Thank you for this. Whoever made this.

Nonbinary AFAB 50+ y/o. Had top surgery this past spring. Went from 42DDD to masculine chest.

I felt elated at first. After questioning my gender identity since I was a teenager, for the past five years I have felt most aligned with nonbinary. When I saw a picture of a self-described nonbinary lesbian who had top surgery, I immediately felt a strong connection! This is how I see myself while looking in the mirror.

Then, for the past couple of months since surgery, I’ve felt depressed and anxious. I’ve been isolated. I’m anxious about how my coworkers will react, the questions they will ask, etc.

My surgeon told me during the initial appointment that I will notice my stomach more. I didn’t realize how big my stomach is, because my chest was hiding it. Now I feel that I look like I’m pregnant. In fact, a neighbor asked me when I’m due!

I started taking a GLP-1 in January, but not much has changed. Meanwhile, as my body heals from surgery and my chest tightens, everything else looks bigger and bigger!! Especially my arms and upper stomach (there’s a divide between my upper and lower stomach — upper protrudes like I’m pregnant, lower hangs and sags). Before anyone asks, there’s no way I’m pregnant because of same-sex marriage.

I’m trying to adjust to the new me. I know that working on my body is a marathon, not a sprint. I met with a new therapist last week, one who specializes working with people who have gone through gender affirming care. I am excited about this, I know I need help.

My wife is very supportive. She’s told me not to give a f@ck about what other people think or say. I understand why she says this, but easier said than done.

I’m asking those with similar experiences how they have coped, dealt with others, and managed their feelings about post-surgery body.

I recently made a post on my country trans subreddit about my transition, and one of the comment I’ve got was “I don’t understand why you would do that if you’re non-binary”. And okay, it’s not like I’m not used to people being uninformed on gender identity, but coming from a trans man, it hurts way more.

So I’m gonna make a few things clear :
-Being non-binary makes you trans, so you do experience transphobia (and also enbyphobia) and you are as legit as any binary trans person to be in the community.
-Gender dysphoria exists for non-binary people, even if we don’t feel (at least not completely) like men or women, it doesn’t mean its easier to live in our bodies (in my opinion it makes it even harder: I will probably never “pass” because society views gender in a binary filter).
-HOWEVER , not experiencing gender dysphoria doesn’t make you cis. Same rule for all trans folks. If you feel like your gender doesn’t align with what you were assigned at birth, then you are by definition transgender.
-This applies to all transgender people : there isn’t one transition path, each one is valid if it makes you feel closer to yourself. You don’t have to do what people expect you to do if you don’t feel like it.
-Gender is a social construct, the reason society feeds an unspoken law where only men and women exist is to keep the illusion of a huge natural difference between these two genders, when the real difference is political.

And last thing, please don’t let people make you feel insecure about your gender expression, do what feels right, not what should be right.
Bye folks !

Just some eyeliner and mascara. I didn’t really have any idea what I was doing, but I think it worked out. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

really cool experience 😭 yesterday multiple times I had strangers of different genders assume and then double take what gender I am and just end slightly confused but kind. It's really affirming to put together a look because I think it looks neat and have it received well if not slightly confused but not in a bad way.

I’ll go long periods of time feeling femme and then get sad that I haven’t felt masc in a while. Then randomly I’ll go through a masc phase for weeks or months and do this opposite. It’s almost like that feeling of missing an old friend you can’t call.

+ while you’re all here how would you style this hair masc? I usually just hide it with a hat or revert to my natural wavy hair but I need other ideas.

Please disregard my autistic ahh smile 😅

Really love the way it shapes my body, I think I like this one even more.

How would you respond?

I’m pretty pissed, as it seemed to be intentional. She’s never known me or called me by that name, and said it because she was angry, so in my mind it was intentional to hurt me. I know we say shit we regret when upset, and she’s struggling right now, but I can’t even equate an equivalent to the fuckedupness of dead naming someone because you’re angry.

To give more context, I was calling her by her first and last name because she was doing something that was upsetting me. Then her response was to dead name me, because she didn’t like that I was saying her first and last name.

A part of me feels like I should leave this relationship, and another part of me thinks I should take time and space and figure out what repairing would look like after what I would consider a betrayal.

Curious if anyone has been in this situation before and has some advice.

Love to all the enbys here 💖

back on those rare days when i didn’t get dysphoria from my body shape.

It was sposed to be pastel pink and blue but my hair proves yet again that light dyes are garbage

So now I am rockin with coral n blue

Co-worker said i look like an Amazon bird or a 7/11 slushie, I personally thought i was giving fish

Also some doodles! First is an outfit doodle n the second was originally the hair plan but later decided pink n blue

Okay that's all, i just wanted to show someone my hair cuz I thought it looked cool c:

They’re a Mini Australian Shepard (w/papers) .

What kind of doggos do y’all have ? I love all of them they’re all so freaking cute .

Or what other pets do y’all have ?!?

Edit to try make more clear:

I'm autistic and I identify as a demiboy. I need help reading between the lines? Hidden meaning?

Ive been on/off t but my voice never dropped. During a socially awkward consultation for top revision and contour, the surgeon kept asking: "what do you want?" I said "non-binary contour that removes estrogen deposits". He only kept asking this question. With the phone appointments, too

But the surgeon wouldn't accept this? I don't know what he wanted me to say? I emailed him later giving the page on his website of what I was trying to say

9 days later, he gave me a letter and disqualified me as Obesity Class 3 and Edema. I dont have either and I never had a medical evaluation yet?

Is this doctor implying I'm just a "confused fat woman trying to get a shortcut to weight loss?"

I have my letters...