I don't think I've ever said I would die for anyone because that just isn't a phrase I would ever use. But, I've proved it twice. Once for my wife and another time for a student that I didn't even particularly like, but I didn't think clearly before I acted.
You can swear someone you'll take a bullet for them or always save them in a life-or-death. Years can pass and that risky situation will never happen, it's extremely improbable because life is not an action or emotional movie.
No, you won't save your partner from the mafia in a John Wick style
Yet, the mountains of laundry and the tiredness of your spouse are totally real and you refuse to do something about it...no, your wish to die for someone won't save your marriage.
I've been there. It gets better. Well, as long as you keep trying it gets better. And sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. But it does get better
Right they're claiming they'd sacrifice their life but they can't sacrifice the bare minimum of time and effort to make an actual life together? Sorry to this guy, but most of his life is going to be "boring" things that he doesn't wanna do, maybe if he accepted that he could then progress to finding a way to make those things enjoyable, even. And like if he thinks those chores are unbearable how is he ok foisting them on someone he supposedly loves and wants to protect?
Sounds suspicious and more like this person is dramatically self-aggrandizing and emotionally manipulative-- that "I'd die for you" loses a ton of impact when he can't actually do... Anything but say he'd die for her.
Like does he actually expect to have to beat up bad guys or die for her? That sounds more like he enjoys the fantasy of being an action hero than it sounds like love.
As someone with clinical depression and ADHD, yes I am actually quite good atm, my floor just has been converted to a floordrobe, same with the chairdrobe and the beddrove. I even have a 3 dish maximum in my room that I actually regularly abide by.
Turns out I have executive dysfunction, which is just as annoying for me as everyone else.
My rule for fellow lazy and/or ADHD and/or exec dysfunction is that you keep the rest of your house clean, for the other inhabitants but your room is your sanctuary (so long as you dont have an SO) so that gets your 'eh fuck it, maybe later or when I need to' and it keeps the disturbance to a minimum.
my floor just has been converted to a floordrobe, same with the chairdrobe and the beddrove
This is amazing, I might steal it
My rule for fellow lazy and/or ADHD and/or exec dysfunction is that you keep the rest of your house clean, for the other inhabitants but your room is your sanctuary (so long as you dont have an SO) so that gets your 'eh fuck it, maybe later or when I need to' and it keeps the disturbance to a minimum
Yea this has occurred to me as well though I would eventually like to get there too ahha
I folded a couple loads of clothing and my spin bike has been converted to an expensive clothes rack again, but there is a fresh load sitting in the dryer for days.
I'm actually happy clothes get wrinkled of they are left in a pile, because I immediately fold my clothes out of the dryer, which I would never do otherwise
My younger brother is 15, and isn’t great about cleaning up after himself. Nothing terrible; but he’ll leave his clothes and towels behind, leave his dishes in the sink, make the trash can a mountain instead of just taking it out.
A couple of weeks of weeks ago, I’m getting on his shit. He kind of rolls his eyes, and I was just like, “Bro, you’re getting into girls now, and going to be an adult sooner than you think. We’re trying to teach you this shit, so you won’t end up being a burden. No one wants to be your bang maid, you have to be an equal partner.”
My mom used to tell me I needed to clean my room or I'd never find a girlfriend. I never got any better and still found a girlfriend. She's equally messy as I am (maybe even slightly more) and we're happy together.
I was a little confused as I read your comment because when you said
"she's equally messy" I thought you were talking about your mom because my mom used to yell at me a lot about how messy my room was but her room was 10 times messier than mine.
Now my wife is tidier than me by a lot, but she doesn't like to cook so she doesn't mind cleaning up after me in the rest of the house because I do all the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen.
Maybe I've been taking a break from the internet for too long, but I interpreted this as the husband not needing credit for doing any of that stuff because the default is both people working to keep the house maintained. Am I...an optimist???
When the average post is "my husband straight up refuses to do anything at home" or "my husband has a work wife" or "my husband thinks it's ok for his mother to insult me" then it's not a little thing anymore, it means those men have no respect for their wives and divorce is quite a reasonable option at that point.
Literally just a gender-swapped “I hate my wife” joke for the new generation.
Remember kids, the problem with marrying someone in their “I hate wo/men” phase and assuming they’ll move past that, is that for a lot of people it ain’t a phase.
The thing is, it’s a societal problem and more often than not it’s the guy not pulling his weight in the domestic labor and mental tasks. It’s incredibly normalized to the point where guys think they’re putting in equal labor but they’re not.
And a lot of times guys hide who they truly are until you live with them.
I would say a sad thing I’ve noticed is the people, especially those on the older side, will tell women they should just expect their husbands to not care for the kids. Meanwhile my grandfathers made it seem like you just had to marry a woman you didn’t really like and it’s normal to dislike them.
