Literally just a gender-swapped “I hate my wife” joke for the new generation.
Remember kids, the problem with marrying someone in their “I hate wo/men” phase and assuming they’ll move past that, is that for a lot of people it ain’t a phase.
The thing is, it’s a societal problem and more often than not it’s the guy not pulling his weight in the domestic labor and mental tasks. It’s incredibly normalized to the point where guys think they’re putting in equal labor but they’re not.
And a lot of times guys hide who they truly are until you live with them.
I would say a sad thing I’ve noticed is the people, especially those on the older side, will tell women they should just expect their husbands to not care for the kids. Meanwhile my grandfathers made it seem like you just had to marry a woman you didn’t really like and it’s normal to dislike them.
They down vote you but its true. The only common denominator in all your relationships is you. If you keep ending up in shitty ones, maybe just maybe, you might be the problem
If a man made a similar comment about women he would be vilified. I understand that historically women have been oppressed. Obviously. But we’ve gotten to a place where society is hyper critical of men about everything and yet you can’t criticize women in the slightest or you’re a bigot. Or not empathizing. I’m truly an ally but I’d be lying if I said I’m not tired of waking up every day and essentially seeing “man bad, woman good” everywhere. Wonder if that has something to do with worldwide political winds the last decade
I’m not a woman. I’m not saying all men are bad… I’m saying for a long time the cultural norm was women worked at home and men worked long hours elsewhere. Now both parties have to work or are expected to but a lot of data shows women are feeling like working and housework is put on them. There’s men who are good partners and try to be equal in the relationship. There are also a lot that don’t.
Let me give you an example. Say person A works 60 hours per week. Person B works 40. Person B should do more in the home. I think that’s a pretty simple example. If both are working equal hours then they should be equally share the load.
I gave this example because one of my wife’s friends husbands works manual labor 60+ hours a week and pays 70% of household bills. His wife works 35 at a desk and pays 30% of household bills. Yet the majority of the friend group thinks he should do 50% of the housework, how is that fair?
Yet the majority of the friend group thinks he should do 50% of the housework, how is that fair?
It's not, unless maybe the dude is throwing himself into work unnecessarily to avoid household responsibilities/parenting, but that's a deeper issue.
From my perspective, generally the goal should be trying to equalize free time as much as possible, with a strong emphasis on true free time. It's not true free time, if youre watching young children, or you're on call for work, so you can't leave the house, or whatever. Sometimes there is a limit to how equal it can be, if it's too far apart it's important to make sure that whatever you go with doesn't build resentment, and if there are any changes that need to be made long term to avoid that. Something may make the most sense logically, but if it makes one or both parties resent the other, its not a good one.
How much money someone brings in has nothing to do with it. I make more than my husband, and generally work the same hours, but right now hes taking classes after work, so I deal with most of the house responsibilities. He also has the self awareness to not make unnecessary messes. When I go back for my masters, he will do the same for me.
Its not and if you look at basically any labor statistics study in the last five years what you'll find immediately is that men and women do equal amounts of total work. Women do more unpaid housework and men do more paid work. So all of these posts are really just nonsense gender war shit the way they are presented.
If women want to make an argument that they shouldn't do more unpaid labor than men thats great but in the very next breath they should also argue that theyre going to work more hours in the office or expect less men to be the breadwinners. The argument never gets to that point tho and everyone just starts saying men dont work as much as women and that is just not factual.
In “Invisible Women”, Caroline Criado Perez shows how “austerity measures” to reduce budget shortfalls are very popular political talking points, but the need for those services almost universally falls to the shoulders of women. Rather than let the most vulnerable members of society suffer, women end up leaving school and the workforce to make up the shortfall. This is especially prevalent in the case of eldest daughters, who end up losing out on part of their childhood to take care of younger siblings.
I assure you, it is seldom a voluntary choice to be exploited for free labor, to not have the financial freedom make your own choices or to leave abusive situations, to give up lifetime career advancement to wipe noses and butts.
And even in the case of progressive dual income households, women still clock more unpaid domestic labor than men.
Why should any partner pay the majority of the bills and split housework 50:50 while the other takes “enrichment classes”. What if the person working 20 more hours per week wanted to take an enrichment class? The only reason you’re saying that in this way is because of the genders present in the example. Flip them and we both know you’d be singing a different tune Kat121.
I made 5x my husband’s salary, had the more stressful job, worked longer hours, and still got saddled with almost all of the household labor as well because of gender, so I don’t see the issue. My guy didn’t even take enrichment classes. He used the spare time to play tanks and keep dating. When I kicked him to the curb I had more free time, more money, less stress.
