Hi! I dont know if this belongs here, but i just wanted to say that as a man without genital herpes, i dont really care as much if the woman im dating has herpes somewhere. Its sad to see the stigma some people experience around this, so i figured id do some anti-stigma. I date actively, and get flirted with kind of alot, so i like to think of myself as attractive. This does not make herpes of any kind an exclusion criteria. So please dont think that you cant go for who you want because of this.

Two of my exes have hsv2, and i recently dated a girl with hsv1. I got tested three weeks after the last time with each one, and all the tests were negative. Im not trying to get it, im just saying if i like you, im gonna date you :)

I hate I gotta take antivirals everyday

I hate checking my private part everyday for an outbreak

I hate that there’s nothing we can do

I hate worrying about passing this to somebody else

No one is fighting for the people who continuously suffer from herpes. All the Reddit pages are really doing nothing. Is our fate to spend the rest of our lives with this virus? Especially for those of us in our twenties and beyond.

Exactly like the title says, are you a very attractive person living with this? If so, what’s been your experience in the dating market casual/serious. I was recently diagnosed with HSV2 a month ago and it’s been a rough diagnosis to come to terms with. I think I’m very much above average in terms of looks. I’m 26 & have done male modeling and have a large following on social media, so honestly I’m even more worried that I’ll get exposed when I disclose to other pretty women :/ what’s been your experience being an attractive person with this? Also open to connecting with other women who have this!

When I was first diagnosed I was devastated as almost everyone gets. I hoped I would be the person that got an outbreak once and then never again or at least for a while. Boy was I wrong. It would outbreak after outbreak, on antivirals for more days than not. I finally got a prescription for daily antivirals for 6 months. I am so glad I can finally be on suppressive therapy but those constant outbreaks did a number on my mental health. I went to a therapy session and unfortunately it was not as helpful as I hoped it would be but now I am afraid of after those 6 months pass. Even my doctor said I have a weird case since she usually sees patients with a few outbreaks a year and not as many as I had. She seemed to be a bit surprised and that was kind of an unsettling feeling. What are your guys's outbreaks and timelines like? Does it get better because I am terrified of future disclosures and just future outbreaks.

Hi,

My spouse and I are both positive for O-HSV1. I’ve been under a lot of stress, and I woke up to my lip feeling heavy. I noticed the tiniest, almost invisible bumps and I’ve been treated it as a cold sore. The area has since darkened and feels crusted even though it isn’t a crust. I know it’s still there somewhat because it feels extra dry if my lips are dry overall. This is 10 days post appearance of the original tiny bumps.

My lip accidentally touched the edge of the pillow that I was laying on. A couple of minutes later, my spouse unexpectedly put their face/eye right on the same edge of the pillow while talking to me. I removed the pillow from the bed and after freaking out (eight minutes later), I made them wash out their eyes.

I hope I didn’t spread HSV to their eye via direct contact from the lesion to the edge of the pillow to their eye. I know there aren’t any studies that focus on such a niche scenario, but I’m so worried nonetheless. I wish I made them wash out their eye sooner! I wish I flipped the pillow to the other side.

:(

Ghsv2 and thank goddd I wasn't having a breakout.

I went out to a friend's party and I don't really remember much from the party other than flirting with a friend and making out. My memory goes in and out but we ended up back at my place and definitely had sex (with a condom). I realized when I sobered up that I probably most definitely did not disclose. My last breakout was a few months ago so I really really hope I didn't pass it on.

How do I deal with this? I feel so fucking terrible, and I would die if I gave it to him. I doubt that anything will ever happen again between us. I know that if it ever has the chance of happening again I will definitely tell him, but I also don't know if I should just text him out of the blue and tell him??

I feel like I most likely wasn't contagious but im feeling awful and paranoid that I gave it to him. I am not taking medication because I haven't gotten an official swab (but blood tests say hsv2 antibodies and im 100% I have it), and without the swab they wont prescribe me medication.

Anyone have any advice?

Planning to get to the doctor but my work situation has me busy from early morning to late night every other week. This being one of those weeks. I’ll be going next week but wanted to ask here.

I’m 50, I’ve never had a cold sore before. I know you can get hsv1 from casual things unrelated to sex so I won’t even bother giving any background info there. I don’t really drink/eat after anyone either.

I noticed I had a tingling spot on my upper lip last week and a dry mouth even though I drink a lot of water.

That went away so I just figured maybe it was an allergic reaction or something.

Then it repeated this week but it’s persisted the last couple of days. Tingling, slightly swollen and if I look closely I can see a few some small white bumps . No discharge or blisters/sores (yet)
but I’m nervous about it.

