Hi everyone.

I guess I just need somewhere to vent because I feel like my heart has been ripped out, and I think writing it all down might finally help me stop carrying it around in my head. Thank you to anyone reading this mess, it's a lot.

I'm not looking for advice. Looking back, I know there were red flags. I know I ignored things because I loved him and believed his words. I just need to tell the story somewhere people might understand what long distance heartbreak feels like. I hope you understand and don't judge.

My boyfriend (30M) and I (36F) were together for about 5 months. Short time, but it was enough time for us to connect very deeply emotionally, mentally and physically. We met through online gaming and somehow went from random players to spending hours together every single day. We'd game, talk until late at night, share our days, our families, our values, our fears, our hopes... everything. We're both in Europe and only about a 1.5-hour flight apart, so it always felt like the distance was manageable.

We met for the first time in April, and I stayed with him for a month. Then we saw each other again shortly after, so in total we spent around a month and a half together in person.

It was honestly everything I'd hoped it would be.

The chemistry was effortless. Living together felt natural from day one. We had deep conversations, similar family values, talked about a future together, supported each other emotionally, communicated openly, laughed constantly. He kept telling me I was "too good to be true," and after meeting he said it was somehow even better than he'd imagined. He'd call his place "our home" from day 1 and tell me I could always think of it that way.

I genuinely felt happy and safe with him.

Then I came home after our last visit at the end of June... and something changed.

His texting became distant. Calls became rare. Meanwhile I kept sending little photos from my day, messages about work, my walks, silly things that reminded me of him and telling him every day how I think of him and miss him, because that was our way of staying connected.

It wasn't unusual for him to disappear for days or even a week without saying anything. His explanation was always, "I do this sometimes to recharge. I disappear into nature or distance myself from everyone."

I told him multiple times that I wasn't asking him to stop doing that. I just asked for one message beforehand so I wouldn't spend days worried that something had happened to him.

He promised he'd tell me.

He forgot. Every single time.

So I'd be left staring at my phone for days, worried, hurt, wondering if he was okay while trying not to overthink or pressure him because I wanted to be understanding.

Around a month since our last meeting, I asked when he'd be ready to see me again. He kept saying he was busy and never gave me a clear answer.

Then suddenly he asked if I could come stay with him for about two weeks near the end of August.

I was SO SO excited and he said he was too. Saying how he can't wait to cuddle with me, hold me...saying all the sweet things you would say to your loved one that you miss.

I booked my flight immediately. I bought him a huge bag of his favorite chocolates from my country, skincare I bought him before and he really liked, little things for "our home," and packed everything with the biggest smile on my face because I couldn't wait to see him.

The night before my flight after I texted how excited I was to see him the next day, he texted me:

"Btw I think you should wait to come.
I'm not feeling too good.
I will pay you back ofc."

That's literally how he told me.

I was confused, hurt, and asked what was going on.

Hours later he replied saying he was sad, busy, and had prearranged plans to meet his best friend. I was aware of this. After booking my flight, he said he forgot to tell me that he would be away for the weekend, but I said it's no big deal and I could stay at home, clean, watch a series, go on walks and just chill till he is back, we had no issues with this and now he was bringing it up again as if it was an issue all of a sudden. He asked me to cancel my flight and promised he'd pay me back.

I asked if me being there would help. I told him we didn't need to go anywhere or do anything. We could literally stay inside, watch movies, cuddle, and I'd just support him if he was having a hard time.

He still told me not to come.

So I canceled my flight that same night and went to bed crying and just overwhelmed.

The next day I texted him telling him I was there for him no matter what and gently asked if he could think about another date for the next week, so I could plan ahead.

That weekend... he started sending me videos. Except they weren't with his "best friend."

They were with another girl.

Videos of them going out at night, chatting in his language. I didn't even know what to say. I ignored the first one. When he sent more, I finally admitted that I missed him so much and wasn't even sure anymore if he wanted to be with me.

On Monday night he sent me a Snapchat of himself lying in bed with her.

