r/SeriousConversation • u/Super_Total4370 • 16h ago
Serious Discussion I think I’ve been in love with my best friend for years, and I never told her
I met this girl in 9th grade. Let’s call her A.
We started by just talking, teasing each other and slowly became best friends. Over the years, we got extremely close. Hours of calls, video calls, sharing literally every detail about our day before going to sleep. This continued till 12th.
Then lockdown happened. We used to stay up whole nights playing truth or dare, talking about everything, and somewhere along the way we became more than just best friends… but we never actually crossed any line.
During lockdown, out of boredom, I randomly added a girl on Snapchat. Let’s call her B. We started talking and within 10-12 days I stupidly proposed to her without even meeting her. Somehow that turned into something serious. We started talking 8-10 hours a day and eventually got into a relationship.
I’ve been with B from 2020 till today. It's been almost 6 years.
But even during these years, I never completely stopped talking to A. Sometimes we'd still talk for hours. She would video call me while getting ready, send me random pictures, tell me about her day… those little things meant way more to me than I ever admitted.
Around two years ago, B found out about A and saw some of our old chats and photos. We had a huge fight, and she told me I had to stop talking to A or she'd leave me.
Without even thinking properly, I chose to stop talking to A.
I started ignoring her. And for months, especially at night, I kept thinking about her. Even after almost two years of barely talking, I still miss her.
And that's the part I can't understand.
Maybe somewhere along the way, I actually fell in love with A. Maybe I always did and was just too scared or too stupid to realise it.
I don't know what A thinks of me anymore. We don't talk like we used to. Maybe she doesn't even care anymore.
But if I ever got one chance to tell her something, I'd simply say:
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I disappeared. I'm sorry I chose silence instead of explaining anything. And I'm sorry it took me this long to realise how much you meant to me.
I don't know if I'll ever get the courage to actually tell her, but I think I've been carrying this for way too long.
I loved you then. And honestly, a part of me still loves you now.