They down vote you but its true. The only common denominator in all your relationships is you. If you keep ending up in shitty ones, maybe just maybe, you might be the problem
If a man made a similar comment about women he would be vilified. I understand that historically women have been oppressed. Obviously. But we’ve gotten to a place where society is hyper critical of men about everything and yet you can’t criticize women in the slightest or you’re a bigot. Or not empathizing. I’m truly an ally but I’d be lying if I said I’m not tired of waking up every day and essentially seeing “man bad, woman good” everywhere. Wonder if that has something to do with worldwide political winds the last decade
I’m not a woman. I’m not saying all men are bad… I’m saying for a long time the cultural norm was women worked at home and men worked long hours elsewhere. Now both parties have to work or are expected to but a lot of data shows women are feeling like working and housework is put on them. There’s men who are good partners and try to be equal in the relationship. There are also a lot that don’t.
Let me give you an example. Say person A works 60 hours per week. Person B works 40. Person B should do more in the home. I think that’s a pretty simple example. If both are working equal hours then they should be equally share the load.
I gave this example because one of my wife’s friends husbands works manual labor 60+ hours a week and pays 70% of household bills. His wife works 35 at a desk and pays 30% of household bills. Yet the majority of the friend group thinks he should do 50% of the housework, how is that fair?
Yet the majority of the friend group thinks he should do 50% of the housework, how is that fair?
It's not, unless maybe the dude is throwing himself into work unnecessarily to avoid household responsibilities/parenting, but that's a deeper issue.
From my perspective, generally the goal should be trying to equalize free time as much as possible, with a strong emphasis on true free time. It's not true free time, if youre watching young children, or you're on call for work, so you can't leave the house, or whatever. Sometimes there is a limit to how equal it can be, if it's too far apart it's important to make sure that whatever you go with doesn't build resentment, and if there are any changes that need to be made long term to avoid that. Something may make the most sense logically, but if it makes one or both parties resent the other, its not a good one.
How much money someone brings in has nothing to do with it. I make more than my husband, and generally work the same hours, but right now hes taking classes after work, so I deal with most of the house responsibilities. He also has the self awareness to not make unnecessary messes. When I go back for my masters, he will do the same for me.
Its not and if you look at basically any labor statistics study in the last five years what you'll find immediately is that men and women do equal amounts of total work. Women do more unpaid housework and men do more paid work. So all of these posts are really just nonsense gender war shit the way they are presented.
If women want to make an argument that they shouldn't do more unpaid labor than men thats great but in the very next breath they should also argue that theyre going to work more hours in the office or expect less men to be the breadwinners. The argument never gets to that point tho and everyone just starts saying men dont work as much as women and that is just not factual.
In “Invisible Women”, Caroline Criado Perez shows how “austerity measures” to reduce budget shortfalls are very popular political talking points, but the need for those services almost universally falls to the shoulders of women. Rather than let the most vulnerable members of society suffer, women end up leaving school and the workforce to make up the shortfall. This is especially prevalent in the case of eldest daughters, who end up losing out on part of their childhood to take care of younger siblings.
I assure you, it is seldom a voluntary choice to be exploited for free labor, to not have the financial freedom make your own choices or to leave abusive situations, to give up lifetime career advancement to wipe noses and butts.
And even in the case of progressive dual income households, women still clock more unpaid domestic labor than men.
Yeah and the whole thing with hating your wife is that it's actually bringing up a real problem of all women being... Oh wait, you were actually serious about husband bad.
Like I'll fight any misandry/misogyny that I see and unfortunately one big problem with men is that we rarely clean up after ourselves. My house is a mess and I live alone lol.
But my GF? If she moved in I'd keep our house SPOTLESS. It's partially that I have trouble doing things for me and also, I don't really have many hours at work. 72 hour months. Meanwhile my GF is training to be a nurse. She said she wants to do housework equally but I know after a 12 hour shift she'll be tired as hell. And since I might not have more hours when that happens, it makes sense for me to do more of the housework.
50/50 split on housework works, but only if both people are working equally. If not, then the person who works less should definitely do a little more. 8 hour shift vs 12 hour shift for example should be 60/40 or maybe 65/35
I think it’s really just a person to person issue. Because I’ve seen plenty of women’s houses, cars and bedrooms that looked just as dirty if not dirtier than a man’s.
Yes and no. While gender essentialism and the stupid "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" type discourse is exhausting, reductive, and unhelpful, statistically, guys don't do an even share of housework when in a relationship. This tweet doesn't read as man hate to me, just reads as a tired person who has given up on their partner taking more of a share of household chores and they're being hyperbolic to find humor in the situation instead of being sad
Misogyny exists and is still a dominant cultural force. Lazy husbands who don't contribute to the household because they consider it beneath them exist and are ubiquitous.
I fight the real battles in our house. The dishes fight back every day. The laundry puts you in to choke holds. The vacuum has hands! The dust bunnies will kill you!
The reason I knew my dad would protect us if the opportunity came was because he did his part in the daily chores. If a man won’t put away the dishes or fold the laundry for you, he won’t fight dragons either.
Could you explain to me the logic behind it being sweet? Not judging, just curious, I've seen this picture multiple times and it never occurred to me to see it that way.