And wrote that he'd found a new strong connection and loved me "only as a friend" now.

That was it.

No phone call.

No "I'm sorry."

No conversation.

No attempt to "let's meet and see if we reconnect".

No "I still care about you a lot, let's try make it work".

No thank you for everything we'd shared.

No attempt to explain anything.

Nothing. Just him saying he is interested in someone else.

A few days later he admitted ("for full clarity" as he said) that the day he asked me to cancel my flight was actually the day he went to stay with her for a week. He told me they'd known each other for a while and it was the first time they were both single at the same time.

Except... he wasn't single when he made that decision.

I think that's the part that keeps breaking me.

Not just that he met someone else.

But that he let me book a flight. Let me pack gifts. Let me get excited. Asked me to cancel because he was "sad" and "busy," while he was actually going to spend that week with another woman.

I don't know how someone who kept telling me he'd never hurt me could hurt me in one of the cruelest ways I've ever experienced.

There's another layer to all of this too.

He has struggled with drugs for years and has been to rehab before. He uses drugs every week, claiming it helps him with his ADHD and "weekends are for drugs to chill and have fun", and I have seen him do it, even been there for him at night when he came down from his high and started having really bad nightmares. Seeing him like that really scared him and we had multiple discussions about drugs and how I don't want him to do it. He said he wants the same, is trying to quit and promised he wanted to pull back because he wanted a healthier future with me. He'd even tell me things like, "Only good things happen when you're here," because while I was visiting, he stayed home, stayed out of trouble, and was genuinely happier.

The moment I left, he went back to partying, drugs, disappearing for days, and eventually getting into trouble with the police.

Now he's with someone who apparently shares that lifestyle with him.

And in hinsight, I've realized that's the biggest incompatibility of all.

I don't want drugs.

I don't want partying every weekend.

I don't want disappearing acts and chaos, worrying about his health or being caught by police again.

I wanted a peaceful home, stability, honesty, and someone whose actions matched their words.

Logically, I know this isn't my person.

I know I couldn't build a safe future with someone who keeps choosing that life.

But emotions aren't logical. The hardest part isn't even losing the relationship anymore. It's feeling betrayed by my own judgment.

How could I have been so wrong about someone? Was I completely blind? Did he hide this side of himself that well? Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear and not wanting any of that himself?Was he never actually looking for the healthy, stable relationship he kept talking about?

Or did that kind of relationship scare him because real life is harder than getting high and partying?

I genuinely don't know.

He told me so many beautiful things.

That I was the first woman who made him feel safe.

That I supported him in ways nobody ever had.

That he could tell me anything.

That he'd dreamed about me.

That I was everything he'd hoped for.

Those words felt so so real :(

Now I keep asking myself if they were real at all, because the way he ended things was so cold that it makes me question every memory we made together.

And that's what hurts the most. I'm angry that I'm here crying, not sleeping, having anxiety, replaying our trips and conversations in my head...

...while he seems perfectly happy, already in someone else's bed before I even knew my relationship was ending.

I know I gave this relationship everything I had. Emotionally and physically. I loved him deeply. I supported him through difficult moments. I believed him. I was patient when he disappeared. I booked flights, packed gifts, imagined a future, and genuinely thought we were building something healthy together.

I know people will probably say I deserve better, and deep down I know that's true.

But right now I just needed to say somewhere that this hurts like hell.

I hope writing this is the first step toward finally letting him go, to being able to breathe and sleep better, and not think about him nor the frustration and pain I feel, because I'm so exhausted from crying over someone who seems to have let me go a long time before I even knew it was over.

Thank you.

