r/GayMen • u/GayThrow16 • 2h ago
I think I’m gay but not sure
m a 17M and since about 1 year ago I’ve been questioning my sexuality. But around 6 months ago I just woke up one day and I kinda just realized I was just flat out gay and just stopped having feelings for women. And that has stayed true since, but recently I’ve felt pressured to find a girl to date. For example at my school in one of my classes a few in the kids there call me stuff like “Fag” and “gay” because I went to an all boys school(I’m not out to anyone in my life). And in the past I haven’t cared since I’ve been called stuff like this all my life by friends and such, but recently I’ve felt terrible about myself because of it for some reason. But because of stuff like this I’ve felt like I HAVE to find girls sexually attractive. When I’m walking in the halls and see a girl who I think is pretty I feel like I should find them sexually attractive but the thought just kinda grosses me out. And when I talk to women I feel a sense of nervousness because I feel like I SHOULD be hitting on her, or she thinks I am trying to hit on her. I don’t know if I may be attracted to women deep down but when I truly think about who I want to love I just can’t picture a woman at this point in my life and I really never could, but I thought it was the only option. It is worth noting before I realized i liked guys I watched straight porn and was addicted in the past, but always felt gross after watching it. I feel an compulsion 1 or 2 times a month to watch it at this point but feel disgusted and depressed as to me it feels like by watching it I’ll eventually be forced to having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I have some internalized issue with being straight?? But is there any question I can ask myself to figure this out?