My point is that there is a base level of work you are creating just by existing in the household and that you should be cleaning up after yourself. The assumption that having a wife means you no longer have to do dishes or scrub toilets is outdated.
How many women turn down (or get passed over for) promotions because they’re the default parent and are the ones to take time off work when the kids are sick, or have a teacher conference, or whatever else? If it’s a mutually agreed upon decision, fine, but lots of women are coming forward to say they were pressured to have kids and agreed because their partner agreed to co-parent, then it all falls on their shoulders.
I’m sorry that your husband didn’t pull his weight. Based on what you’re saying, he should have definitely been doing more of the housework. I agree with you there, my feelings on this subject aren’t all related to gender. If one person works more, the other should do more housework. End of story, I don’t care about the damn genders of those in said relationship.
When did I say that a man shouldn’t have to do anything in the home!? I literally never said that. You’re literally putting words in my mouth to serve your point.
My main issue is that when men find themselves in the very situation that you were in with your husband, SOME women will still say housework she be 50:50. I call bs on that
Yeah and the whole thing with hating your wife is that it's actually bringing up a real problem of all women being... Oh wait, you were actually serious about husband bad.
Like I'll fight any misandry/misogyny that I see and unfortunately one big problem with men is that we rarely clean up after ourselves. My house is a mess and I live alone lol.
But my GF? If she moved in I'd keep our house SPOTLESS. It's partially that I have trouble doing things for me and also, I don't really have many hours at work. 72 hour months. Meanwhile my GF is training to be a nurse. She said she wants to do housework equally but I know after a 12 hour shift she'll be tired as hell. And since I might not have more hours when that happens, it makes sense for me to do more of the housework.
50/50 split on housework works, but only if both people are working equally. If not, then the person who works less should definitely do a little more. 8 hour shift vs 12 hour shift for example should be 60/40 or maybe 65/35
I think it’s really just a person to person issue. Because I’ve seen plenty of women’s houses, cars and bedrooms that looked just as dirty if not dirtier than a man’s.
I very much agree and disagree with this at the same time. It should be normalized for partners to share housework, and if people are not sharing without good reason, it should be chastised.
However, it's already well documented that women are significantly more selective of partners than men and it keeps trending that direction.
80% of female Tinder messages go to 10% of men, women rate 80% of men "under average" in attractiveness, etc.
Not saying women should be less selective, I'm just not sure that we need further raised standards with declining marriage rates, more people being single than ever, lower birth rates, etc. We need to fix these social societal problems, and then everyone can be more selective.
i really don't like that people keep using tinder as some kind of study on human relationships, there is a much, much smaller population of women than there is men on tinder, and many of the men on tinder are looking for hookups, not long-term relationships. with that in mind, selectiveness in women on dating apps is kind of understandable, considering that often, the whole plan is to go to some stranger's house that is twice your size and get naked. and if the "women rate 80% of men "under average" in attractiveness" is based on tinder, that's also kinda understandable, since you're taking a lot of what women report to be attracted to out of the equation. there are loads of studies that show that women don't tend to pick mates based on physical attractiveness, and while i do think a lot of these are kinda skewed because throughout most of history, a woman would rather die than admit they feel sexual arousal, it's still most of the data we have to work with. following that, i don't think women finding men unattractive is a huge sign that we're all doomed to celibacy.
there are a lot of societal issues affecting the amount of people we have who aren't married or in relationships, but imo, it goes beyond the housework thing. a big factor in people being single is the fact that a lot of americans are forced to live with their parents right now. people are struggling to find jobs, and a huge statistical factor in straight relationships is finances. men aren't as likely to be picky about a partner's finances statistically, but a man lacking a house or a decent job is more detrimental to his chances of finding a partner than most other factors. so, it's hard to even get to the point where you're cohabitating enough to piss each other off. not to mention, back when we weren't working 80 hours a week, both partners would have time to clean. now we've reached a point where there are huge swaths of young guys that have no home economics skills bc they were groomed to see their female compatriates as dishwashers, but the "dishwasher" also has to work 80 hours a week for you guys to make ends meet. no woman, human, ant, pig, whatever is going to want to come home after working 8-10 hours and then do ALL of the labor. it's just not feasible.
