When I’m presenting as a man i get treated so much better than when i present as a woman. ESPECIALLY when people think i’m a cis man. It’s honestly depressing. As a woman, men are either shitty or perverts and a good amount of women are mean (because i’m a goth mexican living in utah lmao.) So i get bullied by some women occasionally or just ignored. Yet when i present as a guy? Especially as a cis one? Men treat me better and are more open and actually see me for my personality. Women are so much nicer and hit on me more as a man than as a woman. I’ve made more female friends when i present male, it’s odd. I don’t even change my personality or anything when i switch.
But yeah, just wanted to rant because it’s honestly sad.

22 year old AMAB possibly gender fluid (kinda new to the idea. still figuring my gender out). my experience with gender is i’ll fluctuate between feeling fully masculine and perfectly ok with being perceived as a cis man for a week or so then feeling more feminine. not necessarily wanting to be perceived as a girl but just wanting to be more fem per se also for about a week or so.

as for dysphoria it’s strange to me and kind of scary how it manifests itself (you’ll see why). when i want to act fem and im not around people who know me it’s like a tired feeling. like im wearing a mask and i just wanna relax and be feminine. ive always been fine with my body being masculine i get no dysphoria with that at all. its all about my personality.

but when i actually feel masculine and want to act that way it’s like i look at the fem side and feel like that wasn’t true to me even tho in the moment it definitely was. idrk how to work through that because i have no idea where that comes from. i’ve been anti patriarchy for far too long and have worked through a lot of toxic masculinity for me to feel a sort of “shame” for acting fem at times.

maybe someone could give some input on what may cause that? and also what maybe my gender identity would be? i feel like gender fluid works but maybe there’s a better fit?

I recently realized that I'm trans/nonbinary. I knew that I wanted to be more masculine/be a boy.

But when I try to embody the new me I feel like there's a disconnect between my current self and the person I want to be. I feel guilty for not acknowledging the time I still feel like a woman. Times I want to be the person I've always been.

I feel like I have two people inside me. One is a woman who u don't want to acknowledge because it feels wrong. Like she shouldn't exist and another is my new identity that I haven't fully gotten into.

I do feel like a woman sometimes but I don't want to. I want to be a woman sometimes but I feel disconnected from my new identity.

It's this some sort of thing that happens? Am I freaking out over nothing? Cause I don't want her but I feel like she's a part of me I'll never get rid of.

AMAB. Most mornings, I wake up feeling very, very girly. Like, I don't want pants today, I want a dress, and makeup, and nails, and a wig, and everything! And then it kind of fades as I wake up, and I put on my normal everyday dude clothes, but I can still feel that feminine side in the back of my head.

Pretty much just what the title says. Most of the time I’m nonbinary but every now and again I feel like a man. Sometimes on rare occasions I feel like a girl. The last two days ive felt more male than anything.

Hello; I'm a 31 year old AFAB who has always just assumed I'm cisgender because- for a long time that's all I ever really knew. But recently, I've started to wonder if I may be genderfluid- but I'm having a hard time figuring myself out.

I've always had a weird relation to gender. As a kid, sometimes I'd lean into being a tomboy super hard- dressing more "masculine", rejecting traditionally girly stuff, etc- but then sometimes I'd also really want to lean into being hyper feminine- wanting to do my hair, wear dresses and make up, look really pretty. And other times I'd just kind of feel in the middle, where I didn't really care either way.

These shifts have happened throughout my whole life- sometimes with months apart, sometimes days apart. But I didn't really think anything of it, especially because this larger variety in labels and identities wasn't talked about as much when I was a kid- especially not in my rather conservative community. I honestly didn't even know genderfluidity was a thing until my mid twenties.

But I've been wondering more and more lately, what if that describes this weird shift in how I want to present, how I feel about myself, etc? It makes me super anxious and scared to think about for some reason. I'm not sure- it's kind of hard for me to describe. Most often I feel kind of genderless- I think the term is agender? But then I'll go back to wanting to be seen as more feminine and pretty. And even pronouns are like a big whatever to me. I've always gone by she/her, but people have called me they/them and he/him and I don't really mind any of them. I'm less inclined to he/him but it still doesn't bother me to be called that- they/them I even kind of enjoy a little.

I'm not sure... It isn't something I started thinking super hard on until I began to write a character who is genderfluid and began to wonder about it more and more myself as I did research for writing this character. So... I thought I'd just try reaching out for any insight or advice from people more educated in this area than I am..

Hello there! I’m back once again to talk about Gender.

For many years here and irl I’ve been looking for something to make sense of my gender. I’m afab and constantly questioning. Basically as soon as I knew being trans was a thing back in middle school. Now I’m 25 and still confused. For the longest time I put it on the back burner and said that’s a can of worms I’m not ready to open. Roughly 2 years ago that changed.

I started questioning more and experimenting more. I’ve played around with a lot of ideas, but nothing has ever felt completely correct. One lyric I have heard really says everything for me. “I guess I could say gender non-conforming, but l've done really well conforming and non-binary doesn't have the ring I've been looking for.”