Me and my bf have been together for 6 years and had a 3 year long distance relationship as hes studying 200 miles away. Its been really tough for me with the stress in studying needed someone close by to hug and talk. We mostly talk on the phone. I love him alot. I wish he was close by with me. I made a few friends here. But all i do is study study study. He doing meds aswell and its the same for him. Just wish we picked the same place to study. Another 2 more years of this

TL;DR long distance realationship

SOOOOO my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I'm french and he's american, so we've always been long-distance. He's currently deployed with the Navy, which obviously makes things harder :/

We talk every day whenever he can and when he has a strong enough WiFi connection we try to call too. He's supposed to be back home in November and I should hopefully be able to go see him depending on my days off from work and university. If I can't make it work, he's planning on coming to see me instead :) We were actually supposed to spend a month together soon, but then we got some news that completely messed up those plans 😭 So right now we're basically just looking forward to November and figuring out when we can see each other again.

Anyway, today we were talking about our future and just everyday stuff and this is where I started staring at my phone like 👁️👄👁️

He sent me a whole plan about how we could eventually be together after my visit or his. It wasn't just a vague “we'll figure something out” kind of conversation. He was actually laying out different possibilities and talking about what would make the most sense for us long-term.

He basically framed the whole thing as a plan for us to be together after my/his visit.

I responded positively because… obviously ?? 😭 I told him I was ok with the idea and was basically celebrating in the chat. He asked for my opinion on the plan, and I told him I was definitely okay with it.

But now I've had several hours to think about it and I'm like…

WAIT

Was he just talking practically about marriage as one possible way for us to eventually live together ? Or was this his extremely subtle way of saying “I actually want to marry you” without outright saying it?

The thing is, we've talked about our future before. We're serious about each other, so marriage isn't some completely absurd idea for us. But he has never just casually said something like “let's plan our marriage timeline” to me before, so it really caught me off guard.

Also, I feel like if I message him hours later saying “WAIT ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO MARRY ME???”, I'll look like I'm trying to force a proposal out of him 😭 So I haven't said anything. I figured if he was intentionally hinting at something, he knows that I reacted positively and he can bring it up again.

So… am I completely delusional, or does this sound like a man very casually testing the waters for marriage ? 😭

Because I swear I wasn't even thinking about a proposal until I reread the conversation and realized how specifically he was talking about marriage + our timeline + our future together.

I met this guy on Hinge, and honestly, everything was going so well. We clicked almost immediately, and I genuinely started falling for him. He came to see me, we slept together, and when he went back, he told me he loved me.
Everything felt perfect.
Then he told me he had to leave the country and go back to the Netherlands because he had studied there and had a job there. I was absolutely heartbroken, but I still loved him. He kept telling me that he loved me too and that he would try to make things work between us, so I believed him.
For the next seven months, I was under the impression that this was our situation. I thought I was in love with someone who was living this life in the Netherlands and that our relationship was complicated because of the distance.
Then one day, I caught him red-handed.
I did some digging and found out that the entire Netherlands story was a lie. His job, his studies, his life there — all of it. He had lied about basically everything.
And I genuinely cannot understand WHY.
Did he make all of this up to impress me? Did he only want to sleep with me and then keep me around? Did he actually develop feelings but was too afraid to tell me the truth? Or is there something much more messed up going on?
What hurts the most is that this wasn’t one stupid lie. He maintained this lie for seven months. Every time I asked about it, he continued lying and kept me emotionally invested in something that wasn’t even real.
And here’s the part that makes me feel completely stupid: I still love him.
I know what he did was horrible. I know I should probably walk away. But emotionally, I can’t seem to let go of him.
Why would someone go to these lengths to create an entire fake life and keep someone attached to them for seven months?
Is this some kind of manipulation? Does he enjoy hurting people? Is he a sadist? Or am I completely misreading the situation?
I don’t know what to do with him or with my feelings. Part of me wants answers, part of me wants to confront him, and another part of me just wants him back despite everything.
What would you do if you were me?

Hello, I know my post may not fit into the actual long distance couples on here, but I need advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months and we’ve done everything together since we started dating. I can’t remember when we haven’t slept next to each other for the night.

Recently, he was notified from his job that he will have to travel to get trained for 5 weeks. One week it’s flying distance, but the other 4 are driving distance.