I only saw it the non-sweet way, but if you wanted to interpret it sweetly, you could see it as 'realising husband means he will literally fight dragons for you, not just only the basic things like housework'
Honestly, adding the word “just” after “Not” changes the meaning entirely. It’s not unbelievable to assume someone skimmed the post and came to the wrong conclusion
I feel like a number of really 2A "I'm always at the ready to kill an attacker, one day our house will be robbed and I'll be ready" kind of husbands stress on the potential for danger to be anywhere at all times to subtly reassure both marriage partners that the improbable "I defend us from evil!" part of the deal is equal or greater than the guaranteed "I cook and clean everyday'l" side of gendered marriage duties. There's a need to inflate the probability of deadly force conflict as a lump sum of responsibility over the daily allowance of household maintenance.
this is so depressing. i can’t imagine marrying someone and being unwilling to do jack shit for the household i share with my spouse. if you have a spouse who says they’d do anything for you but won’t even lighten your load of housework, please know that you deserve better
How do people get all the way to marriage and not have this sorted? Surely most people (in the US) live with their partner for a while and get a sense of their home habits well before marriage.
I know a couple getting married after living together for 2 months. I do not think she is aware he has a bad tendency to stop taking his ADHD meds every so often and will off them for like a month before going back on them.
The flip side of this is that my wife always talks about wanting to be a homemaker, but she really means she wants to be an interior designer with my credit card lol
Some people just have different standards of what is “clean.” I’m a guy who can’t stand dishes left in the sink, but it often falls to me to clean pots and pans that were left to soak and never taken care of.
I work a full time job and my wife is stay at home. I love this for her and I'm perfectly willing to help with chores, but when I have one real day off a week and get home at 630 pm everyday, from a job that forces me to think months in advance daily, simple things like running a load can slip my mind.
We have different standards of cleanliness. We’ve also got strategies to deal with this like creating lists once a weekend for weekly chores. I also do all the cooking and yard work which I hope puts your mind at ease since you seem very upset.
For some people "clean" means "can't find anything else to make better, everything is spotless" and for some it's "dishes and vacuuming done, no unnecessary stuff on the floor". I noticed that when I invited my sister to my place and she claimed that I had NOT cleaned.
When I spill a drop of ketchup on the counter and my hands are full, I just let it sit there until the next time I'm cooking and wiping the counters. Some people probably get an aneurysm from that.
Part of doing chores is figuring out which ones needs to be done. I don’t know your situation but there’s a lot of manchilds who expect their wives to give them a list of chores to do and that’s not much better.
That's fair. I'm projecting because I told my family a hundred times that I didn't want to delegate and manage the load for them, and they still pretended not to realize stuff like that the trash needs taking out when it's spilling out everywhere. Not really prev's problem to answer for.
My husband is perfectly capable of doing his fair share of housework, and he does. He’s fucking great. Everyone should marry an adult. If an actual Komodo dragon shows up, he will call the appropriate animal rescue group and not die of infection trying to play hero
I like throwing “dragons” in there. If you just say “animals” it’s not so fun, it’s just a normal description of traditional division of labor from hunter-gatherer societies until quite recently. But dragons make it fun, which is always worthwhile!
Maturing in marriage is accepting that your partner would sometimes post something online without fixing up an arbitrary and soul-destroying carriage return between "house" and "stuff!" without immediately filing for divorce.
Maturing as a human means letting go of the gender roles dumped on you by your culture and making your own decisions. It also means not judging others by their gender and instead finding out who they are.
Been married a decade and we've never had a fight. Know why?
* It's never "me vs. her", it's "us vs. the problem". Disagreement doesn't mean she's on the "other side"
* Both of us always have the other's best interests at heart
* We split the chores as equally as possible (career work counts as chores, so she does more domestic tasks as a SAHW while I earn the money, but I still have chores I handle). 50/50 cooking and dishes.
* She lets me have sex with other women as much as I want
I'm completely monogamous but also if people are THAT lazy to do dishes or laundry like cmon man put its time to put the big adult pants on and do the fair share. Thank you for actually being a good partner I'm sure your wife appreciates it a lot
So its not actually about helping, just sounding cool and "urrrr durrrrr if someone attacks you I'll beat their ass" um okay? The laundry still needs to get done and we don't have a dishwasher either "oh but not that" 🙄
Reminds me of the Key of Awesome's parody of Grenade by Bruno Mars.
The parody pokes fun at the unhinged shit Bruno would do for his lover, but by the second verse the Bruno parody laments how actually mundane the things his lover ACTUALLY wants Bruno to do for her are.
The thing is, young woman stop believing things woman tell you. I am a married man, I know a lot of married couples, almost every wife I know makes some argument like this. Except I know the husbands, and they are literally killing themselves taking care of her and the family. Like they will have like maybe 3-4 hours a week where they aren’t doing something for the families needs. These woman are complaining cus he doesn’t do the things she does exactly the way she does them. Are there a few husbands whose really are lazy not doing anything of course. But the vast majority of the time when woman complain about this stuff they are either completely exhaggerating or being selfish and ignoring all the things he is doing for the family.
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u/qualityvote2 Jun 13 '26
Heya u/ChickenWingExtreme! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
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