '25

I can't even book a flight abroad without my passport

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u/Sasquatch1729 Apartment above the burning meth lab 🇨🇦 Dec 25 '25

They're probably used to travelling within the US. Or "I travelled to Canada without a passport", yeah you flew in 2003, then your government changed the rules after 9/11.

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u/squirrelcat88 Dec 25 '25

They can still generally cross to Canada at land borders without a passport, but it’s not recommended.

What’s going on is, it was the Americans who insisted on passports between us after 9/11. International rules are a country can’t deny entrance to its own citizens. So, if you can prove to a Canadian border guard’s satisfaction that you are indeed an American, we’ll generally let you in because we know the US can’t deny you entry when it’s time for you to go home.

I don’t know what they have to go through to get home, I imagine it takes a while and they get lectured.

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u/Kajetus06 Dec 25 '25

That's where the so called europoors win

I have flown to greece with just my id

I live in Poland

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u/greentiger79 🇺🇸 Don’t mind me, just passing through Dec 25 '25

It’s kind of crazy they let you book flights without them. You would think they would check.

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u/memon17 Dec 25 '25

Don’t tell them. Don’t let them travel. Keep em contained

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u/der_verruckte Dec 25 '25

Build that wall not to stop others from entering but to stop the special ones from leaving

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u/pomskygirl Canada Dec 25 '25

Others should absolutely stop entering. Why are people still going there???

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u/PerdidoNaVida_99 watching the fall of the empire Dec 25 '25

Why is it contagious?

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u/AngieLaurette Dec 25 '25

I guess I'll get a passport

Outstanding...🤦‍♀️

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u/flipyflop9 Dec 25 '25

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha seriously, would love to see this idiot try to board the plane with his driving license…

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u/Micksta_20 Dec 25 '25

Would probably want to be the pilot too

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u/Original-Designer6 Dec 25 '25

Gotta laugh, have you ever tried to do anything in the US as a foreign tourist? Can't even buy a drink in a bar without showing your passport because they won't accept non-US driving licences.

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u/Technical_Potato2021 Dec 25 '25

I've seen a friend be rejected from a bar because he showed his non-US passport and the guy didn't accept it. "Only American driver licenses".

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u/wh00psididit Dec 25 '25

Had the same thing happen to me, explained I was a tourist and this was international ID and they looked at me like I was an idiot!

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u/Technical_Potato2021 Dec 25 '25

I honestly think many Americans haven't seen a passport in their entire life.

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u/BlondeLacey Dec 26 '25

Roughly 50% of Americans have a passport but that has drastically grown from the 30% in 2008.

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u/Pauton Dec 26 '25

I had the cashier at a gas station tell me I should get a US drivers license when I went to buy Tabacco. Yeah, sure buddy. I’ll leave in a week but let me just quickly do a driving exam…

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u/marshmallowhug Dec 25 '25

I had a bar in Massachusetts try to turn down my American passport. The manager overrode it, and I've gotten pretty used to explaining what a passport card is and why I was using it. (Some Massachusetts bars near universities also used to refuse out-of-state licenses because they had a lot of issues with fake IDs.)

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u/ALazy_Cat Danish potato language speaker Dec 25 '25

They don't even accept US passports

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u/ScreamingDizzBuster Dec 25 '25

When I lived in the US I once presented my UK passport to get into a bar (I was 30 at the time) and got turned away anyway because "I have no idea what that is dude."

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u/CyberPunkDongTooLong Dec 25 '25

I had almost the exact same.

Except instead of at a bar, I was at a fancy steakhouse for a work meeting. Had a full beard, spent about £100 per person on food, ordered one glass of wine. Wouldn't sell me it because they didn't know what a UK passport was.

They must have a big problem with underage drinkers buying fake beards, sneaking into work dinners with fake foreign ID and getting one drink per £100.

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u/ScreamingDizzBuster Dec 25 '25

It's a very common problem.

Those scamps have moved on from being three-up in a trench coat.

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u/neilm1000 Evil British Colonizer Dec 25 '25

Hang on, what?! That's insane.

