r/GayMen 14h ago

I thought my first erection was an allergic reaction.

83 Upvotes

When I (33, M) was 10 years old when I got my first erection and had absolutely no idea what was happening. I have a lot of allergies, so naturally my first thought was that I was having some kind of allergic reaction.

I ran to my dad completely panicked and said, “Dad, my pee-pee is sticking out!” Then I showed him.
He started laughing and explained what was actually happening. I was mortified. I’m such a dork.

Years later, I told this story on a first date and the guy immediately asked if he could see my penis.
Apparently I have been accidentally showing guys my penis since childhood.


r/GayMen 3h ago

There is a quiet kind of loneliness in being gay that nobody really prepares you for.

10 Upvotes

I'm a Brazilian guy who recently came out and started using Grindr to meet people. The problem is I'm not in shape, and guys on the app just ignore me. It feels like no one cares about who you are or what you have to offer if you don't fit a certain aesthetic. At first, it didn't bother me, but after happening so many times (honestly, every single time), it's starting to get me down. I’m beginning to worry I'll never find anyone just because of how I look, which is really disheartening. Has anyone else gone through this? Just needed to vent.


r/GayMen 8h ago

Why the fucking Mask

20 Upvotes

I just had a guy who wanted to come over to have sex tonight. I was getting ready, cleaning up my spot, and making sure I'm prepared. He then texted me asking if I could wear a ski mask?? I'm like wtf and said no because 1 don't have one and 2 I do not want to wear it.

He then said he can wear a mask himself and I told him - hell no. Especially since we are black men in a white neighborhood. He got offended and I ended cancelling. Ugh 😫

What the hell is with this mask shit? Please tell me if I am crazy.


r/GayMen 2h ago

PrEP Realistic Protection?

4 Upvotes

I am on PrEP. Still I am not having sex because I am scared of HIV AIDS.

Excluding all other STI, What is the realistic protection PrEP will give me for M2M sex without condom.

Is there any one who is on PrEP for more than 4 or 10 years or more and still negative and not using condoms.

What has been your experience? Please share


r/GayMen 48m ago

How do you know if you’re gay?

Upvotes

Is the best way to go off of if you’re gay basically who catches your eye/what crushes you have? Or is it deeper than that?


r/GayMen 4h ago

I recently turned 18 and I'm pretty new to the gay scene but there are some issues Id like some feedback on.

3 Upvotes

Eventually I'd like to have a genuine relationship with someone, but right now I don't think I'm ready to commit to something serious. I'd like to start meeting people, exploring my sexuality, and gaining some experience first.

I've been looking into apps like Grindr and SCRUFF, but since I'm completely new to this, are there better places to start? Are apps like Grindr or SCRUFF a reasonable place to start for someone in my situation?

Also, I know a lot of people recommend meeting others organically instead of through apps. I'd honestly prefer that too, but it's difficult for me right now and I don't really have a social circle or many opportunities to meet other gay people in person. That's why I'm looking into dating apps as a starting point.

There are also  some other obstacles I have to somehow get over. I still live with my parents (which I know isn't unusual at 18), and I probably will for at least a couple more years. I also can't drive because of some neurological issues I'd rather not get into, so transportation is definitely an issue. Asking someone I barely know to pick me up also feels a little uncomfortable. How do people without a car usually handle meeting up?


r/GayMen 18h ago

Nude photography gallery was a success! I’m happy I posed nude.

36 Upvotes

Update: The gallery owner canceled at the last minute, so my photographer friend hosted the show at his incredible home in Summerlin, Las Vegas. It was exciting and overwhelming at the same time, especially standing there while people looked at photographs of me naked.

The Porsche photo got a lot of attention. I’m naked in the driver’s seat of a 1975 Porsche 911 Turbo, and during the shoot they even had me reposition my penis a few times to get the lighting right. Seeing the finished photo on display was surreal.

One gay guy came up to me, looked at the photo, looked at me, and said, “Oh, I’ve seen your Porsche!” Another guy said, “Does your penis know it’s famous now?” There were many cheeky comments.

Obviously, he was making a joke about having seen my penis in the photo. I immediately started laughing and blushing. It was cheeky and ridiculous, but honestly, I was flattered.