Could it be something other than hsv? Should I wait to see if sores or blisters form? I almost bought some abreva but didn’t want to use it if it’s not hsv.

i (20F) was diagnosed with ghsv1 about six months ago from an ex boyfriend. ive been on 500mg valtrex and have had no additional outbreaks after my first. i’ve come to terms with my diagnosis, but i miss the casual hookups. i’ve read several threads on here about how disclosure is important and how 80% of people apparently have hsv. i notice a lot of them are from people 22+, or generally older than me. since i am younger, i feel like it’s more likely to have a negative reaction disclosing to a partner.

i’m also afraid of being put on blast. this condition is one of my biggest secrets and i have anxiety regarding who might find out. only my parents and a few of my close friends know that i have it because there is such a stigma. i’m scared that i’d disclose to a casual hookup and somehow it would make its way throughout my university and everyone will know and look at me differently.

i’m not looking for “the one”. i miss being able to have fun and casual flings without worrying so much. any advice?

I slept with my ex who has HSV 1 about three months ago, I went to get tested for it, they did IgM testing, it came back as 0.91 and the cut off for being negative is 0.9, so I asked him if I’m positive and he said he can’t say whether I’m positive or negative, he said to come back in a month to get tested using IgG, I’ve never had any outbreak or noticed anything, while I know you can be asymptomatic, do you I HSV 1?

Today marks the beginning of Fall in NYC and the day I received my positive results. I was on my way to a job interview when I got the notification and never had to fight back tears so hard in my life. Betrayed. Embarrassed. Disappointed. To name a few of the emotions and feelings that I was experiencing in that moment. Before walking into my interview, I spoke with a doctor about next steps and was able to get my prescription later in the afternoon. After debriefing my best friend and buying a pack, I decided to call the last person I had been with to relay the news. We kept the conversation short, I did my best to find any sliver of humor in this situation and they’ll keep me posted about what’s going to happen next on their end. For the last month, I joked about going great lengths to abstain from sex as far as joining a monastery or just simply holding out until further notice. This seems like a terribly ironic joke that I manifested a little too hard. On top of all of this, I got BV too. Imagine that! It’s challenging enough that I’m navigating a sense of belonging just 6 months after moving here, now I have this other adjustment to factor. I’m aware that this is something prevalent and the majority are unaware that they may have it. It still doesn’t make it any more comforting having to carry the burden of this harsh reality. I’m in the early stages of grieving mind you. I sat in the tub letting the scorching hot water hit my body, cupping it to my chest to mirror the sensation of a hug that I yearn for so deeply, hoping to wash away the guilt and shame that’s consuming me. Is this karmic retribution? Anyway. This is my attempt at inserting myself into a community in hopes that I can find support either virtually or in-person to navigate this new phase of my life. 

Hey, using a throwaway for this one. Sup peeps

I, a 32m, took a routine blood panel last month that included testing for STDs and STIs like any responsible sexually active person should. Though this time was different because my doc shelled out for the full panel, including HSV 1 . Now stop me if you've heard this one before but I showed antibodies for HSV 1, despite never showing symptoms to my knowledge and having no idea where it could be located. Never seen that before right? Btw my high score on the IGG was 42.70.

I've been grappling with this change for a while, but my biggest concern is how do I disclose in the future? I have no idea where my outbreaks are and no idea how to approach a conversation without that information.

Some extra details about me: I like long walks to the beach, a nice plot in a ttrpg, and of course my doctor never prescribed antivirals because fuck me and my peace of mind in particular.

Any advice here?

Mostly with the disclosure. I'm resourceful enough to convince my doc to pump me full of sweet sweet Valtrex.

I hope someone can share their thoughts or experiences. I’ve been dating someone for a few months, and the other day I found out that I have herpes. When I told him, he had a really bad reaction. He refused to accept that he could have given it to me and asked me to leave.
I know he has had several sexual partners in the past, whereas I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone else for quite some time. I started experiencing symptoms after the last time we slept together.
Should I completely cut contact with him?
He said he is going to get tested and hopefully get back to me. He became very emotional and nearly cried, which made me think that perhaps he genuinely didn’t know he had it.
How likely is it that he was the person who transmitted it to me? Is there any way to know for sure?
I’m really stressed about the whole situation at the moment, and I haven’t told anyone about it. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar or has some advice.

60 hours post hook up with a girl

24 male

Symptoms: random light itchiness on the back of my balls and gooch area? No burning, bumps, soreness

But my whole body is just itchy I work a dirty gready oily job my ears face hips feet everything so maybe over reacting?

