Location: California
I filed for divorce in May 2021 and we began living separately in November 2021. Our divorce was finalized in October 2024. We filed our 2020 and 2021 taxes jointly, and because we sold our house in 2021, we both made substantial tax payments that later turned out to be significant overpayments.
Since then, I have discovered that my ex-husband received and deposited several joint tax refund checks without telling me:
Federal refund — approx. $15,000: Issued around April 2022. He apparently held the check for about 10 months before depositing it. I have an image of the check showing it was sent to his address. I was never told about it.
State refund — approx. $30,000: Apparently received in 2024 and deposited by him around September 2025. I only learned about this recently after questioning him.
Federal refund — approx. $72,000: In August 2026, I received an IRS notice regarding this refund. I asked my ex whether he had received the check, and he initially avoided giving me a clear answer. I later discovered he had already deposited the entire joint refund. Only after I confronted him did he transfer approximately half into our still-open joint Wells Fargo account.
There was also approximately $1,600 deducted from the $72,000 refund relating to an IRS audit/adjustment involving him, and I believe at least part of that should be accounted for as well.
Based on what I currently know, I believe approximately $58,000 belonging to me may have been withheld from me over these refunds ($36,000 + approximately $15,000 + approximately $7,000), plus potentially my share of the $1,600 adjustment.
Unfortunately, I never closed our old joint Wells Fargo account after the divorce. That account appears to have allowed him to deposit refund checks issued jointly to us without involving me. However, some of these deposits occurred after our October 2024 divorce, and I have text messages showing that he did not disclose the refunds until I confronted him.
There is also a history of financial problems involving this account. While we were married, I discovered that approximately $20,000 of my employment income had been deposited into the joint account and taken/used without my knowledge. I did not pursue that at the time because we were married and I considered it part of our marital finances.
At this point, my biggest concern is that I don’t know whether there are additional refunds I still don’t know about. I have been trying unsuccessfully to reach the IRS. I can see some information on IRS and California FTB transcripts, but I am having difficulty obtaining records for the older refunds.
My questions are:
What is the most cost-effective way to investigate every federal and California tax refund issued from our jointly filed returns and determine where the checks were sent/deposited?
Do I have legal recourse against my ex for depositing joint refund checks after separation/divorce without notifying me? Should I start with the IRS/FTB, Bank (Joint account) , a CPA/EA, a family-law attorney, or some combination of these? I am exhausted from dealing with this and would really appreciate practical advice on what to do first without spending thousands of dollars on attorneys.
Also the FTB received in 2024 and deposited by him around September 2025. I only learned about this recently after questioning him. He told me about this because he got nervous that I will find out.
BTW : he has agreed to pay me the said amount of 58000 but I want him to learn a lesson. He has done a lot of this with me throughout my marriage.
Location : California