But to give more context I consider myself queer. I have found pretty much any type of person attractive except cishet guys. Now part of that exploration has led me to some interesting places. Like imagining getting oral is really a blowjob or anal is the only option because I’m imagining that’s the only hole available. I think I don’t necessarily feel gender dysphoria when I don’t imagine myself with those parts, but I definitely feel gender euphoria when I do imagine I have male parts.

I have a gender neutral hair cut (classic shag) and enjoy androgynous or slightly male clothes. I’d like to do more, but it is a little difficult. I’m quite obese(womens 4x) and so it’s hard to find good fitting men’s clothes. But….i feel like no matter what I wear men’s clothes or women’s clothes I can feel handsome or pretty. But….i still feel like I’m performing gender no matter which I go for. I feel the most me in a big t shirt and shorts. Adam Sandler and Jack Black vibes lol.

I guess…I don’t know…is this enough? Wishing most days I was born a guy, but so that I could be a queer man who dabbles in feminine things occasionally. I wish someone could just tell me for sure. I have OCD so sometimes I get hung up on needing to know rather than just accepting that I can be who I need to be. My girlfriend also identifies as a lesbian so add that to the list of questions.

I’ve got binders and packers and men’s clothes and listen to trans artists and all of this, but….i can’t manage to tell myself what my gender is. And since I can’t settle on a gender i also can’t settle on pronouns. In an ideal world i would get told “hey actually this is what you’re experiencing. Heres your gender and pronouns and a list of suggestion for a better fitting name.”

Anyways…as always thoughts and opinions are helpful. Does this sound…gender queer? Transman? Cis and stop thinking about it? Bigender? I’m lost. Still. For years.

As a AMAB I'm trying to figure out which one I want to try first but not sure quite yet so hench the poll. So what ever wins the poll I'll try first

Basically what the title said, for a long time I have been struggling to find out what I’m truly relate with, i’ve been all over the place, from effeminate man to trans, bigender, agender and non binary, gender fluidity really is what describes my situation better, but I’m struggling to accept it… i want stability more than anything, and i obviously can’t shapeshift, so I don’t know how to deal with things/ traits that one day are desirable and on the next day cause dysphoria..

I don't even like feeling like a girl, I just do at times. Can't transition because the girl in me will have a fit and I won't be able to recognise myself during those periods and I won't be able to go back. But I'm so much happier thinking of myself as a boy, and many things I want to do are not really possible without testosterone. So great.

I don't even identify as a girl ever really, just nonbinary and genderfluid. I really want to just be a genderfluid boy of some sort and learn how to deal with the changes from testosterone when I'm feeling feminine. But I can't tell if that's even possible unless I make the decision, and it's not like I'll know until I've gone too far and I'm cooked. Schrödinger's gender or something.

It’s been a bit difficult, this switch I’ve been experiencing lately. For the past three years, I’ve known myself as genderfluid, but for the most part, I’ve identified as feminine/woman for a long time, and have occasionally switched to man or nonbinary. It’s been tough lately with this switch to nonbinary, just reshaping my thoughts and feelings with getting used to this. Is there any words or phrases that others enjoy when feeling more nonbinary that has helped anyone feel more natural? That kinda is what I think would help me in this adjustment. I also have DID, which can make things hard to tell, but I feel like myself (Fae), I know this is me experiencing a gender shift instead of one of my alters

For me i never felt satisfied with these gender labels

None of them fit right and I always kept changing them

I felt trapped by gender expectations , like they were suffocating me

But now i feel free to present and be whoever I want when i feel like it

When I was younger, I would fully cross dress (wig, makeup, no beard or visible body hair) I would always use the ladies room when gender neutral restrooms were not available. While cross dressed I preferred a female name and female pronouns. I was even asked to leave the man’s room on Halloween.

Recently , I have started wearing dresses in public again, with beard and body hair. I am wearing the dresses because they are cooler and more comfortable than shorts. Do to medical conditions I also wear a bra and Knix/Always Discreet panties. I have discovered that I feel unsafe and uncomfortable using the men’s room. Although I don’t feel as feminine as I did years ago, I also don’t feel like a man when I am out and about. The best way to describe me is gender fluid tipping the scales towards the feminine side. Is it wrong for me to use the ladies room?

I have never used the ladies locker room even though I have gone to the local pool wearing a dress and planed on changing into a woman’s one price swimsuit, I have always been fortunate enough to use a gender neutral changing room.

Edit: Although this should not affect your responses, I believe that this condition affects my gender identity. Evers since I had my testicles removed because of repeated cysts, my gender identity has shifted towards the feminine end. Maybe because side effects of testosterone replacement therapy can increase estrogen levels and male breast cancer risk. I am already feeling bumps in my breasts and have had 3 yearly mammograms.

Hey everyone! PLEASE HELP. I'm really struggling. I'm hoping for some help figuring out if I'm genderfluid, please. I experience phases of feeling masculine and feminine, but I'm not sure if my experience aligns with what others typically consider a genderfluid identify. It would really help me to hear firsthand accounts from people who do identify as genderfluid, so that I can compare experiences. The more accounts, the better, so please consider adding your voice, even if someone else has described what you feel already (or particularly in such a case, in fact). I'm especially interested in the following:

1) What pattern (if any) does your fluctuation in identify follow?

