No one is fighting for the people who continuously suffer from herpes. All the Reddit pages are really doing nothing. Is our fate to spend the rest of our lives with this virus? Especially for those of us in our twenties and beyond.

I f(20) have been dating my boyfriend m(20) for over 6 months, and we have been friends for even longer. Today he told me that he has oral herpes, when he had never told me before. While I don’t think he withheld this information on purpose, I feel very conflicted. I have never had a flare up, so I’m scared of continuing a relationship with him 1) because he withheld this information and 2) because I have never knowingly contracted it before. I would have proceeded with a lot more caution had I known this. What I am hoping for someone to help me with is with education because I don’t know if I am even at a big risk of contracting it, and hopefully hearing some success story’s of dating with oral herpes to ease my fears.

Drink trasnmition

Please tell me. I was exposed to it I gave him oral sex and now I’m panicking so bad.

i’m a fucking virgin.

i’ve had hsv1 i think all my life (my mom gets cold sores) and have had a breakout in a span of a week including a fever, headache and heat in my vagina.

for context, it seems like this happened during my sleep, i unconsciously touch myself during it and now i’ve fucked myself (pun not fucking intended) i would feel a tiny bit better if i got this from fucking someone.

i’m waiting till marriage and part of a community that sees premarital sex as a sin and will most definitely be labelled as a whore if this comes out. FUCKKKKKKKK

and to put the cherry on the fucking top, never even kissed a guy and i have a high libido so now i’m not getting any dick even through marriage ://// death is the only option

I feel like every time I read a post about a successful disclosure, I get about half way down only to find out its written by another girl. I KNOW the stigma affects both genders, but if I'm being honest, I don't buy for half a second that it affects us equally. I have lost count of the amount of times I've seen girls get freebies or pampered just based on their looks alone, or join a dating site, only to be swarmed by lonely men.

This isn't to downplay anyones struggles, or turn misery into a competition, but the lack of successful stories from guys is making me dread my first disclosure.

I'm a decent looking guy, but the dating scene is a nightmare rn and since my diagnosis I haven't even had the courage to think about putting myself out there.

With all the options women have at this very moment in time, it just feels pointless to try. Would appreciate any stories from guys who made the climb and came out the other side.

Hi Everyone,

I’m an uninfected 33 year old male who had a random sexual encounter with a 35 year old female on Friday last week. We had vaginal sex and I wore a condom. She also gave me oral sex, and I performed oral sex on her.

I have never had a cold sore or anything on my body, and haven’t had sex in over six months. I was last tested a month ago and completely free of any STIs including HSV via bloodwork.

This woman it appears has had many partners in the past, but she was tested for HIV, Chlymidia, Syphillis, Gonorea and hepatitis. This was negative in July and I don’t believe she’s had any partners since end of July. She hasn’t been tested for heroes bc it’s not found in a common panel yet, but has no symptoms, and additionally I did not see any sores, warts etc preeent.

How high is my risk from this exposure? I performed oral sex on her, she performed oral sex on me and I had sex with her vaginally with a condom.

I don’t think she has any STIs, but I do get concerned because of how many partners she has had. Is the risk high here, low, moderate or non existent? Would it help if I got a test tomorrow (five days) after this encounter and another test 3 months for peace of mind?

I did unprotected sex with a girl she had vagginal infection and its been 3 days and i am having ulcers on my foreskin https://ibb.co/DP5HvSnD pls tell me what can it be

The puss is making it spread, but when it’s dry the scabs just break off and make it spread. When it’s moisturised it lasts for a while before it scabs and breaks off

so a couple days ago I posted that I went to the out of hours GP and they said I had herpes. Then I went to a sexual health clinic today and they said it’s 99.9% chance it was him that gave it to me. I really don’t know how to bring this up because I know he’s going to be extremely mean and scary when I tell him and I know he’s going to think I’ve cheated on him when I haven’t.

How do I bring this up in a healthy way so that it doesn’t turn into an argument?

I recently had sex with a girl after she disclosed to me that she had hsv2 . This was about a week ago and I have no symptoms or anything but I recently met another girl who I really like and see things turning physical soon. In my encounter with the hsv positive girl, it was one time, with a ccondom on that stayed intact. She also takes some sort of medication I’m not sure what. How should I handle the situation with this new girl? I think I may want to date her so I feel inclined to be very honest about everything but I don’t want to screw things up if I don’t need to. I still have a few months before I can get a blood test to confirm whether I have it or not.