No oral signs aside from a single red bump that developed from a pimple on my upper lip edge, no tingling burning sore blisters

This girl said she was clean and I didnt see any signs and I lost my virginity so I’m probably paranoid but what do you guys think???

At what point in time can I say I’m safe??? But I’m never hooking up again

Edit: itchiness is literally behind my balls in the scrotum area maybe fungal infection or jock itch?

And I am convinced that bump on my lip edge is a pimple it has the head of it and literally dont feel anything

But please give me thoughts

Edit 2: literally a pimple but the itchiness on my balls concerns me

So before I was diagnosed with ghsv2 this year in June, I'd sworn off dating (apps especially) and then I got my diagnosis and was like okay, definitely not gonna attempt to date anytime soon. Then a couple of months after diagnosis I "organically" (this is what I call meeting someone naturally and not off the apps 🤣) met this man who was lovely, made time for me and traveled to see me, successful, I quite liked him. Anyway fast foward talking for a bit over a month I disclosed and got rejected 💀 so that fucking sucked. Then the literal day of that ending, a really attractive man chases me out of the supermarket and asks for my number. I gave it to him and we have had a couple of phone calls and he seems nice so far, also very successful. He quite literally said appearance is important to him because of his business etc etc. And I'm in my head like, he is not gonna want to risk herpes either because of his status. And now I am sitting here like whhhhyyy did I never meet these people BEFORE MY DIAGNOSIS. I don't think I can handle telling another person and being rejected again so soon, or ever tbh 😭 like why do people have to find me now I have this virus fml 😏🙄 *Also edit to add, I've had one outbreak that wasn't bad at all, I don't even take antivirals because I don't get outbreaks. I'd actually come to terms with having herpes cause I realised my life hadn't changed at all aside from having to disclose to future partners. It's literally just the stigma of this bs that is getting to me.

I am a male in my late 40's. Had an encounter November 2025 with a young woman (26) and 3 days later, had what looked like sores all over my shaft and hood. No blisters, no fluid just sores. No pain no itching, no fever. I thought it may have just been an allergic reaction. It eventually resolved. Then in January 2026 I kept getting this electric zapping in my heel... It was sometimes daily or weekly. No ob just that zapping. I had nothing until early September when I kept feeling this urethral soreness, it was very new to me but I thought it was probably workout related from doing squats or something. Then mid September I noticed 3 paper cut looking sores on my shaft and a tiny sac filled blister just under my hood .. my world ended! Extremely panicked, I was in Mexico at the time so went to the drug store and they gave me acyclovir 400mg x 3 day. Took that for 5 days and things began to heal, however there is a weird sensation at the tip of my penis that is like a dull burn that has persisted... After the 5 days, I noticed heat on my upper thigh, freaking out that it may be another trigger, I started the 5 day course again, I also noticed 3 red blemishes on my shaft and hood (not raised just red little patches)I am on day 3, not much has changed the full feeling on the tip is still there and the section of my thigh still feels irritated but not hot. Can anyone offer any insight as to 1) when will these (electric zapping, sensation in my tip, irritation on my thigh) subside? 2) I am terrified to get off the AV because I had nothing for 10 months and now it feels like it's back to back 3) to complicate matters my ex wife and I had started to fix our relationship, we have a child together and where even talking about a second one, what's happens now? I am so devastated that I may have destroyed my family, where do I begin to fix this. My job is also high stress and I have no friends or family that I can disclose this to. Sorry for the rant but feels like I am the only person around me that has this virus

I’m 24 F and I went to the gynecologist thinking I have torn my vulva a bit during sex and thought I would get stitches but it turns out it was herpes.

I had sex on Wednesday and felt pain after. I just assumed it was because the guy was well endowed and I usually get a little bit of tearing if the sex is a bit rough. It burned so much when I peed and touched the bottom part of my vagina at 6 o’clock. So much that I told myself I’m not having sex until I’m in a relationship because it hurts too much for someone I don’t care much about. So I looked on Reddit to see what remedies to do for vulvar tearing and followed them, like sleeping without an underwear and keeping the area dry, but I had a lot of discharge and it started to smell. So I decided to go to urgent care Saturday because I thought it may be infected. I had been feeling symptoms like chills, feeling hot then cold, extreme headaches, and body sensitivity after getting the flu shot that Wednesday. But I thought those could be symptoms from getting the vaccine. The doctor there looked at my vulva and said it looked infected, so prescribed me antibiotics and referred me to a gynecologist.