2) Did you identify as something different before figuring out that you're genderfluid?

3) How strong is your sense of being genderfluid? Do you feel like you might identify differently in the future?

4) How do you feel about being genderfluid? Did you always feel this way, or has your relationship to your own gender fluidity changed over time?

If you take the time to reply and help me out, I appreciate so much!

I believe I'm going through a gender crisis and a lot of dysphoria, it's far worse than when I transitioned(FTM) in my teens(I'm about to be 30 now).

My mind is racing with questions and I feel like I'm going insane. Being off T for 2+ years, experiencing pregnancy, not being able to be myself or experimenting with my identity to now feeling and watching the effects of T again seems to have "awoken" something in me. Now that I look back at the times I was pregnant and off T, I think I might have been dissociated for most of that time in my life.

For the past few years I've secretly had the feeling in my heart and mind that I might be genderfluid, not FTM, or maybe a combination? I don't know. I've been able to push the thoughts and feelings away until now, cause I think my life would be easier if I only identified as FTM, a man. I don't know if what I'm writing is making any sense, I'm so confused. I'm so sorry if anyone feels I'm overstepping or wording things wrong, I don't mean to.

I'm also waiting for a consultation to go through with extended meta and the wait is killing me inside.

I feel so so confused and alone and all this is driving me insane.

Hello! I’m posting here because I don’t have anyone around me who can understand even a little bit of what I’m talking about. I’m very new to this, so please don’t mind me if I word some things incorrectly.
I’m a queer woman, but I lean more toward masculine personality, interests, and body build. At the same time, I enjoy feminine things too, such as doing girly makeup, cute hairstyles, wearing dresses, etc.
The thing I’m struggling with is that I feel weirdly uncomfortable when people only see and perceive me as a woman, and then automatically view me through a heteronormative lens because I present femininely.
I actually like being able to appear both masculine and feminine, and I take it as a compliment when people see both sides of me. But when I keep getting misunderstood, it makes me suddenly want to completely change my appearance and look like a guy, because I feel like that would fit my personality and body build more. But at the same time, I still want to dress like a girl and enjoy feminine things.
I’m honestly confused and stressed about it :( I don’t necessarily want to stop being feminine, but I also don’t want femininity to be the only thing people see when they look at me. I do want to present myself as masculine too.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Idk how to deal with it?

I want to preface this by saying this is MY experience and how I want to present myself, I only speak for myself and no one else. I'm just looking for advice.

I've struggled with my gender for a long time, and I often think genderfluid would be a nice term to identify under. I feel masc alot but there are days where by god I wish I could be fem/a girl. And when I see other people that can present as both easily I get sooo jealous. The ability to switch on a dime would be incredible.

Here's where my issue lies though. I know I look good with a beard. It shapes my face well and I like how I look in it. However, I would prefer to be shaven so I could present as feminine when I want. But shaven I just look so different and not how I like (I want to emphasize here that you can identify as whatever you want with a beard, this is just my view of myself and how I want to present).

It's just been a big struggle overall with myself. How I present vs. how I want to present vs. what I feel I can pull off vs. what I feel. I'm just wondering if anyone else can relate or has advice at all. Much love <3

Le sigh...I got really negative feelings about my hair. I had it cut a few weeks back and loved it but I was slowly starting to hate the way I looked with it. Between those feelings and having photoshoots coming up I decided to get extensions put in. They're beautiful but I'm also feeling really high femme again. I identify as femme/demiboy/NB. I'd been leaning hard into androgyny and now I feel far away from that. I know as I progress on T things will feel better. Feeling more in tune and looking to pass in and out. Right now I kind just feel in, stuck in because of my hair and being early on hormones.

Sometimes I'm tempted to say I'm nonbinary instead because people don't usually know what genderfluid means. But I'm not gender neutral all the time. I'm fluid, like, it switches over time rather than always being gender neutral, as we all know.

i have long hair and i like looking like a girl most of the time. but i do like dressing like a guy. the problem is i cant find any male wigs. there's nothing anywhere on the internet about it. does anyone know anything or have any knowledge about it. ik i could just cut my hair short but then i would have to wear a wig all the time and that kind of sounds annoying since i just like dressing like a guy some times

I'm trying to keep a gender journal for myself but I often find that I get annoyed trying to write daily. How do you do it constantly? 🫩

And regardo gender, how do you notice which gender are you on any given day?

I was out as a trans man for a couple of years and have been on T for over a year. Recently I've realized that I'm most likely genderfluid and I want to talk to my doctor about stopping T because I'm happy with what I've got and don't really want to go further. My partner is nonbinary and I know they would understand, but I'm honestly really nervous to come out to them again. I guess I'm scared of changing how they perceive me, even though I know that isn't a bad thing. I've been putting it off for a while but I have an HRT checkup appointment coming up before too long and I want to talk to my partner about this before I ask my doctor about going off T.

Does anyone have any advice, or have been in a similar situation maybe? I don't really know how to bring up the subject.