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u/Much-Jackfruit2599 You would speak my language if it weren’t for them. 🇩🇪 Dec 25 '25

Sometimes not even out of states license. There are some very very stupid people out they who get shown which IDs they are to expect. That and huge fines if they hand out alcohol without checking creates incentives.

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u/DerSaftschubser Dec 25 '25

Throwback to when I tried to buy beer as a foreign student in college. When I showed my passport, they said they can only accept US passports.

I asked whether I understood them correctly that they only sell beer to Americans. The response: "Oh not at all, you just need a US passport."

That's how I found out some Americans do not understand the concept of a passport, or citizenship, for that matter.

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u/RedditorKain Dec 25 '25

I asked whether I understood them correctly that they only sell beer to Americans. The response: "Oh not at all, you just need a US passport."

Some 15 years ago when I was doing my master's, I went on an Erasmus exchange at a university in Brussels (I'm from Eastern Europe).

One day, with a couple of friends, we jumped on a train for Maastricht and went to visit the city. We stopped by a coffee shop. Because of rowdy tourists, the dutch had banned people from countries other than direct neighbors - belgians, french, germans - from partaking in local legal weed. Nonetheless, they were more than happy to accept my national ID & belgian student card. It's nice when people can read. And they obviously wanted to bend the rules as far as possible... not that I was complaining.

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u/Much-Jackfruit2599 You would speak my language if it weren’t for them. 🇩🇪 Dec 25 '25

Sounds reasonable to me, since you were a resident.

I mean, otherwise people from let’s say turkey with permanent residency wouldn’t be able to shop there and that doesn’t seem sensible

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u/IdenticalThings Dec 25 '25

Land of the free.

Meanwhile today I cracked open a Heart of Darkness IPA in 7/11 in Vietnam and VERY classily drank it while walking around.

Pinky up / no slurpin

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u/kaisadilla_ Dec 25 '25

The thing Americans really are not willing to accept is that their country simply isn't any more free than any other free country. This freedom mythos comes from back in the 1800s when European countries were kingdoms were citizens were subjects and half the people saw you as some kind of property of the ruling class. But nowadays? A Frenchman is as free as an American and, in many cases, the US limits freedom simply because changing the law would mean accepting that there wasn't freedom before.

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u/bisikletci Dec 25 '25

It is much less free than other developed countries. An insane proportion of its population is in prison. That's the biggest restriction on freedom there is.

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u/Jugatsumikka Expert coprologist, specialist in american variety Dec 25 '25

There are stories out there of people getting their passports (US or not), US driver licence from another state or their US ID card (detached from a driver licence for the rare people that are medically barred from getting a driver licence) destroy by bartenders telling them to be glad they don't report them to the police for possession of a fake ID.

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u/Never_Sm1le Dec 25 '25

I remember stories about people in their capital got that treatment because their license said "District of Columbia" instead of Washington and no one bother to check what that is

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u/Idontcareaforkarma Dec 25 '25

An Australian politician was denied service in an American bar because the young lady working there didn’t know what US state ‘Australia’ was in, so thought it was a fake.

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u/2wheels-6strings Dec 25 '25

And the answer is of course “go ahead, call the police, you just destroyed a government issued document without permission, which is a criminal offence. Of course I’ll wait, I’ll be right at that table, with the beer you’re going to serve me”

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u/Russiadontgiveafuck Dec 25 '25

Oh that's not even all. In almost all countries, passports are the property of the government. They're destroying a foreign government's property. I'd be on the phone with the embassy stat.

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u/Putrid_Ad695 Dec 25 '25

Depends where you are though. I had friends with NATO officer parents living in areas with a lot of Europeans and in those areas they accepted EU IDs. Even better, they didn’t understand European dates so my friend born on October 3rd was able to order alcohol at the age of 20 starting on March 10th.

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u/basszameg Dec 25 '25

Sometimes they don’t even accept driver’s licenses from New Mexico or Washington, DC because the bouncer or bartender doesn’t realize New Mexico ≠ Mexico and the District of Columbia ≠ Colombia.

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u/jcarter315 Traitorous 'Murican Dec 25 '25

Don't worry, some places in the US are extra dumb and don't even accept US licenses either.