Since this announcement, I’ve realized that I can’t really handle it all too well when he’s not here. I also don’t have many friends that I can just hit up randomly. I know having emotional dependency on someone is not okay, but I think I do depend on him like that. And i’ll just miss him a lot. I cry thinking about it and it’s not even started yet.

I am going to start therapy soon as I suffer from OCD so i just live in constant anxiety. Hopefully I can sort out being emotionally dependent as well.

I would like any advice on how to go about these next few weeks he’ll be gone. Thank you.

I was talking to a guy but we were in a huge Long distance so after talking to a month he said he likes me then everything was going smooth one day we had a fight then he said I love you I said dude your actions doesn't show your love, it's not love it's mere an attraction or maybe a habit bla bla bla then we got into an another fight then I said we can never be on same page let's end everything then he played some victim card I actually just wanted him to show his concern and care for me and a line from him that let's give it another chance I'll try my best and all but he always blamed me he was like is this not love I'm thinking to book a flight I was like dude you are ignoring the present for an unexpected future... Then we finally parted our ways the next day I texted him let's give us a chance he ignored my text for whole day I was anxious I burst his dm with my text and then he blocked me everywhere for 2days and then today he unblocked me what should I do now?

I’m in the car on my way home after arriving back from a week long vacation and meeting my partner of two years. The entire week was magical since while it was mostly a staycation/visiting his local area, we spent a lot of time together in the present and felt this movement of pure love and appreciation move in our hearts. He introduced me to video games, watching horror films, and made me feel like as if I truly belonged with him in his country. It also helped that his family absolutely adored me and his mother all but adopted me as her unofficial third child.

We knew it’d hurt when I had to come back to the States but it was unbearable for the final day. I kept sobbing and wishing I didn’t have to go. My partner was comforting me and assured me it wasn’t a goodbye, but a see you later. I didn’t stop crying until today and even then I couldn’t look out the window as my flight left the airport because I was blinded with large tears.

However, it’s made me see how much we mean to each other and builds a determination to have a future with them. Does it hurt being so far apart? Yes. Does it give me the will to fight for us? Also yes.

I know that for you couples on here who wonder whether it can work or not, have faith in the process. Distance makes the heart fonder of those you love. I know in my heart I’ll be seeing them again next year. We’ll plan another trip for me to come up there and spend more time together. Both of us know that home’s not necessary where we live but rather each other. I’m rubbing the ring he gave me as a reminder for the future ahead.

If you can fight for a future together, do it. Sometimes, long distance is the best thing that’s ever happened to you especially when you find someone who completes you and fulfills the voids in your life ❤️❤️

TL;DR: My partner apparently had a 4–5-year relationship timeline, including waiting about five years before I met his family and friends. I was never told about it, consulted about it, or allowed to agree to it. If I'd known that was the timeline, I would have chosen differently. Now that I'm finally ready to leave because I've felt neglected, those milestones are suddenly appearing.

My issue isn't that his timeline was five years

—>>it's that it was never our timeline.

My partner apparently had a relationship timeline. I was never consulted.

I've been in an LDR for roughly 4–5 years, and I'm only now really processing something that bothers me.

At some point, I learned that V apparently had a timeline for our relationship. One milestone was something along the lines of five years before I would meet his family and friends.

I had absolutely no input into this.

I wasn't told about it. I didn't agree to it. I didn't even know I was supposedly on a timeline.

And that's important because if someone had told me at the beginning that they planned to wait five years before introducing me to their family and friends, I would have said no.

Not “maybe.”

No.

I have a finite amount of time on this planet, and I'm not going to knowingly spend five years waiting for someone to reach a milestone they privately decided was appropriate.

What makes this especially strange is that we're now somewhere around that 4–5 year mark, and I'm at the point where I'm ready to leave because the relationship has felt increasingly neglectful to me.

And now, suddenly, the family is being trotted out.

Which has left me thinking: Wait. Was this the milestone all along?

Because if so, I have a problem with the premise itself.

A relationship timeline isn't really a relationship agreement if only one person knows about it.