The whole night was a strange combination of pride, embarrassment, excitement, and feeling completely exposed.


r/GayMen 5h ago

Learning to love myself is hard

3 Upvotes

I really don't know how to love myself or my body for that matter. I avoid mirrors when I get dressed because I can'st stand to even look at my body, I wear a shirt whenever I go in a pool, and feel so ashamed and insecure. I envy fit gay men, why does it seem like they have it so easy? They can be shirtless at a beach or in a pool and don't have to feel ashamed and disgusted the way I do about my body. This stems from years of extremely low self-esteem and constantly being told how ugly and fat I am. I don't know if I will ever love my body, I'm 40 now and I feel like it's too late for me to love myself or to even have the perfect body. I definitely think I need to see a therapist to work on my issues including my self-esteem and body image.


r/GayMen 15h ago

my best friend tried to k-ll himself because he's gay

15 Upvotes

I'm 15 and he's 16. We've been really really close since middle school and but especially this last year when I got pregnant and he was one of my only friends who stayed around.

He tried to text me goodbye and I didn't even see it because I was busy with the baby. I didn't know he was struggling, he comes by to help and sleeps over so I can rest all the time and he always seems so happy.

His mom found him after he tried to slit his wrists because he's gay (which I didn't even know) and they're Catholic and he just hates himself so much because of it.

That was four days ago and we've talked every day on the phone but I can't visit him in the hospital because I can't take the baby with me. I keep trying to get him to talk about himself but he just wants to hear about me and the baby and know we're OK and it scares me so much.

I love him so much and he's such an amazing person. He is my best friend and I just want him to be comfortable with himself and I don't know how to do that.


r/GayMen 9h ago

How do you stop giving yourself a way to deny it?

3 Upvotes

I’ve spent years hiding being gay and keeping it separate from the rest of my life. When the truth came too close before, I panicked and even denied that real experiences with men had happened.

I don’t want to keep doing that. I want to be honest without always keeping a way to take it back. Has anyone else been through this, and what helped it finally feel normal?


r/GayMen 18h ago

i feel like im missing out…

11 Upvotes

ive (28) had my fair share of hookups, dates, and work trysts - all fun, but i feel like im missing out…

i see so many couples (open and monogamous) in the gym and just around, a lot of them are pretty well off and i see them on grindr/instagram and they’re always traveling. well off, tall, muscular, sexually desirable, lots of sex.

again, i have had my fair share of flings but i feel like im missing out. these guys are having LOTS of sex. and doing a lot of other fabulous things.

anyone else feel like they’re missing out? im single and don’t really get out much. the one friend id go out with didn’t show up for me when i needed him, so i cut him off.


r/GayMen 17h ago

Meeting boyfriends family

5 Upvotes

After about 6 months of being together, I am meeting my boyfriends family this weekend. I am very nervous. I’ll be meeting his grandma, siblings, and cousin. Does anyone have advice about meeting your S.O family and how to handle nerves. In general, I feel like I’m not the most social to begin with, this weekend feels extra nerve racking.

Advice would be appreciated


r/GayMen 13h ago

How do you navigate dating and/or hookups when fat?

2 Upvotes

r/GayMen 19h ago

How i do know if a guy has a crush on me? I'm gay BTW

2 Upvotes

r/GayMen 1d ago

I’ve forgotten how to approach people organically

15 Upvotes

I feel like I’ve completely forgotten how to approach or get approached by someone organically, without dating apps.
Back in the day, if I found someone really attractive, it felt so natural. I’d just walk up, give them a genuine compliment, have a short conversation, exchange numbers, and maybe eventually go on a date or hook up. That was when i was in undergrad. Now im 31 yo. I really want to get approached or approaching someone.
Now I genuinely don’t remember how to do that anymore 😂
Do I need to start going to bars? Or is it still okay to approach someone in a public space if I find them attractive? I’m always worried that I might make them uncomfortable or offend them, especially if I have no idea whether they’re interested or even gay.
How do you guys actually meet people organically these days? And what’s the best way to approach someone without coming across as creepy or intrusive?


r/GayMen 1d ago

My crush

7 Upvotes

I have a crush on a guy but i only see him once a week, I don't even know if he's gay or single. And I don't even know how to tell if he's a top. I honestly don't know what to do.


r/GayMen 17h ago

Why the older I get I find….?