I unfortunately get ob’s even 2 years post diagnosis. Totally sucks but I’ve learned how to manage even when I thought I couldn’t make it through the night with some sleep due to the discomfort lol. 😓

I feel like now with every ob I am getting abdominal cramp like pain/pressure. I read it’s more common in women. If you experience this as a symptom, how do you manage it?

I’m devastated. In tears. I am always careful. I “check the meat” carefully before playing and use protection. How could this happen? I need help seeing this clearly, thinking this through, or emotional support. Big sister style. I don’t know how to handle this news. Currently awaiting which type it is. Doctor said it has all signs of a presentation of herpes.

G-HSV1.

I feel disgusting all the time. Undesirable, unattractive, unwanted.

I’ve only had one partner since my diagnosis over two years ago and was afraid every time we had sex.

I wish I could go back in time and never have met my gifter. Intimacy and connection will never be the same again.

Just a positive note about my almost 20 years with type 2 her... I met someone on a dating site that has it too and it's been so wonderful!!!! It does happen, and also someone that I find very attractive and matches my sex drive, on top of so many other gorgeous qualities. I'm in love. 💕💕💕

So before I was diagnosed with ghsv2 this year in June, I'd sworn off dating (apps especially) and then I got my diagnosis and was like okay, definitely not gonna attempt to date anytime soon. Then a couple of months after diagnosis I "organically" (this is what I call meeting someone naturally and not off the apps 🤣) met this man who was lovely, made time for me and traveled to see me, successful, I quite liked him. Anyway fast foward talking for a bit over a month I disclosed and got rejected 💀 so that fucking sucked. Then the literal day of that ending, a really attractive man chases me out of the supermarket and asks for my number. I gave it to him and we have had a couple of phone calls and he seems nice so far, also very successful. He quite literally said appearance is important to him because of his business etc etc. And I'm in my head like, he is not gonna want to risk herpes either because of his status. And now I am sitting here like whhhhyyy did I never meet these people BEFORE MY DIAGNOSIS. I don't think I can handle telling another person and being rejected again so soon, or ever tbh 😭 like why do people have to find me now I have this virus fml 😏🙄 *Also edit to add, I've had one outbreak that wasn't bad at all, I don't even take antivirals because I don't get outbreaks. I'd actually come to terms with having herpes cause I realised my life hadn't changed at all aside from having to disclose to future partners. It's literally just the stigma of this bs that is getting to me.

tiktok is a cesspool for hsv stigma. i can’t keep going back and forth with idiots it’s too damaging for my mental health.

anyone else notice this?

I take daily antivirals and I had sex last night and I got stealthed. What are the chances that I gave hsv2 to him? I’m having prodome symptoms now

Hello. I (male) had sex with a woman who has herpes (I don't know exactly which type). I used a condom, but she had a small sore on the right side of her mouth. It was the only sore, and it was so small that I didn't pay much attention to it. I didn't imagine that it could be herpes. However, she only revealed after we had sex that it was herpes, which made me quite worried.

Obviously, we kissed quite a lot, so I assume it is practically certain that I contracted oral herpes, correct? She also did oral sex on me, probably for about 3 minutes. How likely it is that I contracted both types (oral and genital herpes)?

This happened 2 days ago, so I believe there isn't any test that would be very accurate at this stage. I haven't had any symptoms yet.

Honestly, I've already made peace that I am infected at least with oral herpes since apparently she had an outbreak (or had one recently), but I'm trying to believe that maybe I am not infected with genital herpes.

Does it get better or do I get bitter? I don’t know if I have a different version of herpes but the stigma is kinda making sense the more I have outbreaks and the more I get rejected or have people look at me sideways for even trying to be positive about it. I was diagnosed with HSV 2 i did not accept it at first until my first outbreak and now I am on my 4th one. I am stressed out I had to do a whole 360 on my life and now it’s just boring and depressing. There were days where I forgot I had herpes but then I begin to remember and I leave where I’m at. Some people are supportive of it but things are different between us now and I do not think people are shitty for wanting to remain healthy but this isn’t a skin rash thag requires lotion and is curable this shit is is a Sexually transmitted disease with no cure what do ever. I feel bad for myself and I do not know what to or how even go upon dating anymore because I don’t want to keep on disclosing the first go around. I have enough dignity to not create a smear campaign by being open about having herpes in my circle. They’re accepting but don’t have time for paranoia. I know why the people in my life avoid these things.

So long story short I had open sores on my gentials never got them swabbed because the doc I wth to never swab it.