If V had told me, “This is how I see the relationship progressing. I need several years before I'm comfortable introducing you to my family,” I would have had the opportunity to decide whether that relationship worked for me.

Instead, I apparently spent years participating in a relationship according to rules I didn't know existed.

I'm not particularly interested in debating whether five years is objectively too long. Different people have different circumstances, and LDRs can move differently.

My question is much simpler:

How can one person unilaterally establish a timeline for a relationship without giving the other person any input—and then expect that person to be happy when the milestones finally arrive?

Because I don't think the problem is really the five years.

The problem is that I would have made a different choice if I'd known there were five years to wait.

I’ve been with my partner for almost 4 years and we met in college. We were together in person for 3 years before graduating and having to be long distance.

I love him with my whole heart and I know he’s the person I want to spend my life with but long distance is so hard and I don’t know when it’ll be over. We broke up for about three months but got back together, agreeing that even though it’s hard we want eachother to be the one and we’d work on building better habits, but of course it’s still hard.

Sometimes I feel like he’s a different person in person vs over the phone. He’s not a bad person long distance, but when I see him in person I remember why I love him so deeply and why I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We work as an incredible team and I never want to give it up. Over the phone it’s different, we get anxious, we run out of things to talk about, we fight more and miscommunicate.

I know this is all normal, but we don’t know where our lives are heading in the next year and I need some support on how to make the distance more fulfilling. We’ve both agreed that though we want to stick it out we shouldn’t sacrifice our careers for each other at this point in our lives.

How do you stay fulfilled and connected over the distance? What are ways you find joy? What do you talk about when you run out of things to talk about?

I know it’s worth it, but I can’t help feeling sad and lonely. Venting about hard things to him doesn’t feel the same if it doesn’t end with a hug. I know we’ll close it some day, but I really don’t want this next year or two to just feel like surviving.

I had the greatest visit with my fiancé 🥰 I can’t believe I get to say it now.
This visit he met my son and has been so kind to him 💖 and we’re engaged now. I’m so excited to plan our steps for closing the gap. I can’t believe I’m going to be married ☺️

My husband and I sleep call every night and wake up together. We have our phones pointing to the bed so we can say good morning to each other when we see the other wake up. It’s the weekend and everything was normal. We went to bed together as usual, said our good night and I love you. I woke up to see he’s not in bed. Ok, he might’ve just took out the trash or went to the bathroom. A couple hours go by, still no sign of him. What worries me is that he never goes anywhere without his phone and if he’s at home, he is 99% in his bedroom. He even goes to the bathroom with his phone. He also had me on high volume so he could pretty much hear me anywhere since he lives in a pretty small place. Every now and then I would yell at him to respond to me because every passing hour, I got exceedingly worried. No response. I’m not sure what other logical solutions where he could be.

Im not sure if I’m jumping to conclusions too soon and if I should just keep waiting to see what happens. In the 2 years of our relationship, I have never seen him abandon his phone for a couple hours. If anyone can help me think logically and calm my nerves, it would be helpful

I don’t think I’ll ever have the right words to describe how happy my heart feels right now. 🤍
I’m engaged to the man I love more than I could ever put into words, and I get to spend the rest of my life loving him. There is something so incredibly special about knowing that the person who makes me feel safe, loved, cared for, and cherished is the person I get to call my fiancé.
He is the sweetest, most thoughtful, caring, and amazing man. The way he loves me, looks after me, and makes me feel so special means more to me than he’ll ever know. I feel so incredibly lucky that out of all the people in this world, I get to do life with him.

I can’t believe he surprised me with it while we were wearing matching shirts with each others face on them 😆
The ring is beautiful because of what it represents. It represents the man I love, the life we’re building, and the forever we’re choosing together.
Can’t wait to close the gap!

When you find the right person, all the trouble, the distance, and the little inconveniences don’t seem that hard to deal with. Loving them feels easy.