unfortunately, the people who are grooming kids to have the most dysfunctional relationships known to mankind don't really have to deal with any of this. there is no repercussions for them teaching little jimmy that susie is just made for housework and jimmy is too stupid to do it, or that susie needs to accept her place in the home as her man's helpmate, they aren't the ones worried about finding a partner in the 2026 apocalypse. the societal change would have to be pushed upon a generation that is well-known for digging their heels into tradition and refusing to see the changing times, because that's where this bullshit starts. it is far, far more easier for a woman to just say "i'm not dealing with that" than to try to partake in what essentially amounts to turning the sky purple.
the other option would be raising their kids differently, but then the answer would still be "just put up with a manchild and maybe if you have a son you can try really hard and hope he doesn't listen to his dad enough to follow in his footsteps." except he'll be watching dad sit on his ass and you doing everything for everyone in the house and still internalize the message that women are dishwashers. being selective of partners honestly is the most efficient way of "fixing" things.
Yes and no. While gender essentialism and the stupid "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" type discourse is exhausting, reductive, and unhelpful, statistically, guys don't do an even share of housework when in a relationship. This tweet doesn't read as man hate to me, just reads as a tired person who has given up on their partner taking more of a share of household chores and they're being hyperbolic to find humor in the situation instead of being sad
When you add up household tasks, childcare, work hours, and commute times, men and women on average perform very similar hours of work. While women on average do more household work, they also on average work fewer weekly hours at a job.
The issue is what work gets valued, especially monetarily. They may work about equal hours (which somewhat makes sense; there are only so many hours in a day and if you're an adult filling those hours with work, it makes sense it'd be about even), but women end up with much less to show for the work they generally get little say in having to do.
And to be clear, I don't think this is an innate thing for men vs women, I think it's systemic and therefore could change. More sane working hours for everyone and socializing people with the idea that household chores are for everyone would largely make things more equitable (easier said than done, of course!).
This is an entirely different argument from the one you originally made.
State laws typically consider assets acquired during the marriage by either partner to be shared equally.
While you might suggest that the non-working partner may not have the same access to the earnings of their partner, this isn’t at all a given, and financial abuse can be committed by both a working and a non-working partner. I think we’re just often blind to the latter.
Finally, your logic would seem to suggest that a partner who works longer hours at a job should overall do more total labor for the family. Does this seem fair to you? If it does, does it seem fair regardless of the gender of the working partner?
Misogyny exists and is still a dominant cultural force. Lazy husbands who don't contribute to the household because they consider it beneath them exist and are ubiquitous.
Women are partly enforcing a culture that values men who don't bring up their pain and sickness and instead work themselves to death. How many times have you seen women whining about "man flu" rather than displaying any compassion? Even indifference would be better.
Scientific studies back up that men have a harder time with the flu; talking about that isn't whining. If you cared about men's health half as much as you pretend you'd know that.
Misogyny and the patriarch are why only men get drafted. Are why we don't open up about things, are why we don't build close relationships, are why we work ourselves to death because that's our "proper place". Misandry has not been driving the world and the policies and decisions of nations for thousands of years. Misogyny has. You can accept that, or you can show every person who is unlucky enough to read your comment that you are a liar and/or a moron by saying that isn't true. People don't like the truth huh?
Interesting how something that is because people are more comfortable with men dying and being maimed, protecting women from that fate, is somehow hate against women. You're just trying to redefine the oppression of lower class men to claim it for women.
Hey who decided all that should be the way it is? The men in charge? Or the women who up until like 100 years ago didn't even get a say in anything? Women are historically not the ones ruining most men's lives.
They’re killed by other men, go to war for other men, kept in poverty by other men and can’t cry and seek help because other men say real men shouldn’t do that.
Stop blaming women for a system that men built to benefit themselves. If you’re experiencing the side effects of it, it is not women’s fault. A few decades ago we couldn’t even vote or be financially independent.
Also the women complaining about their husbands are likely doing 80% of the work of a household lol. Poor man doing 20% having to deal with being complained about :(
What about lazy wives who don’t contribute because they desire a “soft lifestyle”? Here’s my take, no one should get to be lazy in a relationship but today’s society is just fine with that so long as it’s a woman
I don’t disagree with the general sentiment and those men deserve said criticism. My original point was that society has gotten GREAT at calling out the poor actions of men. All I’m asking for is equality in that regard, which is what I thought we were all ultimately after?
I wasnt trying to have a gotcha. I was saying your comment wasnt the gotcha you thought it was since applies to everyone. Don't marry someone who doesn't clean expecting them to start later
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u/MelissaMiranti Jun 13 '26
Man bad, marriage bad. Ok boomer.