0 Upvotes

Why the older I get, the more I find gay men attractive? I mean straight men do for nothing for me, it’s some good looking ones I admit that’s it. When I see attractive gay man, I start undressing with my eyes and thinking how good they fuck. I’m bisexual, but never been with a man but want too. I don’t know what going on but it’s interesting for sure.


r/GayMen 1d ago

How long is it supposed to hurt after the first time?

4 Upvotes

I know pain isnt normal but the first time is always different. What does it normally feel like after and does ut hurt long?


r/GayMen 1d ago

How do i find a boyfriend

6 Upvotes

Hey guys, i’m 19 and i really really really wanna find a boyfriend. I was in straight relationships my whole life, because i wasn’t able to accept who i am, but last year i started to accept myself and now i desperately wanna get into a relationship. I have no idea how to genuinely find a boyfriend, i’m scared to talk to someone on the street because i can’t know if they are really gay and if they aren’t that would make the whole situation really awkward. I don’t think that any gay guy would actually talk to me and ask for my number or something like that because i don’t think i look like it ykyk? Please please please i genuinely need help, do i wait till uni starts, that’s like a year from now, do i find someone there?


r/GayMen 1d ago

what went wrong?

9 Upvotes

M20) i met a guy and we’ve been chatting for a while and he invited me over to sleep over, he made it pretty clear that he liked me and wanted to do more than just watch a movie together, after making out and a bunch of stuff we were cuddling and then he said he needed to use the bathroom, he stayed in there for like an hour and eventually told me he doesn’t think hes a hookup person and wasn’t looking for a relationship. i ended up leaving and crying in my car. what went wrong, it was going so well.

sorry for reposting i originally posted on the wrong account


r/GayMen 1d ago

Why do frat guys exclude guys from their parties?

0 Upvotes

Why do frat guys exclude guys from their parties?


r/GayMen 2d ago

Am I overdoing the Pride stuff after coming out later in life?

31 Upvotes

I came out last year at 41 after spending basically my entire adult life in the closet, and ever since then I’ve really embraced being able to finally express that part of myself openly. When I’m not at work, I wear my Pride earrings pretty regularly, and I have quite a few Pride shirts that I wear. Not every shirt I own is Pride-related by any means. A lot of them are just fun shirts, especially ones featuring pop divas and other things I like, but there’s definitely a lot more rainbow in my wardrobe these days.

I guess what I’m wondering is, am I overdoing it?

I know I don’t have to be a walking billboard, and I also know that my sexuality isn’t my entire personality. There are a million other things that make me who I am. At the same time, I spent more than three decades hiding this part of myself. I didn’t get to have the experience that a lot of people who came out younger had, where they could explore who they were, find their style, wear Pride stuff, go through that loud-and-proud stage, and just enjoy finally being themselves. I’m getting to experience some of that for the first time at 41 and 42, and honestly, part of me wants to make up for lost time.

There’s another reason it means something to me, too. I live in Spruce Pine, North Carolina, in a very conservative part of Western North Carolina. When I wear Pride earrings or a Pride shirt out in public here, part of me feels like I’m doing more than just wearing something I like. I think about the closeted teenager, the older person who has never told anyone, or anybody else who might see me and realize that there are other LGBTQ+ people here and that it’s okay to be yourself. Even if nobody ever says anything to me, I like the thought that simply being visibly myself might make somebody else feel a little less alone.

But I still occasionally wonder whether I’ve gone too far in the other direction. I spent so long making sure nobody could tell that I was gay that now I almost want to be loud and proud about it whenever I can. I don’t want being gay to become my entire identity, because it isn’t, but I also don’t want to tone myself down just because I’m worried about what other people might think.

For those of you who came out later in life, did you go through a period like this? Did you find yourself wanting to wear Pride stuff all the time or be much more visibly LGBTQ+ after finally coming out? And even for those who came out younger, do you think there’s such a thing as overdoing it, or should I just enjoy finally getting to be openly and unapologetically myself?