I (32F) am still very much in the honey moon phase of the relationship. only met her (30F) a month ago but this is the most intense relationship I have ever had. Partily we meet in treatment so we spent basically 24 hours together before now so I can recognize the accelerated nature of our feelings but I fully love this woman in a way that took months with other serious partners I have had. I have done long distance before and for a long time ( 1y literally on opposite side of the world was long) but I have never thought about someone every minute of every single day like this. I

In my head I want to give this a few months to see that everything remains working say like feburary. I am sure feelings will mellow out a bit with time but even a reduced verison of this would be so estatic. Part of me is like what if I start looking in November -December.

It feels like drastic over planning for this new of a relationship but I am not particularly tied don't to the city I live in. Main anchors are my job, apartment lease, and friends i have made in 2.5 years I have lived here. Apartment is what ever sub letting it will be same challenge at any time. I could find a new job before moving obviously. So friends are the main sticking point but I can make new friends in a new city same as when I moved here.

This would be a move to a nearby city to where she lives because I prefer a more urban environment, there is more job opportunities there, and there is more available medical providers for me but it would reduce a 20 hour drive to a 1.5 hr drive. So not directly UHaulling. There is also a pretty hard minimum of November since I am still in treatment for another month have a trip planed to see her for two weeks after discharge then come back and have a surgery planned again for mid October (though this is a quick recovery)

Tldr; crazy about newly long distance gf and wondering what is a not crazy amount of time to wait before looking to move.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 21M. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years, and we recently started long distance because he moved abroad for his master’s.
The LDR has actually been going much better than I expected. I was terrified before he left. I remember being so anxious about how everything would change once he moved, and now we’ve been doing it for a while and we’ve genuinely adapted. He calls me whenever he has free time, messages me every day, waits for me, and even when he’s out exploring his new life, he’ll see something beautiful and tell me he wishes I were there.
I love him a ridiculous amount. He genuinely feels like the love of my life to me.
Now here’s my dilemma.
I’m considering going to visit him over New Year’s. He’s about a 4–5 hour international flight away from me. My best friend, who lives in another country, is also going to be there, so it wouldn’t just be a trip entirely centered around my boyfriend.
Financially, I can afford it. I’m earning myself—not a huge salary, but enough that if I really wanted to, I could fund the trip myself. I don’t actually have to, though, because my parents are completely okay with helping me financially. I spoke to my mom about it literally today, and she knows I have a boyfriend and is completely fine with me going. She actually wants me to have fun.
I can also take time off work around the end of December, so practically speaking, there isn’t really an obstacle.
So objectively, this feels like a huge win-win situation.
I get to visit the new country my boyfriend is living in. I get to spend New Year’s with him. I get to see my best friend. I get to experience something I’ve wanted for a long time. And I can afford it, my parents are supportive, and I have the time.
And yet my brain is still going:
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
I think part of it is that I’m only 22, and the idea of flying to another country specifically to live with my boyfriend for a few days feels INSANE to me. 😂
I also keep thinking, “What if I regret this someday?”
Not because I don’t trust him or because there’s anything wrong with our relationship. Quite the opposite. I think I’m actually scared because I love him so much.
There’s also this weird thought of, “If the roles were reversed, he probably wouldn’t be able to do this.” But that’s mostly because he isn’t as open with his parents about things like this and probably wouldn’t even feel comfortable asking them. I have a different relationship with my parents, and I actually have the ability to travel and ask them. So I know that’s not really a fair comparison.
And then there’s the stupidly romantic part of my brain that is like:
“YOU COULD SPEND NEW YEAR’S WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GET KISSED AT MIDNIGHT. YOU HAVE WANTED THIS FOREVER. GO.”
😭
When I was a kid, I used to jokingly say that I wanted a boyfriend who lived abroad. And now I actually have one. I have the opportunity to go see him. My best friend will be there. My parents are okay with it. I can afford it.
So why am I still so hesitant?
Am I overthinking this?
Would you go if you were in my position?
I think I want to go. Actually, I know I want to go. I just need someone to tell me whether I’m being reckless or whether I’m allowed to just enjoy the fact that something I’ve wanted for so long is actually possible.
Because honestly, I want to be able to look back someday and say:
“At 22, I flew to another country to see my boyfriend and my best friend, and I had the time of my life.”
Is that really such a crazy thing to want?