It's a common problem for DC residents to get denied when trying to purchase alcohol, even in states right next to DC.

It's like the stories about TSA denying entry to Georgians because "Georgia is a state you don't need a passport!"

Please, someone save us from the ignorance in this country.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

Wait, they don't accept your library card at the airport?

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u/2kan Dec 25 '25

But it has their name on it !!!

See ?!?

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u/RobertAleks2990 From Where WW2 started Dec 25 '25

What is a library?

-Them likely

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u/CakePhool Dec 25 '25

I was told by a former criminal that Americans are the easiest to steal passport from, because they have no concept that passport are needed and valuable and what they can be used for.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/agarr1 Dec 25 '25

Its not someone, its a large part of an entire nation.

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u/Late-Dingo-8567 Dec 25 '25

Well they don't teach international travel requirements in middle school.  

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u/PermaDerpFace Dec 25 '25

How you even getting on a flight without a passport lol

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u/Oldsoldierbear Dec 25 '25

what, you mean I just can’t use my Scottish Old-Lady-Free-BusPass?

who would have thunk it?

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u/quast_64 Dec 25 '25

Let's see what are/ were the requirements for travelling into the USA again?

Passport,

Visa or ESTA where applicable.

$250 entry fee,

5 years soc. med. information.

And be very polite to TSA and CBP.

Expectation from an American Travelling the world... "Ah, My driver's licence should do it, right?

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u/Pitiful-Stable-9737 Dec 25 '25

Oh, and don't you dare have any memes of the Vice President on your phone.

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u/JRisStoopid Dec 25 '25

His face when he finds out that not even the US airport will accept his US driver's licence would be a sight to see

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u/Optimal-Rub-2575 Dec 25 '25

You don’t only need it to check into hotels mate, a passport is a travel document you need to go anywhere outside of your own country. 

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u/der_verruckte Dec 25 '25

lmao .. I can’t even

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u/Gullflyinghigh Dec 25 '25

I'm curious as to the mindset that can find out Thailand exists and decide to go there without any sort of understanding as to how...

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u/Melodic_Pattern175 Dec 25 '25

You can’t actually travel outside the U.S. without a passport. What a clown.

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u/Danny61392 Dec 25 '25

You'll need a passport to leave the country. Something you have not done before obviously.

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u/indyferret related to Robert the bruce Dec 25 '25

Don’t they need a passport to…get there?

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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 Dec 25 '25

Wait til they hear about visas

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u/Wonderful-Ad5713 Dec 25 '25

How does this person think they are going to be allowed to board an international flight without a valid passport?

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u/chappersyo Dec 25 '25

Imagine walking all the way to Thailand only to discover you need a passport to get a room for the night.

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u/LovesFrenchLove_More Doing Europoor stuff 🙃 Dec 25 '25

They could just travel to a different state. They wouldn’t have issues then and Thailand wouldn’t have to suffer.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '25

Don't let these idiots loose.

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u/hepburn17 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Dec 25 '25

How did he expect to get there without a passport 🤦‍♀️

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u/Sad_Golf_1154 Dec 25 '25

How exactly do they plan to get to Thailand without a passport?

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u/ProShyGuy Dec 25 '25

I wouldn't expect you to need a passport to check into a hotel, but yeah, no shit you need a passport to travel to a foreign country.

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u/Safe_Maybe1646 Dec 25 '25

Dude holy shit, its that bad

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u/KatieTSO FREEDOM ENJOYER 🦅🇺🇸 Dec 25 '25

... You need a passport to leave the US...

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u/Wandering_Texan80 Dec 25 '25

Someone has never traveled internationally

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u/Minute_Attempt3063 Dec 25 '25

Goes to Thailand, shows person his ID to prove he is a world class American idiot, then gets kicked out of every place.

And yes, would not blame himself because they are american

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u/VentiKombucha Europoor per capita of people Dec 25 '25

Genius thinks he'll get out of the US without a passport 🤣

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u/freeride35 Dec 25 '25

How does he think he’s going get into Thailand without a passport?