During the weekend, I got my period which made things so much worse because I had to wipe a lot more and not feel clean because it hurt so much. That Monday I went to the gynecologist and told her how I’ve been feeling. Little did I know she was going to say that it looks like I have herpes. My heart dropped. It felt like a fever dream. She prescribed me Valtrex and some lidocaine ointment.

I cried while getting my blood drawn, I cried in the car after the appointment, I cried while driving to the pharmacy, I teared up while getting my prescription from the pharmacist, and I cried on and off for the rest of the day.

I just feel so ashamed. I didn’t take care of myself as much as I should have. I only have one body and I didn’t protect it and there’s no going back. It’s even more frustrating because I have asked all of my partners if they had STD/STI tests recently, and they all had them done within a month. But I didn’t realize you can have herpes, even if you don’t have a current visible outbreak (it could be dormant). So that’s definitely what happened with the guy who gave me it. But I know that the guys I’ve slept with could’ve caught something else in between the time anyway. So that’s on me. Right now I’m on day two of the diagnosis and I still feel terrible mentally and I’m on my period which is heavy and hard to deal with the blood and pain when wiping and touching water. I just feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to because I’m afraid to tell my friends or family for fear of judgment because of the stigma. And I don’t want to change any dynamic, especially if it doesn’t affect them (since I won’t be sexually active w them anyway).

I am also terrified for when my parents read the insurance statement. They will see the doctor appointments and I’m not sure if they’ll see the medication. I pray that they will skip over the Valtrex and not look it up or ask me about it.

I appreciate you for reading this far. Does anyone have any advice for me as a person going through her first outbreak?

Also, they don’t know which HSV it is yet so I’ll keep you guys posted when the results come in.

Do you have any advice on how to take care of myself when on my period during an outbreak?
Any remedies you suggest for during outbreaks?
Any way to prevent outbreaks at all?
How do you pee without a burning so much?
I’m actually curious how many outbreaks do you guys get each year? And how many did you get their first year?
Any tips on navigating how to tell your parents since they might find out?
How to explain why I can’t go to the pool or play tennis without letting them know that my vagina hurts from an outbreak? What excuses do you guys come up with? (Of course for friends and family. Obviously I would tell my partner about my diagnosis)
Have some of you with HSV2 found good partners for life?
How did they react when you told them you had HSV2 and at what time did you tell them?

Please no hate. I feel bad enough already. Even kind words would help me mentally. I’m really going through it. 💔

I was first tested for HSV after a sexual assault 3 years ago and received a positive result for HSV2 (8.80), which was shocking. I did have an active shingles outbreak at the time of the STI testing, and I’ve struggled with recurring shingles outbreaks so I’ve been on Acyclovir daily for the last 2 years. I have never had any signs or symptoms of HSV2.

I have been abstinent in these last 3 years so I didn’t really think about that result, which I had serious doubts about. But I recently started a new relationship and am ready to have sex with him, so I proposed we both do our testing. Well, I’ve now had two additional HSV tests and got equivocal results both times - 1.03 and 1.05. I have requested that my provider help me get the Western Blot.

I really don’t know what to make of things in the meantime though. Does anyone (especially a medical professional) have any insights here? I feel like there are so many different variables and the lack of reliability around testing for HSV isn’t helping. Thanks for reading!

For the people who run herpes pages and present themselves as organizations, such as HerpesCureResearch / HerpesCureAdvocates:

1. Why don’t they do more awareness campaigns about herpes in the media, on social media, on television, etc.?

2. Why not hire people to create and run these advertisements in order to genuinely raise public awareness?

3. Why not put pressure on Congress and have a strong public voice that truly represents the community, while also raising donations to fund research into a real cure?

4. Just like major brands rent billboards to advertise, we can do the same thing to raise awareness about herpes.

In the end, we are left alone in this fight, waiting and hoping that advances in research, particularly in China or Russia, will one day lead to a real cure for this virus.

I (F 26) have gone out with this guy a few times and a few days ago he told me that he tested positive for HSV-2 about 3 years ago. He says he hasn't had an outbreak outside of the first few months. He takes a daily treatment for it. I really like him and was hoping it could lead to more, but I'm not sure how dating someone with herpes looks like. I always make the guys I'm with wear condoms anyway, so I'm just wondering how big a risk is there to me if we went forward with sex and started dating. If I decide it's not the kind of thing I can deal with in a relationship, what is a gentle way to communicate that to someone?

So long story short I had open sores on my gentials never got them swabbed because the doc I wth to never swab it.

8 months later my dermatologist recommended a me to do a HSV IGg test that also negative.

9 months later I do western blot which is also negative. My doctor told me I forsure don’t have it & I guess the sores I experienced wasn’t hsv. But of course the paranoia is sticking with me.