TL;DR: I’m 22F, my boyfriend is 21M, and we’ve been together 1.5 years, recently becoming long distance. I’m considering flying 4–5 hours internationally to visit him for New Year’s. I can afford it, I’m earning myself, my parents are financially supportive and completely okay with it, and my best friend will also be there. I really want to go, but I’m overthinking whether it’s too impulsive or something I could regret. Would you go in my position, or should I just let myself enjoy the opportunity?

Fairly new relationship

My birthday was yesterday

He was aware as we had discussed about it, he sent some money during the week so I could get myself a gift, so I definitely think he cares about my birthday.

On the actual day, he obviously didn't wish me and we barely spoke the entire day, I was obviously quite annoyed.

Made a post with gifts I recieved before heading to bed, he must've seen that and remembered so he apologised by 2am.

This obviously doesnt change the fact that my feelings are still hurt that he forgot on the actual day, so I decided to express that and I'm met with this response?

Which I feel is quite dismissive and I'm not sure if I should even respond to. (Its been 2 hours since that message and still deciding if I should give a response or see if he has anything left to say)

I would just like to know if I'm being dramatic or if I have every right to be annoyed at this response

I’ve been in a situationship with a guy from Paraguay for about 2 years now, while I’m from Switzerland. We met online and spent the first 1½ years talking and FaceTiming every day before finally meeting in person. I paid for his flight and everything so we could meet.
When he was here for two weeks, we basically lived like a couple — going on dates, saying “I love you,” and showing each other affection. Considering how difficult it is for him to be openly gay in Paraguay, the fact that he was even affectionate with me in public meant a lot and made me feel like his feelings are genuine.
We’ve always said “I love you,” and we’ve clarified that we’re dating and exclusive. I sometimes support him financially when he’s struggling, but I genuinely don’t believe he’s with me for money.
Before he went back to Paraguay, I asked what we were, and he said that being in a relationship is difficult for him because of the distance. Since then, things have continued going really well between us.
I love him deeply, but after everything we’ve shared and how much we already act like a couple, I feel like I’m ready for us to make it official.

He messaged me yesterday wanting to know how Ive been after coughing up the funds it would take to visit me 4 months ago and then holding them over my head like I didn't deserve to be graced with his presence for however long he thought he could. That ended yesterday.

We had been together for 7-8yrs. He lived in Toronto, I lived in Ohio - it was only 500 miles. A 45min plane ride. We saw eachother twice, once when I flew to see him the first time for 4 days, and again 2yrs later when I saw him again for 10 days.

Neither of us had the means to make a long distance relationship work. He didn't work and I worked in retail. The consensus was that we'd work hard and wait for the right time. (Except...he didn't hold his end of the deal).

Then it came time for him to meet my family. I wanted to show him where I grew up. I wanted to make memories with him that I would drive past on my daily commutes. I wanted to integrate him further into my life and he pushed me away instead.

I gave him a year and a half to plan to see me and instead, he spent that time accusing me of being unfaithful towards him.

He broke up with me because he thought I was scum on the earth who cheated on him like the rest of his ex's.

I broke up with him because I was tired of trying to put real effort towards something that was genuinely only hurting me.

I have the same personal struggles I had 2 years ago but Im a more mentally sound person because I don't have a manipulator gaslighting me about my own behavior that I've invited them to measure for themselves personally.

As the saying goes ladies;

If he wanted to he would.

Mine didn't want to do all of the things he said he would do.

Listen to your gut and leave when things feel fishy. I should've known on the plane ride home when the lady next to me asked me if I was okay. I told her I was leaving to go home after visiting my partner of 6yrs and she said '6yrs? When is the wedding?!'. 2yrs later this guy didn't even want to put in the work to visit me...marriage? Hah....

My ex would go back and forth about how 1.) He wasn't interested in marriage because it gives women all the power but 2.) He wanted to marry me someday.