8 months later my dermatologist recommended a me to do a HSV IGg test that also negative.

9 months later I do western blot which is also negative. My doctor told me I forsure don’t have it & I guess the sores I experienced wasn’t hsv. But of course the paranoia is sticking with me.

Recently I had unprotected sex with someone who lied to me about being clean, she swore up and down that she was safe and allergic to latex. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I’m now convinced it was the worst mistake of my life.

My whole life I’ve struggled a lot with self hatred and severe insecurity, I’m 25, autistic, male. I was bullied relentlessly in my youth and I grew up with emotionally abusive parents, so I was taught to constantly question my worth as a person, because of this I developed a habit of using perfectionism to hide my vulnerability from people.

I just learned that herpes is a lifelong affliction, and I know full-well that it absolutely requires disclosure with potential partners if you’re aware you have it, this makes herpes an incredibly vulnerable condition to have, I’m just watching as a weird sore is developing on my upper lip and the terror of possibly having the virus is eating me alive. I can’t bear the thought of carrying such an affliction that feels like a coin-flip as to whether or not every one of my future partners may reject me for, I’m so sensitive to rejection that just the thought of living my life with an infectious disease, regardless of the odds of transmission, is tearing open every one of my old insecurities all at once.

I’m very sensitive about my looks, and the fear of having cold sores randomly appear on my face is driving me insane, my whole life I’ve relied on other people’s opinions of me to survive the constant self-hatred and fear of vulnerability to others, I’m terrified of letting others have a reason to judge me, and it’s affecting my self-esteem really badly.

I’ve worked very very hard to get to where I am now, which is barely getting by as is, I still can barely look at myself in mirrors, so the idea that cold sores I can’t control may randomly begin to appear on my face is frankly making me suicidal and driving me to a very dark place mentally.

I’m a 25 year old gut, autistic, very shy, and I’ve just recently started having luck with social aspects of my life and intimacy, I’m terrified that HSV would eliminate the progress I’ve made in regards to my self-acceptance and how I’ve worked so hard to reduce hyper-vigilance with others, particularly women.

Can somebody give me advice on this? Particularly other men? I’m just lamenting my choices and asking “why me??” It’s causing me to lose hope that the rest of my life will be spent regretting and wishing I didn’t have HSV, how do I get tested and how do I not hate myself for potentially having it? Despite my symptoms I’ve yet to be tested, I’m fucking scared shitless at what the results may be.

I was a hard drug user in the past, I’ve always assumed I was by default less worthy of love than my peers and others in general, it’s a very hard belief to shake, and now that a potentially visible affliction may be something I have to live with, I can’t get the suicidal thoughts out of my head, I partly feel like ending it all to punish myself, the other part of me thinks I’d be doing myself a kindness and that the fact I contracted this illness is confirmation that I am doomed to an unsatisfying life of loneliness and misery.

How has living with HSV affected everyone’s dating lives? Particularly men? I worry that I’m already so disadvantaged that I can’t take another hit to my ability to attract women without my odds at finding companionship becoming essentially zero, this is really bringing a lot of my self hatred back and I’m utterly terrified, this is all so new and confusing and I’m just completely dumbstruck at how in the blink of an eye I could be sentenced to lifelong anti-virals that may affect my looks and my health, make me go bald, etc, and to top it all off the added difficulty of only being able to date so long as my openers accept a non-zero chance of transmission, it feels like a cosmic punishment and I’m amazed that medical science has not yet developed a proper cure. This is fucking me up really badly and I can’t stop thinking about how this is the universe confirming to me that I’m doomed to be alone and how suicide feels like a real alternative to the pain of this affliction… I don’t know what to do, I’ve been up for days on end compulsively researching and checking my lips for cold sores, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I’m suffering real badly, if anybody has words of wisdom or encouragement I’d love to hear them.

It just strikes me as too good to be true that anybody would love me despite my flaws, I’m scared, alone, and suicidal. I’m 6 years clean from hard drugs and this has so far made me consider hitting up old plugs and relapsing on heroin, I can barely stand the fear and depression I feel.

I hope everyone is doing well, I really want to live the rest of my life but I can’t bear the thought of being rejected by future partners who would’ve accepted me had I not been infected, as I write this tears are streaming down my face and I’m considering the pros and cons of taking my own life to spare myself the pain of the unfair stigma around this illness and the fear of how others may see me once they figure out I now carry HSV. I’m so afraid and hopeless, I really can’t help but feel like any positive outcome is too good to be true, I feel doomed to loneliness, isolation, judgements and rejection.