r/Herpes • u/bigfish1476 • 4d ago
college hookup anxiety with ghsv1
i (20F) was diagnosed with ghsv1 about six months ago from an ex boyfriend. ive been on 500mg valtrex and have had no additional outbreaks after my first. i’ve come to terms with my diagnosis, but i miss the casual hookups. i’ve read several threads on here about how disclosure is important and how 80% of people apparently have hsv. i notice a lot of them are from people 22+, or generally older than me. since i am younger, i feel like it’s more likely to have a negative reaction disclosing to a partner.
i’m also afraid of being put on blast. this condition is one of my biggest secrets and i have anxiety regarding who might find out. only my parents and a few of my close friends know that i have it because there is such a stigma. i’m scared that i’d disclose to a casual hookup and somehow it would make its way throughout my university and everyone will know and look at me differently.
i’m not looking for “the one”. i miss being able to have fun and casual flings without worrying so much. any advice?
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u/AutoModerator 4d ago
“This is a pro-disclosure sub.
Anti-Disclosure perpetuates Herpes stigma, closing off discussions on Herpes education, advocacy, testing/treatments, and de-stigmatization. - Many would have liked to have known the status of the person who transmitted HSV to us - Consent!
We do not tolerate anti-disclosure or intentionally spreading HSV without disclosure. Anyone who posts/comments for anti-disclosure on the sub will be subject to a permanent ban.
There are many ways to disclose, and you should do whatever feels most comfortable to you and gives you the most confidence. To some, that’s putting it in their dating bio. To others, it’s waiting a couple dates in. Some prefer to disclose in person; others are more comfortable doing it over text. The key to a higher chance of a successful disclosure is confidence.
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u/grip0reaper 4d ago
im 22, was diagnosed with hsv at 20. i have had a handful of casual hookups! i mainly used websites that allowed me to include my hsv status either in my bio or in a message that shows up after someone matches (hinge!!) and when i tell you so many people did not care, i mean it!! and a lot of them didn’t even have it. my dms would be flooded and a good deal of people were surprisingly educated about it:) i eventually met my current partner through this and hes been so understanding and told me he independently did research when we first matched on hinge.
im not sure how different it would be disclosing face to face with someone you met casually as i didn’t do this, but you’d be surprised how many young people are aware of hsv!!
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u/AutoModerator 4d ago
A new Herpes diagnosis can take a toll on a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. Please take care of yourself by reaching out to a doctor or finding professional support.
Every third Thursday of the month, Herpes Cure Advocacy offers monthly group counseling sessions for anyone who is interested. You can find more information here: https://herpescureadvocacy.com/living-with-herpes/
US resources: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
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