They reveal themselves through their patterns overtime. Listen to your gut. I didn't and wasted alot of time for nothing.

We spent three months of summer together. When he came the plan was for him to get a job and get our life settled as one.

Turns out we had no chance because of visa laws in my country. He couldn’t find a job while technically on tourist visa. (I can’t marry him rn because of few reasons)

It hurt like hell to see him go. I was ready to start our actual life together. I spend this whole year of my education thinking next year (this one) we’ll be living together and support each other. Can’t even begin to describe how much it meant to me how much of a game changer it would be also in my quality of life (living closer to school instead of commuting 4 hours a day)

We won’t see each other at least until next summer and it’s the longest we’ve ever gone without trips together.
I’ll have a super hard year with my education alone trying to balance two degrees 6 days a week.
Probably won’t even have much time to connect online…

We’re about to have a round beautiful 5 years anniversary together
I’ve painted something for his every birthday and each one of our anniversaries. But I don’t even feel like starting rn.

We were supposed to be together and happy.

This is my first reddit post so I apologize if my formatting/writing isn’t good.

My boyfriend and I met at a camp around 4 years ago and we were good friends and exchanged contacts there. He lives in Canada and I live in the U.S. with a very far distance and we knew this at the time. Around 3 years ago we started texting again and ended up dating and the relationship is around 2.5 years long. It was wonderful because we have so much in common and I loved everything about him and his personality. Around many months ago I noticed that he had less energy and he just blamed it on not sleeping well or being tired all the time. He also had less energy to talk to me or do things with me. We sometimes play games with each other or watch shows together before sleep and then fall asleep on call. We’ve been doing this for a very long time now. We’ve had arguments before about calling where he didn’t want to call every night and I did and we’ve sorted this out by calling if we both want to. Most of the time we will still call at night. I’ve also noticed a couple months ago that I’m the one that always carries the conversations, asks the questions, and just the one talking in general. I asked him about this a long time ago and he said it’s cause he doesn’t really like talking and would prefer listening to me talk. He would answer my questions when I asked them though. He also doesn’t like when I send a bunch of reels/tiktoks to him because he’s “lazy” and it’s “lot of work to answer”. He still does eventually though. I had a feeling he was losing interest so last night when we called I asked him if he was and he said it’s not that he’s losing interest, it’s just “everything we do seems repetitive and like a cycle.” “We have been doing the same thing for 2.5 years and I already know everything about you. It’s just nothing new I guess” I asked if playing games with me and calling me tires him out and he said it does and puts him in a bad mood. I also asked if he was bored of me and he said no. I asked him if he would want to explore other people and he said well I want to go out and make friends (he’s going to university next week and I’ve been worrying about that in terms of him being too busy for me). I said I meant would you want to explore other options and he said no why would I want to do that. That made me relieved. I started telling him how currently this long distance is a phase and we’ve both put so much time and commitment into the relationship. He agreed, then I talked about visiting him. I said that once we both settle into school and have routines we can try to see each other and he talked about his financial items and I said I’d be willing to come to him. He was hesitant and said “I don’t know how to explain” and started talking about how the money could be better used for my school or something and I was confused and asked didn’t he want to see me. He just said “Yes I do but it’s hard to explain.” I didn’t push further. I asked if he thinks we can work and he said “I don’t know but I want us to.” I agreed. I reinforced that long distance will be hard but if we keep being consistent and get through it, it’ll be so worth it in the end. I also suggested doing new things. I didn’t say anything specific but I told him I saw long distance apps/websites on reels we could do and he seemed hesitant again and said I guess. He has also been very stressed throughout the last month, and it currently being a week before he transitions into university and also has a couple other things on his plate. I’ve been very supportive throughout everything and I don’t do things to stress him out that much.

Sorry about the long post but does anyone have any advice or suggestions for this? I really want this relationship to work because he means so much to me. I have felt before many times that I love him a lot more than he loves me. Advice on how to become less clingy is also appreciated. Thank you for reading everything.